


At First Sight

by Aeltari



Series: Finding Home [1]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Affection, Canon Divergent, Drug Use, F/M, Friendship/Love, Game Dialogue, Game Spoilers, Het Sex, Kissing, Love, Love Triangles, Pregnancy, Romance, Romantic Friendship, Romantic Soulmates, Sexual Scenes, Some Chapters NSFW, Sort of a Songfic, alcohol consumption, death of children, friends - Freeform, game quests
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2018-11-28 16:20:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 42
Words: 142,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11421648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeltari/pseuds/Aeltari
Summary: Guinevere Hannah Stanton emerged from Vault 111 lost and alone, with her infant son kidnapped and her husband murdered, 200 years away from a life she loved, into a world destroyed by the horror of war. Befriending the ghoulish, chem addicted mayor of rowdy Goodneighbor, she is intruduced to the mercenary RJ MacCready, and finds in him a best friend and confidante. Unbeknownst to her, RJ carries a burning love for Guinevere in his heart but never speaks of it, and when she crosses paths with the noble Brotherhood Paladin Eric Danse, it's love at first sight, and she thinks she's found what she was missing. But Guinevere has no idea what fate has in store for any of them, and what roads she'll be forced to take on her journey through a brave new world.





	1. Guinevere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere returns home and tells her friends of the interesting person she met on her travels.

* * *

He knew from the moment he saw her that something monumentous had happened. RJ MacCready had been making dinner when Guinevere came in, a faraway look in her eyes. She'd been gone for two days, longer than he figured her case with Nick Valentine, the detective from Diamond City, would have taken.

"There you are!" He exclaimed. "Thought you found a new place to live and forgot about us!"

John Hancock looked up from his spot on the sofa. "Missed you around here Sunshine," he said amiably.

She put her weapon down on the table and RJ gave a low whistle. "Woah that's some beast of a weapon you got there!"

"Very nice," agreed Hancock. "You buy that out there?"

"It's name is Righteous Authority," said Guinevere with a smile. "And it was given to me by someone I met yesterday."

"That's one hell of a gift!" Exclaimed the mercenary. "So does this someone have a name?"

"Paladin Danse," she said, that far off look returning to her eyes.

"Paladin?" Guffawed RJ. "His name is actually _Paladin_? Tough break!"

"No, that's his title!" Corrected Guinevere.

"Wait a sec...was he wearing a suit of power armor? Did he say anything about the Brotherhood of Steel?"

Guinevere nodded emphatically. "Yes! RJ he's military, and they're going to help us put the world back together!"

Hancock shook his head. "That's not how they work, doll."

"What do you mean?"

"They're technophiles," interjected RJ before the ghoul could respond. "They go around collecting technology. See they believe everyone else is inferior to them and incapable of handling it." There was an edge to his voice and Hancock noticed his scowl as RJ busied himself with stirring the pot on the stove.

Guinevere ran her fingertips along the weapon. "That's not how _he_ explained it. Paladin Danse was wary of me at first but he warmed up. He was very nice."

RJ’s lips tightened but Hancock leaned back and put his feet up on the coffee table. "So tell us about him."

_Guinevere heard the sound of distant gunfire as she and Dogmeat skirted around the hulk of an old bus. Climbing inside she rifled through an old suitcase. Empty. She dug through an old ammo box and found a few stray bullets but nothing else. Outside, her dog suddenly barked. Cocking her gun she crouched down and peered around the doorway._

_Dogmeat snarled and leapt past her, his weight hurtling into a feral ghoul. The creature fell and she took aim and fired into its skull. A few bottlecaps rolled from its withered hand and she picked them up._

_"Good boy," she crooned and petted his head. The shepherd licked her hand then turned and trotted off. They were on their way back home after helping Nick, but Guinevere wanted to do some scavving. RJ had been whining about being out of Bourbon and she knew Hancock wouldn't turn down a bottle of Vodka. But so far her efforts had been fruitless._

_Jogging close to some half ruined buildings, Guinevere kept her eyes and ears alert. Feral ghouls often went inert until awakened by some stimulus and when they attacked, it was fast. Those battle sounds were clearer and she could hear shouts._

_Suddenly Dogmeat gave a vicious bark from somewhere up ahead and she ran forward. She couldn't see where he had gone and followed the snarls and groans. Around the corner she saw the shepherd surrounded by three feral ghouls, teeth bared in aggression, and wasted no time in taking them down._

_"Let's get out of here," she said to the dog and moved off at a jog._

_The battle was now close by and she saw the red streaks of a laser weapon flash overhead. Crouching down, Guinevere tried to see who was doing the fighting. The last thing she wanted to do was assist any raiders._

_Looking up, she saw the remains of a battered sign. Cambridge Police Station. A defensive wall had been erected around it, and it looked too well constructed to have been made by raiders. However, it afforded her no visual beyond._

_Dogmeat barked and she looked up to see a horde of feral ghouls running towards the opening in the wall. Whoever was back there was about to be swarmed. She decided to risk it and help them out._

_With a shout she ran after the horde, taking aim and hitting as many as she could. She always tried for the heads but with the distant ones it was nearly impossible. Opting for the legs she could at least cripple them and stop them from reaching anyone._

_However, there were too many and she couldn't keep up. One clawed at her from behind as she was aiming at another, and that allowed it to close in. With horror she saw two more turn towards her and she panicked, firing in rapid succession in the hopes of hitting any part of them at all to make an escape. She saw the stairs leading to the doors of the station, and a figure in power armor wielding a laser rifle._

_"Dogmeat! Help!" She cried. The shepherd was a blur of black and tan as his jaws snapped onto a withered arm. The owner of the arm fell away, and the dog went for the leg of another. His attacks created an opening and Guinevere dashed towards the stairs. From there she used the better vantage point to fire into the chaos. Another person ran in from the side and together they continued the assault until the freaks stopped coming and there was silence. Feral bodies, some reduced to an ashpile, littered the ground around them._

_Dogmeat licked at his leg then stretched. Guinevere moved towards him, bending and examining him for injury. Aside from a few patches of missing fur, he wasn't the worse for wear._

_She looked towards the figure in the power armor._

_"Hey," she said, standing up._

_The man turned around and she was momentarily taken aback. Her gaze fell on deep dark eyes, fringed by long lashes, set in a face that was noble and handsome despite being streaked with dirt, sweat and grime. His hair was thick and wavy and well trimmed, as was his beard. An old scar ran from his forehead, down his right eye to his cheek. The man's nose was strong and straight but it was his lips that caught her attention: full and sensuous in contrast to the hard metal surrounding him._

_When he spoke, his voice was deep and expressive but edged with wariness. "We appreciate the assistance civilian. But what's your business here?"_

_His hard tone put Guinevere on a defensive edge too. "Before I answer your question, will you tell me who you are?"_

_His eyes narrowed. "In due time. If you want to remain in our compound, I suggest you answer my question first."_

_Guinevere gave him a disarming smile. "I'm just trying to survive out here...like everyone else." She was dismayed when it seemed to have no effect and his focused gaze remained stern._

_"The way you charged in and engaged those ferals, I find that a bit difficult to believe. Are you from a local settlement?"_

_Guinevere wasn't sure how to answer that. She had been from Sanctuary Hills 210 years ago, but no longer considered the place home. Home to her now was a decrepit old diner with a mercenary, a ghoul, a dog and a robot. Far too much detail to share with a stranger no matter how attractive they were. She heard her father's words echo in her mind. 'Honesty before anything else, Guinevere'._

_“I’m from Vault 111,” she answered simply._

_“You’re a vault dweller?” He asked incredulously, his expression softening slightly. “Most people wouldn't admit to such a thing. I appreciate your honesty. If I appear suspicious, it’s because our mission here has been difficult. Since the moment we arrived in the Commonwealth we’ve been constantly under fire. If you want to continue pitching in we could use an extra gun on our side.”_

_He had appreciated her honesty, and Guinevere wanted the same from him. She looked straight at him, meeting his focused gaze. “I want to help, but I don't like the secrecy. Who are you? Really?”_

_The man sighed softly. “Very well. I'm Paladin Danse, Brotherhood of Steel.” He indicated two people behind him. One, a man, was sitting against the building in obvious pain. The other, a woman, was tending him. “Over there is Scribe Haylen and Knight Rhys. We’re on recon duty but i'm down a man and our supplies are running low. I've been trying to send a distress call to my superiors, but the signal’s too weak to reach them.”_

_The woman stood up and turned to him. “Sir, if I may?”_

_He nodded. “Proceed, Haylen.”_

_She looked at Guinevere. “I've modified the tower on the roof of the police station, but i'm afraid it just isn't enough. What we need is something that will boost the signal.”_

_Paladin Danse returned his attention to Guinevere, his eyes roaming her face for a moment. “Our target is ArcJet Systems and it contains the technology we need...the deep range transmitter. We infiltrate the facility, secure the transmitter and bring it back here. So, what do you say? You willing to lend the Brotherhood of Steel a hand?_

_She was intrigued. It seemed that he was part of a fringe military attachment and she wondered why she’d never even heard of them. The military meant law and order and protection and a feeling of warmth spread through her. Guinevere felt suddenly hopeful. “Who are the Brotherhood of Steel?” She asked._

_“Our order seeks to understand the nature of technology. Its power. Its meaning to us as humans. And we fight to secure that power from those who would abuse it.”_

_Guinevere was puzzled. “How did mankind abuse technology?”_

_“Before the great war,” explained Danse. “Science and technology became more of a burden than a benefit. The atom bomb, bio-engineered plagues and FEV are clear examples of the horrors that technological advancement had wrought. We're here to make sure that never happens again.”_

_Guinevere thought about it. His words did have truth to them. She remembered how every technological advance was lauded as progress and a step towards the future. Atomic power had driven that forward by leaps and bounds. Life was excellent. People had luxuries that once existed only in stories. At least in America, they had danced on the edge of a volcano with no thought that it would erupt. And it did. With the overwhelming desire to consume and acquire, resources began to dwindle. The world fell apart. Wars started. Emotion coursed through her as she remembered everything she’d lost. Guinevere swallowed. Paladin Danse was right. It couldn't be allowed to happen again._

_“Your cause seems noble,” she managed to say._

_A glimmer of a smile appeared on his lips and she wondered what he would look like if he were to smile widely._

_“I'm pleased that you agree,” he said. “There are very few outside the Brotherhood who appreciate the gravity of the situation we're facing as a species. So, what do you say? Will you help us?”_

_Guinevere nodded with a large smile and this time she was pleased to see a flicker in his eyes. “Yes, i’ll help you.”_

RJ and Hancock were riveted to her every word. Guinevere had the unique ability of making even the most mundane situations sound interesting.

“So he gave you that gun after the mission?” Asked the ghoul.

“That’s right!” She smiled.

“He sounds like a conman,” complained RJ. “All that sweet talking bullshit to hide the real agenda. I know these guys Guinny. Dealt with them in the Capital Wastes.”

She shrugged. “I like him RJ.”

“See that’s gonna be a problem. Emotions get into it and poof! Logic goes out the window!”

Hancock threw a wad of paper at him. “Hey. Enough. This doll’s got a good head on her shoulders. She knows what’s up. She can take care of herself without taking shit from you, you dig?”

RJ grumbled but fell silent. Guinevere gave Hancock an appreciative smile.

“Oh, I almost forgot! I got some goodies for you guys!” She hoped her gifts would lighten the mood. RJ had turned into a little storm cloud. She bent to her pack and pulled out a bottle of Tequila, a carton of cigarettes and a comic book.

RJ’s eyes lit up and he grabbed it. “Woah! I've never seen this one before!” He stepped over Hancock’s outstretched legs and sat down beside him. “This is great Guinny! You’re the best!”

Hancock indicated the bottle. “I'll gladly take that off your hands, Sunshine!” She handed it to him and he took a swig with a satisfied grunt. “You’re definitely a keeper doll.”

Guinevere took over the dinner preparations. Conversation was at a minimum as RJ refused to put down the comic and Hancock was high on chems. She didn't mind. She was happily going over her whole meeting with Danse. There were things she had deliberately left out in her retelling, that she wanted to keep to herself. Seeing how negatively RJ had reacted she was glad she hadn’t told him she’d tentatively joined the Brotherhood of Steel.

That night as she lay in bed with Dogmeat at her side, she realized she couldn't wait to go back to the station in the next few days. Her final thought as she fell asleep was of the handsome soldier with the sensuous lips.

 _Paladin Danse_.

 


	2. Paladin Danse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paladin Danse shares his experience with Guinevere to Scribe Haylen.

* * *

He sat down at the ramshackle desk, staring at the computer screen. It was time to record the day's events, but his mind was drawing a blank. Usually a day was so uneventful that a few lines sufficed. This time the day had been so full that he was having trouble separating the useful information from the ramblings of his own mind.

"Sir? Would you like me to go over your power armor with the oil?" Haylen's voice drew him back to reality.

Paladin Danse looked up at her. "No, Scribe. I'll tend to it myself once I've completed today's record."

Haylen nodded respectfully and began cleaning a few tools. "So how was the ArcJet mission? Did it go smoothly? I mean seeing as Initiate Stanton was a civilian."

"She isn't untrained. The Initiate has an indirect military background. She followed directions well."

"She really wants to join us?"

Danse nodded. "Her intention seemed pretty clear. She specified not wishing to leave the Commonwealth however. She would remain here in the event that we relocated."

"Because of family?" Haylen asked.

"No. She did mention some close friends as she collected items from the building."

"You think she's pretty," said Haylen matter-of-factly, trying to hide a smile.

Danse blinked in surprise. "That's hardly a requirement for a soldier!"

She turned away and tried to appear nonchalant. "I know. But you still think it, I can tell!"

Danse cleared his throat and made a pretense of studying the screen. Haylen was right. He did find the newcomer attractive. But it was more than that. She was different than the usual stragglers that had appeared. Most were mercenaries and wouldn't lift a finger to help without negotiating a price first. This woman never made mention of any payment.

It was also evident that she still had a heart. She had offered to help tend to Rhys' injuries and he had rudely refused. The vault dweller could easily have reflected Rhys' harshness back at him, but she hadn't.

Then there was the dog. The moment they had entered the building, she had requested some water for the animal, to drink as well as to tend to his wounds. He saw the bond between them immediately. At the conclusion of the battle with the ferals she had checked on the canine before saying a word to anyone else. She had insisted the dog stay behind when they left for ArcJet because old buildings were often filled with sharp debris.

There was also the matter of her name and history.

_They had jogged over the remains of the road in silence. She kept up with him easily, listening respectfully while he discussed the mission._

_"You know," he said, stopping. "I don't believe you told me your name."_

_She smiled warmly. "Guin. Stanton." She jogged off ahead of him, but he'd been stunned for a moment._

_"Lady Guinevere," he said softly, remembering the book he had found in the remains of a library in the Capital Wasteland so long ago. He still had that book tucked away in his footlocker. A story about a King, a Knight and a beautiful lady. It had fueled his imagination and let him experience a world long gone._

_She stopped and turned back to him. "How did you guess that?" She asked, her expression one of surprise._

_"I'm sorry?"_

_"You just said my full name. It's very old, and I didn't think anyone now would have ever heard of it."_

_Danse blinked. "I...it's from a book."_

_Guinevere nodded. "My mother was a professor of literature." She laughed. "I think she wanted me to grow up and have a legendary romance with a brave Knight too, but…” She indicated the wasteland around her with a wry smile and a shrug. Then her eyes wandered to his, and down across his power armor, her eyes widening._

_Danse furrowed his brow. He knew the pre-war world had had many institutions of learning and wondered what type of vault 111 was to have had such luxuries._

_"As I recall," he said, "the King in the story welcomed a woman into his castle who came looking for shelter, but she was gone the next morning before he learned her name."_

_Guinevere smiled. "Well you know mine, and I'll be back. If you want me to, that is. I did say i'd help after all and I didn't just mean for this mission. I'll be around as long as you need me."_

_When she smiled, Danse became acutely aware of his own heartbeat. She was so open and guileless in her expression. He knew that looks could be deceptive but so far she seemed genuine. Whether that was truly the case, only time would tell._

_The green of her eyes reminded him of a poster of the ocean that had hung in the training room when he first joined the Brotherhood. It was worn and torn but a corner of an island and the water could still be seen. He always marvelled at how beautiful the world had once been and it hardened his resolve for their mission._

_His eyes moved over her face, taking in her almond shaped eyes and her high cheekbones. Guinevere’s lips had an upward lift at the corners making it appear as though she were always smiling slightly. Her skin was unlike that of the other wasteland dwellers; it was evenly colored and free of scars and blemishes. He hoped nothing would come along and mar it as that would be a shame. A breeze picked up her hair and she brushed it out of her face, still looking up at him. It fell to her shoulders in soft waves of a golden color. He decided that overall she was quite attractive, and followed that thought by chiding himself on thinking that way about a potential recruit._

_Danse wanted to address Guinevere by her full name but were she to join the Brotherhood formally, it would not be appropriate._

_He had straightened up and given a curt nod. "The assistance will be appreciated soldier."_

_She laughed lightly. "I'm a soldier now! Field promotion! When we met you called me civilian!" She raised her hands in the air in a mock cheer._

_"What are you doing?" He asked, puzzled._

_"Cheering! Like cheerleaders used to do. You know?"_

_Danse shook his head._

_She looked slightly disappointed and tried to explain it to him. "I used to do these acrobatic routines on the game field. Can I show you?"_

_"Acrobatic routines?"_

_Guinevere handed him her gun. Then she ran and performed a series of flips. "See?" She called out. "But i'm a bit rusty. It's been 210 years after all!"_

_He reached her in a few quick strides. "Excuse me? Did I hear you say 210 years?"_

_She nodded and smoothed back her hair. "I told you I'm from Vault 111."_

_"Yes, but I thought you were generational."_

_Her eyes darkened for a moment. "No. We were cryogenically frozen. The containment system failed and I was the only survivor."_

_Danse was stunned into silence for several moments. When he found his voice once again, all he could manage to say was he was sorry. Sorry for her having been caught in one of that repulsive Vault-Tec's experiments, but mostly for the sudden sadness that fell over her. He wished he could bring some measure of comfort to Guinevere but all he could think of to do was divert her attention elsewhere._

_"Let's proceed to ArcJet so Haylen can repair our transmitter."_

"She's actually pre-war?" Haylen sat down hard in a chair, amazement in her eyes.

"Sole survivor of 111. Unbelievable."

"Poor girl, I can only imagine how she feels!"

Rhys limped across the floor for a container of water. "Yeah. Poor girl until she robs us blind or tries to kill us in our sleep. A merc is a merc."

Haylen frowned. "She's not a merc! She never mentioned a word about payment for her help."

"Haven't you learned anything yet?" He barked. "All these helpers we've had were assholes. Just want to get out of here."

Danse affixed the young Knight with a stern glare. "Rhys, while I realize you dislike the Commonwealth I insist you treat each individual we meet with respect until proven otherwise."

Rhys deflated. "Yes sir, sorry sir."

Haylen watched him slink off to the other room. "So how did you end up giving Initiate Stanton your weapon? You love that gun, sir!"

_The heat of the day was evident when they stepped out of ArcJet Systems. Guinevere's face was smeared with sweat and grime and she took off her jacket. Danse had been impressed at her skill with the little 10mm gun. It was grossly underpowered but despite that she was a crack shot. She had followed his directions without question and he found himself enjoying her company. It was an odd feeling for him to trust anyone to have his back who wasn't Brotherhood but it didn't take him long to fall into that comfort zone with her. He was almost sorry the mission was over._

_Guinevere had retrieved the transmitter and put it in her pack._

_"That could have gone smoother, but mission accomplished," he said. Regardless of how impressed he had been, he didn't believe in inflating anyone's ego so early on._

_She raised her eyebrows at him. "I thought we worked well as a team!"_

_"Agreed. It's a refreshing change to work with a civilian who can follow directions properly. That being said, I believe we have two important matters to discuss."_

_Those big green eyes looked up at him and waited for him to continue._

_"First and foremost," he said, removing his helmet. "If you hand me the deep range transmitter, i'd like to compensate you for your assistance during this operation." He held out his trusty gun to her. "I believe you'll find this weapon useful. It's my own personal modification of the standard Brotherhood laser rifle. May it serve you well in battle."_

_Her eyes had widened in awe as she took it reverently. "Oh thank you!" She breathed._

_  
Carved into the side were the words Righteous Authority. She was aware many soldiers named their weapons, Nate had named his after her. They only named the ones they were particularly fond of, and knowing that made the Paladin’s gift so much more wonderful._

_"You're welcome...Guinevere," he said. He wanted to hear her name on his lips, since his next question might change things between them._

_"As far as the second matter goes, I wanted to make you a proposal. We had a lot thrown at us back there. Our op could have ended in disaster, but you kept your cool and handled it like a soldier. There's no doubt in my mind you've got what it takes. The way I see it, you've got a choice. You could spend the rest of your life wandering from place to place, trading a hand for a meagre reward...or...you could join the Brotherhood Of Steel and make your mark on the world. So...what do you say?"_

_Guinevere cradled his weapon in her arms and her eyes lit up. "I'd be honored to join," she whispered. “But I'm not sure what would be expected of me.”_

_There was something in her tone and her eyes that told him she genuinely wanted to please, an innocence about her that  
no doubt was due to the fact she came from a different place and time._

_“I only ask for two things from anyone under my command. Honesty and respect,” he said. “You fall in line, you stay in line. I give you an order, and you follow it. It's as simple as that.”_

_“Understood, Paladin,” agreed Guinevere._

_He suppressed the urge to smile widely. "That's what I wanted to hear! Let's get back to the police station and go over the details." He moved off at a slow jog._

_"Excuse me, Paladin Danse?" She called after him._

_He turned. "Yes, soldier?"_

_She held up the gun. "I think you need to show me how this works!"_

Haylen laughed. "Just like that! Tell me again how you don't like her!"

"I never said I didn't like her, Scribe. You asked me if I thought she was pretty. In fact it wasn't even posed as a question."

Haylen pretended to write something on her note pad. "Hmm what color are her eyes?"

Without missing a beat Danse answered "green".

"And mine?" She asked, grinning.

Danse looked over at her. "I...don't...I don't know."

Haylen chuckled. "And we've served together for how long?" She met his eyes and saw a deep realization there. She didn't just consider him her commanding officer, but also her friend. And her friend had been lonely for a long time and she was happy he found someone he just might be interested in.

Danse leaned back in his chair. "She's different from anyone I've ever met. A bright spot in a dark world." He looked off in the distance for a moment, then sat up and shook his head. "However, she's a Brotherhood Initiate and under my command, so our relationship will remain professional."

"There's no regulation forbidding personal relationships between members," she reminded him.

"That may be, but there are unwritten rules of decorum that must be observed."

Haylen sighed and stood up. "Goodnight, Paladin sir," she said.

Danse nodded. "Goodnight Scribe."

He laced his hands behind his head, leaned back once more and looked at what he'd written.

_Her name is Guinevere._

 


	3. Helping Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere and RJ run some missions to help out the Brotherhood. Both Guinevere and Danse become aware of their mutual attraction. Rhys' hostility gets him in a bit of trouble with RJ.

* * *

Guinevere was preparing breakfast when RJ sauntered into the room. “Hey, good lookin’” he sang. “Whatcha got cookin’?” He grabbed her hand and twirled her around. “How about cookin’ somethin’ up with me?”

Guinevere laughed, and Hancock appeared in the doorway.

“Looking to replace Magnolia at the Rail?” He asked.

“If the pay’s good, I'm all over it!” Replied RJ, releasing Guinevere.

“Smells good in here,” sniffed the former Mayor.

“It’s almost ready. Take a seat, guys,” smiled Guinevere.

RJ eagerly sat down, then he spied her pack and gear on her bed. “Where we going today beautiful?” He asked.

Guinevere shook her head. “ _ I'm _ going back to the police station to see what else Paladin Danse needs help with. Don't know what you two are doing.”

RJ scoffed. “Him and his fancy armor can't get his own sh...stuff...done?”

Guinevere sighed. “It has nothing to do with ability. We went through this already RJ. Knight Rhys is injured. Scribe Haylen isn't a combatant. She's a medic. Someone needs to stay and handle things at the base. I'm the only one right now who can get things done for them!”

“Well I’m coming with you. In case you need me.”

“RJ I don't need a babysitter. I can handle myself fine out there.” She regretted the words as soon as they left her lips. The disappointment in his eyes washed over her like a blanket of guilt. They had always travelled together since the day they met and made a good team. Plus,having someone at your back was never a bad deal. She realized with shame that she didn't want him along because she hoped to spend time with the Paladin.  _ What’s wrong with me _ ? She thought.  _ Paladin Danse is my commanding officer now _ . 

“You’re right RJ,” she relented. “Let’s eat first then head out.”

“Now you’re talkin’!” He quipped happily.

Hancock saw them off and mentioned that he'd be returning to Goodneighbor to check in on his people for a few days. Codsworth fed Dogmeat and promised he'd hold down the fort with the canine just fine.

* * *

“It’s good to see you again soldier.” Paladin Danse made a few adjustments to his power armor, stood up and wiped his hands of the oil that stained them. “I’m hoping our transmission will be received soon. I’ll be recommending you for a promotion to Knight and get you outfitted properly with your own power armor.”

Guinevere looked surprised. “Power armor? Me? I'm not sure I could manage that! Do I  _ have _ to wear it?”

Danse was surprised for the opposite reason. “Once you try it I assure you you’ll never want to enter combat without it. You’ll feel like you can take on the world in there!”

“Is it regulation?”

“It isn't but we strongly encourage it. The protection it affords is superior to anything else out there. Your personal suit will be made to fit you, and after that it's your responsibility to maintain and modify it. Once the Prydwen arrives I'll see to it immediately.”

“What’s the Prydwen?” She asked curiously.

Danse seemed to swell with pride. “The Prydwen is our airship! Just wait until you see her, soldier!” 

His excitement was palpable and it made her smile. “I'm sure I'll be impressed!”

Knight Rhys wandered around the corner. He scowled when he saw Guinevere. “Great. Back for more handouts? Was getting used to you being gone.”

Danse affixed him with a hard glare. “Unacceptable, Knight!” 

Rhys withered slightly and Guinevere saw that Danse’s opinion meant a lot to him.

“Like it or not,” said Danse. “You’ll have to learn to work together.”

“Yes sir, Paladin sir,” said Rhys. Suddenly he looked up towards the doors and drew his weapon. “That’s far enough, asshole!” He shouted.

RJ held his hands up. “Woah there! I'm here with Guinny! Relax buddy!”

Rhys gave a barking laugh and pointed at Guinevere. “Tell me again how you’re not a merc! And I’m not your buddy!” He snarked harshly at RJ.

“Stand down Knight!” Demanded Danse. “That’s an order!”

Rhys complied, putting away his weapon, but he scowled even harder at RJ. “I'm right about the merc thing Top! I know this guy. He runs with the Gunners! If they’re together she’s one too!”

Danse turned to Guinevere. “Care to explain, Initiate?”

Guinevere didn't like Rhys’ constant hostility towards her. She wanted to stand up to him but she was the new recruit, the  _ greenhorn  _ as Nate used to call them, and she didn't want to rock the boat. She stepped to RJ and lay a hand on his shoulder. “This is RJ MacCready. He’s my friend. It’s true he used to be a Gunner but that’s over with.”

Danse nodded. “Very well. But as your guest you’re responsible for him while he’s in the compound.”

Guinevere nodded.

Rhys bristled. “Come on Top! You’re trusting  _ her _ to look out for  _ him?  _ That’s like... _ ” _

_ “ _ Knight,” said Danse evenly, cutting him off. “I'd like you to go out back and bring in another ammo crate.  _ Now.” _

Knight Rhys turned and stalked away.

RJ watched him depart, his eyes narrowed. “Guinny, I gotta go take a leak. Be right back.”

Danse stepped over to her. “Knight Rhys hasn’t had an easy time out here. He doesn't handle himself appropriately when he feels stressed. I know it’s not an excuse and he’s working on it but I want you to know he’s a good soldier and he  _ will _ have your back when required. Now, we were discussing the Prydwen, weren’t we?”

* * *

Outside, RJ quickly found Rhys. Cocking his gun, he pointed it at the back of the Knight’s head. Rhys stood up and turned, the barrel inches from his face. He opened his mouth to speak but RJ cut him off.

“Uh uh. You’re gonna shut up and listen. So you know I used to run with the Gunners and that means you know how they operate. You piss one off, they take off your head. Right now I got this gun pointed at  _ yours _ and you got nothing. So. I don't give a damn what you think of  _ me  _ but I'm asking you one question. Is  _ she _ gonna have a problem with you? Because if she does, you’ll have one with me, and I’m a  _ big _ ass problem to have. Got it?”

“You asshole mercs are all the same,” scowled Rhys.

RJ shrugged. “Probably. But Guinny isn't one. Still waitin’ on your answer jarhead.”

“No, she’s not.”

RJ lowered his weapon. “Alright then.” He turned to go but heard the crunch of gravel and he spun, ducking out of the way as Rhys attacked him. “Seriously?” He cried. “Are we doing this?”

Rhys let out a string of expletives as his attack failed but he was injured and angry which wasn't a good combo. RJ elbowed him hard in the gut and as the Knight bent double the mercenary thumped him hard on the back of his neck, dropping him to his knees.

“See, you Brotherhood guys are all the same too. Useless without your tin cans and fancy guns. I’ll say it one last time. You treat Guinny right and you and I aren't gonna have an issue.” 

This time he walked away, leaving Rhys to seethe in private.

* * *

Guinevere and Danse were going over the power armor. He was trying to teach her the bits and pieces that formed the suit and she was repeating him. 

“So Guinny are we gonna do something?” RJ asked. “Not making any caps sitting around here.”

“Yes,” she replied. “We’re going to help Haylen by retrieving some tech from a local factory. As soon as she gives up the map we’ll be going.”

“Anything to drink in here?” He asked. “Bourbon, Tequila, Wine? I'm not picky.”

“A Brotherhood soldier doesn’t partake of liquor,” responded Danse.

“Glad  _ I'm _ not one then,” quipped RJ.

“You can find some purified water in the room behind me,” pointed Danse.

“This is a real lively place you got here,” RJ commented, as he wandered down the hall. “Yep. Party central.”

“Is he always so...undisciplined?” Asked Danse.

“RJ is RJ,” she grinned. “He likes to have...fun. Best way to describe him I think.”

“And you trust him to have your back?”

She nodded. “Without question.”

“Alright then.” He watched her as she collected ammo for her rifle. Danse didn't want her to go without him. He wished to suit up and lead the mission...but not for the usual reason. He felt a surge of protectiveness for the golden haired Initiate and he couldn’t explain it. _ You've had many soldiers under your command _ , he thought.  _ Both men and women of differing abilities and you've never felt this way before _ . He pushed the thoughts away. She had the mercenary with her and she trusted him. She’d be fine.

Guinevere finished her preparations and smiled warmly at him. Danse gave her a smile back, albeit a small, restrained one. 

“Are you feeling confident in the use of the rifle?” He asked.

“I hope so!” She laughed. “If not I’ve got my trusty little 10mm with me too!”

“Always have a backup. Glad you picked up on that. Good luck out there, soldier. I’ll show you how to write up mission reports when you return.” He handed her the map Haylen had placed on the desk.

“Alright,” she chirped and headed out.

* * *

“Ok,” said RJ as he caught up to her. “I gotta ask and I'm afraid of the answer, but...why did tinman call you Initiate?”

Guinevere sighed. She knew they’d have to have the talk sooner or later. “Because I decided to join them.”

“Guinny! Are you kidding me?  _ They’re _ not the good guys!”

“Then who is, RJ? The Institute? The Railroad? The Minutemen? Everyone  _ says _ they are and everyone has their own agenda! I joined with the Brotherhood because I believe in their cause!”

He stopped walking and grabbed her arm, turning her. “You believe what their spin doctor told you! They aren't what you think, believe me!’ His eyes filled with a mixture of fear and concern.  “What’s this gonna mean for us? For me and Hancock? You moving in here with them?”

Guinevere wanted to be angry but his expression stopped her. “I'm not moving in here. And I'm not leaving the Commonwealth. I might need to be away on longer missions but home is with you guys. Ok?”

RJ  _ looked _ pacified but he shook his head. “Eventually you’re gonna have to go. Military is all about units. Can't have your soldiers all over the damn place.”

She looked down at the cracked earth and kicked at a rock. “I don't know what’s going to happen in the future RJ. I just feel that spending my days scavving isn't a productive life. I see how people live, scraping together a living while raiders, super mutants and the Institute just take whatever they want from anyone, even their lives. Even the Minutemen and the Railroad just work on survival. I want more than that. You never knew the world before the bomb. I did. And I want it back. I feel the Brotherhood can do that. Can you understand? Even a little?”

He looked downcast, considering a future without her, and it terrified him but there was nothing he could do. “I get it, what you’re saying. But I wish you hadn’t picked  _ these _ guys.”

She linked her arm with his. “Let’s go. Who knows what kind of cool stuff we’ll find today. Maybe that Bourbon you like so much.”

* * *

The tech retrieval mission proved a bit difficult. There was no way for Haylen to have known that the entrance had been caved in by a bomb and that raiders had set up camp all around it. Guinevere hadn’t felt too positive when they saw what they were up against.

RJ took a hit that injured his leg and she hadn’t been able to reach him with a stimpak. He dragged himself into a clump of underbrush and gave her supportive fire. Danse’s rifle was powerful and Guinevere was grateful to have it. Her little revolver wouldn't have been able to get the task done.

Once the raiders were cleared enough for her to tend to RJ, they snuck inside and hoped the indoor layout was still accurate. Haylen used original blueprints to make her maps but the post war world had changed drastically. This gave every mission an added element of risk. However, Guinevere liked the feeling of working towards a real goal.

Thankfully, they found the items they came for with only slight resistance from a few of the raiders they couldn’t sneak past. RJ found three bottles of beer but nothing too exciting. He drank them all on the way back.

It was growing darker by the time they returned to the police station. Haylen and Rhys were playing cards at a small table. 

“Initiate Stanton!” The medic cried when she saw her. “Are you ok? How did it go?”

Guinevere wearily set her pack down and pulled out the requested items. “We took some hits but it was nothing a stimpak couldn’t handle. Here’s the tech you wanted. I hope it helps, Scribe Haylen.”

“Thank you! It will definitely help! Oh and please call me Amanda. At least when we’re alone.”

“I'd rather be called Guin myself. You don't think Paladin Danse will object?”

Haylen laughed. “He comes off as super formal but once you get to know him he’s really not that bad. He’s a good man, Guin. I consider him a friend as well as my commanding officer. He’s earned my respect. I hope in time you’ll feel the same way.”

Guinevere smiled and looked away. “I already do to be honest. I mean respect him. He’s very dedicated.” She looked around. “Where is he?”

Haylen pointed to a door in the back. “Checking the ordnance. You can go check in with him.”

Haylen noticed the sudden flush that appeared on Guinevere’s cheeks and the way she tried to hold back a smile.  _ She likes him _ ! She thought with amusement. _ And he likes her too _ . _ The trick will be getting him past his self imposed protocols _ . 

Guinevere found him amidst the containers of ammo. “Excuse me, Paladin Danse?”

He turned to her and Guinevere noticed his eyes brightened just for a moment. It made her happy that he seemed glad to see her. Danse put down his clipboard. 

“Initiate Stanton, I'm pleased to see you’ve returned intact. Was the mission a success?”

She nodded. “It was. I handed the items over to Scribe Haylen.”

“Outstanding!” He exclaimed. “Any injuries to report?”

“Nothing a stimpak couldn’t handle.”

“It’s too late for you to return home, and I'm sure you’d rather rest than prepare a report. You and MacCready are welcome to spend the night here. In the morning I’ll instruct you on the reports then you and I will do some other training.”

She hoped he didn't see the over eager delight on her face but he did. As always, Danse attributed it to her belief in the cause.

“I'm pleased to see such enthusiasm, soldier. Follow me and we’ll get you set up for the night.”

Guinevere watched as he dragged up two cots and blankets from somewhere in the station. He showed her where the food stores were, then let her settle in.

RJ wasn't thrilled with having to stay there, but the alternative, travelling at night, was far worse. He lay back on the cot. “I’d kill for a drink right now. Come to think of it, I have!”

“Now  _ there’s _ a story for a rainy day!” Laughed Guinevere. 

She lay on her own cot listening to Haylen and Rhys playing cards and talking. RJ tossed out the occasional comment before he fell asleep and she did the same not long after.

Guinevere awoke in the wee hours to locate the chamber pot. She was returning to her cot when she ran into Paladin Danse on the stairs.

“I...I'm sorry Paladin. I hope I didn't wake you!” 

He looked down at her and his entire expression softened. “Not at all, soldier. I often make rounds during the night. I've learned not to sleep much.”

“It must be hard for you, having all these people under your command, looking out for them all. I'm glad I'm here to help you out.” Her voice was soft, and in the very pale light, with her slightly disheveled hair and sleepy eyes, she seemed ethereally beautiful to him. 

Danse sank down onto the stairs and ran his hands through his hair. “We’ve not had many good run ins with the locals here,” he said. “The scenario Rhys described the other day actually happened.”

Guinevere sat down as well, near enough to feel his body heat and she felt strangely comforted by it, by this man she barely knew but felt drawn to.

“Someone tried to kill you in your sleep?”

“Not me, Rhys. Mercenary we paid to fight off a wave of super mutants. Filled his pockets, then tried to kill Rhys on his way out. I caught him during one of these night rounds. The others we encountered were just plain thieves. After that, strangers in the compound make us wary. I hope you don't take offense to that. It will take time for trust to develop between us all. Rhys aside, please know both Haylen and I have no problem with you. He’ll come around in time as well.”

Guinevere picked at the cuffs of her jacket. “I'm not offended. I understand. It’s a bad world now.”

Danse was silent a moment, then softly he asked. “What was it like, the world before the wars?” Here was an opportunity to hear first hand, about a time that had held fascination for him as far back as he could recall.

She smiled, and her eyes took on a distant look. “Imagine grass. Lush thick green blades carpeting everywhere you look. Trees with branches covered in foliage swaying and rustling in the breeze. In the fall, some of the green ones would change color to bright red, orange and yellow. We had flowers. Bright colors and fragrances that carried on the wind. If you went to the coast the ocean would reflect the color of the sky.  There were fantastic animals, insects and birds. Have you ever seen a butterfly? Delicate gossamer wings, colored in every way imaginable, fluttering from flower to flower to drink the sweet nectar inside. Oh, how I miss butterflies, Paladin. Ever so much.”

She looked up at him, her eyes brimming with tears. “That’s why I'm here,” she whispered, as they crept from her eyes. “Because I want that world back again.”

Danse wanted to reach out and brush her tears away, take her in his arms and promise her he would fix everything and make it alright again but he knew it would be completely inappropriate to do so, and such a promise impossible to uphold.

Embarrassed by her tears, Guinevere wiped them away herself and stood up. “It’s late, and I'm over emotional when I’m tired. I'm sorry Paladin. I'll see you in the morning.”

Upstairs on his cot, RJ had heard their conversation. He had been touched by her words and pulled his cot quietly up against hers. When she came back and lay down, he reached out and silently took her hand. 

* * *

In the morning Guinevere washed up and reported to Paladin Danse. He showed her how to prepare field reports and she made one for the mission she undertook with RJ the day before.

When that was completed, he took her out back to the shooting range he had set up. There was a physical training obstacle course as well, and they spent some time going through it. 

Guinevere liked the flat piece of ground that had once been a road, and she showed Danse cartwheels, walkovers and flips.

“Try it!” She encouraged. “It’s fun!”

“I have no desire to hurl myself about that way,” declared Danse. “It would serve no purpose on the battlefield. And training for war shouldn’t be fun.”

“I respectfully disagree,” replied Guinevere. “Even if the objective isn't exactly a positive thing, the preparations can be. I like doing things like obstacle courses.”

Danse raised his eyebrows. “So you’ve done them before?”

She nodded, and he saw there was a lot more she wasn't ready to talk about. He was filled with curiosity about her, but in no way was he going to pry. She would hopefully open up one day and he would get a greater insight into her. Danse liked knowing who his team was, their likes and dislikes and what motivated or demotivated them. It would be an interesting journey of discovery. He hoped that Guinevere would decide to stay on once she saw the Prydwen and met Elder Arthur Maxson. The Elder could appear quite hard and intimidating on first contact and despite her skill and heart, Guinevere was gentle and sensitive. He hoped she wouldn't be put off. 

“Initiate Stanton,” he said. “I would like to apologize for last night.”

“I don't understand, Paladin. You don't have anything to be sorry for.”

He looked contrite. “I believe I do. If I had known that it would upset you, I’d never have asked you what I did. I allowed my curiosity to take precedence. I’m sorry.”

Guinevere was touched by his sensitivity. She hadn’t been upset by his questions. On the contrary it meant he was curious about her and wanted to learn more. “I was actually quite happy to talk about it. If we don't ask each other questions, how else will we get to know each other?”

“You make a valid point. However I'm still sorry I upset you.”

She smiled at him and accepted his apology, then both of them were quiet, reflecting on their own thoughts.

“Paladin, can we do some more shooting?” Her request drew him back to the moment. 

“Of course, Initiate. Afterwards I'd like to discuss a possible mission. It’s something of a more personal nature, and once you hear about it I’m hoping you’ll agree to help me out.”

Her eyes were warm as she smiled. “I don't need to hear it to know I’ll try to help you.”

“I greatly appreciate that,” he said softly.

* * *

Guinevere and RJ ran another short mission, this time for Knight Rhys. Danse said his request could wait and let Rhys place his request. Surprisingly he had been the one to approach her and asked, rather politely, for help. A location had been overrun by feral ghouls and the Brotherhood was considering it as a potential outpost. Guinevere agreed without any hesitation and Rhys even thanked her. 

RJ finally found his Bourbon plus two bottles of Vodka. He also unearthed a large amount of ammo.

“I think I’m supposed to leave things behind and mark the place for a sweep and retrieve,” she said as her friend loaded his pockets and his pack.

“You know what I say to that,” laughed RJ.

“I figured as much! I don't care RJ. Take what you want. We need to survive too.”

“That’s a relief. Was worried you’d get all stuffy and boring like your tinman.”

She frowned at him. “Why do you say he's stuffy and boring? He's not at all!”

RJ blinked. “Guinny, really? The guy is all emotionless! He's like a walking rulebook. _A_ _ brotherhood soldier doesn't partake of alcohol."  _ He did his best imitation and started laughing. “Oh man I almost laughed in his face when I heard that!”

“He’s a career soldier! Military wouldn't function without rules. My father and Nate were career too.”

“Guess that's why you like these guys then. But I’ll never get it.”

They returned to the station and she reported back to Rhys who was impressed. He wasn't sure they would have been able to clear the entire location. Then she did her report while RJ sat on the counter, drinking his Bourbon. Rhys glowered at him. RJ held up his bottle.

“You got something you wanna say to me, jarhead?” He asked.

Rhys didn't say a word and walked away.

Guinevere went looking for Danse when she had completed her report and exacted a promise from RJ that he wouldn't antagonize Rhys. She found Danse's clipboard in the store room and picked it up. His handwriting was clear and neat and she ran her fingers across it, feeling the indentation in the paper. It was like touching a part of him. 

Danse returned to the store room and was surprised to see her there. He observed her for a few moments wondering what she was doing but he needed to speak to her. “Knight Rhys told me you had another success. Excellent work, Initiate. Could we speak on the matter I mentioned earlier?”

Startled, she put the clipboard down. “Paladin Danse! Hi! I...actually...if it's not a time sensitive issue could I come back in a few days? I need to check in at home. My bot is looking after my dog.”

“Very well. It can wait. Will you be leaving right away?”

She nodded. “Yes, if that’s ok?”

“Affirmative. I'll see you in a few days. Be safe soldier.”

After she’d left, Danse wandered to the room she had stayed in. He sat on the cot and noticed Guinevere had forgotten her hair ribbon. It was old and frayed but the green color was still evident. Danse held it gently, running his fingers along it’s length as he would her hair, were it possible.

Then he smiled. In his book he remembered how a lady would bestow her favor upon a Knight when he went into battle. It was often a handkerchief or a ribbon.

_ Lady Guinevere _ , he thought fondly, and placed it in his pocket.


	4. The Lost Patrol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere and RJ take on Paladin Danse's personal mission. RJ makes a confession to her, and Guinevere's interest in the stalwart Paladin grows but his hot-cold mannerism confuses her.

* * *

It was more than a few days before Guinevere was able to return. Their own food stores were nearly depleted, and she, RJ, Hancock and Dogmeat had to go on a few scavving runs.  They had run ins with too many raiders, but the positive aspect of that was being able to take all the spoils of victory.

RJ had laid claim to an entire crate of liquor. “Suppose you tell us how you’re going to get that home,” said Hancock.

“Push, pull and drag it but no way am I leaving it behind. We need a Brahmin Guinny,” said RJ.

She wrinkled up her nose. “I'm not a farm girl type. I'd have no clue what to do with one. Do you guys? RJ didn’t you say that you and Lucy had a farm?”

RJ shrugged. “We only had plants. Never managed to attract a Brahmin. How hard can it be? All the traders have ‘em.”

Hancock shook his head and popped an orange Mentat. 

Guinevere looked around. “Well until we figure that out, let’s find a cart or something to make it easier. This ammo box needs to come too. And the cartons of cigarettes Hancock found. This plus all the food we found the other day will keep us situated for awhile.”

“I’ve got a lot in my storeroom too, doll,” reminded the ghoul. 

“I know Hancock but you have wayward settlers coming in to Goodneighbor all the time that need it more. The four of us are easily able to go scavving.”

“You’ve got such a big heart my girl,” he responded with a smile.

In the end, they rigged up a sled with casters to drag it all home. It was a difficult trek with much irritation when a wheel fell off and the contents tumbled, but they had some laughs and managed just the same.

Guinevere had the guys put the items away while she started dinner. “I’ll be leaving early in the morning to go back to the police station. Paladin Danse had a special mission he wanted to discuss with me.”

“I’ll be ready!” Called RJ.

“You know you don't always need to come with me.”

“Yeah I do,” he stated quite firmly.

“I’d tag along,” said Hancock. “But the Brotherhood isn't overly fond of ghouls. Even charismatic ones like myself!”

Guinevere shook her head. “I've never heard any of them say anything bad about ghouls. You’re just people. And  _ you’re _ my family. I won't give you guys up for anyone.”

Hancock wrapped his arms around her. “You’re one-of-a-kind, sunshine,” he said gently. “If everyone had a heart like yours the world would be a great place. But it's not that way. I’ll keep the home fires burning. Me and old Dogmeat.”

Codsworth floated past. “And don't forget about me, Mistress Guinevere! I'll keep everyone safe!”

She smiled. “I could never forget about you Codsworth!”   
  


* * *

RJ walked into the station behind Guinevere and purposefully sat down where Rhys could see him. The Knight avoided eye contact and made a pretense of repairing his jumpsuit.

“You party animals get a good stash of spirits yet?” asked RJ.

Haylen shook her head. “It’s against regulations to drink alcohol while we’re on duty.”

“Alright but at night we can pour a few rounds and have us a game of poker?”

Haylen nodded. “Within reason, yes.”

RJ indicated Rhys. “Good. Kinda curious how badly the big guy there can lose to me. Might win the clothes off his back and he’ll have to do his shift in his skivvies!” 

Guinevere poked RJ in the head. “Quit it,” she said. “Or I’ll leave you home next time.”

He turned and looked up at her and saw she wasn't even remotely upset with him. He grinned playfully.

Guinevere excused herself to find Paladin Danse. He was outside running laps. She sat down on a rock wall and watched him with appreciation. The Paladin certainly was at the peak of physical conditioning. He wore standard army green pants and a black t-shirt which clung to his body and showed off his finely tuned muscles. His dog tags bounced on his chest when he stopped to go through the obstacle course and he tucked them into his shirt before resuming his workout. He didn't see her until he turned back towards the building and gave her a wave. It was an informal gesture and it surprised Guinevere.

“Nice to see you, Initiate Stanton!” He called out, jogging over. 

“It’s good to be back. How have you been?”

He wanted to say how much he’d missed her. Guinevere’s smile and exuberance was infectious and when she wasn't present it was felt by him especially. But he felt it wouldn't be right to say such a thing. It was too personal. 

“I've been well. Still waiting to hear from the Prydwen. She must be further away than we thought. I'm eager to get you aboard! But for now, i'd like to discuss that personal mission, if you’re still willing to hear me out?”

She smiled. “That’s why I'm here. I promised I'd try and help you.”

Danse hopped up on the rockwall beside her. 

“My recon team wasn't the first to be sent to the Commonwealth. Over the years, the Brotherhood has actually sent several. The last squad went in three years ago. They never reported back. Officially, they're missing, presumed dead.”

Guinevere’s eyes widened. “Oh no! That’s terrible! Was there a rescue mission?”

Danse shook his head. “No. The Brotherhood didn't have the resources or the manpower to conduct a search like that. Everyone who signs up for a recon mission knows the risks. Our lives depend on our training and on each other. But if a team is lost, we honor those who give their lives in the line of duty. Having said that, we have a responsibility to find out what happened to them if we can.”

Guinevere heard the sadness in his voice. “Three years is a long time, but I’ll do it. I’ll try to find out what happened. Can you give me an idea where to start looking?”

Danse met her eyes. “Thank you. Their insertion point was the hills near Malden. Are you familiar with the area?”

She nodded. “Yes, I am.” That was the area that housed the MedTek building where she had helped RJ find the medication for his son.

“Survey the area and establish a search pattern. Monitor the radio on your pip-boy for distress signals. All recon teams are issued distress pulsers that put out a short range homing beacon. If you can acquire a signal, you should be able to trace it to a source.”

“Alright. I'll be gone for quite awhile. Those distances are vast.”

Danse’s expression softened. “You can say no to this. It's not an order.”

“I wouldn't dream of it! I'll give it my best shot, Paladin.”

“You’ll have MacCready with you? And your dog?”

She shook her head. “I didn’t bring my dog but RJ will be with me.”

Paladin Danse got off the wall and brought his arm across his chest in the Brotherhood salute. “Ad Victorium soldier. I’ll see you when you return. Take whatever you want from the storage for both of you.”

Guinevere returned the salute.

* * *

“So where are we going?” Asked RJ curiously. “Getting more tech? Wasting some freaks and raiders?”

“We’re heading to the area around MedTek to look for a lost recon team. They disappeared three years ago.”

“That’s a long damn time. I'm doubtful we’ll even find a skeleton. The wastes are pretty harsh Guinny.”

Guinevere agreed. “I know and I feel the same. But I promised him I'd try. Even a small clue could give some closure. And as always we can scav.”

They found precious little to pick up on the long 4 hour walk. As always RJ started singing and Guinevere let him. He had a nice voice and she wondered if he would have pursued a musical career if he had been born in the time before the bomb fell. Listening to him brought back memories and although some made her feel nostalgic and wistful it helped the time pass quicker.

Guinevere turned on her radio as they neared the area. A slow, deep blip made itself known. “16% strength,” she said.

RJ looked at the screen. “What exactly is that?”

Guinevere explained the pulser beacon to him. 

“So it’s gonna beep faster the closer we get? That’s some cool tech. You should wear one so I can always find you.”

“Do you really worry about me that much RJ?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I do.”

She gave him a smile and moved ahead of him. What looked like a small town came into view. She paused and RJ stopped a few steps ahead and held his arm out to halt her. 

“Wait, Guinny,” he whispered. “Pretty quiet here. That usually means something's about to go very wrong.”

He was right. It was the kind of quiet that usually exploded. RJ raised his weapon and turned the safety off. Guinevere followed suit and crouched down. RJ crept forward.

“Yep I think we have company!” he said.

No sooner had he spoken the words when two feral ghouls rose up from behind a building.

“Yeaaarhg!” Yelled RJ and opened fire. 

The din from their weapons awoke other ferals who had been lying inert. They stood and half stumbled, half ran at Guinevere and RJ, who fired round after round into them. 

Guinevere was knocked down by one and shot it through the head, but it fell on her making her squeal. The smell of them up close was revolting. Struggling out from under it, she scrambled backwards, still holding her rifle. 

“You ok?” Called RJ, letting loose another round.

“Yes! I'm fine!” She popped in another fusion cell and vaporized the rest of the ferals.

As they approached the MedTek building, RJ looked appreciatively at Guinevere. “I've got fond memories of this place. I’ll never be able to repay you.”

“RJ you’ve repaid me 100 times over already. You’re my best friend.”

_ And you’re my love _ , he thought sadly.  _ Maybe one day I’ll have the guts to tell you. Just glad that party animal tinman won't make a move on you _ . 

“You bet, gorgeous,” he said.

The signal on Guinevere’s pip-boy started bleeping higher and quicker, but slowed again as they approached the doors. She turned away and went past the building, which excited the signal again. An old ruined white Corvega sat on the remains of the road. 

“Was it cool Guinny? Having a car? What was driving like?”

She stopped and looked at the vehicle. “We had one like this. A Corvega sedan. It was green. Well...driving was really fun. You could get to places so fast! It would take minutes to get to where it takes us days now. But they were dangerous too RJ. People got into accidents and sometimes killed each other. I miss the fun parts of it though.”

“We should fix one up. Probably can't drive it but it would look cool as hell sitting there at home.”

She liked the idea. “I think that would be pretty fun. Although I've got no clue how to work on cars.”

“Seeing as it won't be going anywhere I don't think it matters. Hell we could duct tape it all together if we wanted to!”

That made her laugh. “That’s true! Well we can start looking for one near home then. In the meantime let’s get onto this signal.”

The sound grew stronger.  The ruined remains of a house showed up at the top of a slight rise. The signal began bleeping in earnest.

“This must be it. 90% strength!”

As they entered the ruin, she sighed in dismay at the sight before her. Leaning up against a desk, quite deceased, was a Brotherhood soldier in a power armor frame. The mostly dessicated remains still wore the jumpsuit, and his dog tags were visible beneath the metal frame. Guinevere knelt and carefully removed the tags.  _ Knight Varham _ . Clutched in his gloved hand was a holotape.

“I'm sorry brother,” she said softly. Opening up her pip-boy she inserted the recording.

Static crackled, making the first few words impossible to hear. There seemed to be several voices on the recording and the sounds of gunfire.

_ First voice: ...ambushed on the road. We're outnumbered five to one! _ __   
_ Second voice: Core's down to 5%! _ _   
_ __ First voice: We'll have to scuttle the armor. We can't let them have it-!

_ Third voice (female): Varham! _ _   
_ _ First voice: Dammit! Astlin, set the self-destructs! Faris, fall back! We'll head for the old military base, then try to make it to our holdout. The code will be our callsign. All right, move! Move! Move _ !

A massive explosion could be heard right before the tape ended. 

RJ tugged on her sleeve. “Guinny check it out. It's a massive crater. Those suits pack one hell of a punch!”

She turned and saw what he was looking at. There was evidence of melted metal sticking out of the charred ground, the Brotherhood insignia still visible on one of the suit remains.

“Let’s get back and report in. Danse will want to know about this,” she said.

It was 10pm when they returned. RJ had been jittery the entire time once darkness fell, but luckily nothing attacked them.

“As much as I'm not a fan of party central here,” quipped RJ. “It's a damn sight better than still being out  _ there _ in the dark. Be perfect if tinman had something good to drink in there but I'd settle for anything right now.”

“I'm exhausted,” sighed Guinevere. “We’ve been going non-stop since this morning, and who knows where we’ll be headed tomorrow. At this point though I feel invested in this mission.”

RJ held the door open for her.

Paladin Danse was sitting in a chair, legs outstretched. His face lit up when he saw Guinevere. “I've been worried about you!” He exclaimed. “Is everything alright?” He stood and took her pack from her and pulled a chair out. RJ wandered to the storage room as she sat down.

“It was a lot of travelling Paladin,” she said wearily. “Tracking that pulser signal was a challenge. But I've got something to share with you about our findings.”

“Allow me to get you something to eat and drink first.” 

Guinevere was surprised by the gesture and she waited until he returned with a plate of cut up mutfruit and a container of purified water. She thanked him and attacked the fruit with pleasure, the sweetness of the juice energizing her. Mutfruit reminded her of a cross between a plum and a pear. She’d eaten both sour and sweet ones depending on the soil they were grown in. She drank the water thirstily, all the while conscious of the Paladin’s dark eyes watching her.  She hoped she wasn't being too ravenous but neither she nor RJ had eaten more than a few sticks of dried meat and a trail mix of nuts all day.

“I would feel better if you took more adequate rations on your missions, soldier. Allowing yourself to function undernourished and dehydrated is detrimental to your success.”

RJ returned and pulled up a chair. “What the hell did you just say there tinman?” He laughed. “Need a goddamn dictionary to understand you!” He had found some canned meat, an ear of cooked corn and a few small tatoes. To his delight, there was also a bottle of Gwinnett Stout someone must have forgotten about.

“Paladin Danse wants me to eat better,” said Guinevere.

“Home is where all the good eats are,” the mercenary said before digging into his meal and falling silent.

Danse waited patiently for her to finish her fruit. “Initiate, please tell me what you discovered today.” 

“The recon team was ambushed,” she began, and placed the holotape and the dog tags on the table. “They scuttled their own power armor to keep it from being captured. There were only three survivors.”

Paladin Danse’s expression grew sombre. “What a loss. But... they did what they had to do. Our technology must be protected, no matter the cost.”

He took the holotape to his computer and played it. “This is quite hard to listen to,” he said solemnly. “But I believe they were referring to the National Guard training yard. We all have the same points of interest on our maps to keep things consistent. While there are other military establishments around, this one was specifically chosen as a defensible place for the Brotherhood. I think it should be your next destination.” 

Guinevere nodded tiredly. “Paladin, I'd like to get washed up and go to bed. The yard is many hours away so we need an early start in the morning.”

Danse nodded. “Thank you for your report, soldier. Sleep well.”

* * *

Morning came swiftly but thankfully Guinevere had had a good night’s rest. RJ was up before her and was drinking coffee. 

“Mornin’ beautiful!” He chirped.

“Good morning RJ. You seem happy. Did you have a good night?”

“I got to sleep next to you. Of course it was good!” He poured her a cup.

“You were on the other side of the room!” She laughed.

“Still counts! So tinman packed your bag for you.”

Puzzled, Guinevere saw it sitting by the door practically bulging.  “Did he say why?”

Danse appeared around the corner. “To ensure that my newest soldier meets the proper nutritional quota for a day in the field.”

RJ started laughing.  _ “Nutritional quota _ ! Who talks like this, seriously!”

Guinevere elbowed him, then smiled at Danse. She was touched at the gesture of concern. “Thank you, Paladin.”

The way he smiled back at her was different. It was warm and kind and stayed on his face longer than usual. She was struck once again by how handsome he was. Staring at Danse, she didn't hear RJ talking to her until he waved a hand in front of her face. She turned to him.

“Sorry RJ. What is it?”

“Zoning in on some Theta waves there? I asked if you are gonna eat before we go.”

She shook her head. “No but I'll take a mutfruit with me and eat as we walk.”

Danse walked over and picked up her pack. “Let me assist you with this, Initiate Stanton.” Guinevere looped the straps over her shoulders and fastened the supports across her waist and chest as he held it up. 

Watching them, RJ felt an irritation growing in his belly. The Paladin wasn't behaving poorly or inappropriately in any way, but something was irking the mercenary just the same. He turned abruptly for the door. “I’ll be outside having a smoke Guinny.”

“I don't believe MacCready is fond of this base,” observed Danse.

“RJ doesn't do well with rules and restrictions. He needs to feel unconfined in any way.”

Danse adjusted the straps on her pack. “Issues with commitment I'd gather. He didn't remain with the Gunners either.”

Guinevere turned to face him. “It’s definitely not a commitment issue. I hired him back in Goodneighbor a year ago. He ended up returning what I paid him but stuck with me just the same. RJ is a good man, Paladin. He left the Gunners because  _ they _ weren’t.”

“Understood,” responded Danse. He wanted to understand Guinevere and the mercenary’s relationship. At first he had figured it was a contract between them, but after seeing them interact he felt it was too familiar for such an arrangement but more than a basic friendship. Danse had always prided himself on his professionalism, but this time his thoughts squeezed out into a question before he could stop it.

“Are you...romantically involved?”

Guinevere’s eyes opened wide and Danse was suddenly ashamed of his lack of self control. “I'm sorry, Initiate,” he apologized. “That was an inappropriate question.” Danse turned away but Guinevere caught his arm.

“No, we aren’t. RJ is my best friend. To be honest, I consider him my family.”

Danse gazed into her eyes for a long moment, feeling the heat from her hand on his arm.  He had emotions going through him that were new and almost frightening. Since they’d met, Danse had caught himself thinking about her, worrying about her. He'd never had  _ anyone  _ occupy his mind the way Guinevere Stanton did. She was a curious mixture of softness and strength. Most wastelanders were hardened and cold, opportunistic and wary. The soft ones usually didn't make it. However, Guinevere had crawled out of the vault and not only survived, but thrived. She was an enigma.

Guinevere didn't remove her hand from his arm. “Paladin Danse? Please don't apologize for asking me questions. While some things might be painful for me to remember or talk about, I want to. I  _ need _ to. As long as you’re not uncomfortable with my reactions, I've got no problem shedding a few tears if need be.”

He reached across with his other hand and lay it over hers for a moment. “You are a remarkable woman, Guinevere Stanton.”

Her heart was racing impossibly fast. The warmth of his hand both excited and soothed her and she wished she could stop time to experience it unendingly. She was about to respond in kind to his comment when Haylen came in through the side door. She wasn't wearing her scribe’s hood, and her ginger hair was tied in a ponytail. Guinevere quickly dropped her hand but not before Haylen saw the gesture between them and suppressed a smile.

“Hi Guin!” She smiled, and acted like she hadn’t noticed a thing. “I beat Rhys bigtime on the shooting range. But he got me on the timed course.”

“Keep at it,” said Danse. “You’ll prevail if you remain diligent. You’re a good soldier, Haylen.”

“Thank you sir,” she said and headed upstairs.

Danse stepped away from Guinevere. “Good luck on your mission Initiate,” he said, his manner and expression once more returning to it’s usual formality.

She turned to the door but stopped. Without looking at him Guinevere said “I like it when you call me by my name.”

“Understood,” he responded. 

* * *

The National Guard training yard was another 5 hour trek across the wastes. RJ did most of the talking, Guinevere was lost in her own thoughts. She was almost stung by a bloodbug when her wandering brain failed to register the threat coming at her. Luckily RJ was in back and took care of it.

“Ok that’s the second time today you’ve been spaced out,” he complained. “You're gonna get hurt Guinny. What’s going on?”

She couldn’t tell him how she was feeling. To hear the words spoken aloud would make them real to her and she was feeling guilty about it.  Was it disloyal towards Nate in some way that she have feelings for someone else? She still loved him so much, but she’d accepted that he was gone. However when she thought about Paladin Danse it was usually accompanied by a pang of guilt. As long as it were in her mind, she could pretend the feelings weren't real.

“These insanely long treks we’ve been on have wiped me out, that's all.” 

RJ didn't truly believe her but neither could he force her to talk. “You know you can tell me anything right Guinny?”

“Of course I do. And you know the same goes for you.”

There was something unspoken in RJ’s eyes as she met them. He had often said that aside from his wife Lucy, no one had ever cared about him as much as Guinevere had. That had put down a strong foundation for their relationship and cemented their bond. But she often saw something in his eyes that told her there was something else on his mind but he just couldn't seem to get it out. As much of a smart mouth as he could be, there was a vulnerability in the mercenary that reared its head every now and then. This was one of those times. RJ reached out and took her hand and she gave him a reassuring squeeze.

It was a long walk but thankfully it wasn't a hot day. They stopped a few times to rest and eat some of the food Danse had packed. RJ joked that it was enough for an army and she reminded him that he ate enough for one. RJ refused to own up to it and said that Hancock was the family stomach. 

As they neared the area where the beacon could be picked up, Guinevere turned on the radio to scan for the distress signal. The training yard was a few hundred yards away when the pulser beacon signal sprang to life.

“Looks like Danse was right,” she said, taking out her weapon and checking the fusion cell count.

“I still believe everyone’s dead,” said RJ.

“I do too. I mean if they were alive at all they would have been reaching out.”

RJ refilled his ammo. “Then again they could have gone native.”

“Very true. But at least they’d be alive. Sadly if that’s the case we’d never know really. I just want to give Danse closure on this no matter what it turns out to be.”

“Did he know these guys?” Asked RJ.

Guinevere shrugged slightly. “No idea. He didn't tell me.”

They quietly entered the grounds. A crashed vertibird lay on a landing pad. A chainlink fence that had once surrounded the compound was destroyed and hanging in bits and pieces. There were concrete barricades in a few spots that showed someone had tried to fortify the place but it might have been at any time. There was no evidence of raiders or super mutants.

Something moved to their right and RJ fired. A feral ghoul fell to the ground. They braced themselves for another attack but none came.

“Where there’s one there’s more,” said Guinevere warily.

“Got that right.”

They came to the front entrance of the building. A few of the barricades stood at the base of the stairs leading up to the doors. Guinevere cautiously approached it and was about to step over when RJ suddenly grabbed her with a sharp yell and threw her to the ground behind the concrete structures, covering her with his own body. Seconds later there was an explosion of shrapnel.

RJ got up slowly, listening for activity. “You ok Guinny? Gotta be more careful about mines. Tinman’s slacking off on his training.”

“I didn't see or hear it,” said Guinevere getting shakily to her feet. RJ reached out and brushed some debris from her hair. “Might want to tie this back.”

“I can't. I lost my hair ribbon a few days ago.”

“I'll have to find you another one then. Let's head inside. I'll go first.”

The inside of the building was a wreck. The upper floors had crashed down and debris was everywhere. Ruined pictures hung on the walls and shattered showcases stood against the sides. Two tattered american flags guarded the opening to another room.

As they expected, a few feral ghouls activated and tried to attack but Guinevere vaporized them all in quick succession. 

“Woah! Remind me not to get on your bad side!” Laughed RJ.

“They scared me and I reacted!” she exclaimed.

There was evidence of someone having squatted in the place as there was a sleeping bag and a cooking station but it wasn't recent. Even the locked box that RJ found was empty. They split up to explore further but RJ never wandered too far from her.

“Uhh Guinny you might wanna come in here,” he called out from a side room.

She joined him in what had once been an office. An overturned desk lay in the middle of the room along with a few dead ferals. In the corner propped against the wall was a deceased soldier wearing a Brotherhood jumpsuit, just as dessicated as Knight Varham had been. The beacon was bleeping madly and she turned it off.

The dead soldier had been a woman and Guinevere carefully took her dog tags. “Knight Astlin. Sorry, sister,” she said softly. In the pocket of the suit she found a holotape and inserted it into the pip-boy. 

_ Knight Tara Astlin. Brotherhood of Steel Recon Team 429-Alpha. Serial number 3431. It's been three hours since I set my distress pulser. There's been no word from the Paladin or Faris. Their objective was the satellite array on the coast. They may be out of range. My orders were to hold this position at all costs. The entire site has been overrun. The door won't last much longer. Paladin Brandis, sir. It's been an honor, sir _ .

“How awful! She must have been so scared!” Guinevere looked sorrowfully at the body.

“I hate these bastards!” said RJ through clenched teeth and stomped his boot down on the head of dead feral. Guinevere gave his arm a pat.

“I know RJ. I'm sorry.”

He turned and left the room abruptly, and she let him go. She brought out her map. The satellite referred to on the holotape was close by, a half hour give or take. 

RJ was standing near the exit, smoking. 

“You ok RJ?”

He exhaled slowly. “Yeah I'll be ok. Thanks for caring about me Guin.”

“No thanks needed. You know that.” She smiled at him and received an appreciative one back. His usually bright blue eyes were slightly dimmed by his emotions but she knew he would rather get busy then dwell on it. “The satellite array is close. Hopefully we can get this thing wrapped up and get back before nightfall.”

RJ nodded. “I hear that. Don't wanna be out in the open after dark again. Let’s go.”

Guinevere and RJ knew they were in for a bad time as they neared the array. The smell alone told them they were heading into super mutant territory. The horrors stored rotting meat all over their compounds. It was in boxes, containers, and even hanging from old fishing nets. The meat was in various stages of decay and on hot days the smell was unbearable. Super mutants were big, agressive and unintelligent. They also wielded heavy, destructive weapons like missiles and bombs.

Guinevere took a deep breath and sank to the ground behind the hulk of an old truck. “These things scare me, RJ. Everything about them. It's like every monster movie that used to freak me out came to life when I saw these things the first time. I avoid going near them at all costs. I don't know if I can do this!” She was trembling slightly and her eyes were wide with fear.

RJ sat next to her and pulled her into his arms. “We don't need to. We can go tell tinman and that jarhead Rhys to get their damn cans on and get out here. It’s  _ their _ recon team.  _ We  _ don't need to die out here just to solve a mystery for someone else Guinny. I mean yeah it sucks they died but that's just it...they're already dead. We can't help ‘em.”

She let him hold her for a few minutes then sat up. She wiped tears away. RJ hadn't even known she’d been crying. Guinevere closed her eyes and sighed heavily.

“Danse and Rhys can't leave, you know that. And no one said putting the world back together was going to be fun and easy!  I just hate being this terrified little girl. Everyone else out here isn't a weak quivering mess all the time!”

RJ looked at her and started laughing softly. It wasn't a mocking unkind laugh but it puzzled her just the same.

“Guinny...you have no idea. Firstly pretty much all of us were born post-war. We grew up with this crap. You grew up pre-war. You know what peace is. You knew what it meant to go out without looking over your shoulder. You knew that when you went out you would come back in one piece. Adjusting to this has to be the worst kind of hell for you. Yet you’re doing it. And you’re freaking amazing out here. You think I’d have stuck with you if you sucked?” He grinned at her. “Well come to think of it I would’ve because you’re gorgeous as hell and being seen with you makes me look good!”

Guinevere had to laugh a bit through her tears. RJ squeezed her.

“Anyway, I'll tell you something. You get freaked by super mutants? You know those nasty hounds they got here?”

She nodded. “I hate when they bay.”

“Yeah same here. Well in the capital wastes they don't have the hounds but something way worse. I mean worse than anything you could think up. They’re called centaurs.” RJ shuddered. 

“Centaurs? Like half man, half horse?” She asked curiously.

RJ shook his head. “Oh hell no. Those are cutesy compared to these. Centaurs were created by using the FEV on a bunch of different animals and humans. They’re not little either. They stand almost as tall as us. The bodies have no arms, and their mouths are filled with writhing tentacles. Instead of legs, those bastards have multiple human arms that they use to drag themselves along the ground. They might not be fast but seeing them can terrify you so bad you can't move anyway. They use those tentacles to attack you plus they have radioactive spit.” 

RJ wrapped his arms around her again and squeezed her tightly for a few seconds.  “Those things made me wanna piss myself. I actually did the first time I saw one. Was 6. First time out of the cave alone. Didn't go back out for a week. To this day I'm freaked out at the thought of seeing one again. My point is, we all got something that scares the hell out of us. Even tinman. Make sure you tell me what when you find out. And Rhys? He’s terrified of me!”

Guinevere gave him a raised eyebrow look. “Oh no...what did you do! Was this from your time with the Gunners?”

He laughed. “Nope. He pissed me off that first day we met. So we had a little talk. End of story.”

She sighed. “Oh RJ. That explains why it seems he avoids you.” She leaned into him for a few minutes then sat up. “But the centaurs sound horrific. I'd rather skip seeing those. All these awful things need to go away!”

She looked off into the distance. “That means I need to do my part which is finishing this mission. We can't take on this whole compound though. Just have to find the soldier or the beacon. How do you want to do this?”

RJ thought about it. “This is a pretty big deal. Running with the Gunners we swarmed in. Never gave a thought about tactics. You know I'm a sharp-shooter but that won't help us. I'm not sending you in there alone. This isn’t gonna happen without a fight. Every step we take we gotta know how to backtrack to safety. Get cornered and it’s game over.”

She nodded. “I'm going to take my pack off and leave it so I'm less encumbered. I say we just be as stealthy as possible and fight only when necessary.”

Guinevere shrugged out of her pack and prepared her weapon. With an appreciative smile at RJ, she moved forward then stopped.  “Wait...do you have stims on you just in case?”

“Yeah this time I grabbed some before we left.”

“Ok good.”

The stench as they approached made them both want to gag. Guinevere turned the sound way down on the radio so she had to place her ear against it to hear. They crept slowly, carefully, making sure to remember the way out.

“That sound, what is it!?” Yelled one of the super mutants.

Guinevere had knocked over a piece of metal. She stopped moving.

“I don't hear nothing!” Shouted another.

The signal was coming in faster. A metal staircase loomed up ahead. “Could be up there. We could also end up trapped,” said Guinevere.

RJ’s response was to move ahead. He got on the stairs and looked around then motioned to her to follow. Cautiously, Guinevere did so. Landing by landing they crept upwards but the signal didn't change. At the top was a small makeshift enclosure where they sat for a moment.

“This sucks,” said RJ. “There’s a lot of these stair sections. And some will have the super mutants on ‘em.”

“Let’s go,” she whispered. 

Back down they went, and listened for the signal. Without warning, a red laser blast narrowly missed Guinevere and she dove to the ground, quickly flipping over and pointing her weapon. A huge super mutant lunged towards her. She yelled and rapid fired as RJ shot its legs. Crippled, the beast limped towards them screaming. Guinevere backed up as she fired, but needed to reload. 

“Puny human!” It roared. “Now you die!”

“I don't think so asshole!” Shouted RJ, taking aim and shooting it right between the eyes. The creature grunted, fell to it’s knees then toppled over. But they had no time to celebrate. The noise had attracted others. Guinevere felt panic rising inside her as she completed the reload. Her hands trembled.

“Throw a grenade if you got one!” RJ shouted. Then he heard a loud beeping. “Oh shit! Suicider! Aim for the right arm!”

Guinevere didn’t think. She just followed his order. The bomber came into view behind its companion and she carefully aimed. Her shots missed, she was too far away...but she tried again. This time she got a direct hit and the super mutant exploded, killing both him and his companion and raining offal down on her and RJ. This time she couldn't help it. She turned and retched.

“That was a kickass shot Guinny!” Cried RJ. “Don't worry. We got plenty of food left!”

Guinevere retched and gagged until she had nothing left. “Ok. Ok,” she breathed. “This is the worst day I've had since I woke up in the vault. I just want to get out of here.” The signal was coming in faster. She looked up and saw another enclosure up some more stairs ahead. “Let’s try that one,” she suggested and ran as low and quick as she could.

“Huh? What’s that?” A super mutant voice rang out. “Gonna splatter your brains!” A rain of laser fire came towards them. 

She fired in the direction it came from, heard a shout of pain and ran for the stairs, RJ at her heels. The super mutant ran at them and RJ fired but ran out of ammo. The creature grabbed him and threw him to the ground, choosing to fixate on Guinevere. 

She couldn't calm herself to aim and let loose several rogue shots in succession, then dashed up the stairs. Her hits had luckily gotten the beast in the head and shoulder, which dazed it but not enough to slow it down. What it did do was enrage it and Guinevere was terrified. Looking down at RJ who lay there unmoving she cried out for him, wanting to get any reaction at all that he was alright. 

The super mutant was relentless and grabbed at her again and this time she saw that half its face was badly burnt. She fired her rifle and missed, dashing up the stairs again. There were two shots left and there was no time to reload. Taking a deep breath to steady herself, Guinevere turned and fired. The super mutant stopped and stood unmoving for a moment, then in seemingly slow motion, tumbled off the edge of the railing to the ground below. 

Guinevere was shaking, tears streaming down her face. Heart racing, she ran back down the stairs. 

“RJ!”

To her relief he was sitting up holding his arm, and she didn't need to think twice before jamming a stimpak into him. He gave a yelp but as the medication flooded through him he sighed with relief.

“My arm got messed up when I landed,” he said. “Couldn't reach my stims. You ok Guinny?”

She nodded and pulled him to his feet, then hugged him. “I thought it killed you! I was terrified!”

“Aww no beautiful...it’ll take a heck of a lot more to take  _ this _ guy out!”

“I hate this place! Let’s get up these stairs. I think the signal’s coming from there.”

At the top, the makeshift enclosure contained a large crate, a duffel bag, and another dessicated Brotherhood soldier. His tags identified him as Scribe Faris and in the duffel bag she found several rounds of ammo, a change of clothing and a holotape. 

“I'm sorry brother,” she said respectfully, as she had for all the others. “Let’s get out of here, RJ. I’ll listen to the tape back at my pack.”

He didn't need to be asked twice.

The fresh air back at the spot they had stopped at initially had them both standing and breathing deeply. Guinevere strapped on her pack. The day was wearing down and she realized they wouldn't be able to make it back to the station.

“We need to find a place to hide out for the night,” she said.

“Yeah,” agreed RJ miserably. “Well we still have daylight left let’s see how far we can get anyway. Make tomorrow less of a trek.”

There wasn’t much talking between them as they alternately jogged and walked as quickly as they could. When sunset came there was an old truck with a locked trailer that Guinevere managed to pick open. There were some cargo crates inside, completely empty. She pulled the door back down.

“This is pretty safe,” she said with relief. “Ferals, deathclaws, super mutants...none of them will bother with this old trailer."

“Any raiders that might will get their faces blown off,” added RJ. He took off his jacket and sat down. Guinevere unstrapped her pack, took out some food items, a few purified water containers and a flashlight.

Her weapon gave off a comforting glow and she took off her jacket and curled up on it. “We should try and eat but I'm completely exhausted. Oh I better listen to that holotape.”

With a sigh she dug it out and placed it in her pip-boy.

_ This is Faris. It's been... two hours since the Paladin left. My leg... I can't staunch the bleeding. Bullet must've hit an artery. Brandis... if you get this... I hope you made it back to Astlin in time. There was nothing you could do for me. Get to the bunker up north. You'll survive. That's all that... all that matters _ …

“Bunker up north...I hope Paladin Danse knows where it is,” said Guinevere.

“I hope it's not a two day trek through hell,” responded RJ. “I just wanna go back to the diner, drink my ass off and start that car project. No more super mutants, ferals or the party station.”

Guinevere was too tired to think about what she wanted. She lay on her jacket and stared at the glow from the rifle.

“Guinny,” whispered RJ. “C’mere.”

She lifted her head. He beckoned her with one hand and she dragged herself over, resting her head on his thigh, and he slowly ran his fingers through her hair.

“When Lucy got stressed out, I'd play with her hair. God, I miss her.” 

“I'm sorry RJ. I wish things had been different for all of us,” she murmured.

“Yeah...but then I wouldn't have met you. And that would have been sad I think. We’ve had some good times me and you. And we’re gonna have more. Lots more. We’re good together Guinny.”

He looked down at her. She had fallen asleep.

“Hey Guinevere?” He waited for her to respond. When she didn't he took hold of her hand and kissed it. “I love you. I love you so fucking much it’s killing me. But I'm too much of a pussy to say this when you’re awake. I want to marry you. For real. I want to have a family with you. I want the whole nine yards.”

Guinevere stirred slightly but didn't say a word.

RJ’s eyes filled with tears and he sat for a long time until finally sleep claimed him too. 

* * *

Guinevere and RJ finally made it back to the station in the morning. It hadn’t been the most restful night but after finishing off the food and water, they had enough energy to get back.

Knight Rhys was polishing his boots and Guinevere noticed with amusement that he scuttled off when they came in.  _ It must have been one hell of a ‘talk’ RJ had with him _ , she thought. 

Guinevere found Danse upstairs. She expected a smile or some kind of personal greeting but was dismayed at his rather cool reception.

“Initiate Stanton. How did the mission go? Did you find out anything else?”

She blinked. “Oh...yes. Yes we did.” She gave him Knight Astlin’s tags and popped the holotape into her pip-boy. He listened sadly.

“Knight Astlin. She was in my company, years ago. Best marksman I ever saw. They should have fortified their camp, made it a proper outpost. But they must not have had time. And Astlin paid the price.”

Guinevere said nothing and gave him Scribe Faris’ tags and played that holotape for him. Danse sat on a cot and sighed deeply. “That just leaves Paladin Brandis. He always was a survivor. But after all this time…” He got up and began pacing. “He broke the first rule of small-group tactics. Stick together.  _ Always _ stick together. They all wound up alone. And they all got killed. Damn it.”

Guinevere sat down on her cot and watched him silently. He paced the room a few times, thinking, not acknowledging her. She was tired and wanted to go home, but the team leader was still unaccounted for.

“Excuse me, Paladin Danse?”

He stopped pacing and faced her wordlessly. She didn't understand why he seemed so different. A few days ago he had complimented her, loaded her pack, and showed such warmth towards her and they seemed to be getting closer again. Now it felt as though his walls had come up again. Guinevere was confused, but she wanted to complete the mission and go home. “The bunker on the holotape. Do you know where it is?”

He nodded. “It was part of my original mission brief. This location, Recon Bunker Theta, was one of my team's designated holdout points. It’s a considerable distance north, Initiate. I would suggest resting up before attempting to reach it.”

“I wish I had a car,” she groaned. “Or a plane.”

“We made contact with the Prydwen today. However it was not a good signal and I was unable to receive an ETA. It’s still doubtful we’d be able to spare a vertibird were she here now.”

Guinevere’s eyes searched his face. Danse’s expression was unreadable and she was disheartened.

“Was there anything else, soldier?” He asked.

She shook her head and tucked her feet up, lying down. She must have mistaken his earlier interest in her. Guinevere had hoped maybe he saw something in her that interested him but now she figured that wasn’t the case.  _ You’re just another soldier _ , she told herself.  _ One of many he's recruited. You’re not special. This isn't the old world, he's not Nate, get over yourself _ . 

Paladin Danse strode from the room and closed the door behind him. He had wanted nothing more than to pick her up in his arms and hold her, thank the heavens she was safe and never let go. He had come to the conclusion that he couldn’t allow himself the luxury of getting close to her. He knew the emotional repercussions of losing people he was close to. Getting too attached to anyone was a recipe for disaster. 

_ Damn it to hell _ , he thought.  _ The way I treated her just now, like she was no more important to me than any other wastelander, was terrible. The look in her eyes...what kind of man am I to be able to turn my feelings off like that? Guinevere deserves someone much better.  _

He headed outside to the obstacle course. Danse thought maybe he could talk himself out of his feelings. Remind himself what was important. Convince his mind that he didn't need the complication of a personal relationship.

He failed.

Paladin Danse was falling in love.

* * *

“I really don't want to be out here again,” whined RJ. “7 hours Guinny. That’s how long we gotta walk this time. That means we can't get back til tomorrow.”

“I know,” she agreed unhappily. “I miss Hancock and Dogmeat and my own bed. After this is done we’re going home and...I’m not sure I'm coming back.”

He was surprised. “What happened to fixing the world?”

“I'm not quitting the Brotherhood,” she said. “At least not until I see the Prydwen and meet the Elder. I'm just not going back to the station.”

“Tinman might cry and get all rusty,” he chuckled.

“I don't think the Paladin will care all that much.”

RJ heard the slight hurt in her voice. She wasn’t seriously interested in the Paladin was she? Guinevere was still in love with her husband he was sure. “I'd care if you left  _ me _ . He's a husk Guinny. The guy only cares about being a soldier.”

“You’re right. I just can't wait to be home.”

There were wild mutated beasts that harassed them occasionally, but aside from those their travels were uneventful. They met up with a travelling merchant and his guards. He told them he was headed to Diamond City. RJ bought a bottle of Bourbon off him. They rested together for a short time before going their separate ways.

“We’ve done a ton of walking just to find a few dead bodies,” observed RJ. “Aside from you no one would be looking for  _ me _ if I disappeared.”

“What makes you so sure I’d look for you?” Guinevere teased and pushed him away playfully. He threw a clump of earth at her making her laugh.

* * *

Recon Bunker Theta looked like something out of a movie. Everything about it looked set up. It just seemed too perfect. There were turrets on the roof that looked rusted and old, boxes and barrels placed around the exterior obviously showing that they were empty.

“I don't know if I like this place,” said RJ.

“I agree it feels weird. Like someone wants it to look like there’s nothing here worth exploring.” 

Guinevere cautiously stepped up to the door. There were no traps present and she entered the password Danse gave her into the computer affixed to the wall. The door opened without the squeaking they both expected. 

There was a short corridor and beyond it they could see a faint light. Their eyes had barely adjusted to the gloom as they reached a large room. A short wall of sandbags acted as a barricade of some sort. 

“Freeze!” Shouted a male voice. “One more step and I'll... I'll blow your damn head off!” The voice was strong but hesitant.

RJ cocked his gun as an old man stepped into view. At least he  _ looked _ old. His longish hair and beard were mostly grey and disheveled. The jumpsuit he wore was the Brotherhood issue type that was worn beneath the power armor just like the ones the dead soldiers were wearing. Around his neck hung a set of military dog tags. With shock Guinevere realized that he must be Paladin Brandis.

“I’m...we’re... going to put our weapons down on the ground,” said Guinevere calmly. She could see that RJ wanted no part of that decision but a sharp glance from her had him complying.

“Who are you? Who sent you? How'd you get in here?” Asked the man suspiciously, his gun trained on them.

“Easy friend,” she said softly. “I’m with the Brotherhood of Steel.”

His eyes narrowed. “No, no, no, it can't be. They're... they're too far away. They wouldn't send you. ...Would they?”

She nodded. “I'm with Recon Team Gladius under the command of Paladin Danse. My name is Guinevere. This is my associate, RJ. You are Paladin Brandis, right?”

“What? Where did you hear that name?”

Guinevere kept her voice low. “I followed the distress beacons left by your team. Their holotapes led me here.”

His eyes widened and his hands trembled. His mouth opened as if to speak but no sound came out. Guinevere felt a deep compassion for him. He looked so lost. She knew that feeling all too well.

“I'm really sorry but they're dead, Paladin. I recovered their tags and gave them to Danse.”

A look of sorrow washed over Brandis’ face. “I... I tried to go back for them, you know. There was nothing I could do, not alone. But... I had hoped…”

Guinevere gave him a small smile. “They followed orders and died fighting. You can be proud of that. Do you think we could sit down and talk? Without our weapons out?”

He stared at her, considering, then slowly lowered his gun and lay it on the sandbags. “I don't have much down here aside from tech I've collected over the years. You can sit on the bed.” He led them further into the room which was larger than it first appeared. Brandis sat on a rickety chair while Guinevere and RJ perched on the edge of the dirty, rusted bed.

“Six hours after insertion, my company was ambushed,” explained Brandis. “We lost five Knights and exhausted our Power Armor reserves. We scuttled the armor to prevent looting, then retreated under fire, abandoning our supplies. I was separated from the two remaining members of my team within a week. I had hoped to rendezvous with them here and seek a means of escape from the Commonwealth. But...they didn't come. No one did, ever.”

“I'm here now,” Guinevere said gently. “Come back with us. You're still a member of the Brotherhood, Paladin. We need you now more than ever.”

He shook his head. “I... can't. It's been too long. I... I wouldn't be of any use. How...how long has it really been?”

“Three years,” answered Guinevere.

“Three years! That’s...I've been here too long. I'm... I'm not myself. Would they still take me?” Fear crept into his voice. “I've been alone all this time. I...I tried to do some exploring, collected some tech, tried to keep the mission going...but alone...too much at risk. I can’t...too much time…”

Guinevere made a soothing sound. “I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through, but your team...they died fighting for what they believed in.They left those holotapes and said it was an honor to serve with you. If you don't return, who’ll tell their stories? You’re the only one left who can share their memories. The Brotherhood doesn't abandon it’s own, you know this. It’s been so rough out there that it’s taken three years for us to be able to look for you. You’re still a Paladin and we still need you.”

Brandis looked at her, then at RJ, then at the ground. “I'm not sure I still have a place there. I've been away for too long. Maybe I'm not cut out for the Brotherhood anymore.”

He looked worried. Guinevere and RJ said nothing, letting him decide what the right course of action would be. 

The old Paladin stood up and looked at his guests, then around the room. He sighed. “I'll… i’ll come back and give it time. I owe it to you, and to my team. Thank you for finding me and giving me another chance.”

Guinevere smiled widely. “I'm so happy to hear that Paladin! And Danse will be delighted to have you back. Is there anything you want to take with you now? I’ll ask for a sweep and retrieve to get the rest of this tech.”

Brandis shook his head. “If it’s alright, I'd like to stay and organize myself before going back. The Prydwen...is she at the airport?”

Guinevere shook her head. “No, the Prydwen hasn’t arrived yet. I’ll leave you a map to the Cambridge police station. That’s our base for now.”

Brandis nodded. “That...that would be fine. Thank you. Thank you for everything. What is your rank and designation soldier?”

Guinevere wasn't quite sure how to respond. “I'm Guin Stanton, Initiate. I don't know my designation. Yet. Things are chaotic right now.” She shrugged apologetically.

“You deserve a promotion, Initiate Stanton. I’ll be sure to recommend it.”

Guinevere stood up and gave him the Brotherhood salute. “Ad victorium, Paladin.”

He returned the gesture and she left him a map, then she and RJ headed back out.    
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When RJ says he wants to marry Guinevere "for real", he's referring to an incident you can read about in the story "I Think I Want To Marry You".
> 
> You will notice that Guinevere takes on an old fashioned, traditional female role. I decided that she comes from a time much like our 1940's-50's when women and men had clearly defined roles in society and in the home. You will see her taking on domestic chores and allowing the men in her life to act as leaders.


	5. The Ties That Bind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere embarrasses herself in front of Danse; Haylen and Guinevere bond; Danse overhears a conversation between Guinevere and Brandis that hurts him and RJ starts his car project.

* * *

They had to hole up for the night in another trailer, but RJ wanted to get as far into the 7 hour journey as they could. They did make a dent in the time, and luckily weren’t bothered by anything during the night.

Guinevere was in high spirits when they made it back to the police station.  She hoped that her good news would warm Paladin Danse up to her again.  

She rushed inside and ran upstairs to the area he considered his quarters. He had just finished washing up. His hair was wet and he stood only in his pants.

“Initiate Stanton!” he exclaimed. “Perhaps it was natural to burst into someone’s personal quarters in the old world but I assure you that it’s considered impolite not to knock in this one!”

She stopped dead and realised what she’d done in her exuberance.  The sight of him in such an informal position made her stare for a moment until she caught herself. Instead of making a positive entrance, she had done the exact opposite.  She quickly backed out of the room and closed the door, apologising profusely.  She ran back downstairs and nearly knocked Haylen over.

“Guin! What’s up?”

“Amanda...I just...I just ran into Paladin Danse’s room like he was RJ and didn’t even stop to consider how rude I was being!  I keep screwing up.  I know he’s not fond of me to start with and this didn’t help. I was just so excited about the mission we just finished!

Haylen dragged her down the stairs and outside. “Why do you think Danse isn’t fond of you? Did he say that?”

“Oh no he’s far too professional to ever say anything like that. But he’s changed towards me.  Anyway that pales in comparison to the fact that RJ and I found Paladin Brandis! He’s alive and coming back!”

Haylen looked astonished.  “He’s actually alive? How is he?”

“Confused and traumatised. But alive! Isn’t that great?”

Haylen nodded. “You’re amazing Guin. But I don’t agree with you thinking that Danse isn’t fond of you.  I’m actually sure he is. He just gets messed up in his head around people. Kind of like Rhys.”

Guinevere shrugged.  “Well he doesn’t need to like me. He’s my commanding officer and I have to obey orders. That’s how it works. Now that I’ve messed up again I’m sure I’ll get a talking to about it.”

Haylen sighed. “I had a hard time adjusting to Brotherhood life at first too Guin. I came from a farm in the capital wastes. I knew how to shuck corn and pick weeds. Maybe tend to a sick Brahmin or dog but that was it. I wanted out so bad and then when I joined up I regretted it. Elder Maxson scared me, the others intimidated me...but Paladin Danse really helped bring me along. Give him a chance. He’s a good person.”

“I don’t doubt that he is Amanda. I just...this is going so sound really silly but from the first time I met him I felt kind of drawn to him. I’m sorry, that’s inappropriate to say. Just forget it, ok?”

Haylen smiled. “Don’t be sorry for having feelings. Especially not for a man like Danse. There’s too little feelings in the world as it is. But just trust me when I say he does like you Guin. Do you have a military background? You seem to get how things work easier than most people who sign up.”

Guinevere appreciated Haylen’s candor and was about to tell her about her father and Nate when Paladin Danse opened the door.

“Initiate Stanton, I’d like to hear your report now.”

Guinevere’s throat suddenly felt tight and she thought that the world had less oxygen to offer.  Haylen patted her arm.  

“It’s ok,” she whispered with a grin. “He’s not a super mutant! Come find me after.”  With that Haylen vanished into the training yard.

Guinevere’s enthusiasm had gone when she sat down at the small table opposite the Paladin. She couldn’t look in his eyes as she told him about Paladin Brandis.

“I should have known,” he said with pride. “Old codger could live through anything! Well done Initiate. It might be some time before he's fit for duty again, but we can use all the help we can get.”

“I felt bad for him,” she said softly. “He seemed so lost. After finding the others dead, I’m glad that he is still alive.”

Danse nodded and gazed at her, wishing she would meet his eyes. “It was a difficult mission and you carried it out with diligence.  You’ve earned my respect, soldier.”

Guinevere nodded respectfully. “Thank you Paladin.”

“There’s another order of business I’d like to discuss with you,” he began.

 _Well here it comes_ , she thought miserably. “Paladin, I...I’m sorry I was rude earlier!” She stammered.  “I was so excited about finding Paladin Brandis that I didn’t think. It won’t happen again. I promise to keep my excitement contained from now on!"

Danse was caught off guard and didn’t say a word for a long moment. “I like your excitement,” he said softly.  “It’s refreshing. But this isn’t what I wish to talk to you about.”

Guinevere felt even more ridiculous. But something in her heart sparked. He said he liked something about her. That meant a lot. But she still felt quite embarrassed about the situation. She sat quietly waiting for him to continue, wanting only to go home where she didn’t feel like a little lost lamb.

“I'm going to recommend you be awarded the rank of Knight. I know we discussed ranks before, and nothing will be official until you speak to Elder Maxson, but your work with us here has been exemplary. Your rise in the ranks is far quicker than normal, but is completely warranted.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Guinevere said. “Thank you Paladin.”

“No thanks necessary soldier.  Just keep excelling at your duties.”

Guinevere nodded and finally mustered up the courage to meet his eyes. “Permission to go home now, Paladin?”

He was dismayed at the expression she wore. A fast promotion to Knight should have awakened that enthusiasm in her, but it hadn’t. Had he been too harsh with her earlier?

“Initiate Stanton, I wasn’t angry with you earlier. You caught me off guard and I reacted. I apologise if that upset you.”

“Paladin, I’m the one who acted improperly and I’m sorry. You were warranted in being upset with me.” She caught her lower lip in her teeth, a question in her eyes.

 _She can’t wait to get away from here,_ he thought. _She’s given so much to help us and I’m managing to alienate her. I’m a fool and I don’t know how to stop being one._

“You may head home,” he said. “I hope you will return once the Prydwen arrives. There is so much I wish to show you. If you'd like to do some training here with me at any time I’d welcome the opportunity.”

Guinevere stood. “Thank you, Paladin Danse,” she said simply and went out to the yard to find Haylen.

* * *

“Well,” said her friend. “You are still intact so Danse didn’t chew you up too bad. Was he pleased about Brandis?”

Guinevere sat down on the ground beneath the A-frame. “Yes he was, and he said he was going to ask that I be promoted to Knight. After I talk to Elder Maxson.”

Haylen stared at her in surprise. “Knight? That’s fast Guin, Danse must be impressed with you! Congratulations! If you survive meeting the Elder !”

Guinevere blinked. “Why would you say that? Is he a super mutant or something equally terrible? A centaur maybe?”

Haylen laughed and sat down across from her. “Ew oh yuck! Who told you about those things? I was happy to have forgotten them! Elder Maxson scares me. He’s ...intense. He has these bright blue eyes and he’s handsome...but I always felt like he was looking right through me and reading my mind. He’s brilliant, don’t get me wrong, and he cares about people especially the ones that serve under him. But he’s intimidating. At least I think so.”

Guinevere sighed. “I’m not sure this is the right choice for me. I don’t like feeling intimidated all the time. I want a cause I can believe in and I thought this might be it but now I’m not so sure.”

“The Brotherhood can be difficult sometimes. The ideals are a bit too black and white for me sometimes, but my life has been good since I joined up and got used to a military life. I love serving with Paladin Danse. He cares about all of us a great deal. He’s easy to talk to as well. About anything. Did he say he was upset with you about earlier?”

Guinevere shook her head. “I blurted out how sorry I was for it and he didn’t even care. In fact he said sorry to _me_ for making me think he was upset. He said he just reacted.”

Haylen raised her eyebrows. “That’s cool Guin. I told you he liked you. He seriously does. So what do you want to do now? Play on the obstacle course? Let’s get MacCready to go through it and see if he can!”

Guinevere slowly got to her feet. “We’re going home. I live at the old Red Rocket gas station outside of Concord. Maybe if you get leave you can come visit me. My family is a bit weird though just fair warning on that.”

Haylen laughed. “All families are weird. But what do you mean?”

“I live with my friends. My Mr. Handy bot Codsworth, my dog whom you already met, RJ and Hancock the former mayor of Goodneighbor.”

Haylen’s eyes widened. “That place is all ghouls isn’t it?”

“Not all but there are lots yes. And John is indeed a ghoul. He’s the sweetest man if you can get past all that. I hope that hasn’t put you off. Hancock says the Brotherhood hates ghouls is that true?”

Haylen looked uncomfortable. “I don’t have a problem with normal ghouls but some of us do. That’s what I meant about the black and white thing. We are taught to hate everything that isn’t human. To me ghouls are just irradiated humans and they don’t bother me. But some of us...well...are pretty condescending towards them. We aren’t permitted to outright kill anything except synths, super mutants and ferals but there is no regulation that forbids treating them as second class citizens. For the record, Danse doesn’t hate them. He treats them as a neutral entity. Rhys hates them and won’t hesitate to make his feelings known.”

Guinevere looked upset. “John is my family. I won’t give him up for anyone or anything. And I won’t tolerate him being treated badly. I need to think about this decision I made to join up.”

It was Haylen’s turn to look sad. “I’m sorry for upsetting you. I just want to be honest. I also don’t want to see you leave. Gladius is a way better team with you on it. I’ll try and get leave to come visit. But if the Prydwen comes I’m getting back on board as soon as I can! Please give us a chance. I know you’ll do great here.”

RJ was lounging around outside smoking when she told him it was time to go.

“Sick of tinman finally?” he asked.

“I was with Amanda. I invited her to come visit us.”

“Did you tell her about Hancock? Bet she won’t set foot in that place if you did.”

Guinevere faced him. “I told her about him. I also made it clear that you guys are my family and like I said before I’m not giving you up for anything. She’s not bothered by ghouls thankfully.”

RJ shrugged. “Still don’t think we’ll be seeing her. These guys only care about one thing. Being a soldier. Boring. Can we go home now Guinny?”

* * *

RJ and Hancock found an old broken down Corvega and managed to drag it back to the Red Rocket. Guinevere was brushing Dogmeat when she heard the horrible sound of metal being dragged down the road.

“Should we go check it out boy?” she asked the shepherd. “Or go hide in our room until whatever it is goes away?”

Dogmeat, always the brave adventurous soul, barked and wagged his tail happily. “I figured you’d say that! Let’s go!”

She stepped out of the white picket fence they had erected along the front of the place and looked down the road. Hancock was dragging something and she couldn’t see RJ.  Watching with curiosity she slowly saw the husk the ghoul was dragging come into view, and RJ behind, pushing.

“Hey sunshine!” called Hancock, waving.

“Is that a dead car?” she called back, laughing.

“Sure is. MacCready thinks he’s gonna be a race driver or something. Didn’t have the heart to tell him this is never gonna run.”

RJ popped up behind. “It’s for show. Where would I run it anyways you damn ghoul I told you it was just for the awesome factor. Now keep pulling we’re almost there!”

Guinevere looked at the fence opening. “This won’t fit through here you know.”

Hancock nodded. “Gotta drag it around the side. Good thing I took my mentats this morning.”

“I’m going to go and hide in my room with Dogmeat until this infernal noise stops though. You two will have alerted every raider from here to Diamond City with this noise. Hope you have your weapons ready.”

RJ grinned at her. “I figure if you’re pissed off enough you’ll take them out in one shot anyways like the ferals in the training yard!”

“RJ I told you that was just a reaction!”

“You sell yourself too short beautiful,” he said.

Hancock looked at him, an expression of pure amusement on his face. “It would be cruel for me to take advantage of that opening MacCready.”

RJ waved him away dismissively. “Better think twice about that leatherhead. I’m the fastest gun in the west….err...east. Never mind, get pulling!”

Guinevere walked off chuckling to herself. She was happy to be home with her family.

The days that followed were filled with the recreating of the car. Guinevere didn’t know what the husk once was that they’d brought home, and none of the pictures any of them had matched up. They decided that it might have been a racer that someone had put together and would be unique.

“What color are we gonna paint her?” asked RJ happily as he welded yet another plate together.

“Whatever color we can scrounge up out there,” said Hancock.

“I vote for a bright red,” said RJ. “Cherry red like in that magazine. Yeah. That’s what I want.”

Guinevere brought out a tray of snacks and beer. RJ had been obsessively working on the car project since he and Hancock had brought it home. The ghoul had helped occasionally, but most of the time it was all RJ.

She hadn’t done much with it, watching her friend cut and weld and design. She’d never seen him so excited about anything and it made her happy.

They had decided to set the car up where the old gas station bays had once been, right at the front of their home. She had suggested they build defenses around it because raiders would take one look and think it was something worth trying to steal. Hancock had taken on that project immediately.

“Guys,” said Guinevere one afternoon. “I’m going back to the police station tomorrow.”

“Aw why,” whined RJ. “I thought you were done with them.”

“I did say I wasn’t leaving the Brotherhood entirely. But Brandis has been on my mind. I’d like to see how he’s doing, if he made it over to them.”

“Ok I’ll be ready,” said RJ with a sigh.

“Uhh, no not this time RJ. I’d like to go alone. I need some girl time with Amanda too. You stay and work on your car, ok?”

RJ looked at her over the chunk of metal he was working on. He felt torn between wanting to stay and wanting to go. “You sure Guinny? I don’t mind tagging along just to be that extra gun you hired me for.”

“I’m sure I’ll be alright.  Look, I’ll take Dogmeat with me.”  Upon hearing his name, the shepherd lifted his head and tilted it.

“That makes me feel a bit better I guess. How long are you planning on staying over there? Just so I know and can be back here. Might need to go scavving for car parts.”

She thought about it. “Two days. But RJ, if a mission comes up I’ll be taking it most likely and that will change things. It’s hard to say. And Hancock is here, and Codsworth and Dogmeat. Plus I actually am capable of taking care of myself you know.”

He nodded. “I worry about you is all, gorgeous. You’re great out here, it’s not about you. It’s about me being used to looking after you. Sorry if that’s insulting.”

Guinevere bent down and gave him a kiss on his head. “It’s not insulting. It’s wonderful and I love you for it. You too, Hancock.” She turned and plunked a kiss on the ghoul’s cheek.

“Aww doll, you know how to make an old ghoul blush.”

* * *

Dogmeat greedily lapped up the water that Guinevere placed in the dish for him.  The day was unforgivably hot and Guinevere had moved at a quick pace all the way to the station.

She didn’t see Paladin Danse and didn’t ask after him. Instead, she went to find Haylen who was delighted to see her and gave her a hug.

“I’m so glad to see you! I wanted to come visit but Paladin Danse didn’t want to be down another person. He said I could go when the new guy gets here.”

Guinevere gave her a questioning look and Haylen nodded.  “His name is Brent Price. He wandered in here looking for work. He’s got a real knack with mechanical stuff.”

Guinevere looked pensive. Did that mean that Paladin Danse would be working with Brent instead of her? Haylen seemed to read her mind.

“Danse told him he wasn’t taking anyone else on since he has you already but Brent could help out until the Prydwen arrives and get a team assignment there. Guin, Danse _wants_ to work with you. You should go check in with him. He’s in the training yard on the gun range.”

Guinevere nodded. “I will. After I’m done with what I came to do, want to sit and talk for a bit, if you aren’t too busy, Amanda?”

Haylen’s face lit up. “I was hoping you’d say that!”

* * *

Paladin Danse was cleaning his weapon when she walked up to him.

“Paladin Danse, Initiate Stanton checking in.”

He turned around and for a moment she thought his expression softened. _Stop seeing things that aren’t there_ , she chided herself. Danse leaned against the wall in a relaxed and informal way.

“Good to see you again. Everything is in good order at home? I see you brought your dog instead of MacCready.”

“Yes, Paladin, home is perfect. I came here today to ask about Paladin Brandis. Did he make it here?”

 _She cares,_ he thought. _Cares about someone she spoke to for mere minutes. A four hour walk across the wastes just to check in._

“He arrived a few days ago, yes. We will schedule a sweep and retrieve for the bunker once we have the manpower to do so.”

“Is he alright? Does he seem fine to you?” she asked.

Paladin Danse shook his head. “He isn’t the same man I once knew, no. He’s spent the last three years alone, and just learned his team is all dead. It does something to a person. I’ve tried talking to  him but he and I aren’t connecting on the right level. He _has_ asked after you a few times.”

Guinevere smiled. “Would it be ok if I spoke to him?”

Danse nodded and indicated the ordnance shed. “He’s been in there cleaning weapons and taking stock of ammunition. I haven’t felt comfortable assigning him any missions. Not until our chief medical officer Cade can evaluate him. I fear it might be some time until he’s cleared for duty again.”

Guinevere heard the dismay in his voice. “As long as he feels useful to the Brotherhood it will help him. I’ll go talk to him now.”

She turned and walked away, aware that Paladin Danse was watching her.  She didn’t understand him. He could be so kind and personable one moment then purely professional and remote the next. Everyone else she knew was consistent in their temperament. Even prickly Rhys was pretty much the same from day to day. She decided that Danse would be a tough commander to please and it made her sigh inwardly.

* * *

She knocked on the doorframe. “Paladin Brandis? It’s me, Initiate Guin Stanton. May I come in?”

The old soldier turned and gave her a smile. His hair and beard had been neatly trimmed, and his jumpsuit was clean and pressed. “Of course, Initiate. I’m glad to see you again. Scribe Haylen said you lived elsewhere and had gone home.”

Guinevere sat down on a crate. “I live in what used to be a gas station and diner. We fixed it up, my friends and I.” Dogmeat came in and sat beside her, tongue lolling and eyes friendly. “I’d like you to meet my dog. His name is Dogmeat.”

Brandis eyed the shepherd and let the animal sniff him, then he petted his head. “That’s a terrible name for such a handsome feller,” he said chuckling.

“I completely agree. He found me when I walked by the Red Rocket. That’s the name of my home. I didn’t name him. I met someone who told me that’s what his name was. He doesn’t mind. He responds to it so I never bothered to change it.”

Brandis stood up and affixed her with a direct gaze. “Danse tells me you’re a vault dweller. Crawled up out of 111. That true? Also true that you’re over 200 years old?”

Guinevere gave a small shrug and nodded.  The Paladin whistled softly. “He’s right about you being remarkable. Knew there was something different about you. Run into many wastelanders in my years and you aren’t like any of them.”

She watched him carefully take apart a rifle and clean it. “Paladin Brandis, how are you feeling?” she asked him gently.

“Firstly, the name’s Jack. I’m going to insist you call me plain old Jack on our own time.”

“Then you can please call me Guin,” she responded with a smile.

“Guin. Guin...that short for something?”

“Yes. Guinevere.”

He nodded. “Suits you. Sounds noble and different. You asked how I was feeling. Truth is, I’m in my own personal hell.”

She sighed sadly. “I’m sorry to hear that Jack. Do you want to talk about it?”

He was quiet for a few minutes as he continued with his task. “I lost them all. My team. My friends. They looked up to me. Trusted me...and I let them down. It’s tearing me apart inside.” He swallowed and turned away, making a pretense of opening another box. “And still they said it was an honor to serve with me. The honor was mine. Never got to tell them. Know what it’s like to have words on your heart that you can’t get out?”

Guinevere nodded. “I do,” she said in a near whisper. Images of Nate, dead in his cryo pod filled her mind and her eyes filled up with tears.

Brandis looked over at her and his expression fell. “Oh no, I’m a stupid old man. I’m sorry girl. I shouldn’t have said that. Being from...from another time I imagine you haven’t had an easy go of it.”

She closed her eyes.  “Please don’t be sorry. What you described is very real to me. I was married before the bomb fell. I was married with an amazing husband and an adorable new baby boy we named Shaun…”

Outside, Danse was returning to the station when he walked past the ordnance shed.  He heard Guinevere talking and stopped. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop on their conversation. It was inappropriate and he knew it, but what he heard tore his heart out.

_“I went back and gathered up her remains,” said RJ. “Hardest damn thing I’ve ever had to do. Buried her under a tree she loved near the cave. I went back a few times just to sit there. Be near her.” The mercenary wiped the back of his hand across his eyes._

_Guinevere tried to blink away her own tears but it was pointless. They weren’t going to obey her and stay away. “I’m so sorry RJ.”_

_“You’re the only one who understands how it is, to watch someone you love be murdered right in front of you. The only other person I ever told this to was Daisy up in Goodneighbor. But even she didn’t really get it.”_

_Guinevere and RJ had started their evening telling jokes and laughing, but gradually their conversations had darkened along with the night sky._

_The rooftop of the Red Rocket was their safe zone, their place to just be themselves.  He had shared the story of his wife Lucy and how she had been torn apart by feral ghouls right in front of him. How he had taken their baby son and fled for their lives._

_Guinevere had known him such a short time and already he trusted her with the most intimate details of his life, and those details had shocked and saddened her._

_“So, where did you bury Nate?” he asked gently._

_Guinevere looked at him and shook her head.  “I...I didn’t. When I was released from the pods my only thought was finding Shaun. RJ, they murdered Nate right in front of me, and ran off with our baby!  Everything in me was screaming to find my son. I...I just left my husband in the cryopod.”_

_RJ had wrapped his arms around her as she cried, his own heart filled with anger and sadness at a world that could commit such atrocities and leave its victims shattered._

_“Guinny, do you want to? Bury Nate I mean. Is that something you’ve thought about doing?”_

_She nodded. “Yes, but it’s not something I can do alone. When I left there I never went back. I don’t know if I could…”_

_“Would you let me and Hancock help?”_

_The question was so sincere and the kindness in his eyes brought her another bout of tears.  She nodded._

_Guinevere and her two friends, her bot and her dog brought Nate out of vault 111 and lay him to rest in the backyard of what had once been their happy home in Sanctuary Hills. Preston Garvey, Mama Murphy, Derek Sturges and the Longs came to pay their respects at the service Hancock had set up._

_Sturges had welded a cross out of metal, that would withstand the elements. RJ had etched ‘Nathaniel James Hawthorne’ onto it._

_Afterwards, Guinevere had stood there staring at the spot for a long time. She wished she could have just one more moment with him, to tell him all the words on her heart._

_She wanted him to know how much their time together had meant to her. How he had been her anchor in an unstable world. How his love had made her feel like she could take on anything.  She wanted him to know how lost she was and how she didn’t have any idea how to proceed without him.  Words he’d never hear, that she would have to carry on her heart until the day she died._

_RJ and Hancock had reminded her that she wasn’t alone anymore, that even though they were the motliest crew, they were family. And family stuck together no matter what._

“Someone as young as you shouldn’t have the knowing of these things!” said Brandis.  “I’m so sorry girl. I’m sorry for everything this world has done to all of us. Do you know who took your son?”

Guinevere wiped away a stray tear and shook her head. “People tell me the Institute probably took him. But I don’t know what they are or where they are.”

Brandis glowered. “That damn Institute! Word of them is why my team got sent here. Making those abominable synths, replacing people, hiding in the shadows! We’ll find them Guin. And take them down. Have you talked to Danse about all this?”

She shook her head vehemently. “Oh no. I wouldn’t share this with him. He’s my commanding officer. A soldier’s private life doesn’t matter.”

“You’re wrong there girl. You’ll learn Danse isn’t like other paladins. Likewise, Maxson. They’ve got hearts in those chests. Both of them care a lot about humanity and those that serve under them. Danse is a strange one. All honor and loyalty but if you got a problem he’ll drop everything to hear you out. You stick with him if you can. He’ll do right by you.”

Guinevere wished she could tell Danse about Shaun, and ask for his help. But she was still on the fence about him. Perhaps he _was_ the caring individual both Haylen and Brandis professed him to be, just not towards her.  She was a wastelander from the Commonwealth. He was from the capital wastes. Outsiders always had a harder time. But she had come to talk to the old Paladin about his situation, not dig into her own sorrows.

“Jack, will you tell me about your team? What were they like?”

His eyes brightened. “Well for starters, Varham didn’t know the difference between the front of a gun and the back when we first met…”

* * *

Paladin Danse closed the door to his quarters and sat down on his bed. His eyes were stinging from the tears he had held back. Guinevere Stanton had a horribly tragic backstory that he'd had no inkling of. Such a terrible thing to live through and yet she still found a way to smile and reach out to others.

Where had he gone wrong with her? She had known Brandis for minutes and trusted him enough to share her deepest pain. Yet she had fought side by side with _him_ and spent countless hours training and never once had she divulged the burden she was carrying.

Danse thought about all the recruits he'd had under him through the years. Each of them had felt secure enough to approach him on personal matters from the start. But this one, the one he felt such an attraction to, was keeping him at arm’s length.

 _It’s my fault_ , he realised miserably. _I’m the one who’s been keeping her at bay. I need to bond with her. But how? I can’t leave the station._

He needed to go out in the field with her, just the two of them. He considered Brandis. The Paladin wasn’t ready for a field assignment, but there was nothing preventing him from minding the station. The new man who’d be starting was another body to assist if necessary. It was possible that he and Guinevere could take on a field mission.

 _She was a wife and mother,_ he thought sadly. _She lost everything, and she came in and helped us out without a single request for herself._

If the Institute was behind the kidnapping of her son, they would pay. Danse wanted to go to her, to tell her that he would do everything he could to help her find her little boy. But she hadn’t shared her story with him yet. And he had to wait until she did.

That wait would be a challenge.


	6. The Hidden Vault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danse visits the Red Rocket to take Guinevere into the field, much to RJ's annoyance; Danse and Guinevere locate a hidden vault with shocking results!

* * *

Guinevere shrieked and ran, laughing, into the garage. RJ rounded the corner wielding the wet, soggy cloth and whipped it, hard, in her direction. It slapped against her hip and she dashed up the yard and hid behind a tree.

“A tree? Really Guinny?!” RJ picked up the cloth, dipped it in the bucket and ran for her again.

Hancock, lounging on a chair nearby, reached his arms up and stretched, then stuck his legs out right as RJ ran past him.  The mercenary didn’t notice in time and went flailing onto the ground, where Guinevere attacked him with her own soggy wet cloth. She squeezed the water onto his face and chest and sat on him, pinning him down.

“Not fair! No tag teaming!” he shouted, trying to escape.

“Who’s tag teaming?” she laughed. “You’re just clumsy and tripped over your own feet!”

Guinevere had told them one night about the water balloon fights she used to have as a child, and then with Nate later on. Hancock and RJ were riveted and wished that balloons still existed. The whole idea of water fights started to sound better and better in the hot days of summer and one afternoon, Guinevere tossed some shirts in a bucket to wash them and on a whim threw one at RJ.

That had started a whole new game for them. Soggy wet fabric made a wonderful weapon against an unsuspecting friend. 

One landed on her head as she walked into the garage that day and the war was on.  Dogmeat ran about, barking happily, wanting in on the game.

“Hancock tripped me! Damn ghoul!” cried RJ.

“Accusing an innocent man of such atrocities,” grinned Hancock, popping another grape mentat into his mouth.

RJ grabbed Guinevere’s hands and threw her off him, and it was her turn to be pinned down. 

She struggled, laughing in the muddy grass.

Suddenly Codsworth floated over. “Excuse me, mistress Guinevere but you have a guest.”

RJ turned to look at the bot. “Well who is it?” he asked. “Can’t you see Guinny is losing the war here?”

Guinevere wriggled out from beneath RJ and sat up. Partially soaked, covered in leaves, dead grasses and mud her eyes fell on the mystified face of Paladin Danse.

She scrambled to her feet, futilely brushing at herself and smoothing her disheveled hair back.

RJ was laughing. “Forget it beautiful. You’re beyond hope at the moment.”

Guinevere felt heat rising to her face. “Paladin Danse! This is...rather unexpected. I...how did you know where I lived?”

He looked a bit sheepish. “I extracted the information from Scribe Haylen. She had been asking for leave to come see you.”

“Oh did she come with you?” Guinevere asked hopefully, looking behind him.

“I’m sorry, no. She stayed with the others at the station. I hope it’s alright that I came here. I wanted to ask you if you would like to accompany me on a few field missions. I made something for you. Since you don’t have your own power armor yet.”

Guinevere nodded. “Sure. That would be ok.” She then stepped towards Hancock. “Paladin Danse, you haven’t met my friend John Hancock yet. He’s the mayor of Goodneighbor. But he lives here with us. Oh and my bot Codsworth I believe you met.”

Hancock gave a mock salute.

Danse gave him a nod.

“Speaking of power armor, where’s yours? You never leave home without it!” she asked.

“I took it off just inside your fence. I’ve got my pack there as well. Let me show you what I’ve got for you.”

RJ’s eyes were narrowed as he watched the two of them walk off.

“What’s with the sourpuss face?” asked Hancock.

“ _ That _ guy. Why’s he coming here now? This isn’t gonna be some Brotherhood outpost he can forget it.”

Hancock eyed the mercenary. “Right. This has nothing to do with Brotherhood. You better say something before it’s too late MacCready,” he said.

“Say what? That guy is a stuffed shirt trust me. Sit and listen to him talk sometime. Need an encyclopedia to figure it out.”

“You mean dictionary? So he’s smart. That’s a good thing.”

RJ looked exasperated. “He’s irritating as hell. And boring. We were having fun too. Dammit.” He stalked off, dragging the two wet soggy bits of cloth with him.

Guinevere watched as Danse extracted a few bits of armor from his pack. “I know it’s not as good as a suit but this will give you more protection in the field than what you’ve got. It’s got the Brotherhood Knight insignia on it, see?”

He held up a breastplate. Guinevere smiled awkwardly. “But I’m not a Knight yet.”

“You are to us. The formalities will come soon enough. Perhaps you’d like to change into some proper clothing?”

Guinevere became suddenly self conscious of her attire. Not only was it filthy and wet, but she was wearing denim shorts and a gingham shirt tied at the waist, showing her midriff.  She felt that heat rising to her face again and she dashed off to her room.

Paladin Danse watched her, smiling slightly. Guinevere was a lively, delightful presence. It had been interesting to watch her running about and playing. Danse had no idea what they were actually doing, but she was enjoying herself and that pleased him.

“Brandis sends his regards,” he said when Guinevere reappeared. “He thinks highly of you. Take that as a compliment, Initiate.”

She looked up into his eyes. “This is my home, Danse,” she said. “When you’re here, please...can you just call me Guin?”

He pursed his lips for a moment, unsure what to say. It was hard to refuse her request. Those clear green eyes of hers staring at him in that guileless way.

“Understood. Guin...Guinevere.”

She grinned and took the breastplate from him and slipped her arms into the loops. However, she couldn’t quite reach the ends of the straps that hung in behind and crossed forward to buckle up.

Danse reached for them. “Allow me to assist you.” 

He was standing close behind her as he brought them to the front, his head over her shoulder. Guinevere turned, his face inches from hers. Danse brought his arms around her waist, holding the ends of the straps.  

Her nearness was intoxicating to him. He’d never before felt such an incredible rush of emotion as he did right then. 

Guinevere’s heart was racing. Just having him so close to her, it was scrambling her senses. If she moved her head just a little she could kiss him, and everything inside her screamed for her to do exactly that.

“Danse,” she whispered.

He straightened, cleared his throat and moved the straps to one hand. He stepped around her. “Here. Fasten them so they aren’t too tight. You need freedom of movement.”

Guinevere sighed softly. She wondered if he was even aware of his effect on her. She saw the way he looked at her sometimes. Was it some regulation in the Brotherhood that made Danse keep up those walls? But Amanda had told her there  _ were _ no rules in the Brotherhood about relationships. It was obvious that Paladin Danse had a whole set of protocols in his head that were conflicting with him. Guinevere was sure that he felt something for her but each time they got closer, he shut the door on it. 

She thought to herself that she could maybe tell him how she felt, or just boldly find something to stand on and kiss him. But was it really all in her head? What if the attraction was only in her own mind and she was projecting. It could prove to be a terrible embarrassment if she acted on it.

_ Yes, he’s an incredible man _ , she told herself.  _ But he’s your commanding officer! Give your head a shake!  _ Thoughts of Nate snuck up on her and guilt prickled uncomfortably again, as it always did when she thought about her feelings for Danse. 

_ Come on Guinevere _ , she told herself.  _ Focus _ . Pushing it all aside, she fastened the breastplate, then sat on the lumpy ground and put on the leg protectors. They fit over her shins and thighs in two separate pieces.  They were light, crafted out of some sort of plastic. There was also one arm guard for the arm that didn’t have the pip-boy.

“Ready for action!” she grinned as she stood up.

“You’ll need your weapon I believe,” Danse said with amusement. “Unless you plan on some other form of destruction.”

She went back to the garage. RJ was there, looking miserable, the water bucket with the cloths at his feet.

“What’s wrong?” she asked him.

He shrugged. “Tinman. Ruining our fun.”

Guinevere took his hands. “Oh RJ. I won’t be gone forever. Look, I know you don’t like the Brotherhood. But we talked about this. Danse won’t let anything happen to me. You can tell him you’ll kick his ass if he does, ok?” She grinned.

RJ sighed. “Find me some Bourbon, Guinny. See ya later.” 

He wandered deeper into the diner. Guinevere knew there was something more bothering him. RJ had bonded with her tightly, and it had been just the two of them against the world for the longest time. Now she was dividing her interests between him and the Brotherhood. That had to be hard for RJ. She wished she could impress upon him that she was never going to abandon him. But only time would prove that.

Hancock sauntered over as Danse climbed back into his power armor. “Don’t know how you guys can move around in there,” he said. “You take care of our girl, or you’re gonna have a ghoul problem.”

Danse turned around and looked down at him. “Understood,” he said and motioned to Guinevere. “Let’s move out soldier.”

* * *

She had followed him for an hour before asking where they were going.

“Our new recruit, Initiate Price, mentioned a group of super mutants. Thought we could take them out.”

Guinevere felt a cold chill creep up her spine. She stopped. Danse turned around.

“What is it Initiate?”

“I...uhh...can we do something else? Ferals? Raiders?”

He gave her a rather perturbed look. “You live with a bot, a mercenary and a ghoul. Please don’t tell me that you have a super mutant acquaintance also? Your choice of comrades leaves much to be desired, Initiate Stanton.”

She swallowed hard. “Of course I don’t hang out with super mutants! I hate them!”  She looked frightened, and he regretted his harsh words.

My apologies,” he said. “That was out of line. Your private life is none of my business. I was simply surprised at the ghoul.”

She felt uncomfortable. “Ghouls are just irradiated people. They aren’t evil and they aren’t monsters. John is my family. And the bot...Codsworth...he’s all I have left of my...of...the other world. I’m not giving them up. Not ever.”

It crossed her mind that she was once more disappointing the Paladin. It was though everything she did was an affront to him. She was afraid to imagine what he must have thought of her when he saw her filthy appearance earlier. But she had a right to live as she pleased and nothing she did or who she did it with was hurting anyone.

Danse saw the unhappiness on her face and gave himself a hard mental kick. He felt that most of the things he said upset her. This one person, whom he wanted to win over, was quite a challenge.  “Please forgive me. No one is asking you to give anything up. I’m sure your friend is a fine...person. He’s very protective of you.”

“What makes you say that?” she asked.

“He made it clear I was to have a ghoul problem if I allowed anything to befall you.”

Guinevere sighed heavily and put her hand over her face, shaking her head. “Oh John,” she said. “Both of them can be a bit intense. I’m sorry he did that. They think I’m made of glass or something.”

Danse tilted his head a little. “You do seem to have a certain quality about you that inspires such thoughts. However, even a glass soldier can be trained to be a formidable opponent.”

Guinevere laughed. “Do I actually look that fragile?”

“Yes,” said Danse.

She pointed her weapon at him and imitated it’s sound. “Death becomes you.”

Danse smiled and shook his head. “You are quite entertaining Initiate. Let’s move on. That super mutant compound is about 45 minutes from here.” He turned and walked on.

Guinevere’s expression darkened once more.

“I’m scared of super mutants!” she blurted out. “They make me sick, and terrify me. And the hounds...they’re horrific. I thought RJ was killed by one when we found your soldier in one of their bases. It just grabbed him and threw him like he was nothing! I can’t...I just…” She had no words left to describe how she was feeling. All Guinevere wanted to do at that moment was go home where she felt safe.

Danse walked slowly back to her. 

“You feel that way because you haven’t been properly shown how to deal with them. They are vile and repulsive to be sure. But after we work together you won’t be afraid anymore.”

Guinevere felt sick inside, and she couldn’t put any faith in his words. She looked away.

“I’m sorry Paladin. I can’t get past this. I’d really rather not deal with them right now.”

He stepped out of his power armor and walked around it to face her. Tilting her head up, he smiled softly. “Guinevere, we’re all afraid of something out here. Sometimes it’s creatures, sometimes it’s something else. No living thing is fearless no matter how much they say they are. I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.”

She said nothing, but her eyes roamed his face. He had a scar across his right eyebrow that crossed down to his cheek. Carefully she reached up a hand and touched it with her fingertips. He closed his eyes, enjoying the tender gesture.

“How did you get this?” she asked, letting her fingertips trail down his cheek as she withdrew her hand.

“Shrapnel from a raider frag mine. I was training with my commanding officer. It was a cleverly hidden bomb. The raiders themselves must have forgotten about it because they took the brunt of the fallout.”

“Raiders aren’t very clever,” said Guinevere.

“Agreed. Now, are you ready to move on?”

“You aren’t going to let me get out of this, are you…” she half asked, half stated.

He shook his head. “You’re capable of great things. I aim to see you reach those goals.”  Without another word, he stepped back into his suit and moved on.

Guinevere followed silently, wanting to talk to him but not knowing what to say.  She thought about RJ and the car, and where she was going to find some red paint for it. A strange sound from her pip-boy made her give it a glance.

“Paladin Danse,” she called out. “Wait a moment. My pip-boy is acting up.”

He trudged back to her. “Power issues?”

“No. Look. It’s indicating something. A vault?” Puzzled she looked around. There were some hillocks and rocky formations but nothing to suggest a vault.

“Sounds like a malfunction,” said Danse. “Let’s move on.”

“No...sorry...it doesn’t malfunction. There’s a vault here somewhere. Want to try and locate it?”

“Alright,” said Danse.

She started with the rocky outcroppings. The first few didn’t have anything interesting. The smaller one sported thick vines which grew in a tangle at the top and draped down like a brown and green curtain. She shoved it aside and shone her pip-boy light into it.

“Look there’s some sort of cave back here.” She checked her weapon and turned off the safety. The darkness beyond smelled like a cave, dank and earthy.

“I can’t fit in there in my power armor,” said Danse behind her.

“Could you take it off?” she asked. 

“I haven’t got much in the way of protection without it,” was his reply. “The jumpsuit only has mediocre ratings.”

Guinevere realized that Paladin Danse was reluctant to do anything without his power armor. Perhaps that was his fear: being vulnerable in combat. The suits gave a false sense of security. Soldiers weren’t invulnerable when wearing them and she knew that many combatants took greater risks when they did. Nate had brought home many of those stories.

“Well I’m not letting you in there alone,” said Danse and she heard him exit his suit and remove the core. “I’ll take point. You never know what might be down there.” 

He stepped around her and carefully moved deeper into the cave, Guinevere doing her best to illuminate the way in front of him. The ceiling seemed to drop and the walls closed in around them, forcing her to walk behind and making it difficult to use the light. 

Danse was about to suggest they turn back and leave as it appeared there was nothing further, when he suddenly stopped.

“There’s a ladder here. Metal. Leading down. I’ll check it out. You stay up here until I say it’s safe.”

Guinevere lay down on her belly and lit the way for him as best as she could. She couldn’t see him anymore when he called up to her.

“Ladder doesn’t go all the way down. There’s a drop. You can come down but move slowly, Initiate.”

Gingerly she crept down the ladder until her feet couldn’t find any more rungs.

“Crouch,” he ordered. “I’ll lift you down.”

She felt his hands around her waist, and she let go. Danse placed her gently on the uneven ground. She turned around, thinking he would let go of her but he didn’t. 

Guinevere found herself as close to him as one could get without being intimate. He looked down at her, the shadows cast by the pip-boy light making his eyes appear like dark pools. For a long moment neither of them spoke, and simply stared at one another.

Guinevere wanted to put her arms around his neck and press closer against him. Instead she lay her hands lightly on his arms.

Danse disengaged first. He dropped his hands from her waist and stepped back. “The ground is uneven here. Watch your step.”

A heavy sigh escaped her, but her pip-boy’s alerts distracted her. “My pip-boy is still pinging me. Whatever is setting it off is up ahead.”

They carefully crept forward until the narrow passageway suddenly opened out. Ahead of them was the familiar sight of a vault door.

“Looks like you were right,” said Danse. “But this vault...it’s in a strange location. Almost as though they didn’t want this one found. How will we get inside? I don’t see a computer.”

Guinevere stepped up to a console. Pulling a plug and cord from her pip-boy she plugged it in.

“Recognize Hawthorne, Guinevere Hannah. Welcome, Mrs. Hawthorne,” said a synthesized female voice.

There was a loud whirring and clanking and the massive door began to move.

“Guinevere Hannah. Lovely name,” said Danse. “But Hawthorne…?”

She smiled. “Thank you, Paladin. Hawthorne was my married name. It’s...long ago and far away. Part of a different life.”

She looked down at the console and unplugged the cord. She heard Danse shift on the gravelly ground behind her.

“You know you can speak to me on any matter. It doesn’t have to be related to our mission or to the Brotherhood. Part of being in Recon Team Gladius is that we trust each other. With everything.”

She didn’t turn around. “I...I know. I just need the past to  _ be _ the past.”

Danse was slightly saddened that she wouldn’t open up to him, but he still had hopes that spending more time together would change that.

“Do all vault dwellers have those pip-boy units?” he asked, switching to a different topic.

“No,” Guinevere replied. “Only the staff had them. And not all of them. I found mine on the body of the vault overseer. I didn’t see any units on the other skeletons. Maybe there will be some here. I really don’t know how they decided who should have them.”

“It would be of immense help to have a few of those units. Elder Maxson would be thrilled to get his hands on them.”

Guinevere stepped forward onto the metal walkway. It was dark, the vault seemed to have no generators functioning. Her pip-boy light was all they had.

“We need to find the power generators. Paladin, do you have any power cores on you?”

He nodded. “A soldier is always prepared.”

“I figured you would have some. I’ll lead the way since I have the light source.”

“Understood. Be ready for anything.”

There was an eerie silence around them. Abandoned vaults were always quiet, but this one had a different feel to it. Something felt off.

“I can see how this place might inspire fear. Thankfully my training…” He stopped dead and spun around. “What was that?”

“What was what?” she asked, having heard nothing but her own heartbeat.

“It sounded like someone whispering behind me.”

She turned her light and scanned around. “I don’t see anything but rock everywhere. Still, I don’t like the way it feels down here. I’m not sure I want to go further.”

Danse sighed. “I know what you mean. However, this could be an excellent source of technology for the Brotherhood. It’s worth looking into.”

She unlatched her pip-boy. “Paladin, if I let you use this down here for the light, can you go first? I’m not a very brave girl.” She laughed lightly and held the unit out to him.

He looked astonished. “You’re trusting me with this? Thank you!” He took it carefully and attached it to his arm, then stepped off ahead of her.

They searched the computer banks for a power core outlet but found none near the entrance where it was supposed to be.

“I guess we have to go deeper than,” said Guinevere reluctantly. “But the doors need power to open. This might be an abortive attempt. Which is ok with me. It’s creepy down here.”  

The feeling of unease didn’t leave them as they slowly moved further into the vault. Guinevere walked close behind Danse.

_ “Get out!” _

The harsh whisper came from behind her and she spun around. “W...what was that? Did you hear it?”

“I heard nothing but our footsteps,” answered the Paladin, turning and illuminating the hallway behind her.

“It sounded like a voice saying  _ ‘get out’ _ .”

“This place is set up for us to hear things. It’s all in our heads, I assure you. Let’s keep searching for the power banks. Light will make everything less intimidating.”

Guinevere was on edge. She was sure she had heard those words. Then with a shriek she leaped forward, bumping into Danse.

“Initiate! Get a hold of yourself!” he cried in surprise.

“I’m sorry but something touched my arm!” she exclaimed.

“There’s no one here but us so far. Anything dangerous wouldn’t have simply touched your arm.”

He shone the light around. A broken bit of hose hung from the ceiling and was swaying slightly. “There. You must have brushed against that hose.”

Guinevere took a deep breath and centered herself. “You’re probably right. This place is making me jumpy. I never was into the scary Halloween scene!”

“Halloween...oh you mean the autumn ritual of going round dressed as monsters and receiving treats?”

Guinevere nodded. “Yes! I only did happy black cats and pumpkins with friendly faces. Oh I don’t like being scared!”

Danse gave her shoulder a friendly squeeze. “The old world had some interesting events. I look forward to hearing about more of them. As for this place, some light will remove the fear factor. Just stay close to me and use the light from your rifle.”

The soft blue glow from her weapon didn’t do much to light up the area around her and she kept her eyes on Danse’s back.  The super mutant mission suddenly didn’t seem quite so bad anymore. At least it was outside and not in some forsaken vault. She wished she hadn’t suggested exploring it. At that time anything was a better option than super mutants.

They came to a door with an electrical panel that looked haphazardly removed then shoved back together.

“Hey,” said Guinevere. “I can hot wire that maybe.”

“What is hot wire?” asked Danse.

Guinevere grinned and stepped in front of him. “It’s how we used to start cars when you didn’t have the key.”

“Are you telling me you stole  _ cars _ ?” Danse asked in astonishment.

Guinevere laughed. “No of course not! The military police often appropriated vehicles and more often than not the keys were lost or tossed or who knows what. Nate showed me how to expose the wires and hot wire them so they’d start. It works on most things with electrical wiring. You just have to know which to twist together.” She pulled off the cover and extracted a pile of wires.

“Nate...was he your husband?” asked Danse softly.

“Yes, he was. He died in the vault.”

“I’m very sorry, Guinevere,” Danse said.

Her hands shook slightly and she had to close her eyes. She didn’t want to be in a vault thinking about Nate. “It’s in the past now. I...I’ve moved on.” Everything in her voice told him she didn’t want to speak of it and he respected that and stood quietly, holding the light on her project.

Suddenly the door hissed open. It was pitch black beyond, no computer banks. There were some shelves with random remains of canned and dried food, a first aid kit with stimpaks, radaway and rad x.  Guinevere also found a few dispensers of jet which she slipped into her pocket for Hancock.

“Nothing in here worth taking,” said Danse. He stepped over to another door. “Looks like that old skill of yours is needed again, Initiate.”

Guinevere pulled off the cover, extracted the wires, and went to work. It went quicker this time, and the room beyond looked like a laboratory of some kind. A long table filled with beakers, test tubes and myriad equipment sat in the center of the room. Shelves with empty boxes lined the sides. 

Still no computer banks. Danse moved aside a pile of crates. Another doorway appeared which was partially open, the door having been broken.

Danse squeezed himself through it, then held his hand out for Guinevere. She took it and he pulled her to his side.

“Oh my word!” she breathed.

“What in the twisted hell…” said Danse.

Hanging from the ceiling were bones of all shapes and sizes. On the floor was a concentration of candles, most burned down. Around them were arranged skulls with arm and hand bones forming a circle. It looked like a macabre prayer circle.  

The walls were spray painted with a dark red which had dripped down. It looked at first like whomever had wanted to write something but then changed their mind, spraying over the letters and creating a hellish chaos.

“Let’s get out of here,” suggested Guinevere. “I don’t want to run into whoever thought this was a good idea.”

She backed up through the doorway, Danse following her.

There was a door on the far side of the laboratory room and she went towards it, using her weapon as a light. 

Without warning the door opened and something grabbed her and pulled her through, the door slamming shut behind her.

“Danse!” she screamed as she pitched forward into the darkness.

He turned and saw the door close and ran, slamming into it. “Guinevere!” he yelled.

She tried to regain her balance but tripped over something and fell, searching wildly around for the source of what had grabbed her. She was separated from Danse and her pip-boy, the only light she had was from her weapon which was still tightly clutched in her hand.

“Danse? Can you hear me?” she shouted.

She heard the faint pounding on the heavy metal door and his shouts.  Trembling, she got up on all fours and crawled back to the door. There was no electrical panel on her side.

“I can’t open the door from here!” she called out. 

“There’s a panel here but I don’t know how to do it!” was his muffled response.

As her eyes adjusted, Guinevere saw the blinking lights of a computer panel. “I think I found the power bank. But I don’t have the cores.”

“Look for another door. I’ll do the same!” she heard Danse shout.

Guinevere didn’t want to look for anything. She wanted to curl up in a ball and wait for whatever it was that attacked her to either eat her or let her go.

_ I’m so not into this _ , she thought.  _ I’m not brave enough to be part of the Brotherhood. I’m scared of everything! _

She didn’t want to disappoint Danse. She liked him, wanted to impress him and had done the complete opposite. Now she was trapped in a room heaven knew how far down in the earth, with no discernible way out and no light to find it. She slumped down against the wall and drew her knees up to her chest.

She heard her father’s voice in her mind.  _ “Find order, Guinevere.” _

_ I can’t find order. I don’t know what to do! _

Her mind spun in 100 different directions. Each thought more frightening than the last. Every scenario left her horribly murdered by some unknown monster like in the horror movies her friends in the old world had loved, that she had hated.

_ I’m not going to make a good soldier, _ she thought miserably.  _ Soldiers are supposed to be brave. They save people...and I can’t even save myself out of a room! _

She sat for awhile in abject misery then her mind cleared. The logical mind her father had trained into her asserted itself.

Something had opened the door. Something had pulled her into the room.

There had to be a way in and a way out.

She got to her feet, weapon at the ready and used it’s light to scour the wall foot by foot, top to bottom. She was rewarded with another stimpak and dispenser of jet. At first her search for any clues was fruitless, then she noticed that one of the sections of the computer banks was slightly askew.

Behind her she heard Danse’s weapon go off. He was trying to burn the door down. But vault doors didn’t go down that easily.

Getting down on the ground, Guinevere saw that the metal banks had indeed been moved.  She pulled it. 

Surprisingly it moved fairly easily with very little sound. There was a person sized hole in the wall, and she crawled through. It opened out into another room with more computer banks. There was a terminal with a flashing cursor.

“Bingo!” she said jubilantly.

Hacking into the terminal wasn’t the easiest thing she’d ever done, but it had one control: doors. There were two choices: proximity and timer. She went with proximity. 

Crawling back, she made her way to the door she had been pulled through. At her approach, the door hissed open. Danse was standing there looking quite impressed.

“Guinevere! Good job soldier!”

She threw her arms around his waist. He didn’t hesitate in returning her embrace and held her tightly to him. “It’s alright,” he said gently. “We’re both fine. How did you open the door?”

She looked up into his shadowed face. “I’ll show you. But first let’s get a core into this computer bank.”

The generators kicked on with a loud clanking and humming. Small lights set in the wall along the ceilings came to life and the vault lost some of it’s ominous feel.

“There’s a hole in the wall behind here. Someone opened that door, pulled me in and must have escaped through here.”

Danse peered through the hole into the other room. “Someone pulled you? We aren’t alone then.”

“I just don’t understand it. It would have been easy for them to kill us from the shadows. Dragging me in here seems odd, like a scare tactic.”

Danse narrowed his eyes. “Well it’s going to find out that the Brotherhood doesn’t get scared off.”

Guinevere poked his back. “This end of the Brotherhood anyway.”

Danse crawled through the hole into the other room.  There was evidence of life. Open cans of food, containers of water, plates and cutlery were strewn everywhere. A sleeping bag lay on a mattress in the corner, and a duffel bag lay across both.

A door half opened stood on the far side of the room, and Guinevere saw it move.  She grabbed Danse and pointed, then put a finger to her lips.

Moving silently, weapons ready, they crept up. Danse nodded to her and pointed his weapon into the room.

“Don’t move!” he shouted.

A pitiful voice responded. “Please! Don’t hurt me! This is my home! My home!”

“Come out of there!” Danse ordered. He stepped back but didn’t lower his weapon.

Slowly a figure emerged from the storage room.

It was a young ghoul. He had his hands up, and his head down. He wore a flannel shirt, a ballcap and jeans. His feet were bare.

Guinevere lowered her weapon. “Hey there,” she said softly. “Were you the one that pulled me into the room?”

“Yes,” the ghoul answered miserably.

“Why?” she asked.

“I just wanted to scare you so you’d go away. This is where I live. I don’t have anything to steal. Please go, and leave me alone.”

Guinevere walked towards him. “How long have you been down here? Were there others?”

He nodded. “They left. The ones that looked like me. The others died. The originals.”

Guinevere was puzzled. “The originals? What do you mean?”

“The originals lived here when the bombs fell. It was long ago. I was born here. My parents died. But...something happened to me. I...well...I turned into a monster. Me and a few others. The others left. But I wouldn’t go. The upside is a bad place! They promised to come back with food but the upside killed them because they never came back.”

Danse relaxed slightly. “Are you aware of what you are? You are a ghoul.”

The young man looked up. “A ghoul? That sounds like a monster to me.”

Guinevere shook her head. “No. You were severely affected by radiation. It’s mutated you and you’ll live for a very long time.  There are ghouls that are from the time before the bombs fell. What’s your name?”

“Barnaby. Barnaby Byrne,” he answered shakily.

“I’m Guinevere. And that’s Danse. Barnaby, the world outside isn’t bad. People have been surviving there for a long time. There are places you can live. With other ghouls if you wanted. Or with regular people. You don’t need to be alone.”

He looked away. “I...I’m not sure I’d fit in anywhere. I don’t know anything about surviving.”

“I didn’t either at first. But you’ll learn. I have friends who will help you, if you want to give it a try?”

Barnaby shrugged. “I don’t know...I’m not sure.”

Danse pointed behind him. “Are you responsible for that horrific display of bones in the other room?”

Barnaby looked shocked. “Me? Oh no...no! That was Endicott. He read in a book that if you put bones in a circle and said some special words that the upside wouldn’t kill you. He made bone necklaces for everyone to wear. I...I threw mine away.”  Barnaby lowered his arms, and slumped in a posture of defeat.

“Who do the bones belong to?” asked Danse.

“The ones who died,” answered Barnaby. “We buried them in the tunnels but Endicott dug them up. I...I’m glad he’s gone. He scared me.”

“Barnaby, how much food do you have left?” asked Guinevere.

He shrugged. “A few cans maybe. I don’t know.”

“Then what will you do when they run out?”

He shuffled his feet. “Die, I guess.”

“No...oh no Barnaby! You don’t have to die! Not like this, with a whole world to explore! I can help you.”

He wrapped his arms around himself. “I’m...I’m not sure…”

Guinevere held her hands out to him. “You won’t ever be if you don’t at least try. Get your things together in that duffel bag, and we’ll take you somewhere safe. It’s a place I used to live in long ago. There are good people there. They’ll teach you things and you can start building a life or helping others to do so. Come on, Barnaby.”

He carefully accepted her outstretched hands and cautiously lifted his head and met her eyes.  He had a kindly expression, but deeply concerned. His eyes were black, like that of Hancock’s.

“You’re not afraid of me,” Barnaby said.

“No, I’m not. One of my dearest friends is a ghoul. You’re going to meet him. His name is John. Would you believe he’s a mayor of one of the towns here?”

Barnaby looked amazed. “He...he is? A ghoul like me can be a mayor?”

She nodded and squeezed his hands. “A ghoul can be anything they want to be! Come on Barnaby! Will you come with us?”

Reluctantly the ghoul began to round up this and that, throwing it into his bag. He found his boots and pulled them on, taking his time with the laces.

“Danse, why don’t you have a look around for anything you think is useful. I’ll help Barnaby.”

“Alright. Meet you back here.”

Barnaby led them slowly back to the entrance. Danse had found a few bits of tech worth taking, but no pip-boys and nothing of real value. 

There were no computers with any information about the vault’s original purpose, and Barnaby had no idea about anything. He had been born there and intended to die there. Guinevere hoped that he would find a new life.

“Let’s take him to Sanctuary via Red Rocket. I’d like him to meet Hancock,” suggested Guinevere.

“Very well,” said Danse.

* * *

Barnaby liked Hancock, and when the mayor led him off to Sanctuary, the young ghoul already looked less afraid and more curious about the world around him.

“Will you come and visit me?” he asked Guinevere shyly.

“I most definitely will!  And you can come here to my home whenever you wish. Hancock is usually around.”

“Thank you,” the young ghoul said. “I’d like that very much.”

“You know, we shouldn’t be encouraging those...those things,” said Danse after the ghouls had left.

“That’s a terrible thing to say!” cried Guinevere.  “They’re people! People who’ve gotten physically sick! How can you be so unkind Danse?”

He looked contrite. “I’m sorry, Initiate. I don’t mean to offend you. The Brotherhood prides itself on remaking the world. Getting rid of all abominations.”

“Ghouls are not abominations. They didn’t ask to be this way. They aren’t evil or violent any more or less than regular people. I want to remake the world too Paladin, but ghouls are part of that world.  I know you don’t like them. But please...at least judge each one you meet on their own merits. I’m not a hateful person. But if the Brotherhood is hateful...I don’t think I want to be part of it.”

Danse rested his hands on her shoulders. “We aren’t hateful. Some of us are more black and white in our thinking, but it’s for the good of mankind. I ask the same of you. Get to know us as individuals. Meet with Elder Maxson, visit the Prydwen. Don’t give up on us yet...Guinevere.”

He spoke her name softly and his eyes were kind, entreating. She got the feeling that he genuinely wanted her to stay.  She nodded. 

“I said I would, and I will. But Danse, when we meet people in need I’m going to want to help them. Even if they are addicts or ghouls...or both. This has to be ok with you or ...or it won’t work out.”

The Paladin smiled at her. “You have a good heart. How could I fault you for that. We have an understanding then.”

She placed one of her hands over his for a moment and nodded.

“Now. You said there was a super mutant problem we were going to sort out?”


	7. First Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere finally opens up to Danse and the couple admit their feelings for one another.

* * *

Guinevere and Danse spent a week together training at the station and out in the field. Her confidence with super mutants went up, and although she’d never like being near them, she felt more secure in engaging them.

She met Brent Price and liked him instantly. He was kind and funny and had a great touch with mechanical objects. He said his ambition was to learn to fly vertibirds, to be a pilot. Danse promised him that he’d make sure he was placed into a Lancer unit.

Rhys, as expected, had put Guinevere in the neutral zone and growled and complained about Brent instead. Poor Brent couldn’t do anything right in his eyes, but Initiate Price just laughed and carried on. He’d been around worse people than Knight Rhys.

She and Danse had taken on another mission to locate some tech, and after clearing the place out, they made use of a fire that the raiders had left.

Guinevere set about making them something to eat while Danse went over his power suit.

“You don’t need to fuss over me, Initiate,” he said. “I can see to my own food once I’m done here.”

“I know I don’t need to. I want to. RJ and John said the same thing to me and they finally realised I’m going to fuss over them regardless so they just enjoy it. I like taking care of people I care about.”

He stood and looked over at her. “I take that as a great compliment. Thank you.”

“You’re easy to care about Danse.”

“I am?”

She nodded and stirred the meal. “Mmhm. You were welcoming when we first met. A bit wary yes but there was something honest about you which I liked right away. Kind of like Nate.”

Danse put down his oil can and wiped his hands, then went and sat down next to her.

“I’d like to hear about him,” he said softly.

Guinevere silently stirred. Then she took a deep breath. “We were childhood sweethearts. He enlisted, and we were married the day he finished boot camp.”

She smiled in remembrance. “His father and my mother were colleagues. Professors of literature. He and his sisters were named after famous writers. Nathaniel Hawthorne. That was his name.”

Danse smiled. “Interesting family ritual.”

“They were a wonderful family. I was so lucky to have been a part of it. I...I used to wonder if James and Julia survived the bombs. I imagined that maybe they became ghouls and I could find them so we could be a family again. But if they survived in any other way they’d be long gone by now. They lived in New York.”

“What about your parents?”

“My father was pretty high up in the military. He was strict with me while I was growing up. His big thing was clearing emotion away and thinking through a problem. He taught me how to handle weapons. When I left the vault I was so grateful for those lessons! I always hoped that the military got him and mom to safety and they lived out their days in a vault. They knew Nate and I had purchased a spot in 111. Dad was happy about that.”

Danse let her stir and sit quietly for awhile. He could see that she was remembering things, sensitive things.  _ Talk to me, Guinevere, tell me everything so I can promise I’ll do what it takes to help you. _

“Danse?” she looked at him directly then, and the sorrow in her eyes made his breath catch. “Nate and I had a little boy. His name was Shaun. He was only a few months old when the bomb fell and we ran into the vault.”

He listened in rapt horror as she told him in great detail of her experience that terrible day when everything changed. 

“I don’t know who took my son, but most people say the Institute. I don’t even know where to start looking, or how to find them.”

She blinked and tightened her lips to force the tears back. She didn’t want to cry in front of her commanding officer no matter how much she felt for him. 

“Guinevere…” he held out a hand to her. Slowly she reached back and took it. He stared deep into her eyes.  “The Institute is the epitome of evil and what is wrong with this world. I swear on everything I hold dear that the Brotherhood will stand behind you and help you find your son and take them down. No matter how long it takes. We  _ will  _ be victorious.”

Even RJ and Hancock hadn’t ever been able to make her so solemn a promise. The honesty in Danse’s eyes pushed her over the edge and her tears slid down her cheeks. He squeezed her hand.

“Don’t ever be afraid to tell me how you feel, or what you think. Be insubordinate if you have to, to make me understand. Do I have your word on that?”

She nodded. “I wonder if my baby will even remember me, if I ever find him.”

“I believe he will. A bond like that can’t be undone by time. We’ll find him.”

Guinevere reluctantly released his hand and resumed her dinner preparations.

“I think I’m afraid of Elder Maxson,” she said suddenly after several moments of silence.

Danse raised his eyebrows. “I suppose Haylen has been filling your mind with those ideas. Elder Maxson isn’t a man to fear. He saved the Brotherhood. We were heading down a dead end path, fragmented and lost. He stepped up and gave us our pride again, gave us a proper direction. You will like him.” 

She stood and dug in her pack for plates and cutlery. Serving up his meal, she handed it to him. 

“You are going to spoil me, Guinevere,” he said.

“You deserve to be spoiled,” she responded and sat down with her own food.

They ate in companionable silence. 

“May I ask you about 111?” Danse asked.

“I don’t know much about it at all but go ahead.”

“You are aware that every vault was an experiment of some sort. Was yours the cryonics project?”

She nodded. “Yes. I hacked into the computers when I woke up and read about it. It was never supposed to be sustainable for as long as it was. The cryopods run on nuclear power, and they are still operational. It was the life support that failed. The people that staffed it all left.”

Danse was shocked. “While you were all in the pods?”

“Yes. Life support failed on all of them except ours. The staff left us to die. It was in their mandate to study the long term effects of cryosleep. They were told just to record what they saw. They weren’t supposed to help us in any way even if we woke up. We were just ...lab rats to them.”

He shook his head in disgust. “Unbelievable.”

“I don’t know why ours didn’t fail. Mine and Nates. Maybe in time they would have as well. Whoever took Shaun awoke Nate. I don’t know why I woke up too. Maybe we were on the same conduit...but it’s over. I’m here and I have to make the best of it.”

“You aren’t alone. You have your family. You have the Brotherhood. And...and you have me.”

She smiled at him then, and his heart melted. He wanted to hold her, to kiss her, to tell her that he was falling in love with her. But it would seem opportunistic. She was vulnerable. He couldn’t take advantage of that.

“We should try and get some rest. I feel secure knowing we cleared this place, and this room is easy to defend.”

Guinevere took off her jacket and balled it up into a pillow. She curled up beside Danse, her back against his side. 

She liked the comfort his presence gave. She had spent all her time with RJ, and thought she could never feel as safe with anyone else, but Danse was challenging that thought.

“Goodnight, Danse,” she whispered.

“Rest well soldier,” he said affectionately.

Guinevere dozed off, but awoke some time later and couldn’t fall back to sleep. She replayed his words in her mind over and over.  _ You have me. _

She noticed that he had put his own jacket over her, and the fire had burned down to embers.

She sat up, expecting to find Danse curled up asleep. He was standing just outside the door with his weapon.

“Danse?”

He turned sharply. “Is everything alright?” he asked.

“Yes. Why are you standing out there?”

“Just standing guard over you.”

She stood up. “You need to rest too. Let me take over while you sleep.”

She stood in the doorway and looked up at him. “What you said earlier. That I have the Brotherhood behind me and...that I also have you.”

He nodded.

She caught her lower lip between her teeth for a moment. “Do I? Do I have you?”

Danse stepped towards her and put his weapon down on the remains of a bookcase. “Yes, Guinevere, you do.”

He reached a hand out and gently moved her hair off her face, then rested his hand on her cheek.

She didn’t move. She was afraid he would throw those walls up again and turn away from her.

“You have  _ me _ too,” she whispered.

He shifted, and stepped closer so there was barely any space between them. Danse placed his hand on the small of her back and drew her against him the rest of the way.

Guinevere thought her heart would burst from her chest and flutter off. He was taller than she was by a fair margin, and she rested her arms against his chest.

“Danse,” she whispered.

He bent closer to her. “Eric,” he whispered. “Eric William Danse.”

Guinevere reached up and stroked the side of his head tenderly. He closed his eyes with a soft sigh.

“I can’t fight this anymore,” he said.

“Then don’t,” she responded and parted her lips

Slowly, gently, he brought his lips to hers. Guinevere reached up with her other hand and put it around his neck. She had waited so long for that moment and her entire body felt like jelly.  If Danse hadn’t been holding onto her, she was sure she would have slid onto the floor in a heap.

“You have captivated me, Lady Guinevere,” he said against her lips, then kissed her again, and she responded, her heart bursting with emotion.

Danse drew back and rested his forehead against hers. “Where do we go from here?” he asked softly.

She pressed against him and gave him a sultry smile. “Well, I have a pretty good idea where I’d like to go…” She turned and looked over her shoulder at her sleeping place.

He shook his head. “No Guinevere. Not here, not in this dreadful place.” He bent and kissed her again, relishing the feel of her soft lips against his.

He led her back to the fire and pulled her down beside him. He wrapped his arms around her and leaned back against a piece of toppled furniture. “You need to rest. We’ve a long way to go in the morning.”

Guinevere hugged him close, her head on his chest. She listened to his heartbeat and felt him kiss the top of her head.

“Eric?”

“Yes Guinevere?”

“Are you going to remember this in the morning? I mean us.” She lifted her head and looked up at him.

“Why would you ask that? How could I forget the most wonderful night of my life?”

She tilted her chin up, and he kissed her again.

“Because,” she said softly. “Every time we seemed to get closer before, you would shut down on me. I was so confused. I’ve had feelings for you since the day we met.”

He squeezed her tighter. “I’m so sorry for that. I had feelings for you as well, but I was distressed by them and did my best to keep them at bay. I never figured you would share them!”

“So we’re ok? Can I consider us...together?”

Danse laughed softly, a wonderful sound to her ears. “Yes, I’d very much like to consider us together.”

Guinevere sighed with joy. She nestled against him, and this time fell asleep and didn’t awaken until morning.

* * *

Danse had everything packed up and ready to go by the time Guinevere stirred. She awoke slowly, her jacket beneath her head and his covering her.

She remembered the night before and a huge smile appeared on her face.

“What a beautiful sight to see first thing in the morning,” said Danse smiling at her.

“Good morning, Eric,” she said. “It’s  _ your  _ smile that’s the best thing to wake up to.”  

She sat up and stretched, and he handed her a half of a mutfruit. “You had a good rest?” he asked.

“I would rather have awoken in your arms,” she said.

“I’m sorry. I did get everything ready to go. Guinevere, could we talk for a moment?”

She was about to take a bite of the fruit but stopped, her heart skipping a beat. 

“You haven’t changed your mind about us have you?” she asked, afraid.

“No. Please don’t think such thoughts.” Danse sat on the floor beside her. “I want you to know that I’ve...I’m...not experienced with anything like this. The truth is, I’ve never been with anyone before. I might make a lot of mistakes. I suppose I’m asking you for your forgiveness beforehand.”

She bit into the fruit, and said nothing for awhile. “Eric, no matter how many relationships a person has, each one is a whole new game. No one is a pro! Stop worrying. Just...be you and I’ll be me and everything will be fine.”

He nodded. “Thank you. I worry about displeasing you. However, I do have to ask that when we are on official Brotherhood missions, or among our brothers and sisters that we not act as we would when alone.”

She looked at him and finished off the rest of the mutfruit. “Is there a regulation against relationships within the Brotherhood? Amanda said there wasn’t. But you act as though there is.”

He shook his head. “There isn’t. But I feel that our focus must remain sharp. It will be hard, as being with you encompasses my thoughts, but it’s essential. As well, I would rather that others didn’t feel that there is a chance for preferential treatment.”

Guinevere sighed. “Ok so we can’t let anyone in the Brotherhood know we’re together? Not even Amanda?”

Danse reached out and took her hands. “I know you and Haylen are close, and I can’t forbid you to share this with her. I ask you to use discretion.”

Guinevere leaned forward and gave him a tender kiss. “I’ll do as you ask, Eric. I wouldn’t go against something you asked of me.”

“You are a wonderful woman, Guinevere. Thank you.”

“So, do you want to come and live at Red Rocket with me?” she asked hopefully.

Danse shook his head. “I can’t leave my post permanently. However, I can share time between the two locations. When I return to the station, will you accompany me?”

She thought about it. “I would, but it will be pretty stressful to keep our relationship secret from the others. Now that I’ve kissed you, I’m not sure I can go any length of time without it!”

Danse sighed. “I doubt that even our best efforts will be able to fool the keen eyes of Brandis. He approached me the day you and he had your conversation and said that he felt there was something going on between us. Jack doesn’t miss a thing.”

“Neither does Haylen,” she said with a laugh. “She’s been insisting you liked me from day one. While I was telling her that you didn’t!”

He looked disappointed. “Was I so terrible to make you think that?”

“I was really confused and a bit hurt by the hot and cold thing,” she said.

“If I behave badly, make sure to bring it to my attention immediately. I don’t want to hurt you Guinevere. In any way.”

She reached out and stroked his face. “You are so amazing, Eric. I feel lucky that you have feelings for me too.”

“I’m the fortunate one here,” he smiled, making her heart ache to kiss him again. He must have read her mind for he leaned close and brushed his lips against hers once more.

Guinevere locked her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, feeling an intense heat spread through her body with each heartbeat.

Danse too felt the fire in his veins, and his body responded to her in every way. Holding her tightly against him, he kissed her the way he had imagined he would, filled with passion and longing.  

He wanted her. He wanted her in every way possible, but the idea of showing her just how deep his feelings ran in a decrepit building with dead raiders strewn about was unappealing.  Guinevere deserved far better.

He drew back. “Guinevere, we need to stop.”

She looked at him. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Most certainly not. I’m not comfortable with going further. Not in this terrible place surrounded by death.”

She sat back and smoothed her hair. “I understand,” she said softly. “Let’s see how far we can get towards home.”

Danse walked beside her in his power armor, and told her of his humble beginnings in the capital wastes. She had laughed at the idea of so handsome and intelligent a man being a junk dealer.

“It was not glorious, but it was an honest living,” he said.

He shared with her the story of his best friend who had been altered into a super mutant. She understood his hatred then, and why he had a personal vendetta against them.

They took rest breaks to drink what was left of their water, eat the remains of the food, and hold each other, revelling in the joy they had found.

Danse sometimes grew quiet, and she left him alone to mull over his thoughts. She knew everything they were experiencing was new to him. She had loved Nate, but it was never with the fire she felt for Danse. With Nate it had been a slow meandering walk. They always knew they would marry and start a family. It was a deep understanding they had all through their teenage years and into adulthood. It was accepted by both their families that they would be together their entire lives. In that, they had been right.

“I wish I could hold your hand,” said Guinevere as they walked on.

Danse held his hand out but she wrinkled up her nose. “No, that’s your suit. Yuck!”

He laughed, turned to her and scooped her up. “I’ve eaten meals that weigh more than you!” He carried her for awhile, close enough to his face that she could kiss him when she wanted to. And she did.

“I’m glad you don’t put the helmet on,” she quipped.

“I do in combat.”

“Yes but in combat I’m more interested in staying alive than kissing you!”

“Valid point,” said Danse.

As twilight approached, they came upon a settlement. A wall made of wood, tires and chainlink fence surrounded it. There were concrete slabs in some places, turrets on the ramparts, and coils of barbed wire. A human and a Mr. Gutsy bot stood guard.

“Will you welcome travellers for the night?” asked Danse.

“You look like you’re in the army. Didn’t know the Commonwealth had one anymore,” said the man, curiously.

“I don’t believe it does,” responded Danse. “I’m Paladin Danse with the Brotherhood of Steel. This is Knight Stanton.”

Guinevere liked the man’s benign expression. She leaned forward conspiratorially. “I’m not really a knight,” she said in a loud whisper.  “I’m just his girlfriend.”

The man laughed. “Sucker for a guy in uniform aye? I hear ya. My sister’s the same.” He turned to the bot. “Gus, take them in to see Pierce.”

As Danse and Guinevere moved in through the gate, the man said “welcome to Fairfax. Enjoy your stay.”

They couldn’t believe what they saw.


	8. Fairfax

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere and Danse help the people of Fairfax; Guinevere is devastated by the loss of a friend; RJ plans to approach Guinevere about his feelings for her.

* * *

It was almost as though the war had never  happened. Fairfax had risen from the ashes of a former community, much like Sanctuary Hills. But Sanctuary had more dangerous ruins than decent buildings, while Fairfax had nothing that wasn’t beautifully repaired.

“Who  _ are _ these people?” asked Guinevere in amazement.

“I don’t know,” said Danse. “Just stay close to me and keep your eyes open. Be ready for anything.”

The citizens of Fairfax were decently dressed, looked well fed, and were socializing with one another happily. Some turned and waved at them. Guinevere smiled and waved back.

A small cottage sat on one side of the compound. The Mr. Gutsy pointed with one of it’s arms and they stepped inside.

An elderly man sat behind a desk. He looked up at them. “Ahh, newcomers to our fair town I see. And who might you be? I am called Pierce.”

“I am Paladin Danse of the Brotherhood of Steel. This is Knight Stanton.”

Guinevere gave a little wave.

Pierce nodded but didn't meet their eyes. “Can’t say I’ve heard of that military branch. Fairfax keeps to itself. We don’t bother with the outside except to work with traders. Grow our own food, raise our own beef like in the old days. What contributions do you bring to Fairfax?”

Guinevere looked confused. “Contributions?”

Pierce nodded. “Everyone here contributes to the welfare of the town. We have machinists, carpenters, farmers, even a vet.”

“We will not be staying,” said Danse. “Just seeking a safe place for the night. Come morning we will be returning to our post.”

Pierce nodded. “Travelers then. Very well. Though we could use a hefty fellow like you to move the new lumber around. And the kids have missed a few days of schooling what with the teacher being out sick. Attacked by a rad scorpion she was. Wandered too far from the gates.”

Guinevere looked over at Danse. “Maybe we could stay and help them, just for a bit? I’d love to work with the kids. Please Eric?”

She turned to Pierce. “I don’t know the first thing about teaching but I’d be happy to do  _ something _ with the kids.”

Pierce nodded and stood up stiffly, his body in obvious pain. Moving to the radio on the filing cabinet behind him, he spoke into the mic.

“Eliza, can you come to the office?”

A static voice answered in the affirmative.

Danse looked at Guinevere. “We need to be getting back to the station. It’s been over a week since we reported in.”

She gave him an entreating look. “I help people remember? And it’s kids, Eric.” Turning back to the old man she pointed to the radio. “Could we radio our base and check in? If everything’s ok, we can stay for a little while!”

Pierce shrugged. “If you know the frequency, go right ahead.”

Guinevere grinned and made a sweeping motion towards the radio. She could see the Paladin was wary and ill at ease. She moved her hand over the safety of her weapon and turned it off, letting him know that she had his back. He gave her an almost imperceptible nod and strode to the radio.

A young woman in her late teens bounded into the room. “What’s up Grandfather?” she asked. Seeing Guinevere and Danse, her face broke into a smile. “Newcomers! Welcome to Fairfax! The new frontier!”

“This is Eliza. My granddaughter. She’ll take you around the town to meet everyone. Eliza this is Knight Stanton and Paladin Danse.”

Eliza held out her hand. “Pleased to meet you! Which one are you?”

Guinevere laughed. “I’m Guinevere. Stanton. The metal man is Danse.”

Eliza’s eyes lit up. “Guinevere! That’s such a romantical name! Like from the books! I bet _his_ name is Arthur, like the King!” Eliza almost floated off the ground in a romantic haze. “Arthur and Guinevere!”

Guinevere started laughing. The wild eyed youth with the bright smile reminded her so much of the friends she'd had so long ago. “I hate to disappoint you, but his name’s not Arthur.”

Eliza looked at Danse, then back at her. “He looks like an Arthur and that’s good enough for me! When you’re ready, I’ll take you on tour, your majesties!” She made a sweeping bow and giggled.

Pierce sighed. “If you hadn’t guessed, Eliza is part of our entertainment crew. Art and culture is important to a town. She helps put on plays and organizes dances. We even have arts and crafts depending what the scav teams can find.”

Guinevere smiled. “Fairfax sounds like a really lovely place.”

Danse returned. “Haylen and Brandis send their regards. All is well. We can stay for a short while and assist the people of Fairfax if you wish.”

Eliza bowed to him. “The honor is ours, mighty King Arthur!”

The look on Danse’s face made Guinevere burst out laughing. “I’ll explain later,” she said.

Eliza led them through the entire town, and neither Danse nor Guinevere could believe what the settlers had accomplished.

Everyone had a task to perform, but they also crossed over to assist others. They attracted people occasionally, mostly traders who wanted a routine stopover.

Fairfax accepted everyone who was willing to do their part. Even those who couldn’t do anything when they arrived soon found themselves a place and a purpose.

“I love it here,” said Guinevere as they settled into their little guest house. “I’d be happy living here.”

“We will be living on the Prydwen when she arrives,” said Danse.

Guinevere’s face registered consternation. “What? No, I live at the Red Rocket. Aren’t you going to live with _us_ , Eric?”

He took her hands and sat on the bed. “Guinevere, you are part of the Brotherhood. We live together on board the Prydwen. I have my own quarters there.”

She shook her head. “And me? We aren’t going to be exposing our relationship so we won’t ever be together. I’m not ok with that! I want to fall asleep and awaken in your arms.”

“I never said this was going to be easy, Guinevere,” Danse said softly.

She looked unhappy. “Eric, if we’re going to live separate lives then it has to be 100%. I can’t...won’t...be an occasional interest to you when there isn’t anything else going on.”

She was dismayed. How could he think that it would be ok to have a secret relationship on a permanent basis? “Eric, you mean everything to me. I’m not afraid to show it. I don’t just love someone sometimes. I love them all the time.”

His eyes widened. “Are you saying...you’re in _love_ with me?”

She sighed deeply. “Haven’t you figured that out already? Yes, Eric Danse, I’m in love with you.”

He pulled her down to him and kissed her deeply. “Say it again Guinevere,” he breathed between kisses. “I want to hear you say it again.”

She drew back and looked into his eyes. “I love you, Eric.”

“I believe I love you too, Guinevere.”

Their kisses were alternatively tender and fiery. But Guinevere was bothered by what he had said in regards to their living arrangements, and she couldn’t get her mind off it.

“Eric, we need to work through this situation. I’m not going to live on the Prydwen. My home is with my family. I know I made it clear to you before I considered joining the Brotherhood."

He held her against him. “I don't wish to upset you and I want to be wherever you are. If that means the Red Rocket, or the station, or Fairfax, I don’t care. I don’t want to be without you.”

Guinevere kissed him. “I won’t mind being on the Prydwen sometimes. But I need to be able to explore this relationship freely. I love with everything I am. It’ll be hard on me to not touch you or kiss you when I want to.”

“I understand,” he said, kissing her forehead. “We’ll make it work, I promise.”

She was satisfied with that, and stood up. “I don’t think I could convince RJ and Hancock to live here at Fairfax. They like their solitude. And we worked hard to get that diner liveable.”

Danse smiled up at her. “You did an impressive job. I can imagine what a shambles it was when you found it. It’s a nice location and I’ll be happy wherever you are.”

She used the water basin to wash the dust off her hands and face. “You know Eric, I’m not sure what sort of challenges we're going to face together. I never thought it would be easy. But I’m willing to work through it.”

He walked up behind her and embraced her, kissing the side of her head. “As am I,” he whispered in her ear. “Just be patient with me. I’ve been alone so long I don’t even know how to act around you.”

“Just be yourself. I fell in love with you just as you are. You don’t need to change, and I hope I don’t either.”

Danse squeezed her gently. “No, you are perfect the way you are Guinevere.”

* * *

RJ walked up to Hancock put a large flat box on the table. “I’ve decided something,” he said, and opened the box. He lifted out a pale pink dress with tiny flowers.

“Oh,” said Hancock eying it and nodding. “Well I’m a bit surprised but I suppose the color could suit you.”

“Damn ghoul!” exclaimed RJ. “This is for Guinny. Took me ages to find one. Even Daisy had a hard time. I’m gonna do it, Hancock. I’m gonna tell her I love her.”

Hancock lit a cigarette. “About time MacCready. You sure she’s ready? For that matter are you?”

RJ put the dress back in the box. “Can’t really say. I know I am. I’ve been ready for awhile. She’s in my head 24/7. I miss her like crazy since she went off with tinman there.”

Hancock nodded. “Been gone awhile. She’s pretty into that whole Brotherhood thing. Problem is that I don’t think she’s gotten the whole picture on them.”

“Me either,” agreed RJ.

“Hate to say it kid but sorta worried that she’s not in it for the ideals.”

“What the hell do you mean by that?” asked the mercenary, lighting up his own cigarette and taking a swig from his bourbon.

“Danse. You remember when she first met him? The look in her eyes?”

“Freaking tinman. I told you that guy is a stuffed shirt. Cares about one thing and that’s killing stuff and playing soldier boy. They’re all like that.”

“Our girl can change hearts MacCready. Just keep it in mind. You gotta tell her how you feel but if she’s got her heart elsewhere not much you can do,” said Hancock as kindly as he could.

“I’m not worried about that guy,” scoffed RJ. “Me and Guinny are tight. I know she loves me too. She’s said so.”

“She says she loves Dogmeat too. And me. That’s how she is,” reminded Hancock.

“Well I already married her so I have dibs,” laughed RJ.

“You ever tell her about that?” asked Hancock.

RJ laughed. “Hell no! Suppose I should though. Think she’ll be pissed at me?”

“She was the one who started it all according to you. Or were you bullshitting?”

“We were both deep into the sauce. It was her idea to get married so we did. Statue in Concord did the deed!”

Hancock crushed out his cigarette. “Maybe I don’t really want to know, but did you two…”

RJ shook his head. “Nah. Told you she passed out. I just tucked her in and went to bed.”

Hancock got up from the couch and wandered over to the shelves and took down a bottle of vodka. “I hope it all works out for you. Complicated stuff. Some days I’m glad I’m a ghoul. Don’t need to worry about it.”

“Maybe one day you’ll find a ‘ghoul-friend’!” RJ laughed at his own joke while Hancock took a swig of his vodka and rolled his eyes.

“Hope sunshine gets back here soon. Starting to miss her myself.”

RJ took the box with the dress to his room and put it on his dresser. He was sure Guinevere would be ecstatic to receive it and he grinned at the thought.

* * *

Guinevere bonded with the people of Fairfax so easily. They were all so positive and happy, a stark contrast to most she had met previously.

Danse made himself useful carrying things back and forth. The power armor allowed him to do more than the citizens could, and when his power core expired, they happily gave him another one.

The Fairfax scavving teams seemed to be incredibly resourceful. They travelled in groups of four, two heavy weapons, a medic and someone who could work with computers, traps and locks. 

Their system seemed highly organized and no one went without if it could be helped. Guinevere met the children. There were only 8 of them, and they were all within a few years of each other. Eliza and a young man, Dan, were the only teenagers. She was 17 and he was 16. They weren't related but seemed as close as siblings.

They didn’t attend the schoolroom like the children did. Pierce worked with them a few times a week, and they seemed to have gotten a good basic knowledge base.

Guinevere tried to pick up the lessons where the teacher, Mrs. Gibbs, had left off. The children were polite if not a little bit on the wild side, so she and Danse invented a small obstacle course for them to exercise on. It helped and they were able to settle down to their lessons much easier.

Danse would watch her with them occasionally. She would comfort their little injuries and upsets, play with them, and engage with each of them on a personal level.

He caught himself imagining her holding _their_ child, being a mother again for their own family. It caught him off guard the first time and he wondered just how far he had fallen. He discovered that he no longer cared about anything as much as he cared about her.

They fell into a happy routine at Fairfax. Danse would often radio the station to find out how things were going. The team was managing fine, and they had even taken down an attempt by raiders to enter. He was satisfied that things were operating as they should.

Haylen reported that they had received word from the Prydwen that they had to stop and see to repairs to the vertibirds and would be further delayed. He was dismayed to hear that, but since he had decided to not make his residence aboard, it mattered less to him than it did before.

They had been there a week when the scav team asked him to accompany them on a run. He agreed after prompting by Guinevere. He wasn’t keen on leaving her at Fairfax alone, but she just chided him for being overprotective and to go with the team.

Guinevere had sent the children home at the end of the school day, and was walking back to the cottage.

“Guin? Is that you?”

She turned around in surprise. “Deacon?”

The railroad agent flashed her a smile. “In the flesh! What are you doing here? Secret mission? It’s been awhile, how are you?”

She smiled widely. “I’m doing great. I’m not alone anymore.”

He laughed and gave her a high five. “Right on! Knew it wouldn’t take long, a doll like you. Let me guess. MacCready right? Always knew that guy had it bad for you!”

Guinevere shook her head. “No, RJ and I are friends. He wasn’t ready for a relationship I don’t think.”

“You look disappointed about that,” observed Deacon.

“I love him,” she said candidly. “But you can’t force someone if they aren’t ready. Not looking at anyone in particular _ Deacon _ .”

He looked down and scuffed the dirt with the toe of his boot. “Yeah yeah I know. I’m sorry honey. But you found someone. Where’s he at? Going to introduce us?”

“He went out with the scavvers this morning. You can meet him when he gets back. I’ve been teaching while Mrs. Gibbs recovers. Rad scorpion got her.”

Deacon winced. “Ouch. I’m just here bringing a new synth in. Poor girl is a mess. Got picked up by some raiders who really did a number on her. Pierce is talking her to her now. So glad they have a place like this to go. Fairfax is our best kept secret.”

Guinevere felt the color drain out of her face.

“Secret? What do you mean? How is this place a secret?”

Deacon looked puzzled. “Fairfax is a synth stronghold. Well aside from the kids. They’re orphans the people here adopted.”

“Oh my heavens,” said Guinevere. “This whole place is a Railroad safehouse?”

He nodded. “If you didn’t know this, how did you come here?”

“We were on our way home. To Red Rocket. We needed a place to spend the night and ended up staying to help. I really love this place Deacon.”

He grinned. “Yep. Pierce and his people are awesome. So are you here with MacCready too? Probably. He never wanted you out of his sight!”

“No, I’m just here with Eric. He’s a Paladin with the Brotherhood of Steel. That’s more than enough protection for one girl!”

Deacon froze then gave his head a shake. “Woah. Wait. Did you say Brotherhood of Steel?”

She nodded happily. “He’s an amazing man Deacon. I can’t wait for you to meet him.”

He stepped closer to her, his voice low. “Are you telling me you hooked up with the goddamn Brotherhood of Steel?”

She was confused by his sudden change in demeanor. He grabbed her arm. “Where are you staying?”

She pointed and he dragged her quickly to the cottage and shut the door behind him.

Guinevere’s eyes were large and worried. “What’s the matter Deacon? Why are you looking at me like that?”

He had taken his trademark sunglasses off and was sitting on the bed staring at her, his eyes hard. “What does the Brotherhood hate more than super mutants and ferals?”

She shook her head. “I...I don’t know. Those robot things?”

“Synths, Guin. Synths! They outright murder  _ any _ synths. Not just the robotic ones, but the Gen 3s, like pretty much every person living here!”

Guinevere was trembling and she sat down slowly in a nearby chair. “You’re wrong. Eric wouldn’t murder anyone except ferals and super mutants. He’s never said he hated synths like these. Ever.”

“Shit Guin. You’ve put every single one of these people’s lives at risk!” Deacon looked around the room and saw her breastplate sitting on the table. He looked at her in disbelief. “Oh hell no! You didn’t…”

Guinevere nodded miserably. “You know I want the world back the way it was. The Brotherhood...Eric...they want the same things I do.” 

Deacon fell back on the bed, his hands over his face. “Argh! Of all the people in this world you could have decided to join, you pick  _ them _ ? They hate the Railroad. They hate synths. They steal and horde technology for themselves! Goddamn it Guin it would have been better if you joined the Institute!”

Her eyes filled with tears. “Deacon, stop it! No one in the Brotherhood has done anything terrible or said anything of the kind!”

He curled up dramatically. “This is a disaster. How could you do this? Ok...you didn’t know about Fairfax. But the  _ Brotherhood? _ You are like the sweetest, most loving person I’ve ever met...and you pick  _ them _ ?!”

She was frightened and confused by his harsh words. “If the Brotherhood are a threat they why did the people here let us in and welcome us?”

“Use your head Guin! If they refused to admit you the first thing to cross that guy’s mind would have been suspicion! Some of these synths know what they are. The rest believe they are human!” 

Guinevere couldn’t reconcile the funny, sweet man she had met when she first left the vault to the irate one before her. She had liked Deacon immensely, and in her loneliness bonded with him. After sharing his story with her, he’d made it clear that he could never again have an intimate relationship with another person, but they remained good friends. She had helped him and the Railroad several times using the dead drops to communicate. Deacon was incredibly guarded and never revealed the location of their HQ. She had respected that but they drifted apart not long after she'd met RJ. It had been over a year since she’d seen him last.

The disappointment in Deacon’s eyes tore at her heart and she let the tears fall from her eyes. Deacon looked over at her, then crawled off the bed. He knelt down at her feet and took her hands.

“I hate to do this dollface. Shit you know how I feel about you...I have to ask you to stay away from us. We have to consider you a hostile force now.”

“Deacon, no!” she sobbed. “You don’t even know Eric! He wouldn’t hurt these people!”

Deacon squeezed her hands. “Please...do one thing for me Guin. Just one last thing. If you cared about me at all.”

“You know I do!”

“Don’t tell him what these people are. Don’t tell him they’re synths. He’ll have them killed, Guin. You said he’s a Paladin. That’s a pretty high rank. He didn’t get there by not living up to their ideals. Please don’t say anything. Get your shit and leave here. Let these people have their lives.”

She sobbed pitifully and nodded.  “I won’t say anything. I’m not evil, Deacon! Neither is Eric!”

He stood up, and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. 

“Ok. That’s that then. Goodbye Guin. Good luck. Just...be careful.”  He put his glasses back on and took a deep breath before opening the door and leaving her alone.

She jumped up and ran after him. “Deacon! Wait!”

He turned and held both hands up and shook his head, then wheeled around and walked quickly away.

Devastated, Guinevere returned to the cottage, curled up on the bed, held onto her pillow and cried.

Danse returned to find her digging in the garden. He saw immediately that something was amiss with her.

“Guinevere? I can see that something is wrong. Will you tell me? Did something happen while I was gone?”

She shook her head. “I’m fine. Just tired perhaps. You know how children can be!”

“We made a promise to always communicate with one another,” said Danse. “I know you aren’t being completely honest with me.”

“I’m thinking that maybe we should consider heading home.”

“Alright. I thought you were happy here. Has the teacher gotten well enough to return to the classroom?” He asked.

Guinevere shrugged. “I’m not sure. This was never a permanent placement Danse.”

He blinked. “I’ve been demoted back to Danse have I? Talk to me, Guinevere. Have I done something to upset you?”

She stood up and dusted the earth off her hands and knees. Looking up into his eyes, she wrapped her arms around his waist.

“Eric, I saw a friend of mine today. He was...just...he didn’t want anything to do with me anymore when I told him I was with the Brotherhood. It hurt me. That’s all. I’ll be fine.”

He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry Guinevere. People often fear what they don’t understand. I’ve come into contact with such adverse reactions before. I imagine it’s far worse when a friend turns on you.”

She wanted to ask him about synths, but it wasn’t the time nor place. Deacon was right. She had to leave if her just being there was putting the citizens of Fairfax at risk. If they stayed and Danse discovered something...she realized as much as she loved him, she didn’t really know him. 

Her family and someone whom she trusted as a friend had all said the Brotherhood had some hardcore ideals that just weren’t good. All she could see was her love for Paladin Danse. Could she be making a big mistake?

Eliza begged her to stay until the party. “We’ve never had royalty come to our little soirees!” she cried. “Oh please fair Queen Guinevere! Stay a few more days!”

“You are impossible to say no to Eliza,” said Guinevere with a resigned sigh. “We’ll stay for the party but then we do have to get home. My family is missing me terribly.”

Eliza clapped her hands and jumped up and down.  “I’ll make sure it’s unforgettable! You won’t regret it, I promise!”

* * *

Eliza had found a dress for Guinevere to wear, and a navy blue button down shirt for Danse. Guinevere’s dress was a pale lilac with a wide fitting white belt. There were even white shoes to match.

Under any other circumstance, it would have been such a happy and festive occasion. Guinevere had always loved parties and social events. But now she was nervous. Deacon had frightened her terribly.

Danse had watched her as she dressed for the party. She wasn’t shy about letting him see her. He sat on the bed and observed her with appreciation, until he couldn’t handle simply looking and took her in his arms.

“You are beautiful, Guinevere Hannah,” he said softly as his lips met hers. “It will be hard to keep my mind off you this evening.”

She smiled and returned his kiss, running her hands through his hair. “Why do you need to?”

He cleared his throat and looked rather sheepish. “I didn’t specify exactly what is on my mind, did I…” He held her tightly and pressed against her, making his desire obvious.

Guinevere kissed him tenderly, and pressed back against him, letting him know that she was accepting of his suggestion.

“You know, if we continue this, Eliza will come looking for us before long,” said Danse.

“Mmhm,” she whispered between kisses. “Which is another reason we need to go home.”

Danse let his hands roam down her sides and over her buttocks, before returning to her waist. “We’d hardly be alone there either,” he said with a sigh.

“RJ wants red paint. I know where he can find some. And he’ll need Hancock to help him bring it home.” She grinned devilishly.

Danse laughed softly. “You are a devious one indeed. But I’m not sure I can wait that long to love you.”

She responded to him with a deep kiss that left  _ him _ breathless and  _ her _ feeling as though she would collapse in a boneless heap.

“We better stop this,” said Danse, regretfully drawing back and sitting down on the bed.

Guinevere blew him a kiss and went to the mirror to try and make her hair look presentable. 

“You’re perfect you know,” said Danse.

“I feel very disheveled and wind blown,” she responded and sighed. “I wish you could have seen me in the old world. The way I used to be.”

“In the old world, you wouldn’t have been mine.”

She turned around, her eyes full of happiness. “Am I yours?”

It took him two strides to reach her and he picked her up and spun her around. “I certainly hope so. You’re my favorite soldier. Don’t tell the others.”

Guinevere giggled and kissed him. “I suppose we should make our appearance then. I have to admit I’m pretty hungry at this point.”

He set her down and she smoothed her dress, then took his hand as they walked towards the center of town where Eliza and her group had set everything up.

Eliza had decorated with plants and vines and somehow managed to find tiny lights that came on as the daylight vanished.

There was a wooden podium and below that a long table had been set up with candles and food.

Everyone had dressed up in their best and there were smiles and laughter everywhere. Fairfax was a happy place and Guinevere suffered a lump in her throat as she thought about what she had learned.

These wonderful loving people weren’t people at all. They were synths. Manufactured in a laboratory heaven knew where by a faceless unknown entity for an unknown reason. Programmed to think they were living, breathing human beings.

But did that even matter? Weren’t human beings programmed in a way too by their families and society and experiences?  Were the feelings felt by humans any more valid than the ones felt by the synths?

Guinevere had never stopped to think about it. To her, if a person had feelings, and expressed them they were alive no matter where they came from originally. It was why she helped Deacon in the first place.

He had teased her and told her he was a synth when they met and she hadn’t cared. She’d still developed a schoolgirl crush on him regardless. The Railroad took all manner of synths and helped them gain a new life. She hadn’t given it a second thought when she helped him clean out safehouses or escort a synth to the Memory Den in Goodneighbor. That was how she ended up meeting RJ and Hancock.

And now she had fallen in love with a man who belonged to an organization that purportedly reviled anything that wasn’t human.

_ I’ve seen his discomfort with ghouls _ , she thought.  _ But he’s never talked about hating the completely human Gen 3s. I can’t see Eric wanting to murder this whole town. I just can’t. _

All through dinner she talked to those around her, and listened to people ask Danse about the Brotherhood. There was nothing fearful in their questions and no one looked remotely upset by their presence. Deacon had said not all of them were aware they were synths.

The children came to her and introduced their parents, and she smiled and complimented the child on their hard work and diligence in class.

Guinevere realized that every bit of her heart wanted to stay and live in Fairfax. She had grown so fond of the children and the people there. Even the livestock had been a source of amusement for her.

_ RJ would love it here, _ she thought.  _ The scavving team would be perfect for him and Hancock with his experience as mayor would be an excellent helper for Pierce who was getting on in years. But Hancock had wanted out of Goodneighbor and RJ hated communal living.  _

She knew Danse would never agree to live in Fairfax either, despite his saying he would, and being who he was, he never could. A sadness gripped her heart.

“Are you alright Guinevere?” Danse whispered in her ear and gave her a kiss.

“Yes, I’m fine. Just thinking about how much I’ll miss these people. Especially the children.”

He pulled her close to him. “We’ll find your son. And I’m sure he won’t be your only child.”

She turned and looked at him then, and there was a softness in his eyes. “Have you thought about ever having a family?” she asked.

“To be honest, I hadn’t. Then I met you and I’m thinking about things I never have before. Guinevere, I intend to make this work out between us, and I hope that having a family of our own will be a part of that.”

She swallowed hard to rid herself of that pervasive lump. He had no idea how much she wanted to imagine such a lovely future.  The problem was she wasn’t sure if it were possible. His career with the Brotherhood seemed to take precedence over everything. She worried how things would change once the Prydwen arrived.  _ War never changes _ , she thought.  _ There was always going to be an enemy, real or imagined, to take up arms against. _

“I would like that so much,” she whispered.

“Then it’s something we need to work towards,” he said gently and gave her another kiss.

After the meal, the table was cleared away and a group of citizens brought out their instruments. Some were homemade contraptions created to mimic cellos and brass. One man had an actual old world acoustic guitar.

Guinevere was surprised to see that Danse had actually been drinking beer. He had always seemed to be against it. Maybe the image he felt it necessary to portray when he was at the station was of the dedicated no nonsense soldier. Perhaps there was another side to Paladin Danse that Guinevere had yet to experience.

She was about to find out.

 


	9. Ring Of Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danse surprises Guinevere with an impromptu performance!

* * *

Guinevere enjoyed a bottle of wine while she watched the entertainment. Eliza and Dan put on a short skit which brought much laughter and the musicians were quite talented. If she hadn’t spent as much time  as she had at orchestra performances, Guinevere wouldn’t have been able to tell much of a difference.

Danse played with her hair and planted little kisses on her. She would never have guessed he’d be as affectionate as he was. He enjoyed the attention she gave him as well. He smiled often and seemed to have relaxed. 

The band switched out and struck up a lively and popular song. Most of the music Guinevere had heard came from a radio station based in Diamond City. The songs the band played were old favorites that had been popular before the war.  Several people got up to dance. Pierce walked boldly up to Guinevere.

“An old man like me might never get a chance to dance with a beautiful lady like you again. If you would do me the honor?”

Guinevere laughed and looked at Danse who gave her a thumbs up and opened another beer.

Pierce might have looked old and fragile but he certainly didn’t move that way. Of course, being a synth might have had something to do with it. She pushed that thought far from her mind.

Dan and Eliza stole her away for a line dance which she quickly learned. Nate had been a fan of country music and they often went to local dances. She loved to dance and didn’t realise how much she’d missed it.

She was having the most wonderful time. It amazed her that these people lived this way every day. The world around them had fallen apart, but they’d managed to rebuild themselves a world. A good world. The idea that anyone would wish to destroy it concerned her deeply. She wanted to protect Fairfax.It was almost sacred to her in the short time she’d been there.

Guinevere caught herself wishing that RJ and Hancock could have been present for the party as well. They would have loved it. Sociable RJ loved music too, although more of a rock fan, he would have liked the band regardless of the genre. Hancock was quieter and more reflective, but Guinevere knew he spent a lot of time at the Third Rail in Goodneighbor listening to Magnolia. She was quite sure Fairfax would appeal to him too.

The music changed and an old country song started up. Guinevere turned back to sit with Danse but she didn’t see him.

_ “Love is a burning thing _

_ And it makes a fiery ring. _

_ Bound by wild desire _

_ I fell into a ring of fire…” _

Eliza grabbed her hand and turned her around, pointing. She was laughing with glee.

Guinevere’s jaw dropped.

There on the podium with the band stood her Paladin.

Singing.

The citizens cheered and clapped and joined in with the chorus.

_ “I fell into a burning ring of fire, _

_ I went down, down, down and the flames went higher, _

_ And it burns, burns, burns, _

_ The ring of fire, the ring of fire.” _

He pointed at Guinevere, making her blush fiercely. She was glad that the night lighting didn’t allow anyone to see it.

_ “The taste of love is sweet _

_ When hearts like ours meet. _

_ I fell for you like a child, _

_ Oh, but the fire went wild.” _

He stepped down and walked up to her then, repeating the chorus along with the citizens who were clapping and laughing.

He handed the mic back to the band and caught Guinevere around her waist and dipped her, giving her a kiss. She squealed and laughed, hanging onto him.

The citizens went wild and shouted for an encore but Danse just laughed and waved at them, pulling Guinevere back to the table.

“What was that all about?” she asked still shocked but laughing. “Who are you and what have you done to my Eric?” She feigned horror and gasped dramatically. “You’ve been replaced by a synth!”

Danse chuckled, his eyes bright. “It’s been a long time since I heard that song. There was a station in the capital wastes that played the best country music. I’ve missed it. I thought you’d appreciate a little personal entertainment.”

“I think you’ve been entertaining yourself with  _ beer _ ,” she giggled. “I love seeing this side of you! I don’t think RJ or anyone will believe me when I tell them you did this.”

Danse had himself another drink. “You make me want to sing, Guinevere. Being with you just lightens every part of me. I’m so in love with you.”

She took his hand and held it while another citizen bravely stepped up to try his hand at a song. “Look, you’ve motivated others to share too!”

He smiled. “So I have. Music is a wonderful thing. I can’t say I’m much of a dancer but…” He stood and pulled her with him. There seemed to be no end to the enigma that was Paladin Eric Danse. He had always been so focused and serious, yet here he was cutting loose and enjoying himself. If it was the beer, she hoped he would indulge more often.

Guinevere melted into Danse’s arms. The citizens, the band, the broken world disappeared and all there was was her and her Paladin.

She was lost in his eyes and the feel of his arms around her. A soft smile turned up the corners of his lips and he led her perfectly through the dance.  _ So much for him not being good at that _ , she thought happily.  

There hadn’t been a moment since waking up in the vault that Guinevere believed she could ever be truly happy again. Finding another love seemed like a long lost dream. The people she had become attached to previously were all as broken as she was and unable to move past their trauma. Guinevere craved a loving bond with another person. She had never been an independent, aloof type...closeness to her was as essential as food and water.

RJ’s affection towards her had been a balm on her soul, and for awhile she wished he’d been ready for more. But like her and Deacon, the memory of his dead spouse was too heavy on his heart. The difference was she’d accepted it and was ready to move on.

But here was this handsome soldier who had no problem sweeping her off her feet and making her heart feel alive again. He was tender and protective and best of all he said he loved her.

Above them the clear sky was dotted with city free stars, sparkling like diamonds. Her heart soared.

“Eric,” she whispered.

“Guinevere,” he responded.

Their lips met and they both couldn’t believe any moment could be more perfect.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Ring of Fire" originally by Johnny Cash. The link below is by George Canyon, one of my favorite country artists. I imagine Danse sounds similar!
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABa2-lqErPs


	10. This Is How A Heart Breaks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danse and Guinevere return to the Red Rocket. RJ is devastated when he learns about their relationship.

* * *

It was hard for Guinevere to leave Fairfax. She secretly promised Eliza and Pierce that one day she’d return, and maybe send Hancock or RJ to help them out from time to time.

Mrs. Gibbs wasn’t quite well enough to teach, but the children were given enough tasks to do by Eliza and Dan that it was a sort of summer camp for them and they’d be fine until their teacher could resume her duties.

Guinevere bit back tears when they gave her a drawing they had made. It was them with her and Danse wearing his power armor. The irony wasn’t lost on her and that made it even worse.

She was quiet on the way home, and although Danse carried her sometimes and did his best to keep up a conversation, she just couldn’t shake the deep sorrow of Deacon’s last conversation with her.

She wanted to ask Danse about his philosophies on Gen 3 synths, but she was too afraid of the answer.  What if he  _ was  _ all those things her friends had warned her about? 

She shook the thought away. No. He was a good man.

Guinevere was so happy to have someone to love, who could love her back, that she was willing, for as long as possible, to live the old adage  _ love is blind. _

* * *

Dogmeat and Codsworth greeted her when they entered the Red Rocket. The bot gave her a rundown of everything that had happened, what needed replacing in the food department, and the number of attacks they’d had which was zero. All the while Dogmeat bounced around her and brought over all his toys to share.

“Where’s RJ and Hancock?” she asked the bot.

“Master MacCready and Master Hancock will be back shortly. I believe they were hunting for car parts.”

Danse went to work on his power armor in the garage, while she set about starting dinner. The guys had thankfully replenished what they had eaten, and a trader must have come through as there were all sorts of oddities lying about.

RJ loved comic books and magazines, and Hancock liked anything he could smoke or otherwise introduce into his body. She’d never understand that. But it didn’t do anything worse to him than he had already done to himself.

Most ghouls were created by a biological reaction to radiation. Hancock had partaken of experimental chems and willingly became a ghoul to escape his mental trauma. She had seen a picture of him before he had turned. John Hancock, formerly John McDonough, had been quite a handsome man.

With a small smile she picked up after them and set the table. The simple domestic action gave her great comfort. Hearing Danse in the garage, the radio from Diamond City in the background, gave her a sense of normalcy.

“Eric?” she called to him. “Could you please go to the garden and pull up 5 or 6 tatoes for me?”

He delivered them to her and asked if there was anything else he could do to help. Guinevere told him he could bring his pack into the bedroom and wash up in the bath shed they had created.

* * *

RJ and Hancock had hoped to surprise Guinevere with the finished car. Well minus the paint. As it turned out, there was still more to do and they had gone off to Concord to see if they could rip apart any hulks there.

As they approached the Red Rocket, RJ lifted his head up. “Hancock, I smell cooking! Guinny’s back!”

His face lit up in a huge smile and Hancock nodded. “Have to take your word for it. Missing the right appendage for that delight. You still planning on talking to her?”

“Hell yes! Tonight might be the best night of my life!” he exclaimed. “Well since...you know. Anyway...I can’t wait to see her face when she sees the dress!”

“What if Danse came back with her?” asked the ghoul.

RJ snorted. “What does that matter? The guy has as much emotion as a bag of hammers. He’ll go back to the party station before long anyway. I’m thinking that flying thing of theirs will come soon and he’ll go back to whatever it is he does.”

“MacCready are you forgetting that she joined them?”

RJ shrugged. “She wants to belong somewhere. I get that. But once I tell her I love her she’ll know she belongs with me.”

Hancock lit up a cigarette. “Here I thought I was the only one with that kind of confidence.” He followed his suddenly energetic friend home.

RJ went to his room and got the box while Hancock dumped the car parts at the car. The mercenary checked himself out in the mirror and washed his face and brushed his hair. “Not bad, RJ, not bad at all,” he said with a grin.

Outside, Guinevere walked towards the shed. Danse was shirtless, drying himself off.

_ “Some quiet evening, I sit by your side _

_ And we're lost in a world of our own,"  _ Sang Guinevere. 

Danse looked over at her and a smile broke across his face. She stepped towards him. 

_ “I feel the glow of your unspoken love _

_ I'm aware of the treasure that I hold…” _

She reached him and he picked her up, holding her above him. She rested her hands on his arms. 

_ “And I say to myself,  _

_ It's wonderful, wonderful _

_ Oh, so wonderful, my love." _

He brought her down and held her close, his lips closing on hers. “You should have taken the mic at the party,” he said softly before kissing her again.

RJ heard Guinevere’s sweet voice and stopped to listen. She never sang when she thought anyone could hear her, except for that one time they had gotten into the liquor together...RJ smiled in fond memory. She had no recollection of that day but he sure did.

He held the box and wandered around the back of the diner to the shed.

And froze.

Paladin Danse was holding Guinevere, kissing her, whispering something to her that made her smile... that beautiful smile which always melted RJ’s heart. 

The box slid from his hands and he felt the blood drain from his face. He heard Hancock come up behind him. 

The ghoul had wanted to watch what was supposed to be a special moment between the two people he cared about most in the world.

His heart sank when he saw what met RJ’s eyes and lay a hand gently on his friend’s shoulder.

As the box hit the ground, Guinevere turned to them.

“RJ! John! There you are!” Her smile faded as she saw the expression of devastation on her best friend’s face. “RJ? What’s the matter?”

RJ was shaking. He felt as though all the air in the world had been sucked away and he couldn’t breathe. His eyes scanned from Danse to Guinevere and back. Hancock’s hand tightened on his shoulder.

“Come on MacCready, let’s go somewhere and talk,” said the ghoul softly.

RJ jerked his shoulder away and stalked towards Danse. He shoved him hard in the chest. “What in the actual  _ fuck?! _ ” he cried.

Danse stumbled back in shocked surprise. 

“MacCready? What is your major malfunction here?”

RJ shoved him again. “You shut the fuck up! Get away from her!”

A shocked Guinevere stood, eyes wide, unable to speak.  RJ spun around to her, his blue eyes dark and liquid.  He grabbed her face in his hands and kissed her. He had meant the contact to be passionate and loving but in his current state of mind it was everything but.  

Guinevere yelped and pushed him away.

“Guinny!” he cried. “No! Not him! Not  _ that _ bastard! Not  _ that _ hateful self righteous prick!”

Guinevere pressed trembling hands to her mouth and stared at him. There were no words that would come to her. She was dumbstruck by the usually sweet RJ’s attack.

A mortified and trembling RJ slowly reached out with one hand and stroked her hair while she stood frozen in place, unable to respond.

Behind him Danse made a motion but Hancock met the Paladin’s eyes and slowly shook his head, his hand opening his coat and revealing the holstered weapon he wore.

“ _ I _ love you,” said RJ tremulously. “Me. Your RJ. You are  _ my _ whole world Guinevere Stanton. I...I’ve been in love with you forever. I just didn’t think you were ready to hear it! But...hear it  _ now _ ...hear  _ me  _ now.  _ Please _ Guinny...”

“MacCready,” said Danse carefully. “Let’s…”

RJ’s eyes flashed with anger as he turned to the Paladin. “Didn’t I tell  _ you _ to shut the fuck up?  _ I _ loved her first! I even  _ married _ her! Yeah! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!” 

He pulled Guinevere’s hands gently from her face. “Don’t you remember Guinny? That night up on the roof? We were drinking the bourbon and the wine, singing about a dock on a bay. Got totally pissed. We went to Concord, and you said you wanted to marry me! So we did, at the statue…”

She blinked and bits and pieces of memories scrolled through her mind but they were fragments. She shook her head slowly

“You kissed me Guinny. It was the best night of my life. I love you with all my heart.” 

Her eyes went to Danse who stood quietly but would be galvanized into action at a mere suggestion from her.

RJ saw the expression in her eyes and he would swear thereafter he heard his heart crack and shatter.

“This asshole,” said RJ, pointing back at Danse. “He’s  _ Brotherhood _ . They hate all non humans and the people who help them! You hear how he talks about ghouls! What do you think he’ll do when he finds out about Nick? What about Deacon? Your  _ friends _ , Guinny. Your  _ family _ . Who love you and have your back no matter what. They’re not all human. Shit he probably doesn’t even think  _ I’m _ human!”

Guinevere took two steps back and bumped into Hancock who put his hands gently on her upper arms. She turned around and buried her face in his chest.  

The ghoul embraced her gently. “Alright doll. You and I will go somewhere and talk ok?”

He pointed to the box on the ground. “MacCready. You want her to have that?”

RJ nodded mutely, his eyes filled with sorrow. He retrieved the box and gave it to Hancock. The mayor whispered something to Guinevere and she nodded.

“You,” he said to Danse. “You can wait in her room or go back to your station. Your choice.”

Danse nodded, eyeing RJ warily. 

“Alright sunshine,” said Hancock to Guinevere as he led her away, his arm around her. “Let’s go visit Sanctuary Hills for awhile.”

RJ watched them go, then turned slowly to Danse. “You know, I fucking  _ hate _ you,” he said. “And everything you stand for.” 

He started to walk away but stopped, not turning. “Even more for making me cuss you out and break a promise to someone I love.”

“Understood,” said Danse and remained motionless until RJ wandered off back into the diner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Wonderful, Wonderful" originally by Johnny Mathis. The link below is the only one I could find with a woman singing it. It's a silly home video but she's quite talented.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cv5c-DoFC7g


	11. Fates Entwined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere and Hancock have a heart-to-heart. Danse considers the situation.

* * *

Barnaby Byrne ran up to Hancock and Guinevere with excitement. But the mayor raised a hand and shook his head as he led Guinevere into one of the refurbished houses, carefully avoiding the one that had once been hers.

“Doll, you just sit here while I round up some grub and things to make us comfortable for the night.” 

He looked around and saw a crate and opened it. He knew Guinevere had put blankets and pillows in them for the settlers. He pulled them out and handed them to her. She gave him a small, grateful smile.

“You going to be ok here for a few minutes?” he asked gently.

She nodded and sat down on a couch. He put RJ’s box on a table.

Outside, Hancock summoned Barnaby over. “The poor gal is going through a hard time. Why don’t you let the others know we’re here and just to let us be. Can you do that for me?”

Barnaby nodded. “Yes Mr. Hancock. I..I hope she’s ok.”

Hancock nodded. “She’s gonna be fine. Just needs time to think things through. And it’s just John. Or Hancock. I’m not fancy enough to be Mr anything.”

Barnaby smiled. “I got it M...Hancock.”

“Much better,” said the mayor.

He walked over to the dining hall. There was food ready and waiting, settlers were slowly trickling in to eat. There were four units within Sanctuary Hills designated by color. Each one rotated through the duties. Food preparation was handled that night by the blue unit, and Hancock got a blue tray and filled it up. They favored fruits and vegetables which Guinevere also preferred.

He stopped to answer a few questions from Preston, then Mama Murphy asked to see Guinevere.

“She’s at a crossroads,” the old lady said. “I can help her find her way. Just need a bit of jet to wake up the sight.”

“Listen,” said Hancock kindly. “I know you care about her. But she needs to listen to her own heart on this, you feel me?”

Mama Murphy had asked for some chems anyway, and he obliged with a dispenser of jet. She shuffled off mumbling.

Guinevere did her best to eat but couldn’t manage much. She drank some wine to calm her nerves. Despite her ravaged emotions, she still refused to touch any chems whatsoever.

“Did you know about this?” she asked Hancock softly.

“What exactly are you asking me, sunshine?”

“Did you know RJ was going to attack Eric?”

Hancock sighed. “He wasn’t planning on attacking Danse. He wanted to give you that gift there and tell you his feelings.”

Her eyes moved to the box then back to Hancock’s glittering but kindly black eyes. “And that was that he’s in love with me?”

“Mhm. He saw you and Danse together and reacted.”

“But did you know he felt that way?”

Hancock shook his head. “He didn’t tell me in words until a few days ago while you were gone. But doll, I’ve seen it in him for a real long time. Everyone has. Your friends here sure have. Even Codsworth commented on it once.”

Guinevere recalled Deacon’s words.  _ He always had it bad for you. _

Hancock took a sip of his vodka. “In fact I seen it in you too. The way you look at him. The way you talk to each other. There’s love there doll. Plain and simple.”

She frowned. “Of course there is. He’s my best friend!”

“It’s a different kind of love I see in the two of you.”

She curled up and pulled the blanket over herself. “I had feelings for him once. Romantic feelings. But he wasn’t ready. All he ever talked about was missing Lucy.”

“And all  _ you _ ever talked about was missing Nate. You both kept quiet about your feelings for the same reasons.”

Guinevere was silent for a long time. “I don’t know why he said those things about Eric. It was horrible.”

“Doll,” said Hancock. “These things we’ve both said to you about the Brotherhood. We aren’t making them up. Anyone who knows them knows they hate all non humans. They’re on a personal crusade against the Institute right now. In a way that makes them feel like allies, doesn’t it.”

She nodded. “The Institute might have taken my baby. The Brotherhood is going to help me find him. Eric promised!”

“Mhm,” agreed Hancock. “The Institute goes down let’s say. Their crusade will continue with the destruction of all synths. Guess what love? They’ll turn their eye to everyone who’s helped the synths. The Railroad, you feel me?”

Guinevere turned large eyes on him. He nodded sadly. “You’re getting the picture. Danse gets an order to destroy them. You going to let him kill Deacon? How about Nick?”

“Eric wouldn’t do that! He wouldn’t kill my friends! He helped Barnaby!”

Hancock shook his head. “ _Who_  really helped Barnaby, love? Think about it. I got the story right from the little guy.”

Guinevere looked away from him.  She didn’t want all this darkness cast over the man she loved. She always believed that when she fell in love again her family and friends would be supportive.

Instead, it felt like everyone was against them. She just wanted to be loved and happy, as happy as the broken, twisted world would allow. 

Guinevere wanted Danse. She needed to hear his voice, to feel his arms around her, to hear him say he loved her. She wanted to feel protected from all the drama swirling around her.

“I love him John,” she whispered and even to her it sounded weak in the face of everything she’d been told. "I love Eric."

“I know, doll. And you gotta follow your heart. But you have to realize that one day in the future both of you will have a very difficult choice to make. And someone is gonna be hurt. The Brotherhood has a black and white agenda. There’s no grey for them. But  _ you _ live in shades of grey. You’ve got this great big heart full of love and you’ll give it to anyone who needs it. You’re not gonna let him or  _ any _ of them hurt an innocent person just because the Brotherhood declared them an enemy.”

Guinevere told him about Fairfax then. About the beautiful people, the children she had taught, the dynamic Eliza and her sweet grandfather Pierce. Then she broke down as she told him about Deacon.

Hancock listened quietly. “Just got together and already you feel you need to keep things from him. It’s not gonna get better, sunshine, it’s gonna be more of the same and worse. I’d never lie to you. I love you too much to do that. I want you to be happy more than anything in the world. But choosing Danse might not give you the happy ending you want and deserve.”

She believed him. Rather, she believed that Hancock believed his convictions. Hancock wasn’t perfect. He never even pretended he was one of the ‘good guys’. But he’d never lied to her. He had always cared enough to be honest with her no matter what.

Hancock watched the emotions go across her face and he pitied her deeply. The road she was on wasn’t an easy one.

“I want you to get some sleep. You want to crawl into one of the beds or stay out here?”

Guinevere didn’t want to move. “I’ll stay here. John, can you hold my hand until I fall asleep?”

“You want to hold onto this mummified paw of mine?”

He smiled and moved closer. Guinevere truly did look like a doll at that moment with her golden hair and vulnerable green eyes. 

He took her hand. “You know, if I was still the way I used to be, I’d have taken you for myself. You wouldn’t be suffering now. As it is, being a ghoul makes things less complicated though.”

She tucked their curled hands under her chin. “I never cared that you were a ghoul.”

He chuckled softly. “Sunshine, I don’t just mean before I was a ghoul. I’m talking about before all the bullshit I’ve gone through. Long ago. I’m nowhere near good enough for you. You’re so far out of my league you might as well be on the moon.”

“I’m nothing special,” she said, closing her eyes.

“That’s where you’re wrong, love. That’s where you’re dead wrong. Now go to sleep. Mayor’s orders.”

* * *

Back at the Red Rocket, Danse sat on Guinevere’s bed wondering if she was alright. The confusion she must be feeling, and only having that ghoul to speak with. 

He felt a momentary flare of anger. The nerve of that undisciplined mercenary exploding that way. Putting the woman he professed to love in such an awkward position. Did he think she would have run into his arms?

Danse remembered how MacCready had kissed her. Only a low life form like a mercenary would simply take what he wanted that way. The Paladin momentarily worried about what else that person might be thinking of doing.  Could MacCready get it in his head to go even further with her? 

The thought was unnerving, but Danse reminded himself that the mercenary seemed to care for her a great deal and if he’d wanted to perpetrate such a crime he would have done so long ago. No, the man was simply a fool.

He sighed and undressed again. Guinevere had started that nice meal for them. He contemplated going and finishing it, maybe eating some as he was quite hungry. But the thought of seeing MacCready creeping around bothered him. He didn’t want to be forced into another altercation for the sole reason it would hurt Guinevere.

Danse didn’t believe for a moment that MacCready loved Guinevere. Someone like him had a great thing going with a woman like her who gave him a comfortable place to live, food to eat and shared her caps with him. 

_ He feels threatened by me, _ thought Danse.  _ He doesn’t want to lose what he’s gained here. _

And that ghoul. Showing off his weapon. Danse had been undressed and without his own weapon at the ready. Things would have been different if he had been properly prepared for an altercation.

_ Then again _ , he thought.  _ These are her friends. I can’t alienate her by antagonizing them. And I did make that promise. _

He checked over his gear, then perused the books on her shelf. He lay down and tried to read, but his mind couldn’t focus.

Oddly Danse had never hated MacCready. He had no interest in mercenaries or raiders as a rule, but as Guinevere’s friend, Danse had accepted him, given him access to the supplies and food at the station and even left out beer for the mercenary. 

He knew Guinevere was extremely family oriented and she loved Hancock and MacCready with all her heart. This situation would be distressing for her.

But there was nothing he could do. It was between her and MacCready. Danse knew he himself loved Guinevere and she loved him. They had stopped hiding their feelings and committed to one another. He had promised to make their relationship work, to start a family one day with her. A  _ real _ family. 

He shook his head in disgust. A bot, a merc and a ghoul weren’t a real family. It was a motley crew at best that she had attached to out of loneliness. A family was a husband and wife and children. And  _ that _ was what he would work towards.

Danse listened to the sounds of gunfire outside, as MacCready laid waste to the target dummies, and waited for Guinevere to return and decide which direction her future would take. But he was confident she would make the right choice... _ him _ .


	12. Completely Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere makes her decision.
> 
> **THIS CHAPTER IS NSFW**

* * *

Guinevere awoke in the wee hours of the morning. A candle on the table had almost burnt down. Hancock sat in the chair beside her, outstretched, dozing.

_ Danse _ . She sat up and her heart cried out for him. She pushed the blanket off and sat up as quietly as she could, then stood.

Her eyes fell on RJ’s box. She walked softly to it, and ran her hands over the top.  _ Why, RJ,  _ she asked herself sadly.   _ Why now, when I’ve given my heart to another man. _

Carefully, she opened the lid. She suppressed a soft exclamation when her eyes fell on the beautiful dress. 

Some time ago during one of their talks, she had told him about her favorite dress and described it in great detail. He had actually remembered, and found it. 

But how? In the world 200 years removed how had RJ managed to find the exact dress? Tears filled her eyes and she picked it up and held it.

Her heart was heavy. She loved RJ and she always had, but like Deacon he had seemed in the depths of grief and unable to move forward.  Deacon had openly admitted that he was crazy about her, but wouldn’t be able to commit to another relationship. 

RJ had never said the words but in everything he did he was saying the same.

“I love you so much you stupid man,” she whispered tearfully. “But I can’t love you the way you want me to. Not anymore.”

She lay the dress back in the box and closed it.

Hancock had awakened at her first stirrings, but remained motionless. He watched her, he heard her, and his heart sank for his RJ.

As Guinevere turned towards the door, the ghoul softly said “you want me to walk with you, sunshine?”

She shook her head. “No. I’ll be fine. It’s right down the road. I don’t have my weapon but I can run if I have to. I’m not worried.”

“Alright,” he said softly and listened as she slipped outside and into the cool night air.

Guinevere walked silently into the Red Rocket, carrying the box. Dogmeat bounded up to her and she bent to give him a kiss on his muzzle. He crawled back into his doghouse as she entered the diner.

RJ lay unconscious on the couch, too many bottles of alcohol around him, empty packs of cigarettes and a gold flip lighter on the floor.  His weapon lay at his side, his jacket covering the lower half of him.

She looked at him. Something stirred in her heart and she reached down and stroked the side of his head for a moment.

She knew that things would be different between them from then on, and she was sorry for it. He sighed in his drunken sleep and brought his hand up over hers.

“Forever, Guinny,” he murmured.

“Yes RJ,” she responded softly and pulled her hand away. 

She turned to her bedroom and entered silently.  Through the skylight the moonlight filtered through, and she saw Danse half covered by the sheet, curled up on his side.

She put the box on the floor and began to undress as quietly as she could.

He opened his eyes and saw her, bathed in moonlight, her soft pale skin almost glowing and his heart swelled with love and desire.

She turned and her eyes met his. “Eric,” she whispered. “Can I...would you hold me, please?”

“Of course,” he said softly.

Guinevere walked to the other side of the bed and crawled in under the sheet. Danse rolled onto his back and held his arm out for her and she curled into his side, her head on his chest.

“I wasn’t sure I’d be seeing you tonight Guinevere,” he whispered. “I must apologize for my state of complete undress. If you prefer I’ll put my shorts back on.”

She lifted her head and kissed his chin. “Don’t be ridiculous. It doesn’t matter. You’d just have to take it off again anyway.”

He partially turned to her, his hand on the side of her face, then in her hair as his lips found hers in a deep kiss.

His body responded to her nearness and her touch, and as she slowly draped her leg over his hip and drew him closer, Danse thought he would tremble into pieces with desire.

“Are you sure, Guinevere?” he asked her.  “Do you truly wish to be with me? I don’t want you to do this out of a sense of obligation.”

She felt his hardness pressing against her belly and her own excitement was driving her to distraction. “I’m doing this out of a sense of love. I’m in love with  _ you, _ Paladin Danse. I want to be yours.”

He kissed her lips, her neck, and her collar bone, nibbling at the tender flesh at the base of her throat. She murmured softly and sighed as he held her tightly to him. Guinevere wrapped her arms around his neck and gazed into his eyes with longing, smiling.

Danse moved her onto her back, and carefully positioned himself between her legs. Sitting on his knees, he stared down at her, marvelling at her soft porcelain skin as his hands caressed the flesh of her belly and thighs. 

Gently he touched the tuft of hair between her legs, feeling her silky wet folds beneath his fingers. Guinevere was swollen and excited, and as he made contact with her nub, she made a little sound of pleasure.

“I hope I don’t ...I’m afraid of hurting you,” he said almost shyly.

“You won’t,” she responded. “You can touch inside me if you want.”

Carefully, Danse found her opening and pressed a finger inside. He had never imagined that it would feel that way, and he found himself exploring inside her. He watched her face for any sign of discomfort, but saw only pleasure.

“I’ve got a mission for you soldier, should you choose to accept it,” she said with amusement. “There’s a rough patch in there, see if you can find it,” she grinned.

He worked on it, feeling his way around, and when Guinevere suddenly reacted, he figured he’d gotten it.

“Do you like that?” Danse asked. “Is it pleasurable?”

She giggled and nodded, moving her hips in rhythm with his touch. Danse was enthralled by her reactions. She was so delicate inside, so fragile. As her inner walls tightly gripped his finger, he wondered how it was possible for other parts of him to fit inside her.

Guinevere felt her release building. It seemed like forever since she had felt such pleasure. Danse crawled up over her and kissed her, then moved his lips to her neck, collarbone and down to her breasts. He continued to rub that strange spot inside her which she seemed to enjoy immensely. As he took a nipple into his mouth and suckled it, her body suddenly exploded and she cried out.

Shocked, he lifted his head and looked at her. “Are you alright?”

She writhed and he felt her muscles pulse around his finger inside her. She was breathing heavily, her eyes were closed and her hands were gripping the sheets.

“Guinevere?” he questioned, still massaging inside her.  He was aware that her juices had coated his fingers and part of his hand.

“Eric,” she breathed. “You said you didn’t know how to do this!”

“That’s true. I...I don’t. Was that ok? You released, correct?”

She started laughing, and threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. “Yes, I released and yes that was wonderful! Now it’s my turn to make  _ you _ feel good.”

She dropped one hand and wrapped it around his hardness and squeezed, and Danse thought he would explode right then.

“No, Guinevere...I’ll...I’d rather...this is quite awkward.”

She pushed him onto his back. “You’re afraid of releasing too soon? It’s ok if you do. We’re going to be together forever right? That’s a lot of love making we’ll be doing.”

His eyes widened as she straddled him and lowered herself onto his shaft. She closed her eyes and let out a long sigh. 

“Ok Eric...you are a lot more than I bargained for. Just give me a moment to get used to you.”

Concern filled his face. “Is it hurting you? I’m sorry. We don’t have to do this Guinevere.”

She placed a finger on his lips. “Shh. It’s ok. I’ll be fine.” 

Despite her state of readiness, it did hurt. He was quite nicely put together and his size took some getting used to. She felt completely open, and as she slid onto him, he had made contact with every erogenous zone inside and outside of her.

Slowly she began to move on him, not taking him too deep. He groaned and rested his hands on her hips, careful not to push down on her. She was so tight around him, he could never have imagined how incredible making love with another person could feel.

“Guinevere, my love,” he whispered.

As they slowly moved together, she adjusted to his length and girth and took him all the way inside her, while she stroked his chest. “You’re furry,” she grinned.

“Does that please you?” he asked.

“Yes, it’s wonderful. Everything about you is.”

Danse moved his hips, aching to move quicker, the pressure inside him building with each stroke. But he feared hurting her.

“I’m afraid that my lack of experience in this department will cause you pain or injury,” he said.

“Please don’t worry about that, Eric. I might be a bit rusty too. It  _ has _ been 200 years after all,” she laughed lightly.

He smiled up at her. Guinevere was so vivacious and full of life. She was always happy, despite what she’d suffered.

He realized that love was such an intense feeling and wondered if things would work out for them. He felt there would never again be anyone else for him. Guinevere would always be the measure against whom the rest of the world would be weighed.

He tried to distract himself from the pleasure she was giving him, wanting to draw it out, let it last.

“Guinevere, could we stop for a few moments?”

She sat on him, slightly confused. “Don’t you like it?” 

“On the contrary, I like it too much. I just don’t want it to be over so quickly. You’re incredible.” 

He moved her off him and lay down beside her, stroking her face, her hair, her arm, and reaching down between her legs to stroke her soft outer lips.

“I love you Eric,” she said softly.

“I love you too. I wish there were other, more powerful ways to express it in words. But showing you by making love to you will have to suffice. I want to be everything to you, Guinevere. Your best friend, your lover and everything in between. Whatever you want or need, I’ll make it happen.”

Her face grew serious. “Promise me that you’ll never do anything to hurt my friends,” she said. “Any of them, no matter what they are. I need that from you, Eric.”

He kissed her tenderly.  “I promised it before, Guinevere...and I’ll promise it again.”

This satisfied her and she returned his kiss, deepening it, and he covered her with his body, positioning himself between her legs. His member nudged her entrance and she raised her hips, giving him unspoken permission to enter her.

As gently and carefully as he could, Danse pressed inside, moving slowly, gaining depth with each movement. She enveloped him, the heat from her core growing. 

As he sought his release, she sought hers, and she let go with a cry a few moments before he did. He felt his seed explode from his body and release deep inside her. 

For a moment Danse became aware that with this one act they could have created a life, and the thought pleased him. It was what he wanted and he knew without question that Guinevere would welcome it should it happen.

Danse held her close, kissing her head as she rested on his chest.

“Guinevere, I’d very much like you to consider living aboard the Prydwen with me. If this doesn’t please you, wouldn’t it make sense for you and I to find a place of our own?”

She sighed. “The Prydwen would be fine if we made our relationship open.”

“If that’s what you truly want, then I’ll agree to it,” he said. “But for the reasons we’d discussed before, there’s a chance Elder Maxson will place us on separate teams.”

Guinevere frowned. “I don’t want to be with anyone else Eric. You said there were no rules about Brotherhood relationships. Why would he do that to us?”

“There are no rules forbidding it. However there are considerations. We could simply forgo the Prydwen and seek a new home where we can properly grow together. I must admit to you that the situation with MacCready has made living here awkward for me. I won’t tolerate being on the receiving end of hostility from both the ghoul and him.”

_ The ghoul. _ The slight hardness in his voice bothered Guinevere, but considering the stress of the situation, it was forgivable.

“John hasn’t been hostile towards you, Eric.”

“Not directly, no. Not yet. However when MacCready took those liberties with you and I made a move to step in, Hancock made sure I was aware that he had a weapon on him and that I was to keep my peace.”

Guinevere blinked. Hancock hadn’t mentioned that. But she knew he wouldn’t have hurt Danse, and most likely just wanted her and RJ to work out what had happened between them. Hancock was loyal to her and to RJ and it made sense to her that keeping Danse under wraps was his priority. Hancock had never kept it secret that he didn’t trust the Brotherhood.

“He doesn’t know you. He was just protecting his family. You would have done the same in his shoes.”

“Perhaps,” Danse answered. “I still wish you to consider what I’ve suggested. We can take your dog and find a place of our own we can fix up.”

“What about Codsworth? He’s all I have left of my old life.” 

Guinevere felt slightly insecure. She didn’t feel ready to leave the home she had worked so hard on and neither was she ready to leave John and RJ.

“The bot can come. It will be useful.”

“I’ll think about it Eric,” she said softly. “I’m just not ready right now, and I need to smooth things over with RJ first. I think he’s hurting pretty bad.”

Danse said nothing but squeezed her, and suggested she try and get some sleep. He promised he wouldn’t let go of her until she awoke.

He sang to her softly. “ _ Tonight you’re mine completely, you gave your love so sweetly…” _

She giggled. “You better still love me tomorrow!”

He sighed. “Guinevere, I’ll love you until I draw my last breath, and if there is a beyond I’ll love you then as well.”

This comforted her, and Guinevere relaxed against him, falling asleep soon after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?" by The Shirelles
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbxxkwBQk_o


	13. Status Quo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere and RJ have a talk.

* * *

Morning came and she heard Hancock and Codsworth talking. She sat up and looked down at Danse. “We need to emerge from here eventually,” she said. “I think we should do that together.”

He stroked her cheek. “Are you alright after last night? There’s no pain?”

She smiled. He was so considerate. 

“Honestly? I’m pretty sore down there but it’s a good kind of pain. It means that I belong to you completely.”

Her words made him smile. “You are very reverent in regards to intimacy. It’s such a wonderful trait in a world where people use their bodies as currency.”

Guinevere gave a small shrug. “I believe you should only give yourself to someone you love and want to be with for life. Relationships are hard and sadly they don’t always work out. But you have to try.”

“I intend to do everything I can to see we are a success,” said Danse getting out of bed.

“Me too,” said Guinevere.

They washed up in the basin and got dressed, both of them unsure what the day would bring. 

RJ was sitting miserably at the table, his head in his hands and Hancock was stirring something on the stove.

RJ looked up as Guinevere and Danse entered, hands entwined. She noticed the softness in his eyes when he looked at her, then the deep sadness as he realized she’d made her decision.

“Guinny…” he said hoarsely.

She shook her head. “Not now, RJ. You and I are going to go have a talk after breakfast so get sober.”

“You still want to talk to me?” he asked in surprise.

“Don’t be silly, of course I do.”

Danse sat down, thinly disguised disgust on his face as he looked at the dishevelled mercenary. RJ ignored him completely.

Guinevere went to Hancock and wrapped her arms around his waist. He hugged her back. “You have a good night sunshine?” he asked kindly.

“Very,” she said with a grin. “Did you stay at Sanctuary?”

“Yeah. Had a pow wow with Barnaby and got the old guilt trip from Garvey about helping out settlements. He doesn’t seem to get it that I’m already a mayor of one place and have no damn ambitions to do it anywhere else.”

Guinevere reached for a bowl. “That’s how he is. He wants to rebuild the world in his own way. It’s just never going to be enough.”

She poured some cereal into the bowl and put a spoon in it before placing it in front of Danse. She looked at RJ.

“Do you want some too? Or is a huge mug of black coffee more to your liking?”

He groaned. “Hair of the dog that bit me might work better.”

“I told you I want you to sober up, RJ. No more liquor today. I actually think you finished off everything we had!”

He got up and walked towards the shed. “I’m gonna have a bath. Wake myself up. Maybe some coffee after that.”

Danse pulled Guinevere onto his lap. She put her arms around him.

Hancock sat down with a cup of coffee and lit a cigarette. He stared straight at Danse.

“Let’s get something straight,” he said. “You don’t like me. I don’t like you. Thing is, I love this little doll right here, and I aim to keep her safe. You’re not gonna get rid of me easily. I’m around as long as she wants me around, you dig?”

Danse narrowed his eyes and tightened his lips. Guinevere felt the tension in his body. 

“Do I dig? Indeed I do. Graves in which to bury things like  _ ghouls _ that should have died long ago.”

Guinevere was startled at those harsh words. “Eric!” she exclaimed. “Why would you say that!?”

He sighed and closed his eyes, resting his head against her a moment. “You’re right. I apologize.” 

Snapping his gaze back to Hancock, he said “ _ You _ need to understand that Guinevere and I have committed to one another. Like it or not, she’s chosen me and we’ll be together from now on. You’ll have no problems with me so long as you don’t interfere in our relationship.”

“You’ll have no problem with  _ me  _ so long as you don’t hurt  _ her _ .”

Guinevere stole a bite of the cereal. “Now if the two of you are finished peeing on the electric fence can we please get on with our day? Eric what are  _ we  _ doing later today?”

Danse finished his cereal. “I need to go over my power armor and clean my rifle. I’ve no plans beyond that.”

“I need to clean my rifle too,” she said. “John what are you and RJ doing?”

Hancock reached into his pocket for some mentats. “The car. Still work to do there. Be heading off to Goodneighbor to check in sometime this week. Fahrenheit's been handling things but there’s always something going on that needs my attention.”

“Are you taking RJ with you?” she asked.

Hancock shrugged. “Doubt he wants to leave you though. You know how he is, doll.”

Guinevere nodded. She sat in Danse’s embrace for a few minutes. His warmth was comforting, and the one hand that was softly caressing her back made her think of their love making. She wanted to drag him back into the bedroom. Really, anything felt like a better option than the awkward talk she knew was coming up with RJ.

However, there was no escaping it and with a tender kiss on his lips, Guinevere arose from Danse’s lap and headed for the garage to start on her weapon and wait for her friend to finish his bath.

She’d not been at it for long, and Danse had joined her when she heard RJ grumbling at Hancock who’d asked him to clean up the carnage of his drunken binge.

She finished with her weapon. “Eric, I need to go…” she said indicating the diner. He nodded and stood up, going to her and gripping her upper arms softly.

“Don’t let him make you feel guilty for our relationship,” he said. “You have a right to love whomever you please.” He kissed her forehead. “I’m just pleased it’s me.”

She smiled up at him before walking away.

RJ was downing his second coffee. He looked at Guinevere and offered up a lopsided grin. “Hey,” he said.

“Hey yourself,” she responded kindly. “Let’s go for a walk, RJ.”

He followed her out the gate of Red Rocket and she turned towards Sanctuary.  Ordinarily she would have taken his hand, or linked her arm with his, but she wasn’t sure how he felt, and there was awkwardness between them.

“Why, RJ?” she asked. “Why now?”

He twitched in discomfort. “It only feels like now to  _ you _ . I’ve been carrying this around forever. Pretty much since you helped me take down those Gunners.”

“I’m asking why you picked yesterday to explode the way you did. Attacking Eric.”

RJ looked over at her. “Eric.  _ That’s  _ his name? He’ll always be Tinman to me. Like that kid’s story. You know, the one about the the little girl who gets lost and is trying to find her way home with her dog?”

Guinevere smiled. “The Wizard Of Oz?”

“Yeah, that’s the one. Tinman was always trying to find a heart. Sounds a bit right to me.”

She was amused by the analogy. “Ok so then that makes me Dorothy and Dogmeat is Toto.”

“Right. Makes sense. You’re trying to find your figurative way home.”

“I can get behind that,” she said after a few seconds. “So which one are you?”

RJ grinned. “I’m the lion. Looking for courage.”

“You’re plenty courageous to me RJ,” said Guinevere, bumping him with her hip.

“Hell no. I’m a sniper. Hiding far away from the action. I run away a lot Guinny. And look how long it took me to tell you I love you. Yeah I’m the lion.”

Neither of them said anything for a few minutes, then at the same time both shouted out. “Hancock’s the scarecrow!”

“Yeah!” laughed RJ. “Looking for his brain!”

“In a box of Mentats!” cried Guinevere.

They laughed and for a moment they forgot the awkward situation and they were as they had always been.

“Guinny...I...I think you belong with  _ me _ . I was meant to find you. Look at us the way we are. You cared about me right from the start. We’re so good together. It was never awkward, until now. Because of me.”

She said nothing, and they reached Sanctuary. Guinevere took him to the house she’d stayed at the previous night.

“This house belonged to the Wilson’s,” she said. “They died in the vault. A really kind older couple who had grandchildren that would come from the South side to visit.”

“Did everyone from here die in the vault?” he asked, sitting down.

“No. Very few people bought a place in 111. Nate and I were the last.”

“Vault-Tec sucks,” he said and she nodded, sitting down on the couch.

“RJ, thank you for that dress. I was completely taken off guard by it last night. I’ll never understand how you were able to find it.”

He smiled then and his whole face lit up. “Is it close to the one you had?”

She nodded slowly. “Close? It’s the exact same dress as I remember it, and just as beautiful.”

“Yes!” he hissed with delight. “Score one for MacCready!”

She laughed softly. “I’d like to wear it around Red Rocket, but I think it would be too awkward right now. RJ...I fell in love with Danse. It was...there was just something between us from the moment we met. I can’t explain it.”

He shook his head. “Ugh. He’s not the good guys Guinny. Why can’t you trust me on that? And if not me, Hancock. Hell go find Deacon and ask him.”

She sadly shook her head. “I can’t ask Deacon anything. He pretty much threw me out of his life.”

She proceeded to tell him about Fairfax and her last meeting with her friend.

“See Guinny?” RJ said softly. “He wouldn’t freak out that hard if there wasn’t something to it. Brotherhood are not what you think they are. You’ve met like what...Tinman, Amanda, the old guy from the bunker, and jarhead Rhys. And you’ve spent almost no time with the last two. Rhys is an asshole. The old guy is nuts. Not the best introduction to the Brotherhood. Or a true one.”

Guinevere sighed heavily. “RJ, I love Danse. I see a good man when I look at him.”

“I get it. I do. The guy is good looking, buff and smart. That’s not enough to qualify for a good person though.”

“I know that! I’m not 12 RJ! I might not come from  _ your _ world but I have lived. I was a wife and a mother. I think I do have an idea what makes a person tick. I believe Danse has a good heart. He’s loving, kind and considerate.”

“To you yeah. To humans sure. He doesn’t even know Hancock and hates him. Thinks I’m dirt because I used to run with the Gunners.”

Guinevere picked at her jacket. “RJ, are you the same person now that you were when we met?”

“Hell no. You changed me, Guinny. You saved me from myself and make me want to be a better man.

“Exactly. Even if Danse has some ideals I don’t agree with, he can grow and change too. We are all products of our environment. He’s been in the Brotherhood most of his adult life. Well now he gets to see another side. RJ, I’m going to give him a chance. He and I are good together too. He wants the same things I do. A healthy world and a family to raise.”

RJ looked miserable. “And I don’t?”

“I never said that. This isn’t a competition RJ. I’m sorry that our roads have forked. But you’re going to have to accept that Danse and I are together now. If...if you feel that you need to leave and make your own path now...it’ll break my heart to see you go but I’ll always wish you only the best.”

RJ swallowed the lump in his throat. “I’ll never leave you, Guinny,” he said softly, but he couldn’t meet her eyes. 

“I’m done running away. I love you and I’m the one who’ll still be here when Tinman screws up. And he will. I might not know a lot, but I’m as sure of that as I am that Hancock is a ghoul. It’s just a matter of time until Tinman shows his true colors.”

Guinevere smiled. “I’m very glad you’re staying. I was afraid you’d need to leave.”

He shook his head. “I don’t trust that guy. You once hired me to protect you Guinny. I’ll follow you on this earth until the day I die.” His eyes met hers. “I’d die for you.”

Tears prickled at her. “I really do love you Robert Joseph MacCready.”

“I know you do. Just not the right way. For now. You belong with me, Guinevere. One day you’ll see it. Until then I’ll be around. But I’m not gonna take Tinman’s crap or make it easy for him. But...I promise I won’t go off like I did yesterday. I’m sorry about that.”

She nodded. “Was...that story about us getting drunk...was that even true?”

He laughed. “Yeah. I’ve never once lied to you about anything. Best night of my life too.”

She chewed on her lower lip. “Did we...um…”

“No! You wanted to though. We were so plastered. We kissed and you passed out but no way was I going to take advantage of you. Mrs. MacCready.” He grinned. “I really like the sound of that.”

Guinevere wanted to hug him, but she stayed in the chair. “Want to hang out today? Go scavving or something?”

RJ’s face lit up. “Yeah? Not with  _ him  _ though right?”

“No, just the two of us. Eric has to work on his power armor. Just let me get a pack together.” 

She stood up and walked past him, smacking him lightly on the head. “Come on doofus,” she said with affection.

He followed her. “You ever tell Tinman about the time we killed that Institute hitman? Me and you, Guinny. Me and you. Team Awesome.”

She laughed. “Nope. That’s our secret.”

“Let’s tell him. Make him cry.”

Guinevere shoved him away with a laugh, then started running. “Loser owes the winner a Deathclaw egg!”

“Yum yum gimme some!” cried RJ, and gave chase.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my Guinevere playthrough of the game, when switching from Danse to Hancock, the Paladin said 'get away from me you filthy ghoul'. It startled me how harsh that was.
> 
> In conversation with my husband he reminded me that the Brotherhood in F4 are racist, to put it mildly. He said to replace the word 'Brotherhood' with 'Aryan Nation' or 'Nazi Party', and to think of ghouls, synths and other non humans as the different races of the world. A different picture emerges then and it disturbs me to be honest.
> 
> Because he embodies the 'knight in shining armor' stereotype, Paladin Danse is often portrayed as a romantic figure. He most certainly can be, to those he deems worthy of such treatment.
> 
> It's an uncomfortable truth about him that as dear as he is towards Guinevere, his attitude and beliefs about other species is terrible, as is the entirety of the Brotherhood. They are truly a hateful, intolerant organization.


	14. Swan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere and RJ meet up with the legendary monster of the Boston Commons!

* * *

RJ was quieter than usual, which was to be expected. Guinevere made it a point not to mention the Brotherhood or Danse. 

As they walked, she wanted him to start singing to her. She had always loved that, but her sweet friend was nursing a broken heart. And despite that, he was still as loyal and loving as ever. 

RJ picked up rocks and hurled them as far as he could. He wanted to hold Guinevere’s hand as he often did when they walked. He was afraid she’d reject him again and he wasn’t sure he could handle that the way he was already feeling.

“What do you think we’ll find today?” she asked.

“I stupidly drank all the bourbon. Hancock hid the vodka. Smart of him. Also finished off a carton of smokes. So that’s on my priority list. You?”

She thought about it. “Red paint for your car. And the usual: food.”

“Sounds about right. Car is coming along. I wish that damn ghoul helped more. He works for 10 minutes then takes chems for 30.”

Guinevere laughed. “In the old world that was how the road crews worked. Not with chems but they sat around a lot. Took forever for the work to get done sometimes.”

“What’s a road crew?” asked RJ.

“The people responsible for making sure the roads were in good shape for us to drive on.”

RJ tossed another rock but it put him off balance. He bumped into Guinevere. She caught his arm, then her hand slid down to his and she held onto him.

RJ thought his heart would explode out of his chest with happiness. “We should make a road too,” he said trying to act nonchalantly.

A warmth coursed through Guinevere. She had been a bit worried things would be strained between them. They had always been affectionate with one another and it had been a source of comfort for her.

“First a car now a road? At this rate we’ll rebuild the world ourselves. I admit it would be really great to have a place to drive cars again.”

He looked over at her. “What about a racetrack? Could we fix that?”

“I have no idea how to make or use asphalt.”

“Is that the black stuff?”

She nodded. “Yes it was all paved smooth for the cars. Best we could do is a dirt road. Can’t race on that.”

RJ squeezed her hand. “Not to race. Just to drive. Experience that! We could make a boatload of caps charging people to drive cars around! Let’s do it!”

Guinevere laughed lightly. “Ok RJ. We can locate a track and see how bad it is. We’ll need a lot of help though. Might need to make a settlement out of it to start.”

He made a little happy sound. “Awesome! That will get Preston off our backs at least. We can call it The Stanton-MacCready Auto Park!”

Something sparked inside her for a moment. Then she shook it off. “That wouldn’t be fair to everyone that helped. We can all name it.”

“As long as it has MacCready in it somewhere.”

She laughed and swung their hands. After a few minutes, RJ began singing softly and she looked over and smiled at him.

“You’re adorable, RJ,” she said.

“Thanks Guinny. Just on the wrong side of the buff meter for you.”

“Please don’t say that. You’re perfect the way you are. I always tell you that.”

He smiled appreciatively at her. “I’m going to marry you Guinny. Even if we’re 80. Because you belong with me.”

She sighed. “RJ…” Her eyes met his and she saw the deep love there.  _ He really believes that, _ she thought.  _ I can’t take that away from him.  _

She squeezed his hand and they walked on in silence.

* * *

Something stirred in the pond at Boston Common.

Guinevere and RJ stopped walking as something moved and caused a slight tremor beneath their feet.

“Did you feel that?” she asked.

“Yeah. There’s stories about this place. Even the Gunners left it alone. No caps in messing with monsters.”

She looked at him quizzically. “What monsters?”

“Dunno,” said RJ. “Anyone who came across it didn’t come back to tell. Saw the bodies plenty of times. Raiders who wanted the fame. Or people trying to cross the Commons.”

“We can’t even walk through here?” she asked.

RJ indicated himself. “This lion says nope!”

She shrugged. “Good enough for me. Let’s go around.”

They had gotten 30 feet when two raiders came running past. RJ had his weapon locked and loaded in a split second, but the duo had no interest in them. He laughed.

“Look at that! Now we’re gonna see if the stories are true!”

They watched the raiders pick up debris and hurl it into the water, shouting obscenities. 

The rumbling beneath their feet began again and something exploded out of the water with a tremendous roar.

A massive dark green skinned creature, with what looked like the remains of a swan shaped paddleboat on it’s back, holding a huge boat anchor.

“What in the hell!?” cried Guinevere.

“Woah!” exclaimed RJ. “Those two are dead for sure!”

The raiders with their paltry weapons let loose on the beast as it swung its fist and the anchor at them.

It wasn’t going to go well. The raider’s weapons weren’t injuring it enough, and seemed to be enraging the thing.

It picked up rocks from under the water, and hurled them. The raiders swore and ran for cover, still shooting their inadequate weapons. One of the raiders tripped over his own feet and was hit by a rock.

The other one ran near them. “Help us! Fuck!”

RJ laughed. “Your bed, you lie in it!”

“Fuck you!” the raider screamed.

RJ gave him a mock salute.

The monster roared and ran at the raider. 

Then it’s eyes fell on Guinevere and RJ. It picked up a rock and hurled it at her.  She ran out of the way and tripped, her weapon skittering away.

The monster swung it’s anchor and aimed at her.

“Oh fuck no!” screamed RJ, running in front of her and waving his arms. “You want action? Come get it asshole!”

It ran at him with an unearthly scream and RJ dove, rolling sideways. The raider a few feet away opened fire, and Guinevere scrambled to her feet and turned, grabbing her weapon and releasing a volley of laser blasts in the thing’s direction.

Her shots left char marks on the monster’s skin, but little else. It swung the anchor and hit the remains of a tree, which splintered like tinder.

The second raider joined them, but he wasn’t ready. He fumbled his reload, and didn’t see the anchor as it hurtled towards him. He was obliterated before he even knew what was going on.

The remaining raider cursed and tried to run, but the enraged monster turned its attention to him.

“RJ!” yelled Guinevere. “Take out his legs!”

RJ went down to the ground and took aim at the thing’s knee and fired. The first shot hit but didn’t do enough. He tried again as it moved towards him.

Guinevere pulled out a grenade and threw it at it’s feet.

“Grenade!” she shouted and they both took cover, lying flat on the ground.

The blast crippled and disoriented the beast momentarily and RJ fired again. This time the thing fell over, roaring in pain.

The raider, feeling suddenly energized, ran forward, but the monster threw a rock. It hit it’s mark and the raider fell, screaming as a giant fist slammed him into a pulp.

“Aim for the head!” cried Guinevere. “It can’t chase us now!”

RJ took careful aim and released his shot. It  hit the monster right between the eyes as it looked up at him.

Guinevere followed suit with a series of laser blasts and the thing finally collapsed.

The silence that followed was unnerving. They waited, unsure if the beast was truly dead or if it would suddenly roar back to life as in a horror movie.

RJ crawled over to Guinevere and put his arm around her. “Are you ok Guinny?”

She was breathing heavily and leaned on him. “That was so scary. I thought I was dead! RJ...you saved me!” She turned and gave him a quick kiss.

He made a little sound and fell over onto his back. “Just died happy!” he cried. “If saving you is all it takes to get you to kiss me, I’ll be doing that one hell of a lot more!”

Guinevere laughed and poked him with her boot. “You’re a noisy corpse!”

He turned his head to look at her, his eyes bright. “You and me, Guinny. Team Awesome! We took out the legendary monster of the Commons!  I can’t believe it! You sure got brave, wow! Throwing out orders and grenades like that!”

She grinned. “I’ve had some awesome training lately. Guess it’s working.”

RJ wrinkled up his nose a moment. “That damn Tinman. He’s good for something I guess. Keeping my girl safe.”

“RJ…” she said softly.

He sat up. “Yeah yeah shut up RJ. Why don’t we go check this place out now before the rest of the world comes to raid it. Might be some treasures worth taking.”

Guinevere got to her feet and dusted herself off. “What was that thing anyway?”

“Looks like a super mutant behemoth to me,” he said. “They’re all over the capital wastes. Nasty.”

“Yuck. I hope I never run into another one.”

“Yeah,” agreed RJ. “They’re no picnic. No brains just brute force.”

They tentatively approached the dead behemoth. Guinevere kicked it and leaped back when it’s armor shifted. RJ laughed at her.

They didn’t find anything on the body aside from the overwhelming stench of rotting bog water and the carcasses it held on the netting on it’s back.

She looked up into the trees and saw the crows and ravens gathering for the feast.

The boathouse lay to the side of the pond.

“Hey Guinny?” asked RJ.

“Yes?”

“I want to be a huge asshole right now. Like major.”

She laughed. “What? Why?”

“You might end up hating me.”

“As if. So tell me already.”

He walked up to her and stood close. “I’ll never ask this ever again and I’m sorry for doing it in the first place but...I’m dying here.”

Guinevere saw the expression in his eyes, which was a mixture of sadness and hope. She liked his eyes. They were slightly tilted and a bright blue that would change to match his emotions. He had dark hair, and his lashes were dark too and framed his eyes. RJ never had much confidence in his looks and she didn’t get it.  

“Out with it RJ,” she said.

“Kiss me, Guinny,” he said softly.

“What?” the request surprised her.

“Give me something to keep me going. I love you. More than anything in the world. I know you don’t want to be with me but...I’m never going to love anyone like this again. Don’t try and give me that tired old line of  _ yes you will you’ll find someone else.  _ Not gonna happen. So...will you?”

She swallowed hard. That lump was back in her throat again, making her eyes prickle. He looked so vulnerable. Could she really look into those eyes and reject him again?

“Damn it, RJ. Why are you putting me into this position?”

He didn’t answer, just stood there gazing at her.

“This is awkward and weird!” she cried.

“If you ever felt anything for me at all... _ please _ Guinevere. I...I told you I’m an asshole.”

“No you’re not. You’re just...just…”

She put her arms around his neck and brought her lips to his. She meant to give him a little peck like she often had before. She meant to do it quickly then get back to exploring the Commons.

But her heart had other ideas. Yes, she was in love with Paladin Danse. Madly. But she had to admit that RJ MacCready captured her heart long ago and she’d shelved it.

Her kiss was filled with the longing she once had for him, with the love she still felt and always would, and with the possibilities that she believed would never be realized.

He slid his arms around her waist and pulled her tightly to him, responding to her kiss with his own. He hadn’t expected such a strong reaction from her and his entire body lit on fire inside. He deepened the kiss, half expecting her to pull away but she didn’t.

RJ thought he would die right there.

Guinevere drew back but didn’t let go of him right away. Tears filled her eyes.

“RJ, I made a commitment to Eric. I really love him and I promised to do what it takes to make it work out. It’s not easy being with someone in this world. It’s so hard just to survive…”

She closed her eyes and sighed, then stepped back.

“Thanks Guinny,” he said softly. “I love you.”

“I love you too RJ,” she said and began to walk towards the boathouse.

They found nothing of value but there were various pieces of paper which gave clues as to the monster’s identity.

Guinevere put them together and sat down on an empty crate. “RJ this behemoth was once a man named Edgar Swann.”

“Let me guess, FEV virus.”

“It says Experiment Log J-32, but I’m guessing that’s exactly it.”

_ Day 1 - So I nipped a few cigs. Big deal. Smartasses may run this place, but they can't just do whatever they want. I got rights. Trial worked out for me in the end. _

_ They agreed to "probation" - I stay inside for a month, write something every day, and they'll bring me all the food and water I want. They think this is punishment? Sure beats scrubbing floors all day. _

 

_ Day 6 - Should have known something was wrong when they came back for more tests. Every bone in my body aches. I'm on edge all the time. Jittery. Can barely write. But my mind's just racing. Dammit, what's going on? What'd they do to me? _

 

_ Day 14 - My physiological evolution seems to have stabilized. The medical team says my muscle mass has more than tripled since the experiment began, and my neural efficiency has improved markedly. This particular strain of modified FEV has been a remarkable success - I appear to have received all of the anticipated benefits without the typical adverse effects. _ _   
_ _   
_ __ My application to join the research team is awaiting the Director's approval. Although further tests may be in order, I hope to be able to assist with my own experiment in the coming days.

 

_ Day 21 - Seizures continue. After the second one this morning, I was ordered back to the observation lab for further study. _

_ My prognosis is poor. I made the discovery myself. The viral strain I was infected with is fundamentally unstable. My mental capacity peaked two days ago, and has begun rapidly deteriorating. The seizures are just the beginning. _

_ Will they reject me like all the others? _

“I wonder who he was talking about?” wondered Guinevere. “Department of Corrections? They didn’t do this kind of thing!”

RJ shrugged. “That you know of. Vault-Tec seemed like a normal company too.”

“You’re right about that. He mentions the ‘Director’...that’s not a DoC title.”

RJ took the paper from her. “The only time I’ve heard about any Director is from an escaped synth. That’s what they call the leader of the Institute.”

Guinevere’s heart froze. “They made the FEV?”

“I don’t know. Super mutants are everywhere. As far as I know, the Institute isn’t. They could just be messing with it.”

She put the papers down. “And they have my baby…” The horror in her eyes tore at RJ’s heart and he embraced her.

“Guinny, don’t think bad stuff. They aren’t going to make a baby super mutant. And besides we don’t know for sure that the Institute has him.”

She held onto him for a few minutes then sighed deeply. “Thanks RJ. I know Nick’s doing his best to help me with this. But waiting is so hard. I’m scared for my baby.”

“I know...I wish I could say something to make you feel better. This sick world doesn’t give us much to go with. One way or another we’ll solve the mystery.”

She nodded. “You’re right. I need to stay positive about this.”

“Let’s get out of here and find something good to bring home.”


	15. A Hopeful Lead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick Valentine shows up with news about Shaun; Guinevere and her friends track his lead with the help of Dogmeat!

* * *

Guinevere was playing checkers in the yard with Hancock. Danse was doing a perimeter check as he did every morning.

RJ was under his car.

It seemed to be a peaceful day until Codsworth floated up to Guinevere. 

“Mistress Guinevere you better come immediately. It seems Master Danse is having a problem with Master Valentine at the fence.”

Guinevere gave Hancock a surprised look. The mayor sighed and got up, jogging after her.

Danse had his weapon levelled at Nick Valentine who stood with his hands up.

“Get away from here you filthy synth!” the Paladin shouted. “Your lies won’t gain you entry!”

“I don’t know who you are,” said Nick, clearly annoyed. “But as I said I’m here to see Guinevere Stanton. Better not kill me before you talk to her. I’ve got information about her son!”

Guinevere, shocked, ran up to Danse and pulled his arm down. “Eric! Stop it!  This is my friend Nick Valentine. A detective from Diamond City!”

He turned to her, an expression of incredulity on his face. “A synth?! You are consorting with Institute scum?”

She glared at him and went to Nick, taking his arm. “Come on in Nick. Eric is going to calm down and apologize for threatening you.”

Danse frowned. “I’d like to have a word with you, Guinevere. In private.”

She looked up at him. “This is my home, and my friends are welcome here. So is anyone who needs help. Get out of your power armor and come inside Eric. I’m not speaking to you until you apologize to Nick.”

Danse set his jaw. “I will not be apologizing to a repulsive piece of Institute hardware.”

She shrugged. “Your choice then.”

She led Nick away and called to RJ and Hancock.

Nick sat down at the table and Guinevere poured a drink for him as well as for the others.

“So who’s the tin can?” the detective asked.

“That’s Paladin Danse, my partner,” Guinevere answered.

“Partner? You’re working with the Brotherhood?”

She explained the situation to him, after which he shook his head slowly.

“Brotherhood is the last place I’d think to find a sweet gal like you. But I understand. You need a lot of help with your situation. That’s why I’m here actually. Got some news for you.”

Guinevere’s eyes opened wider. “You found my baby? You found Shaun?”

The synth shook his head. “I wish I could say I have, but no. When you described the man who took him, I made some detailed notes. Went back over my old case files. The description was bothering me. I know I’d seen it before.”

Danse entered the room. Guinevere turned and looked at him expectantly.

“Guinevere,” he said. “I need to speak with you.”

She blinked and said nothing.

The muscles in his jaw twitched. She apparently had been serious about her demand.  _ I did promise not to harm her friends _ , he thought.  _ But a synth? This just strengthens my resolve to remove her from this place. _

“I apologize for my earlier threat,” he said. “It’s my duty to protect Guinevere and her home. Guinevere, may I see you now?”

She shook her head. “Nick has information about Shaun. We can talk later. Come sit with me.”

She got up from the chair and let him sit down. He pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms protectively around her.

“Anyway,” continued Nick. “A few months ago a missing person case comes across my desk. Some guy with a kid bought a house in the city. Suddenly one day he vanishes. The housing department came around taking the census and couldn’t find him. Waited a month to see if he showed up but nothing. So the mayor’s secretary came in and made a report. Description matches.”

Guinevere leaned forward. “You said he had a child with him, was it my baby?” Her voice was full of hope.

“Not a baby, no. This child was about 10. Guy’s name was Kellogg. Conrad Kellogg. Didn’t give any other details and didn’t give a name for the child.”

Guinevere sighed deeply. “Shaun is far younger than 10. He’d be just over a year old at this point.”

Nick looked at her. “I’m sorry I don’t have more. We need to search that house. It’s still under his name but they’ll sell it eventually.”

“Even if the kid isn’t Shaun,” said RJ “if the description of the guy matches, we need to follow it up Guinny. It’s all we got right now.”

“Do you have a key?” asked Guinevere.

Nick shook his head. “I don’t. But Ellie Perkins, the mayor’s secretary does. And if she won’t cough it up, there are other ways in.”

RJ grinned. “Guinny is a pro at picking locks.”

“I’ll go with you,” said Nick to Guinevere.

“Me too,” said RJ.

“She doesn’t need anyone but me,” said Danse.

Guinevere gave him a kiss on his cheek. “I know you want to protect me Eric but it’s Diamond City. Nick’s helping me with this case and we can manage fine together. If we learn anything and I need to leave the city I’ll let you know. You too RJ. And Hancock. Since everyone else wants to come.”

The ghoul chuckled. “I need a bit of excitement. I’ll hang out here until I know what’s going on. Keep these guys in line.”

Guinevere smiled. “I’ll take Dogmeat so you can stop worrying.”

“This is unacceptable,” said Danse. “If you need to move on a lead, sending a message or returning here is a waste of valuable time. I will head to the city with you and wait while you search the house.”

“If he’s going so am I,” said RJ. “Guinny you know I got your back and I’m not letting you go into the nine hells without me.”

Hancock stretched and got up. “Guess I’m getting my shit together too. Not going inside the city but I’ll be waiting to see what’s next. Need a little action.”

Guinevere could feel the tension in Danse. She put her arms around his neck and stroked his hair to soothe his ruffled feathers. She understood that he was protective of her, but he needed to learn that her family wasn’t about to step back just because she chose to be in a relationship with him. He was an addition, not a replacement.

“Nick I’ll find a place for you to sleep tonight,” she said.

“No need sweet thing. I’m a synth. I’ll get up on the roof there and help out the turrets.”

Guinevere nodded and stood up, feeling the unhappiness radiating from her Paladin. He followed her outside to the garden.

Danse turned her towards him. “How do we know that thing isn’t going to sabotage the turrets?”

“Eric! That’s ridiculous! Please stop this. I know you don’t like synths. We all know that, but Nick’s my friend and he always will be.”

“Guinevere, I know you are new to the Brotherhood, but this place, your associations...they breach every tenet of our organization.”

She frowned at him. “I was alone with no direction in which to move in regards to my son. Nick was there for me and now we have a lead.”

“The synth is programmed to do and say what it’s masters determine. How can you be sure that it won’t suddenly decide you’re the enemy and attack? Look at it, Guinevere! It’s falling apart on the outside. That doesn’t bode well for the rest of it.”

Guinevere stepped close to him and put her arms around his neck. “Eric, my love,” she said gently. “Nick isn’t an it. He’s a he. And he’s my friend. If you want to be with me, you have to find a way to accept that. I know you don’t approve, but please try and get to know them. You’ll see they aren’t monsters and the Brotherhood is wrong to be so black and white about things. Life is shades of grey.”

He brought his lips to hers tenderly, and she responded, pressing her body against him. 

“I do want to be with you, Guinevere,” he whispered. “If that means I have to travel with...those people...then so be it. Do you want to sit in the garden with me and read? I found a book on your shelf that I’d like to get into.”

She smiled and nodded. “I’ll get my book too.”

“I’ll need to go over my power armor as well, before tomorrow. I noticed a loose servo during my patrol.”

She went back into the diner where Nick and Hancock were having a conversation about Goodneighbor. RJ was looking in the pantry.

“RJ,” she said. “Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat if you like.”

He grinned at her. “I’d love that. Too much. But I got it this time. You need to get whatever you want to bring tomorrow.”

She pointed to her pack on the floor. “I’m always ready,” she said. “Eric and I will be in the garden reading if you need me.”

“I always need you,” said RJ.

Guinevere got their books and went back outside. Danse was on the grass, leaning up against the stone bench. She sat beside him, then lay on her back with her head on his thigh.

“I’m not sure how much reading I’ll get done,” he said. “I like it when you’re this close, but it distracts me.”

She smiled up at him. “Would you rather go inside and make love?”

He looked startled and shifted. “You can be quite candid can’t you! I’d never turn that down but we just completed that activity earlier.”

She laughed softly. “You’re so eloquent Eric. There’s no rules about making love. You can do it all day if you like.”

He cleared his throat and looked off in the distance. “I imagine certain anatomical parts would become rather uncomfortable after a day of it.”

“Maybe. Want to find out?”

Danse didn’t know what to do with himself. He wasn’t one to blush, but he felt a heat rising in his face as he considered how pleasurable it was to be with her that way.

“We haven’t a full day left,” he said.

“Rain check then,” said Guinevere.

Danse looked up. “The sky is clear. Barely any clouds.”

Guinevere laughed. “No silly. Rain check is an old world term. When a store would advertise an item but they didn’t have it in stock, they gave you a rain check which meant you got it at the advertised price when it showed up again.”

Danse blinked. “The old world seemed rather complicated. However I do like your little euphemisms. I’ve learned a lot already in our time together.”

She nodded. “Me too. Your training with me has helped me quite a bit already.”

“There is a lot I wish to teach you still. We’ll be together for a long time. I look forward to it all. Especially starting a family with you.”

The thought warmed her heart. “When do you think you’ll want to do that Eric? How much is going to change when the Prydwen arrives? Will you have to be gone on missions all the time? Will I?”

“Yes we will be assigned missions but you and I will be together. I have drafted a letter of sponsorship which essentially means that I will be responsible for all your training in and out of the field. It also means that if you go down, we both do. Figuratively. Your mistakes will also be mine.”

She liked the idea that they wouldn’t be separated. She admitted to him that she had been concerned about it.

“Don’t be,” he said. “We will serve the Brotherhood together, side by side. However, if you become pregnant, you’ll be removed from the duty roster but I won’t. You’ll also need to live on the Prydwen in order to have access to our chief medical officer. Cade is a fine man and a dedicated soldier.”

She curled up. “But I don’t want to live on the Prydwen,” she said. “Why can’t I live at  home? With my family? Couldn’t I just go to the airship when I needed medical care?”

Danse looked unsure. “I...I don’t really know. Wouldn’t you need to be cared for daily? I openly admit I know next to nothing about pregnancy.”

“We only need medical attention if it’s a high risk situation. And near the end. With Shaun I had no problems and my activities didn’t change until I went into labor.”

“Is it as terrible as the stories say?” he asked.

“It can be pretty painful yes. But it can’t be that bad if women are willing to do it multiple times! We forget pretty quickly when we hold our baby in our arms.”

He looked down at her, his expression tender. “I never actually asked you if you wanted to have a child with me. I just assumed it was a logical step to take in a relationship.”

She reached a hand up and stroked his cheek. “Eric, I’d like nothing more. As to when, well it happens when it happens. Life has it’s own agenda.”

He sighed softly. “Then we continue to do what we’re doing and hope for the best then.”

“That sounds about right,” she said. 

* * *

The group set out early in the morning for Diamond City. 

“I believe we need to procure a radio so we can communicate with the station as we did from Fairfax,” said Danse.

“Ok,” said Guinevere. “Any ideas on how to do this? I don’t know the first thing about radios.”

“We can check with Initiate Price at the station. Scribe Haylen may also have an idea. You haven’t spoken with her in quite awhile,” said Danse. “Perhaps we should stop there on the way back, the two of us.”

He said the last part loudly, to ensure the others understood.

“You’re so subtle tinman,” said RJ rolling his eyes.

He draped his arm around Guinevere’s shoulder and pulled her close for a moment.

Danse turned and scooped her up in his arms, giving her a kiss. She hung her head over his arm and looked at RJ upside down.

“Paladin transportation service,” she giggled.

Guinevere tried to lighten the mood between them but the tension between RJ and Danse could have been cut with a knife. She worried that eventually the two of them would explode at one another again. RJ had the habit of antagonizing Danse and nothing she said to him stopped him in any way.

She ended up talking to Nick most of the way when Danse put her down. RJ and Hancock discussed the car and the track idea, and occasionally RJ would take her hand, upsetting Danse who couldn’t hold her that way with his power armor as she would have no part of it. 

They stopped to rest and Danse brought out the food he had packed for him and Guinevere. He exited his power armor and laid the meal out quite nicely on a rock a short distance from the others.

They sat down to eat and RJ walked over and sat down with them.

“Your presence is not desired here, MacCready,” said Danse firmly. “Please join the others.”

RJ completely ignored him and looked over the food. “This looks better than what I brought. Got a bit lazy this morning. I brought bourbon though. Want some Guinny?”

She wrinkled her nose up. “No thanks, I don’t like that stuff.”

“MacCready!” Danse raised his voice. “Leave Guinevere and I in peace!”

RJ blinked. “Didn’t hear that … a bit louder tinman, the molerats didn’t quite pick it up either.”

Guinevere put her hand on RJ’s arm. “Don’t be a pain RJ,” she said. “Go hang out with Nick and Hancock. Brotherhood talk won’t interest you. Ok?”

RJ looked disappointed but got up and went back to the others.  Dogmeat lay down beside Guinevere after drinking the water she offered him.

RJ looked over at Guinevere and saw Danse take her hand and kiss it, then lean in and do the same to her lips. She looked so happy and laughed softly. 

_ Brotherhood talk yeah right _ , he thought miserably. 

When they moved on, RJ walked ahead of the group with Dogmeat. Danse carried Guinevere sometimes to be closer to her and the mercenary didn’t want to see it.

When they reached the city, Hancock took a seat outside and brought out his chems. “I’ll be right here chillin’ out.”

The guard inside the gates stopped Danse. “We’ll not tolerate any trouble from you,” he said.

“I assure you, any trouble will not be coming from me,” answered Danse.

As the group walked past the newspaper offices, Piper ran over and hugged Guinevere.

“You never come see me anymore! Where’ve you been girl?” 

“It’s been crazy for me, I’m sorry Piper. I’d like you to meet Paladin Danse.”

Piper looked up at Danse who nodded to her.  Guinevere whispered something to her friend and Piper gave a little squeal. “That’s awesome, he’s eye candy all right!”

RJ scowled and wandered away.

Piper tried to drag Guinevere into her office but Danse stopped her. “We’ve a time sensitive mission to attend to,” he said. “Perhaps Guinevere will visit with you afterwards if possible.”

Piper raised her eyebrows. “Woah there big guy!” she exclaimed. “Are you going to break out an appointment book next?”

Guinevere looked a bit mawkish. “He’s right though Piper. I’ve got a lead on my son. Maybe. I’ll tell you about it after.”

Piper’s eyes lit up. “Your little boy? That’s amazing! I knew Nick would come through for you you! Promise me you won’t leave DC til we talk ok?  We need to catch up, girlie!”

Guinevere said she’d do her best, then followed Nick to the elevator that went up to the Mayor’s office.

Ellie Perkins was sitting at her desk looking through a magazine.  “Welcome to Diamond City. Mayor McDonough isn’t seeing anyone today.”

“I’m not here for the mayor,” said Guinevere. “I’ve come to ask you about the house owned by a man named Kellogg.”

“Kellogg? He was our missing person. Did Nicky find him yet?”

Guinevere shook her head. “Could we get the key from you to search the place?”

Ellie looked suspicious. “I don’t know you. What business do you have with Kellogg? Did you know him?”

Guinevere shook her head. As always she chose to be honest. “Nick is helping me with my case. I’m...I’m from Vault 111. My baby was kidnapped from there and we think Kellogg had something to do with it.”

Ellie’s eyes popped open wider. “You’re from a vault? What generation?”

“I’m first generation. Our vault put us all in cryosleep.”

Ellie covered her mouth with her hand to suppress her squeal. “You poor thing! You’re like 200 years old! And Kellogg took  your son? He was here with a child. A sweet little boy about 10 years old! Could that be him?” She opened her desk and took out a lockbox. Opening it she withdrew a key and handed it to Guinevere.

Guinevere took it with a grateful smile. “My little boy would be just over a year old.”

“Oh honey I’m so sorry!” cried Ellie. “Just to think that that man has maybe been kidnapping other children too is heartbreaking. But to ease your mind, he was never cruel to the boy. In fact I saw him in the marketplace buying him a soda once. I thought they were father and son. Nothing seemed off to me.”

Guinevere chewed on her lower lip. “Thank you Ellie,” she said. “So far this is the only lead we have. I’ll return the key as soon as we’ve finished our search.”

“Ok sugar. Gosh I hope you find something useful. In 2 weeks the place goes up for sale again so search it thoroughly.”

Ellie looked past Guinevere and waggled her fingers at Nick. “How’s our effective detective?” she asked.

“Just fine Ellie, just fine. I see you’re doing alright too. Looking good.”

She smiled and looked away.

Guinevere put the key in her pocket and walked back to the elevator.

Danse was waiting at the bottom and RJ stood some distance away drinking a Nuka Cola. As she walked by him, he gave her a bottle.

“Here Guinny. Figured you’d be thirsty by now.”

She took it with a grateful smile. “You know me too well RJ,” she said.

They walked to Nick’s office but Danse refused to go in.

“I’ll wait out here for now,” he said. “Then stand guard near the house you’re checking out. I’m not letting you too far from me Guinevere. This whole situation could get out of hand quickly should this Kellogg make a return.”

“He hasn’t been seen in months,” said Nick. “Slim chance of him suddenly showing up now.”

The Paladin rested his armored hands lightly on her shoulders. “The Brotherhood stands together,” he said firmly.

“Just like friends,” Nick said and went inside.

“Leave the suit and come in with us, we won’t be here long,” said Guinevere to Danse.  

He shook his head. “I don’t trust the people of this forsaken city. I’ll be with you when you go.”  

He leaned down and tenderly kissed her, and it lasted a bit longer than both of them intended. Danse was aware of the mercenary’s eyes boring into him.  _ The sooner he learns that Guinevere won’t be leaving my side, the better. His constant interference with her is irking me. _

“See you in a few minutes then,” she said and went inside. RJ followed her, turning at the door to give Danse a mock salute. The Paladin stared over his head, ignoring him completely.

Nick showed Guinevere the case file for Kellogg. She read it and told him the description he’d written down matched hers to a T. Ellie had also described the child, but since Guinevere was sure it couldn’t be her son, she didn’t pay much attention to it.  

The strangest thing of all was that the city guard on duty that day saw Kellogg and the boy enter the premises, but only Kellogg emerged the following day. Neither was ever seen again. When asked if he could have missed seeing them both leave, the guard was adamant that he was sure.

“Well sugar, are you ready to see what we can find? I suppose you couldn’t dissuade your tin can to stay behind?” asked Nick.

Guinevere shook her head.  “He’s very protective of me,” she said. “He loves me Nick. It’s nice to be loved again.”

At her words, RJ grit his teeth but said nothing.

“Well make sure he doesn’t smother that flame of yours. Be a damn shame,” said Nick.

“I’ll die before I see that happen,” muttered RJ. “Or _he_ will.”

“Looks like you have two pups fighting over you,” observed Nick.

Guinevere gave him a small smile. “It’s kind of complicated Nick.”

“Soldier boy there thinks he’s in love with her,” said RJ.

“Looks like it goes both ways to me,” answered Nick.

“Guinny just doesn’t remember that she belongs with me. Yet.” said RJ as Guinevere stepped back outside.

Nick stopped him.  “Look son. I know you got a thing for her. It’s always been pretty obvious. Word of advice, synth-to-man. Don’t undermine her choice. Diminishes you in her eyes. If you don’t think it’ll work out, be there to catch her. And tell her how you feel.”

RJ eyed the strange looking, decrepit synth. “I did tell her. Not the way I wanted it to go but she knows. And I  _ know _ she loves me.”

“Don’t put her in the middle. Don’t make her choose, son. You’ll lose. Wait it out.”

RJ lit up a cigarette and went outside. The synth had a point. But that wasn’t going to stop him from trying to make Guinevere see the Paladin’s true colors.

* * *

Kellogg’s house was sparsely furnished. There was no indication that a child had ever inhabited the place. No toys, books or games littered the area. It made Guinevere sad to think a little boy had lived in such austere surroundings. Then again he could have taken his things with him. 

Regardless of the guard’s insistence that the child had never left the building, that notion in and of itself was impossible. He went in, he had to have come out. There was only one door. The guard could have been hiding the fact he’d wandered off or gone to relieve himself.

“There’s nothing useful here,” said Guinevere resignedly. 

“There’s always something,” Nick said. “Search carefully.”

She looked through the cabinets, hacked the computer, opened all the drawers, but found nothing that gave any clue to who Kellogg was, where he had gone, nor who the child was.

She dropped her glove and bent down to retrieve it when her eyes fell on a red button under the desk, quite well hidden.

“Nick, there’s a button down here. I’d press it but what if it’s wired to a bomb?”

Nick gave it a look. “Go ahead and push it. An explosive device would be rigged to go off as soon as we entered.”

Guinevere gingerly pushed it. There was a whirring sound and a sharp click, then a section of the wall slid back revealing another room.

“Yes!” she cried.

The room didn’t contain much of anything but a table and easy chair. There were remains of cigarettes, and an empty bottle of alcohol. There was also a bit of cloth.

“This is an unusual brand of cigarettes,” said Nick. “San Francisco Sunlights. Not easily obtainable around here. From the area around New Vegas if I remember right. Our man here has some exotic tastes.”

He thought a moment and was quiet. “We have your dog. How good is he at tracking?”

Guinevere brightened up. “He’s pretty good at it. I haven’t done it often but he’s never failed to find what I asked him to.”

“This might be a longshot sugar, but we can see if he can track Kellogg by the smell of the cigarettes. They’re a pretty potent type. Plus this cloth might have something on it.”

“I’ll try anything,” said Guinevere. She picked up the butts from the ashtray, and the cloth.

Danse turned as she emerged. “Anything?” he asked.

She nodded and called for Dogmeat. Kneeling in front of her dog, she let him smell the cigarettes and the cloth.

“Can you find this, boy?”

Dogmeat barked and spun around. He ran to the stairs then turned around and looked at Guinevere.

“I’m coming boy!” She ran after the dog.


	16. Kellogg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere and her friends confront Kellogg, with devastating results. A shocking sight awaits them at the end of their mission.

* * *

He headed for the ramp leading out of Diamond City. “Wait Dogmeat!” she cried. “We need to find RJ!”

RJ emerged from the side of a building. “I’m right here Guinny. You didn’t think I’d let you go off without me did you?”

The brightness of her smile made him smile too. As she advanced towards the dog, he sprinted off again.

Hancock was still sitting where they’d left him, relaxing and watching the comings and goings of the people.

“We’re following Dogmeat!” cried Guinevere as she ran past. “Come on John!”

They must have been a strange sight. The shepherd ambling up ahead, followed by Guinevere, Danse in his power armor, Nick, RJ and Hancock.

Dogmeat stopped to sniff the ground and the air, veering from left to right occasionally, but always managing to pick up the scent again.

Their rumbling feet awoke a nest of mole rats but Danse ended them with a few quick blasts.

Dogmeat stopped at a little lake where a chair and table sat. A few crushed cigarettes lay there. San Francisco Sunlights.

“We’re on the right track!” exclaimed Guinevere. “Good boy, Dogmeat! Find him!”

The dog led them to an old ruined building. A few raider bodies lay inside, but outside was a strip of cloth covered in blood, and a cigarette butt. Kellogg had been wounded and stopped to bind those wounds.

RJ checked the bodies and found a box of caps and ammo.  “Losers,” he said.

Dogmeat moved on, zig zagging over the terrain.

He crested a hill and kept running. “I know this place,” said Danse. “Fort Hagen.”

“What’s inside it? Ferals?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” answered Danse. “It’s on the list as a consideration for a Brotherhood base of operations, but we never had the manpower yet to explore it.”

“Guinny and I could’ve managed it on our own and you tin cans couldn’t?” scoffed RJ.

“I didn’t say we failed, I said we never sent anyone.”

“And I say  _ you _ should’ve been able to get in there and deal with whatever on your own with that fancy armor and weapon of yours.”

Danse looked at the mercenary with complete disdain. “As the commander of my team, it would have been irresponsible to leave them. Additionally, only a fool would enter an unknown facility on their own. Fools tend to die quickly.”

RJ laughed at him. “Yet here I am! Cleared a few buildings myself.”

“On borrowed time I’m sure,” said Danse rather menacingly.

RJ raised his eyebrows and pointed his locked weapon at Danse. “Was that a threat there, tinman?”

Danse stepped towards him. “Don’t be absurd MacCready. Your inability to control your emotions is disturbing and will get someone killed!”

RJ waved his gun. “Yeah, you maybe.”

Guinevere stepped between them. “RJ, Eric wasn’t threatening you. Put the gun down we need to use it on whatever’s in the building.”

RJ’s expression softened as he looked at her. “Alright Guinny.” He put his weapon away. Danse put his helmet on.

“Stick together,” he said. “If one of you undisciplined civilians gets yourself into a bind, I won’t be risking myself or Guinevere to bail you out of it.”

“What a real charmer you are tinman,” said RJ shaking his head.

Guinevere sighed and walked forward, looking for the entrance. Dogmeat was pacing restlessly around the area, also seeking a way in. They found a few dead raiders and feral ghouls, none of which had anything of value on them. The bodies appeared to have been picked clean.

“Stairs over here,” said Danse.

They ascended and ended up on the roof but there was no obvious entrance. Nick wandered around then crossed to another section of the building by leaping the chasm.

“There’s a hatch here!” he called out. “Going to blast the chain off it.”

He heaved open the hatch as the others gathered.

“I’ll go down first,” said Danse. “Synth, you follow me. Then the ghoul.”

“Eric!” cried Guinevere. “Their names are Nick and John!”

"Hey!” called RJ. “Who am I then? The merc?”

“Cannon fodder,” answered Danse.

RJ was laughing. “Get a load of him. So full of himself. How can you stand him, Guinny seriously?”

She tightened her lips. “RJ is it your personal quest now to antagonize Eric?”

RJ made a dramatic pose to show he was thinking. “Yes. Yes it is.”

“What if I asked you to please stop?” she asked.

RJ reached out and touched her cheek. “I’d say you know I’d do anything for you. Except that. Tinman’s so full of ... _ shit.” _

“Guinevere!” called Danse. “Come on down.” He didn’t mention RJ, who followed after her.

They moved as quietly as possible, keeping an ear out for whomever might be inside the building. They found a kitchen, devoid of anything useful aside from a box of ancient Fancy Lad Snack Cakes.

RJ suddenly let out an exclamation of joy. He held up a copy of Guns and Bullets and slipped it into his pack.

Suddenly a synthetic voice sounded out, followed by a series of blue laser blasts.

“Synths!” cried Danse, he let loose with his weapon. “The Institute has been here, or is doing something with this building. We need to find out what it is.”

They moved further, Dogmeat still veering left and right. Synths appeared and began firing, and this time Nick had the upper hand.

“Hole in the floor here, watch your step Guinevere. Stairs ahead,” said Danse.

They descended the stairs and found a Protectron in it’s charging station. Danse fired at it, reducing it to a smoldering mess.

“Damn, tinman,” said RJ. “What’d he ever do to you?”

“Exist,” answered Danse.

They searched each room carefully but found very little. Suddenly a voice sounded all around them.

“If it isn't my old friend, the frozen TV dinner. Last time we met, you were cozying up to the peas and apple cobbler.”

Guinevere looked around in shock. “Kellogg? Is that you?”

There was no response. Moving on, the group found a turret and destroyed it, and an ammo crate which Guinevere picked open.

The voice sounded again. “Sorry  _ your _ house has been a wreck for two hundred years. But I don't need a roommate. Leave.”

The cruelty in the voice and the words was shocking to Guinevere and her reaction irritated RJ.

“You’re getting a bullet between the eyes!” yelled RJ. “Hear me asshole?!”

Danse turned to him. “Can you let every synth in this building know where we are?”

“Yes!” yelled RJ again.

Danse scowled at him and moved on, Guinevere behind him. They hit several dead ends and had to backtrack, finding several synths who attacked them immediately. Danse stomped on their heads on his way past.

Again the voice. “Hmph. Never expected you to come knocking on my door. Gave you 50/50 odds of making it to Diamond City. After that? Figured the Commonwealth would chew you up like jerky.”

Danse looked down at Guinevere. “He’s trying to intimidate and unnerve us. He’ll soon find out it’s useless.”

They trudged forward and found another staircase. They’d gotten halfway down when the voice came again.

“Look. You're pissed off. I get it. I do. But whatever you hope to accomplish in here? It is not going to go your way.”

They continued on, Guinevere wondering what sort of psychopath she’d find at the end of the line. She was suddenly grateful that she wasn’t alone. Everyone she cared about was with her.

Danse blasted a door open at the bottom. The voice came again.

“You've got guts and determination, and that's admirable. But you are in over your head in ways you can't possibly comprehend.”

RJ bristled. “ _ He _ can’t comprehend the death that’s coming for him very soon.”

Hancock, who’d been silent most of the time, spoke up. “If there’s going to be any killing, the vengeance belongs to our girl here. She’s owed that much, you feel me?”

All of them, even Danse agreed.

They were attacked then by several synths, some in armor that required quite a bit of work to take down. 

“It's not too late. Stop. Turn around and leave. You have that option. Not a lot of people can say that.” The voice seemed calmer now, less agitated and more in control.

As they crossed another hallway, a strange beam of light emanated from the end. It was bluish green and caught Danse as he fired in it’s direction. It seemed to scan him a few times before a synth appeared and fired at him.

“Die!” cried the Paladin and shot a volley into it. The synth seemed to have some sort of forcefield around it, and remained undamaged.

Danse ducked for cover behind some debris and continued firing, the others helping him. Suddenly the synth vanished.

“What in the hell?” asked RJ. “Never seen them do that before.”

A chill made Guinevere shudder. “What was that beam of light it had? I’ve never seen such a weapon on a synth.”

“It was most likely it’s forcefield,” said Danse. “The Brotherhood needs to get a hold of that technology. Filthy synths.”

A few more synths appeared but they were of no consequence. Presently the group entered a room, which had oddly been furnished with nicer, less damaged furniture. There were full bottles of wine and vodka. RJ and Hancock helped themselves and filled their packs.

“Okay, you made it,” said the voice. “I'm just up ahead. My synths are standing down. Let's talk.”

Guinevere shot a look at Danse. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “You’re not alone Guinevere. If anything in there even considers making a move, I’ll obliterate it.”

She nodded and Danse opened the door. She walked through and the others followed  her down a long corridor that opened into what once had been a control room of some kind.

A set of stone stairs led into it. There were a few synths standing idly by, and in the middle of them stood a man.

Guinevere felt herself trembling as she remembered that horrific moment when he had looked in at her cryopod after murdering Nate. She remembered that dreadful, evil face with the scar.

“And there she is. The most resilient woman in the Commonwealth,” said Kellogg.

The emotionless way in which he looked at her and spoke, fired up her anger.  He had destroyed her family, destroyed her life.

“You murdering, kidnapping psychopath! Give me my son. Give me Shaun! Now!” she snarled, surprising herself.

“Right to it then, huh? Okay. Fine.” He looked her over, a sinister smile on his face.

“Your son, Shaun. Great kid. A little older than you may have expected, but I'm guessing you figured that out by now.” He sighed. “But if you're hoping for a happy reunion? Ain't gonna happen. Your boy's not here.”

She shook with anger. “Tell me where he is, damn it!” Against her will, tears filled her eyes. 

Kellogg studied her face a moment. “He's with the people pulling the strings. You see, lady, I'm just a puppet like you. My stage is a little bigger, that's all.”

Guinevere squeezed her eyes shut. “Just tell me where he is!”

Kellogg sighed again. “Shaun's in a good place. Where he's safe, and comfortable, and loved. A place he calls home. The Institute.”

She had expected that would be the case, but hearing it spoken so matter-of-factly still shocked her. She felt RJ standing close behind her, his hands on her waist, offering her comfort. To her far right, flanking Kellogg, Danse stood with his weapon at the ready. On the left flank Nick and Hancock watched the proceedings. Her dog stood between them.

Guinevere met Kellogg’s eyes and saw how devoid of emotion and expression they were.  “Then you're going to take me to him. Right now.”

Kellogg laughed. “Heh. Haven't you been paying attention? You don't find the Institute. The Institute finds you. I couldn’t get there even if I wanted to.”

She tightened her lips and her eyes narrowed.  “How do I find them? You have to know how! You work for them!”

Kellogg’s dull eyes roamed her face. “You open the closet, it’s just a closet. You can never find the monster that hides inside. Not until it jumps out at you.”

“If the synths can get in and out, so can we.”

“God, you're persistent,” said Kellogg. “I give you credit. It's the way a mother should act. The way I'd be acting if I were in your place, I like to think. Even if it  _ is _ useless.”

Guinevere stared at him. Here was the one person who knew where her son was, and who refused to give her any information. She felt hopeless and disappointed but at least, if Kellogg were to be believed, Shaun was alive and unhurt.

“You know I’ll find the Institute. It’s just a matter of time.”

He shrugged. “If you say so. It would be better for you to let him go. He’s gone. Your time together is over. Your son is exactly where he belongs. In another life, you probably would have been a good mother. But here... in this terrible reality? You just don't get that chance.”

Guinevere clicked the safety off on her weapon. It was a tiny, subtle movement, but she knew that Danse noticed it. Her eyes went to his, and his flicked over the synths. She blinked once before returning her gaze to Kellogg. Behind her, RJ felt her body shift and moved back, and she knew that he was also standing ready.

“But I think we've been talking long enough,” said Kellogg. “We both know how this has to end. So... you ready?”

Maybe he had underestimated her, maybe he thought Guinevere would lack the courage to kill him. Whatever he had thought, he was wrong.  Kellogg didn’t see her fire but felt the sharp hit of the laser as it struck his head. 

He looked up at her. “I...I should have killed you...while you were on ice.”

Her eyes were cold as she fired again. “That was your mistake.”

The synths reacted, but two were shot down by Danse’s quick reflexes, and the others by Hancock, Dogmeat, Nick and RJ.

Afterwards, no one said a word. Guinevere stood staring down at Kellogg’s dead body. She had come so far, yet remained a world away from her little boy.

Tears dripped from her eyes. “Damn you!” she sobbed. “I just want my baby! I want my little boy!”

As she began to cry, RJ put his arms around her. Danse stepped out of his power armor and went to her.

“I can handle this MacCready,” he said, trying to pull Guinevere into his arms. RJ was about to give a sharp retort when he felt Hancock’s hand on his shoulder.

“MacCready, I think there’s a magazine or two over here. We should check this place out before we go.”

RJ let Guinevere go and slowly wandered away with his friend.

Guinevere turned to Danse and buried her face in his chest. He held onto her, kissing her head and stroking her back soothingly.

She looked up at him, hiccupping. He smoothed her hair back from her face, and brushed her tears away. “We’ll find Shaun, I promise you. No matter what it takes.”

Nick had crouched down at the body. “Well whaddya know,” he exclaimed softly. “Looks like this fool was more machine than man. Was wondering how he survived that first blast to the head.”

He pulled up some bloody, pulpy looking cybernetic enhancements. He wiped them clean as best he could. “Got a feeling this might come in handy. Always respect your hunches,” he said and put it in his pocket.

RJ and Hancock had found a few tech items worth trying to sell, and snuck them into their packs. There were also a few magazines which pleased RJ.

Guinevere calmed herself and let Danse console her for a few more minutes, before she took in her surroundings. Kellogg’s weapon lay at her feet and she picked it up. It was an odd design, heavily modified.

“John,” she said. “You might have fun with this thing. Do you want it?”

Her friend inspected it. “I’ll give it a try. Thanks, doll. You alright?”

She nodded. “I’ll be ok in time. I just hoped this would be more fruitful than it was.”

“It didn’t turn out as we hoped, but there is progress,” said Nick. “We’ll get there. Saw a computer over there. Might have some clues.”

Danse followed her over as she hacked into the system. “You have some impressive skills Guinevere,” he said. “They’ll come in handy during our missions.”

The terminal yielded little of value but mentioned Shaun and the Institute several times. The realization that her son was no longer the tiny baby she had known, brought a fresh flood of tears. “I lost ten years of his life,” she sobbed. “How can I expect him to know me anymore?”

“Everyone wonders where they came from,” said Danse softly. “Shaun will think about his parents and have questions as well. It’s natural for a child to want to know his roots, especially his mother.”

“What if they lied to him?” she said tearfully. “What if the people who took him there didn’t tell him about me, and he’s been raised by someone else!”

Danse took her hands. “I know this is hard Guinevere. Nothing about what you’ve gone through has been easy nor fair. Kellogg said that Shaun’s loved and cared for. That counts for a lot. As sadistic an animal as he was, Kellogg would have achieved pleasure from torturing you with horror stories about your son. Yet he didn’t. So no matter what, at this point you know he’s been cared for. It will take time for Shaun to accept the truth once you find him, but he will.”

She wiped her eyes and nodded. Her emotions were frayed and all she wanted was to go home and sleep for a week. She used the terminal to activate the elevator.

“Let’s go home,” she said. “I know I promised Piper I’d visit with her but I think she’ll understand if I just come back another day. Will you tell her what happened, Nick?”

The synth nodded. “Of course sugar.”

They piled into the elevator, everyone except Nick and Dogmeat bone weary.

They emerged onto the roof, twilight having descended over the Commonwealth.

“Mother of devils!” exclaimed Nick suddenly. “What in the hell is  _ that  _ thing?”

They looked up towards his pointing finger and stared in awe.

Moving slowly through the sky, surrounded by vertibirds, was a massive airship.

A voice boomed over a loudspeaker.

“People of the Commonwealth. Do not interfere. Our intentions are peaceful. We are the Brotherhood of Steel.”


	17. The Prydwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the arrival of the Brotherhood's great airship, Guinevere realizes a disappointing truth about Danse.

* * *

“Ad victoriam!” cried Danse. “There she is! The Prydwen!”

Guinevere stared in rapt fascination. Bright lights decorated the outside of the ship, and searchlights swung to and fro from beneath. She saw a vertibird twitch on an extension before being released into the air. 

“Finally, the salvation of the Commonwealth has arrived!” Danse could barely contain his joy.

Guinevere was impressed to be sure. The Prydwen was a magnificent piece of technology. Why then did she feel a ball of fear in the pit of her stomach?

Her eyes went to RJ who looked both astonished and unhappy. She reached her hand out for his and gave it a squeeze.

Behind her, Nick spoke softly, reciting a stanza from an old world poem. “Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing.”

Guinevere turned around to him. His words resonated with her. Nick continued to watch the Prydwen. “Flying that ship into the heart of the Commonwealth. Mark my words, the Brotherhood’s here to start a war,” he said softly.

“Holy shit,” said Hancock. “Brotherhood knows how to make an entrance. I’ll give ‘em that.”

“Guinevere,” said Danse. “We need to return to the station.”

She shook her head. “Eric, I’m exhausted. My emotions are in tatters. I need to go home and sleep. Please come with me. We can go to the station tomorrow.” Her eyes were sad and tired.

He looked disappointed. “The Prydwen will be sending us the reinforcements we need! Guinevere, this is a monumental day! Aren’t you the least bit excited?”

Her grip inadvertently tightened on RJ’s hand. After all she’d been through that day, she was dismayed that Danse could only think of the airship.

“Yes, I’m curious about the Prydwen. She’s going to still be here in the morning though and I can’t handle any more excitement tonight. I really need to go home. Please come with me, Eric.”

She couldn’t understand why, after believing and looking forward to the Brotherhood fixing up the world, she felt nothing but anxiety inside herself. Her heart was beating too fast, and she wanted to run away and hide.

RJ felt it and tried to distract her. “Guinny let’s go home. This pack is heavy with all the alcohol we got. Plus I found some magazines too!”

“I need a chem break,” said Hancock walking away.

“It’s back to DC and the office for me,” said Nick. “I’ll try to figure out what these augments are, and get back to you as soon as I can sugar.”

Guinevere nodded wearily and tried to give him a smile. “Thanks Nick. Don’t forget about my message for Piper.”

He tapped his head. “Synth. Eidetic memory.”

Danse caught Guinevere’s free hand. She pulled free; she didn’t like the suit touching her. RJ let her go and walked away to join Hancock. Danse exited the power armor and took her in his arms.

“You look unhappy, Guinevere,” he observed. “You shouldn’t be. Now we’ll have the help we need to eliminate our enemies. If the Prydwen is here that means Elder Maxson is as well, and you can be sure he’s got a plan of action ready.”

She shrugged. “Right now all I feel is tired and emotional. I’m sorry I can’t be as excited as you are. I just hoped I could go to sleep in your arms tonight.”

He kissed her head. “Recon Team Gladius has been waiting for assistance for a long time. Now that it’s here I have a responsibility to meet them. Being from a military family, I know you understand protocols.”

She nodded. “I do. I’m sorry for seeming so selfish Eric but  _ I _ need you right now. I’m a mess…” She looked up at him tearfully. 

“Tonight I found my son and lost him again...I feel so lost…” She tried to stifle the sob that wanted out but was unsuccessful. 

Why couldn’t he just be there for her this time? She understood he wanted to board the airship and reunite with the Brotherhood. But the Prydwen wasn’t going anywhere. 

“I won’t be away from you for long,” said Danse softly. “I need to debrief the team and get them situation. It’s my responsibility, Guinevere.”

She realized that there would be no turning his focus away. He was a soldier first and foremost just as her father and Nate had been. But it hadn’t ever felt so difficult with either of them. 

With a resigned sigh she said. “I’ll see you soon then.”

She pulled away from him, but then drew her back and kissed her. “I love you,” he whispered.

At that moment all she felt was disappointment and sorrow, but she repeated the sentiment and made him smile.

Danse climbed back into his power armor and walked to the edge of the building. Putting on his helmet, he leaped off, and she heard the impact as he landed. She watched him run off into the night.

Guinevere let her tears and sorrow free. She rested her hands on her knees and sobbed quietly. She felt empty inside. Abandoned. Desolate.

RJ’s hand rested lightly on her shoulder. “I’m still here Guinny,” he said gently. “I won’t leave you alone, especially not tonight. That asshole is clueless. You need him and all he wants to do is play soldier boy. You deserve better Guinny.”

She wiped her tears away and stood up. “It’s hard when someone you love is in the military,” she said. “It always comes first.”

“That’s why I want no part of it,” RJ said, taking her hand and leading her away. “I think people need to come first. People you love. Not ideals. They’re great, but they can’t love you back.”

She said nothing. He was right, but a military life was all she’d ever known. Being second place to her father had been normal. He was there as long as the army didn’t need him. Nate had tried hard to balance his family and career, but when the army called, he answered. She’d refused to start a family with him until he retired. Still, remembering her previous life, it had never felt as heart wrenching as it did now.

_Eric wants to conceive a child with me at this point in time. With everyone’s future uncertain, even our relationship has glitches in it. It’s not logical but I miss being a mother._ _Am I making a huge mistake in agreeing to it? Am I being selfish?_

“You’d never be second fiddle to me, Guinny,” said RJ softly. 

Hancock hugged her gently, doing his best to offer some comfort. He admitted he wasn’t very good at the softer parts of a relationship, but Guinevere disagreed.

The three of them and the dog walked home through the night.


	18. Twisted Fates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feeling broken and confused, Guinevere does the unthinkable.
> 
> **This chapter NSFW**

* * *

Guinevere couldn’t get a grip on her emotions. No matter how hard she tried, her deep sorrow over her son stabbed into her like a sharp, serrated knife, leaving her one big, ragged open wound.

The tiny baby whose birth had been so celebrated, who was loved by his family more than there were words for, was gone forever.

Her time in the cryopod had robbed her of time as well as her family, and now her precious Shaun had spent ten years in heaven knew what kind of environment, in a place she had yet to find any inkling of. Would she  _ ever _ see her little boy again? Have a chance to explain to him what had happened? Give him the truth of who he is?

Guinevere wanted her son to know that he was loved beyond measure. That no matter what had happened it had been completely out of her and Nate’s control, and that she loved him still just as much as she ever had, and that his father had died trying to protect him.

She cried as she washed the road dirt off herself, cried as she got into bed and tried to rest. Her head ached, her eyes felt swollen and grainy. She had left her door open, the thought of isolating herself bothered her. 

She wanted Dogmeat to feel free to wander in and out as he often did. His fur made him too hot and he would go outside and lie on the grass or on the cool garage floor. 

She listened to Codsworth patrolling around, the soft hiss of his engine and the occasional whir of his internal systems was a comforting sound.

She knew John had climbed up on the roof. He didn’t sleep much and when he did he liked it to be up high. She felt safe with him up there. His ghoul’s vision could spot danger well before the turrets did.

She had heard RJ walking around, emptying his pack and putting things away. She smelled the smoke from his cigarettes and sometimes caught the soft line or two from a song.

Guinevere’s heart was broken and she desperately wanted comfort. She wanted to be held and consoled and made to believe that everything would be alright. Even if it was a lie.

She dozed off and was assailed by one nightmare after another. The last one left her shaking and crying. She sat up sobbing.

RJ appeared in her doorway. “Hey Guinny,” he said softly. “Can I come in?”

“Yes, yes please!”

He walked in, kicking the door closed, and sat on the edge of the bed. Guinevere curled up with her head on his thigh and he began stroking her hair.

“I’m too old to have nightmares,” she lamented.

“After what you’ve been through, I can’t believe you don’t have them all the time. I sure couldn’t deal with the crap you’ve had to Guinny.”

She traced patterns on his hand. “You’ve had it worse than me. Your whole life. At least I knew happiness once.”

He shook his head. “In a way we are kind of in the same boat. We have sons we love and don’t have with us. We’re gonna find Shaun. You hang onto that thought Guinny-veer.”

She tried to smile as she looked up at him. RJ always did his best to cheer her.

“Yeah there she is,” he said affectionately. “My beautiful girl.”

Guinevere repositioned herself. “Can you hold me, RJ? I feel so alone and lost."

He lay down on his back and she rested her head on his chest, her arm across his body. RJ lightly caressed her and he felt her finally relax.

“If it’s not too hard on you, can you tell me about the old world?” He asked carefully.

Guinevere was quiet for a moment. “It was...beautiful. Life was so colorful and vibrant...there was a song that I used to love. We’d go on holiday to a place called Cape Cod. My parents and Nate’s and Shaun went with us once when he was a month old. It was the best time because my father had leave and could join us. He rarely could do that.”

RJ’s heart melted when her soft, sweet, imperfect voice tried to paint him a picture with an old melody of a song he’d never heard.

“ _ If you’re fond of sand dunes and salty air _

_ Quaint little villages here and there _

_ You’re sure to fall in love with old Cape Cod. _

 

_ If you like the taste of a lobster stew _

_ Served by a window with an ocean view _

_ You’re sure to fall in love with old Cape Cod. _

 

_ Winding roads that seem to beckon you _

_ Miles of green beneath a sky of blue _

_ Church bells chiming on a Sunday morn _

_ Remind you of the town where you were born. _

 

_ If you spend an evening you’ll want to stay _

_ Watching the moonlight on Cape Cod Bay _

_ You’re sure to fall in love with old Cape Cod.” _

Guinevere lifted her head and RJ tilted his chin down to tell her how beautiful her song was. They both froze in place, eyes locked and lips so close they could feel each other’s breath.

RJ closed the distance and let his lips graze against hers.  _ She’s gonna hit me or something for this _ , he thought.

But she didn’t.

Guinevere’s broken heart cried out for tenderness, for compassion, for a connection. She raised her hand to his head and stroked his hair, parting her lips and letting him kiss her again.

RJ didn’t second think it. No longer content to graze, he deepened the kiss and she responded.

Guinevere fell back against the pillows, her heart racing wildly. RJ partially lay over her and she could feel his desire. Her hands roamed from his hair, down his shoulders to his back, where she made contact with his skin beneath his shirt.

She felt as though she were in a dream, everything was moving slowly and every sensation was magnified. Little by little the emptiness and sorrow that had been beating her mercilessly began to lift.

RJ drew back from her lips only long enough to pull his shirt off and throw it somewhere behind him.

His lips trailed kisses down her jaw and neck to her collarbone. His hands gently crept up her shirt and stroked her belly and ribs. Guinevere sighed deeply and arched her back, lifting her chin and exposing her throat.

RJ kissed it, her flesh hot and soft beneath his lips. He moved to the buttons of her shirt, and undid them one by one, kissing the flesh that was revealed.

Guinevere shrugged out of it and it fell onto the floor.

She grabbed his hand and placed it on her breast. He lowered his lips to the nipple and gently sucked, his tongue flicking across it.

Guinevere cried out as a bolt of pleasure shot through her, and her hands went to his waist, seeking to loosen and free him from his pants. She found the button and released the zipper, pushing them over his hips and he paused a moment to kick them off.

RJ kissed her again, deeply, their tongues entwining. He reached down and pawed her waistband, looking for the catch. She helped him and wriggled out of her own trousers and panties.

Their naked flesh pressed together, the heat of desire melting their senses.

RJ spread her thighs with his knees, and she felt his member nudge her entrance.

“Guinny,” he whispered into her ear. “Are you...are you sure you want to do this?”

She lifted her hips, trying to pull him into her. “Yes...I need you so much...make love to me, RJ...please... _ please _ …”

Gently, he slid into her. She was swollen and wet and made little whimpering sounds of pleasure.

Her entire heart and mind was filled with the deep love she felt for him, and her desperate need to pull back from the abyss.

RJ moved slowly inside her, kissing her lips, her face and her neck.

Guinevere matched his movements, enjoying every bit of him. He reached the sensitive places inside her so easily, he knew what he was doing and did it wish such passion and tenderness.

He looked into her eyes. “I love you, Guinny,” he whispered.

“I love you too RJ,” she said, her eyes prickling with emotion. “I’ve loved you for so long…” Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes.

She knew she was completely broken inside, a twisted mess of confusion. She’d never struggled so hard with herself before. She felt like a candle. Flickering and unstable, almost being extinguished in the heart of a raging storm, but then reigniting in a moment of calm. 

RJ pressed deep into her and paused his movement. “You’re so perfect Guinny,” he breathed. “If we don’t stop a minute it’s gonna end way too soon.”

She looked up at him and traced across his face with her fingertips. RJ lowered himself carefully onto her, his chest against her soft breasts, resting on his elbows, and kissed her softly.

“Sweet girl,” he whispered. “I’ll always belong to you. I’ll die loving you.”

She smiled through her tears. “I’ve always been yours too,” she said. 

He rocked against her and she closed her eyes, lifting her hips and moving with him. Deep inside her she felt her muscles slowly tensing up, a coil winding tighter and tighter. Each stroke brought a rush of pleasure deep inside and it was almost euphoric. Guinevere knew she would release soon.

RJ’s movements quickened as he felt his own release creep up on him. She was squeezing him so tight inside, he didn’t think he could stop the wave of pleasure that was cresting.

“Guinny...I’m going to...can I..?”

She moaned softly and nodded. “You can do whatever you want, just love me RJ.”

He let go with a low groan, feeling his seed release from his body and fill her. Seconds later Guinevere cried out and arched her back as her own release crashed over her. 

The contractions of her inner muscles squeezed him, pulling every last drop of fluid from his body. She mumbled something unintelligible, breathing heavily and holding tightly to him.

RJ stayed deep inside her, but slid to the side and drew her leg over his hip. “I don’t want to leave you,” he whispered. “I want to stay joined like this forever.”

He stayed hard, his desire barely sated by his release. It was a new experience for him. He’d usually wanted to eat a smorgasbord and sleep afterwards.

“That was so wonderful RJ,” Guinevere said with a smile. “You’re amazing.” 

“So are you. No surprise there though.”

They found one another’s lips and kissed deeply, and RJ found himself moving slowly inside her again. He craved every bit of her, every touch, every kiss. He wondered if he’d ever be satisfied again, wanting more of her every moment.

She was even more slick inside now, and her release had made her nerves come alive. Every movement brought new sensations and she revelled in it.

Guinevere never had someone make her feel so alive, so connected to everything. Her anxiety was gone, her fear dissipated, and she felt whole and loved and safe. At that moment, everything seemed so simple, so clear. Her broken world seemed fixed and happy once more.

“If I died now, I’d die happy,” she said.

“Me too, beautiful. Me too.”

They made love again slowly and tenderly, often just gazing into one another’s eyes.

They released together which enthralled Guinevere, and again RJ refused to leave her body, holding her tightly as they began to feel exhaustion steal over them.

The deep loneliness and void inside her was quiet. Instead, she felt content, happy and relaxed enough to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Old Cape Cod" by Patti Page.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6mdiFvyqCc


	19. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere is wracked with pain and confusion over her night with RJ; RJ makes his own decision on the situation; Danse returns and takes Guinevere to the Prydwen!

* * *

Daylight eventually came, filtering in through the skylight. Guinevere awoke to gentle caresses on her side. She murmured sleepily and stretched, squeezing the warm body beneath her lovingly.

“Is it morning already?” RJ asked softly. “Let’s just stay here forever Guinny. You and me. We can eat every now and then, but for the most part it’s love making and cuddling.”

Guinevere was silent as the implications of their night together dawned on her. It had been perfect with RJ. But she had been out of her mind with trauma.

Things looked and felt quite different when the light of day shone down.

_ What have I done? _ She asked herself.  _ Oh heavens, what on earth have I done? _

She looked up into RJ’s face, her eyes still heavy with sleep. He smiled at her and kissed her forehead. “My beautiful Guinny,” he said softly.

She stroked the tuft of hair on his chest, then traced infinity symbols with her fingertips. He had a few old silvery scars and she traced them too.

_ What the hell was I thinking, doing this?  _ Her mind berated her but her body refused to move from the warm, loving embrace of a man she’d loved for a long time.

“So do I get to tell him or will you?” asked RJ, giving her a kiss on her head. He raised a hand up, expecting her to lace her fingers with his. 

She didn’t move for a long moment but then slowly she did. His expression was soft, those wonderful eyes of his gazing at her with so much adoration she felt her heart slide out of her chest and try to crawl away in shame.

“No one’s telling anyone anything,” she whispered shakily. “RJ...I’m a very terrible person for doing this.”

“No you’re not. You’re a human being. You need a lot of love and support and you knew where to get it.”

She sighed unhappily and drew his hand close to her face. “But I made a commitment to Eric to work through our difficulties. Making love with you wasn’t the right thing to do.”

“And him taking off on you when you needed him the most was? It’s supposed to go both ways Guinny. You can’t be the one always doing the forgiving and trying. He’s gotta do his part and from what I’ve seen he does jack.”

She sat up and ran a hand through his thick wavy hair. “I...I love you RJ. But this...this can’t ever happen again.”

He stared at her in disbelief.

“What? Guinny quit screwing with me. Well...actually don’t really but...quit messing with my mind. Last night was the greatest night of my life! Every great night I’ve ever had has been because of you.”

“It was wrong of me! I never should have let things get that far.”

He held his arms out to her. “C’mere Guinny. Your mind is spinning out of control.”

She shook her head. “It  _ was _ , last night. I was hurting so bad over Shaun, then Eric running off on me...and you were there and...I just...I’m really sorry RJ.”

He sat up, his face a mask of fear and pain. 

“You told me you loved me! You even said you’d always been mine and you could die happy.  _ Did you lie, Guinny? _ Did you steal some of Hancock’s chems? Were you drunk?”

She looked at him miserably. “No I didn’t take chems or drink, or lie. I’ve never lied to you.”

“Well you’re living a big lie right now and it sucks,” he said.

“I’ve always believed you have to keep your word to someone,” she said. “I made Eric a promise RJ, I’ve never in my  _ life  _ done something like this. I feel sick. I...I don’t know what came over me. I was out of my mind.”

RJ looked devastated. “So basically you’re telling me that last night meant nothing to you? You’re still hung up on tinman huh?”

“I never wanted to be  _ that _ woman who got into bed with someone at the first sign of difficulty. I looked down on people who did this! I’ve become everything I loathed! This was terrible of me!”

RJ got out of bed and she looked at him, the sight of his nakedness sparked a feeling of desire inside her. He ran his hands through his hair and stood there that way, frozen. 

Guinevere’s willpower was weak and she suddenly cried out to him, holding her arms out.

“RJ! No! Don't go! Please!”

His eyes were sorrowful and he stared at her a moment, her pale and perfect skin begging to be touched.  He wanted to run away, to get far from the situation that was only going to lead him to more anguish.

But he loved her so deeply there was no way he could ever extricate himself from her no matter how far he thought he could go.

In one swift stride he had her in his arms, holding her as tightly as he dared, his body on fire with an aching need to join with her again.

Guinevere attacked his lips with her own, her hands in his hair, her body pressed to his, pulling him down with her.

He couldn’t think straight, it felt as though he were on an alcoholic binge. RJ pulled her leg over his hip, his fingers raking her lower lips, feeling the wetness there.

Guinevere made sounds, unintelligible words that might have been sentences if his muddled brain could have deciphered them. He heard the blood rush in his veins.

His fingers found her opening and slid into her, scratching against that rough patch, making her writhe against him. He readied her, and as she was about to release, he withdrew his fingers and pushed his hardness inside and felt the grabbing, pulsing sensation as she let go.

RJ was lost to sensation, as gentle as their first time together had been, now he couldn’t control the overwhelming passion that was taking over. He thrust into her hard over and over. 

Her cries reached his ears but he didn’t know if it was pleasure or pain. He couldn’t stop. 

With a cry of his own he released into her again, and felt the spasms of her body as she followed him for the second time.

Breathing heavily, he lay over her, too exhausted to move. His senses slowly cleared, the haze that had dominated them lifting.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked her.

“No...I don’t think so...RJ don’t leave me.”

He slid off to the side. “Guinny...do you love me enough to be with me? To end it with tinman?”

She covered her face with her hands and made a wailing moan “You mean the world to me. I love you. That’s not a lie. But I can’t just abandon Eric. He loves me too!”

“I can’t believe this,” he said, getting off the bed. “You make love to me. Three damn times I might add. You tell me you love me. But you won’t end it with  _ him _ and commit to  _ us _ . To you and I. What am I, a fucking toy to you? Just stupid old RJ who’s worse than a beaten dog. A goddamn dog would run away. Not MacCready though. Beat him to a pulp and he’ll ask for more! Well fuck that. I’m out.”

Guinevere was sobbing. “You’re not a toy to me at all!”

He faced her. “ Then what the fuck is all this? I’m just not good enough for you is what it is. Don’t have an army and a blimp at my disposal.”

“You know that’s not it!”

“Isn’t it? Because that’s all I can see from where I’m standing!” 

He knew he was shouting and wanted to calm down but he couldn’t. His emotions were raw and he felt out of control. 

“I’ve been with you for years! But one day you find this guy with his fancy armor and weapons and off you go. He doesn’t even treat you right! Acts like the rest of us are dirt. And you follow him around like a lost puppy. So all I can see is that you’re blinded by the bling. I thought you were different Guinny. Guess I was wrong!”

Guinevere shook her head and reached for his hand. He backed away. 

“I can’t do this. Being so close to you every day. Loving you until my goddamn heart aches. Then I gotta watch you throw yourself at someone who couldn’t give two shits about you.”

“That’s not true! Eric loves me. He needs time to get to know all of you!”

RJ let out a harsh barking laugh as he washed himself and got dressed. “Yeah he’s working  _ real _ hard on that one. I need to get away from here. Get my head sorted out. Deacon might not want anything to do with you and your Brotherhood but he doesn’t have a problem with me. I’ll help him out for awhile. Maybe check out your Fairfax. Sounded like a good place with  _ good _ people.”

Guinevere collapsed back on the bed and hugged his pillow. “Don’t leave me RJ. I don’t know what to do without you. I’m a mess, I can’t think straight!”

“Well,” he said. “You got that flying thing and your army. Your storybook knight in shining armor. That’s one heck of a lot better than a scrubby hired gun right?”

He opened the door and she heard him go to his room. Guinevere slowly got up and pulled on her clothing. She stood in his doorway and watched him throw his things into a duffle bag.

“RJ, this is your home. Please don’t go!”

He said nothing and refused to look at her. He knew that if he saw her sweet face, his resolve would crumble and he’d be back to standing in Danse’s shadow again. Waiting for crumbs from the master’s table like a dog. He wanted to keep his self respect, what was left of it, intact.

“I told you how to find me if you need me.”

He took a few cartons of cigarettes and left the rest for Hancock. He grabbed the bourbon and a few cans of food.

“RJ,” Guinevere said sorrowfully, turning him towards her.

He took her face in his hands. “Guinevere. I loved you then, I love you still, I always have and I always will.” He kissed her gently. “But this...this whatever it is with you...I can’t do it.” With a deep,sorrowful sigh he then picked up his bag and walked out.

Hancock had been standing in the doorway of the garage. He could guess what had happened between them. It had been inevitable. He saw it coming a mile away. There was so much love between MacCready and Guinevere from the beginning.

Hancock remembered MacCready coming to him the day he’d met her, asking who she was and how the mayor knew her. That was the same day MacCready had met Deacon.

About a week later, Guinevere hired him, without even trying to haggle the price. She just paid him what he asked for which was a shocker for the mercenary.

Hancock had seen it in his eyes that day that the poor man was hopelessly smitten, love at first sight. The two of them had been inseparable since then.

What Hancock couldn’t figure out was why she continued to bother with Danse. The man wasn’t right for her in any way. But it was her life, and he couldn’t interfere.

The mayor sighed deeply. He knew that Guinevere and the Brotherhood would come to odds eventually. She was too good a person to tolerate what they were, and that lesson was coming up soon. He dreaded it. He dreaded anything that threatened to destroy that spark within her.

Hancock opened his mouth to speak to her, but she disappeared into her room before he could say a word.

* * *

Hancock began to worry when the second day came around and she had only emerged to bathe, late at night. 

He heard her crying at night, and when she thought she was alone in the bath shed. The entire situation weighed heavily on his heart.

He tried to entice her out with food but she refused. He tried to tell her Dogmeat needed attention and that failed too. At a loss, Hancock was actually happy to see Paladin Danse show up.

“Sunshine’s not been well,” he said by way of greeting.

“What did you do to her?” asked Danse coldly, getting out of his power armor.

“Look asshole,” said Hancock. “If you’d given her the comfort she needed the other night she might be in a better place right now. Quit bellyaching at  _ me _ and go see her. Try and be the man she thinks you are.”

The ghoul walked off and climbed back up onto his spot on the roof.  _ My fist is itching to punch that self righteous prig right in his smug face,  _ he thought, drowning his aggression in a dispenser of chems.

Guinevere looked up as Danse opened the door. She hadn’t been able to sleep.

He was startled by her appearance. She looked terrible. Dark circles under her swollen red eyes, and her hair was dishevelled.

He took her into his arms immediately. “Guinevere! What happened to you?”

She lay limply in his arms. “RJ left,” she said simply.

Danse scowled. “Bigger, better deal? Typical. I expected as much. His kind can’t help themselves.” 

“No. We had a fight about  _ you _ .”

He stroked her hair. “Oh Guinevere. He couldn’t accept us. You’re too good for him. I’m sorry that it took so long for you to realize it. But I’m here now and I don’t plan on leaving you alone again.”

Guinevere wanted to take comfort from him, but he wasn’t offering it. He thought pointing out RJ’s faults was the way to do so, but he was wrong. Her heart was breaking.

Danse pushed down his loathing. It never failed to amaze him how selfish people could be. Guinevere had cared for and relied on MacCready and as usual with mercenaries he must have gotten a better offer. But things were changing for the better.

“I’ve been aboard the Prydwen!” he said excitedly. “It was so good to see her again. I spoke with Elder Maxson. He’s eager to meet you. He accepted my recommendations and you’ll be promoted to Knight if you accept. I’ve got a vertibird on call to take you up there as soon as you’re ready!”

Her mind was numb. She didn’t care about the Prydwen, or the Brotherhood or Elder Maxson. She wanted to spend some time alone with Danse, to talk about her son.

“Eric, can we just stay here today and be together? I need to talk to you about things.”

Danse’s handsome face looked down at her, his expression soft. “Everything will be ok Guinevere. The Brotherhood has arrived and we can now begin to move forward on cleaning up the Commonwealth! This is what you’ve been waiting for, isn’t it?

Why don’t you get ready, and we can go? You’ll be quite impressed!”

Guinevere saw that he couldn’t be swayed from his plan of action. Her mind was still cloudy and she didn’t have the energy to argue with him, so she got up and wrapped her robe around her and went off to the bath shed.  

Danse went out and sat beneath a tree. He looked up and saw Hancock staring at him but he ignored the ghoul completely. 

The mercenary finally showed his true colors and moved on. The ghoul would hopefully be next. But it didn’t matter as much. Guinevere would be settling into the Prydwen very soon. The great airship had never failed to impress anyone yet.

Danse was aware of her resistance to live aboard the ship, and he had told her they could live elsewhere, but he’d been infused with renewed enthusiasm for their mission, and he wanted her to take her place in the Brotherhood with him.

If he failed, he knew the Elder would certainly be able to convince her.

Guinevere looked so pretty when she had bathed and dressed. She put on the Brotherhood jumpsuit under her jacket.

Danse placed a tender kiss on her lips. “You look lovely. This is a monumental day for me. I’ve been wanting to show you the strength of the Brotherhood since we met. You’ve gotten to see five of us. Now you’ll see hundreds.”

Guinevere tried to look interested but she wasn’t. She was thinking of RJ, and if she’d made the right decision in letting him go. The emptiness inside her had returned, bringing with it the anxiety and ball of fear that rolled around in the pit of her stomach since she laid eyes on the Prydwen.

“Hancock!” she called up to him. “A vertibird is coming!”

He nodded and climbed down from his perch disappearing into the diner, and she walked out of the fenced in area. 

There was a patch of open ground across the road and Danse climbed back into his power armor and threw down a smoke grenade. A column of red smoke furrowed upwards. 

A few minutes later they heard the heavy sound of a vertibird engine. Guinevere looked up as Danse pointed. She’d never been aboard one in flight, just on the ground. The vertibird hovered above them then slowly descended. 

Guinevere turned away as the rotors blew up a cloud of dust and dead grass. Danse handed her a set of goggles. She put them on and he lifted her into the ship.

“Greetings, Paladin sir,” said the pilot.

Danse gave him the Brotherhood greeting.

“Guinevere,” said Danse, and placed a harness over her head, clipping it onto a ring at the top of the opening of the ship. He pointed to a heavy machine gun. “Sit there and you can fire at any abominations you see. But be careful. Stick with super mutants for now which are large.”

He showed her how the controls of the gun worked. Guinevere wasn’t in the mood to kill anything.

Danse attached his own harness and sat beside her. He thumped his hand twice on the back of the pilot’s seat and the vertibird engines revved up. Slowly, it rose. 

Dogmeat ran back and forth along the fence barking.

The view of the Commonwealth from the air astonished her. She had flown in a plane before, but sitting in the opening of a vertibird was a whole new experience to her.

Danse was happy to see her liven up. The dullness in her eyes had concerned him and he hoped meeting the Elder and spending time with her brothers and sisters would give her new motivation.

She pointed out things she recognized, and they flew over a building with a few super mutants on the roof. 

“Hit them!” Danse cried.

She did, but with little enthusiasm. She aimed and fired the high powered gun and watched the monsters fall one by one.

“Outstanding!” shouted Danse.

They began their turn towards the airport. The massive Prydwen came into view. It was even larger than Guinevere remembered.

She heard the pilot speaking to the ship and they hovered closer. A metal arm extended out of the side of the ship and caught the vertibird. The pilot cut the engines and the arm pulled the ship closer to the Prydwen until the opening was level with the metal catwalk.

Danse unhooked their harnesses and got down. He turned and opened his arms to Guinevere and lifted her to the grating.

“Welcome to the Prydwen, Guinevere,” he said with a smile. “Remember we discussed our protocol regarding our personal situation.”

She nodded and followed him.

Soldiers in power armor greeted Danse warmly, and then her as well once they were introduced. Scribes walked about seeing to their duties. Other people were engaged in various tasks. 

Danse showed her things of interest but she couldn’t process it. As beautiful as the Prydwen was, it was cold and metallic. Everything seemed loud and tinny sounding. She felt nervous and jumpy.

They entered the command deck and Danse led her to a bulkhead door. 

“These are my private quarters,” he said. 

She stepped inside and looked around. It was spartan and utilitarian. She saw his footlocker and went to it immediately. 

He stood in the doorway, watching her as she explored. She found the book he had talked about when they had met. Digging deeper she found technical magazines and a few holotapes, then at the bottom she spied something she recognized.

“My ribbon!” she cried, holding up the tattered green strand.

Danse looked suddenly embarrassed. “Yes. You left it in the station and I picked it up. I’d forgotten about it.”

She stood and pulled up one of the rings on his jumpsuit. She tied the ribbon onto it with a small smile. “You now have the lady’s favor!” she quipped.

She tilted her face up to him for a kiss but he shook his head, then removed the ribbon and gave it back to her.

The damnable protocols. Guinevere took the ribbon and put it and the book back in the chest, her enthusiasm dampened. She wasn’t even permitted to show any affection towards the man she loved, and everything inside her screamed for exactly that.

Danse stood aside and let her back into the hall. “Elder Maxson wanted to meet you as soon as you arrived,” he said.

She looked worried. “Already?” The ball of fear inside her spun.

“I believe my reports about you have intrigued him. He was quite adamant that you were to report in.”

“How do I do that, report in? Do I knock on the door first or just enter?” Her stomach began to tie up in knots.

“Oh the Elder spends his time on the forward observation deck,” said Danse. “You will stand at the entrance and identify yourself by rank and surname then say you’re reporting as ordered. You can stand at ease. Do you know what that is?”

Guinevere nodded and showed him.

“Very nice. You’ll do fine.”

She turned back into his room and looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair had gotten a bit windblown and she raked her fingers through it to smooth it out. The rest of her seemed fine.

She looked at Danse, whose face lit up as he gazed at her. “I’m very proud of you,” he said.

_ Too bad you can’t show it _ , she thought unhappily.

“Follow me, I’ll show you the way,” he said and she followed, her anxiety growing by the moment.

He stopped and pointed. The corridor opened out onto the forward observation deck. She could see the Elder at the railing. Guinevere wanted to turn around and go home, crawl back into her bed and stay there.


	20. Meeting Maxson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere is disconcerted by Maxson's familiarity with her, but Danse doesn't understand it.

* * *

“How do I address him?” asked Guinevere nervously.

“As you would any commander-in-chief. In the old world I would assume the Elder would be akin to your President. You’ll do fine, Guinevere. Don’t worry.”

_ Her President? _ She highly doubted the Elder of the Brotherhood was as high profile as the President of an entire country had once been. But to the Brotherhood perhaps he was.

She didn’t feel confident about meeting him. She didn’t feel balanced inside with everything that had happened and no chance to work through it. But Paladin Danse smiled comfortingly at her.

“If I could right now,” he said very softly so only she could hear. “I’d kiss you. We’ll have time for that later on. Now, go make me proud before the Elder.”

Guinevere turned and walked down the short hallway to the observation deck where she could see Elder Maxson leaning on the railing overlooking the Commonwealth.

“Initiate Stanton reporting as ordered...Elder Maxson, sir.”

He straightened up but didn’t turn around.

“I have read your dossier and the reports submitted by Paladin Danse. He speaks very highly of you, which carries considerable weight as he is one of my most trusted soldiers.” 

He paused and Guinevere wasn’t sure if she should say anything, so she remained silent.

“He has requested that I grant you the rank of Knight, and furthermore asks that he be granted sponsorship over you. Are you aware of what that means, soldier?”

Guinevere cleared her throat. “Yes sir. It means that our fates are shared. If I mess up it counts against him.”

She thought she heard him chuckle softly. 

“An interesting choice of words,” he said. 

His voice was slightly higher and softer than she would have imagined him to have. “It also means that if you are promoted for exemplary conduct, Paladin Danse would be promoted as well, where possible of course. Are you clear on this, and do you accept sponsorship by Paladin Danse, Initiate?”

“Yes, Elder sir,” she said.

“Then I hereby grant you the rank of Knight, with all of it’s attending duties and responsibilities. Ad victorium, Knight Stanton.”

“A...Ad victorium Elder,” she responded shakily.

Maxson stood unmoving and silent for what seemed like forever, but Guinevere knew she wasn’t allowed to move until dismissed. She waited quietly.

Maxson sighed. “You should know that Paladin Danse has never requested to sponsor a soldier before. You clearly have impressed him on a deeper level. Tell me, Knight, what is your relationship with the Paladin at this time?”

_ Well _ , thought Guinevere.  _ He’s my friend, my lover, and he wants me to be the mother of his child.  _  Out loud she said as evenly as she could. “Paladin Danse is my commanding officer and my mentor, Elder sir.”

He accepted her answer and nodded. She wondered if he was ever going to turn around and face her. She caught her breath when it seemed he had read her mind.

“You wonder why I won’t face you. I feel that we’re mired by what our eyes tell us. I wish to get a sense of you before I allow my eyes to pass judgment. You see, there are many ways to read a person.”

She said nothing and waited for him to continue.

“I read that you were a pre-war resident of Vault 111 near Sanctuary Hills. Is that true, or simply a story concocted to win sympathy and attention?”

She felt a pang of annoyance. She’d never made up stories for attention. Her father had instilled in her the need to always speak truthfully. She swallowed away her guilt at lying to the Elder about her relationship with Danse.

“Yes, it’s true,” she said somewhat softly. “I was cryogenically frozen as part of Vault-Tec’s mandate for 111.”

He shook his head. “What a tragedy. I’m sorry, Knight. I imagine adjusting to the world at large was difficult but you have made the correct decision to join us. I also read that you have a personal vendetta against the Institute. Care to tell me what that’s about?”

She didn’t want to. It was painful and difficult to discuss. But she felt she had no choice. If she wanted the help of the Brotherhood to find Shaun, she had to be willing to trust them with the story.

“They took my son. They shot my husband in the Vault and kidnapped Shaun. I have to find them and get him back. He was a baby but now...he’s around 10 years old.” Her voice shook and she stopped speaking. She feared he would chide her for her weakness.

Elder Maxson looked up and she saw him put his hands over his face and take a deep breath. “Alright Knight. Alright. No need to speak of it further. It took courage to open up to someone you don’t know, on so sensitive and personal a subject. I appreciate your honesty. It speaks volumes about the kind of person you are.”

He turned around to her then and her breath caught in her throat. He was handsome and carried himself with a regal bearing. Elder Maxson was surprisingly young, but everything about his bearing suggested strength and power. He sported a neatly trimmed beard, and hair that was shorter on the sides and longer at the top. A deep and jagged scar marred his right cheek. His eyes were deep set and shadowed by his brow, and like Danse he had a strong, straight nose. He had full lips which softened his overall image and Guinevere found him compelling, which surprised her.

For his part, the Elder raised his eyebrows when his eyes fell upon her. She saw him scan her face and take measure of her entire self. Then...he began laughing.

Guinevere felt suddenly self conscious. She had checked herself in Danse’s mirror before the meeting to ensure she was presentable. Why on earth was the Elder laughing at her? She  _ was _ appropriately dressed.

Maxson shook his head and stepped towards her. He was tall, but not as tall as Danse. His eyes were a striking blue, darker than RJ’s, and with an intensity of expression that reminded her of Haylen’s description of him. That piercing gaze did indeed feel like he was reading her mind.

He looked down at her, standing closer than she was comfortable with.

“Forgive me,” he said softly, looking into her eyes. Then his gaze snapped up beyond her and he raised his hand. She heard footfalls leave the area.  _ Just a gesture from him makes the soldiers fall in line,  _ she thought. _ They revere this man. Even fear him I think. _

“I didn’t mean to upset you with my reaction,” Maxson said. “You see, for a moment I thought that perhaps Danse was having a game with me.”

“Sir?” she questioned.

“Paladin Danse has a book. A very beloved book from the old world he dug up somewhere. He is quite apt to fall into flights of fancy from time to time, and lent it to me to read. It’s the story of a powerful King named Arthur and his Queen named Guinevere with  _ hair of sun spun gold and eyes of emerald to rival the hills of Eire,”  _ he quoted. “ _ My _ given name is Arthur.”

Guinevere couldn’t help but smile. “He still has that book, Elder Maxson, sir.”

“You understand my reaction than.”

His eyes roamed her face, marvelling at how perfect her skin appeared. Wastelanders were generally a mess, scars and rough living under a harsh sun didn’t create the best grounds for healthy bodies. Guinevere’s pale soft skin supported her claim of being a vault dweller. He found himself deeply desiring to touch her cheek and run his hands through her hair, if only to see if it felt as soft as it looked.

She nodded. “Yes sir I do. I was named after that queen, by my mother who wanted me to have a romantic and fanciful life.”

Maxson’s eyes softened. He took her hand, placing it on top of his as they had described in the book, and walked her to the front of the observation deck.

“I care about them you know, the people of the Commonwealth,” he said softly, resting his hands on the railing. She wanted to put her hand down as well, but was afraid of offending him.

She hadn’t expected the Elder to be so familiar with someone he’d scarcely met.

“This is why we must continue our mission, and help save them from themselves. To ensure what happened 200 years ago never happens again.”

“I understand sir,” she said.

“Look around you, Knight. From up here, my  _ castle in the clouds _ , if you will, I can see everything. And it hurts me to see abominations like the super mutants, ghouls and raiders taking advantage of the people of this world. They must be eradicated without prejudice.” There was a hardness to his tone then.

“You mean feral ghouls, right Elder Maxson?”

“All abominations, Knight. Humans who no longer have their humanity, or like synths who never did...they are the reason this world has been unable to rebuild. I’ve come here with the Prydwen to go to war on them all.”

Guinevere didn’t like what he was saying. She was hearing from the leader of the Brotherhood himself, those things her friends had warned her about. But  _ he _ wasn’t Danse.

“But the non feral ghouls are just people who’ve been altered by radiation. They aren’t monsters!”

He lay his other hand over hers. “You’ve been indoctrinated by living in the dreadful wastes. I assure you now that you’ll be living aboard the Prydwen, your time with your brothers and sisters will fix your twisted perspective.”

Guinevere shook her head and looked up at him. “I don’t want to live here,” she said shakily. “I told Paladin Danse before I signed up that I couldn’t leave my family!”

He picked up her hand and held it, his thumb caressing it almost mindlessly. His eyes caught and held hers and she found she couldn’t look away.

_ Why is he being like this towards me? _ She thought.

“Knight, you have agreed to uphold all the responsibilities of your rank. This includes being an example to your brothers and sisters, especially those below you: the initiates and squires. Although we don’t have any squires aboard the Prydwen, they will be added as we establish a base here in the Commonwealth.”

She continued to look upset and for some strange reason Maxson felt an overwhelming sense of protectiveness towards her. He squeezed her hand. 

“Very well. You will only reside on the Prydwen for two weeks out of every month. You may check in with your family provided your assignments are completed. In addition, you may request an Initiate to stand guard over them during the nighttime hours in the weeks you are onboard.” 

His eyes still held hers. “These are concessions I have never given to another.”

“Thank you, Elder Maxson!” she tried to smile but at best the corners of her mouth turned up just a little.

He tilted his head. “Your heart is heavy with the burdens you carry. It shows in your eyes and I’m sorry for it. This world is unyielding and lacking in compassion. You will find those things here within the Brotherhood. We are a family and care deeply for one another.” 

Guinevere felt herself precariously close to tears. It was an odd feeling. This stranger who knew so little about her was showing her empathy. Even Danse hadn’t brought much in the way of compassion towards her situation. She still hadn’t talked with him about Shaun.

Elder Maxson continued to hold her hand in both of his. She felt suddenly drowsy, her energy levels sapped.

“I believe,” said Maxson. “In similar fashion to Danse’s fanciful way, that we were fated to meet. This lonely King has perhaps met his Queen.”

Guinevere shifted in discomfort, that pervasive ball of fear growing. The way he stared at her, the way he spoke...it was disconcerting. They had just met, and already he was treating her with familiarity. And talking like the characters in that book.

She had expected him to be like all other commanders: curt and brief with no emotion. Elder Maxson seemed to wear his emotions openly.

“You will report directly to me on your return to the Prydwen each evening. Paladin Danse will be responsible for writing up the reports on your activities.”

She nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“For the rest of the day, familiarize yourself with the Prydwen and her crew. Get to know the bridge crew and tactical. You will need to submit to a medical exam as well. Paladin Danse will have prepared a bunk for you and you can see Proctor Ingram for your power armor. It will be made to your specifications. Take good care of it and it will take care of you.”

He looked down at her weapon as it hung on her hip. “Righteous Authority. That’s Danse’s favorite weapon. A great gift for which you must be immensely grateful, Knight. My own weapon is named Righteous Justice. I should like you to see it’s capabilities in action. I rarely participate in combat but perhaps an exception can be made.”

He took a deep breath and released her hand. “Return home and speak with your family once you are done here and report back by 2100 hours. Your two weeks aboard the Prydwen begins now. Dismissed, Knight.”

He gave her the Brotherhood salute and she returned it.

“Send Danse to me,” he ordered as she walked away.

She stopped. “Yes sir.”

* * *

Her heart was racing as she walked up to Danse in the mess hall. Heads turned to her, everyone wanted to see the vault dweller.

Guinevere felt like a freak at a circus sideshow. There was no disguising the curiosity in the eyes around her. She wanted to fall into Danse’s arms and just have him hold her but she knew that was not going to happen on the airship.

“Excuse me, Paladin Danse?” she asked. “Permission for this Knight to speak to her commanding officer in private.”

His expression softened, and he beamed with pride, standing. “Congratulations, Knight Stanton. Please follow me to the ready room. We can speak there.”

She woodenly walked behind him until they were alone behind the big bulkhead door. Danse grabbed her and crushed her lips with his. She kissed him deeply until they were both breathless. “He wants to see you,” she said. “But I just want you to hold me. I need to be with you, Eric.”

Danse’s eyes scanned her face. He saw her bewilderment and wanted to question her on how her meeting had gone, but the Elder had summoned him. 

“I must obey the summons,” he said.

He turned to go, but spun back to kiss her once more.

* * *

“I thought you were having a game with me Eric,” said Maxson. “Sending me  _ Guinevere _ that way. How ever did you find her? Such a delicate little thing, I admit I have trouble reconciling your report to what I saw.”

Danse stood at ease. “She just walked into the compound and helped us kill ferals. She has a military background, her father and husband served in the US military before the war.”

Maxson nodded. “She is respectful enough.I’ve allowed her two weeks a month with her family. Have you met them? Will they be cared for while Knight Stanton is away? How old are the children?”

Danse stopped breathing for a moment. For the first time in his life he had to lie to his commanding officer. But if he told the Elder the truth about Guinevere’s situation the results could be disastrous for her. He had promised her he would never hurt her friends.

“They are not blood relations,” he said. “There are no children. Knight Stanton has a big heart and these are people she has helped and consequently bonded with. There is also a Mr. Handy bot that was hers before the war, and a dog. A shepherd that has proved itself quite useful in combat.”

Maxson nodded and poured them a drink. 

“She’s a beautiful woman,” he said carefully, watching Danse’s reaction. “Was that part of why you wished to sponsor her?”

Danse’s expression didn’t waver. “The esthetics of a soldier is not of consequence. Knight Stanton’s history as a pre war civilian makes her an ideal candidate to learn and uphold our codes. She is untainted by the prejudice found in other wastelanders we’ve encountered.”

Maxson was satisfied with the answer. “She was quite responsive to my words about that book of yours. She allowed me certain liberties which surprised me. Knight Stanton is not as guarded as the others.”

“What liberties are you speaking of Arthur?” asked Danse.

“I took her hand, held it. She made no protest.”

Danse hid his irritation. “She has no reason to mistrust you. She’s a good soldier. I haven’t known you to be so familiar with the others. Might I ask why her?”

Maxson wandered the room. “Only  _ you  _ would ask me that. Aside from her obvious physical attributes, there’s something about her. I feel an attraction that I can’t explain and feel a compulsion to learn more. She’ll report to me directly each day. You’ll handle the written reports. You may have brought me a great gift Eric,” he said. “I’ve been alone too long. Unlike you, I have needs that extend beyond my control of the Brotherhood.”

Danse did his best to remain impassive but inside he was irritated. “Perhaps I have those same needs Arthur, but the Brotherhood has always come first. I see no reason to change that now. Especially not with our work cut out for us here.”

“You are nothing if not consistent,” said Maxson. “This is why you are my most trusted friend. I can always count on your stalwart loyalty. Dismissed, Paladin.”

Danse walked to the door. “I have the use of the ready room to go over the sponsorship regulations with Knight Stanton.”

Maxson raised his hand and Danse left.

* * *

“I don’t like him Eric, he scares me!” said Guinevere holding tightly to him.

“Arthur ...Elder Maxson can be intense and intimidating. He would never hurt you. The truth is, he likes you Guinevere.”

She shuddered. “That’s the bad part. He doesn’t know about you and I, and he was touching me, holding my hand. All because of that book of yours!”

Danse held her and stroked her hair. “No matter what he may think, you will always be mine.”

“We really need to let people know we’re in a relationship. I don’t like lying.”

Danse sighed. “I know my love. This is only temporary. We’ll be able to share our situation before too long.”

“If Maxson doesn’t drag me to his bed before that.”

Danse’s expression darkened. “He won’t do that. And you can refuse his advances, Guinevere. Tell him relationships are distracting to your function as a Brotherhood Knight. He won’t force himself on you. Arthur is an honorable man. But the idea of anyone touching you besides me is hard to consider. I was greatly disturbed by MacCready’s familiarity with you.”

_ RJ _ , she thought and her heart became a lead weight again. The image of his loving blue eyes filled her mind and she desperately wanted to see him again. To know he was there and she wasn’t alone. 

Was he still angry with her? Would she ever see him again?

Guinevere wanted to return home. Then she remembered she wouldn’t be able to do that for two weeks aside from short visits. 

But if RJ weren’t there, and Hancock wandered off to Goodneighbor, there wasn’t much need for it. Dogmeat would go to Sanctuary and be cared for there. Codsworth was a bot and could amuse himself. Between him and the turrets her home was largely safe. But she wanted to be there. Where she felt whole and unafraid.

Guinevere held tightly to Danse. “I have to live here for two weeks. Yuck.”

“It isn’t terrible, Guinevere. However we’ll be on the ground most of the day carrying out orders. I have the choice to take a team or not and to be alone with you is what I desire the most.”

“Maxson said I can go home to check in as long as our assignments are done. I just right now want to go there and sleep.”

He kissed her tenderly. “I think you’ll feel less intimidated once you meet everyone and get your bearings. Let’s get the tour of the Prydwen and the medical out of the way then return to the ground and retrieve what items you wish from home. I’ll show you your bunk as well.”

She sighed. “I hate that I won’t be waking up or falling asleep in your arms Eric. I need that right now. I need  _ you _ .”

He kissed the top of her head. “It’s only a few weeks at a stretch and we’ll have lots of time together in between.”

“Do you need me too?” she asked.

“Of course I do! Where is this insecurity coming from Guinevere? You know I love you.”

_ Yes _ , she thought.  _ But do you need me? There’s a difference. _

Danse led her to the door, and after one more kiss he opened it and they stepped out.

* * *

Guinevere met the officers, completed her medical and saw the bridge where the Prydwen’s command center was. It took a handful of people working around the clock to keep her operational.

She saw Initiate Price, who’d indeed been assigned to the Lancer squadron. He was filled with excitement. He seemed happy to be there, unlike herself.

Knight Rhys was stomping around the barracks, trying to make his presence felt, and it amused her that no one seemed to pay him any mind.

Danse led her to her bunk. He’d placed her beside a bulkhead wall. There was a soldier assigned to the bunk beside her.

“Who’s bed is this one?” she asked gloomily.

“Guin!” cried a familiar voice.

She turned to see Amanda Haylen run up a flight of stairs to greet her. “You’re going to be beside  _ me!” _

Guinevere smiled. Having Amanda with her would make it bearable.

“How’s RJ? I bet he’s sulking about you leaving!”

Guinevere swallowed. “RJ and I have parted ways. He...he left the Red Rocket a few days ago.”

Amanda looked dismayed. “I’m sorry. I know you two were really close. But the Prydwen is amazing isn’t it? You’ll love it here.”

“I only have to be here two weeks out of the month,” said Guinevere.

Amanda raised her eyebrows. “How did you manage to negotiate that?”

Guinevere made a face. “Well the fact that my name is Guinevere and the Elder’s is Arthur. He just...let me have that split time.”

“Wow,” said Amanda. “He must really like you. I can understand it of course but I’ve never heard of such a timeshare before. Usually people  _ want  _ to be aboard. It’s safe here. So what did you actually think of the Elder?”

Guinevere gave a small shrug. “He’s handsome. And young...oh and his eyes are intense. You were right about that.”

Amanda grinned. “Told you! But yeah he’s definitely nice to look at. I heard it through the grapevine that you and Eric are an item now?” She looked over at Danse as he stood by the stairs, letting them have their visit.

Guinevere nodded. “But he won’t let anyone here know about it. We have to keep it secret for now.”

Amanda rolled her eyes. “Him and his self imposed protocols. I keep reminding him there’s nothing in the Codex about relationships as long as the missions are carried out. But Danse is Danse. He’s such a dedicated soldier.”

Guinevere wanted to tell her about Shaun, but Danse came to her side. “There is still more we need to attend to,” he said. “You and Scribe Haylen will have all evening to chat.”

Guinevere sighed and stood up. Amanda waved goodbye.

Proctor Ingram looked Guinevere over. “Well it might be the smallest suit I ever made but it’ll be a good one,” she said.

The woman wore the frame of a power suit, but it didn’t have any of the plating. At first Guinevere was puzzled by that until she noticed that Ingram didn’t have any legs below her thighs. Her knees and lower legs were missing.

“What happened to your legs?” asked Guinevere.

“That’s a pretty personal question don’t you think?” Ingram frowned down at her.

Guinevere shrank back. “I’m sorry Proctor,” she said. “I was just curious.”

“You know what they say about curiosity,” the woman said and turned to her workbench. She brought out a strange looking device. A red laser light shone from the front of it.

“Close your eyes,” instructed Ingram. “Don’t open them until I say. Now spread your legs to shoulder width and hold your arms out to your sides. Keep that position.”

Guinevere complied. She saw the red light through her eyelids as it moved over her head. She heard Ingram walk around her.

“Alright you can relax and open your eyes. That device captured your image and specs. I’ll be building your suit on the computer and the power station will be doing the construction. It will take me a week to ten days. So don’t die before that.”

“I won’t Proctor,” said Guinevere.

“I’ve got her back,” said Danse. “The Knight is safe with me.”

“I heard you sponsored her, Eric,” said Ingram in a slightly puzzled tone.

“Indeed I did. Knight Stanton comes from a decorated military background and will do well in the Brotherhood.”

Ingram made a  _ hrmph  _ sound and turned to Guinevere. “Don’t disappoint the Paladin. This is a rare occasion.”

Guinevere felt like an errant schoolgirl sent to the principal’s office, something she’d never experienced and realized now she would have hated.

_ I don’t like it here _ , she thought unhappily.  _ The soldiers are so guarded and unfriendly. _

“I won’t,” she replied meekly.

“Shall we meet Proctor Teagan?” asked Danse. “He’s in charge of provisions. Armor, weapons, ammo too. He’s the one you go to for any field gear.”

She met Martin Teagan who was kind to her and let her come behind the screen to look at what he had. He showed her how to fill out a requisition form.

“File a permanent request,” said Danse. “Whatever Knight Stanton wants, she’s to have. Affix my designation it. DN-407P.”

Teagan nodded and started the form.

“Do I have a designation now?” asked Guinevere.

“You are SA-610K. The K will change as you get promoted.”

She repeated it a few times.  _ I’m a number now, _ she thought.

“I need to go and speak with Kells,” said Danse. “You can sit in the mess hall and have something to eat and drink. Then I’ll take you through the body of the Prydwen and show you her inner workings.”

“That won’t be necessary,” said a voice behind them.

Arthur Maxson affixed Guinevere with his steely gaze while his words were directed at Danse. “You have your meeting with Kells, and I will take Knight Stanton through.”

Guinevere felt queasy.  _ Please say something Eric,  _ she silently begged with her eyes.  _ Don’t leave me alone with him. _

But Danse wouldn’t second guess his commander-in-chief. He nodded and gave the salute.

Maxson held up his arm to her. “First I will see that you indeed have something to eat and drink. My ready room has been prepared.”

She was aware of the sudden hush around them as she walked through the mess hall on Maxson’s arm. She looked down at the ground and refused to meet anyone’s eyes. 

_ Why is he doing this?  _ She wondered. 

Guinevere sat down at the table he’d prepared and was relieved when he left the bulkhead door open.

“And how did you enjoy your tour of the Prydwen so far?” he asked. “She is magnificent, isn’t she? A marvel of engineering and technology!”

_ A cold, heartless and noisy one,  _ she thought.

“Yes, Elder sir she is.”

“When we are alone together, I insist that you call me Arthur. Your King commands it,” he added with a wink and a smile.

_ Seriously?  _ Guinevere thought.  _ What’s wrong with this man? _

“As you wish, Arthur.”

She nibbled on the food she had no interest in so as not to appear ungrateful. It was very good food, better than she’d ever had in the Commonwealth, but her stomach was queasy.

“It takes some people time to adjust to living above the ground. Much like the situation with ocean going vessels. You may feel slightly off balance for awhile.”

That explained the feeling perhaps. But the ball of fear that roiled around in her stomach had been there from the moment she’d laid eyes on the Prydwen. And it was making itself known now.

Arthur leaned back in his chair, hands crossed over his abdomen. He wore a leather battlecoat with a sheepskin collar. She wondered where he had found sheepskin. She hadn’t seen a sheep since before the war.

That penetrating gaze unnerved her and she kept her eyes on her plate.

“Eric is also covetous of this battlecoat,” he said with a smile. “Perhaps one day I will have one crafted for you. It provides exceptional protection.”

She shook her head. “No thank you El...Arthur. I’d rather you made one for Paladin Danse as he could get more use out of it.”

Maxson leaned over and touched her hand. She wanted to recoil. “You are selfless I see. Eric told me about your family.”

Fear shot through her and she met his eyes. Eric wouldn’t have told him about John and RJ, would he?

“That you would take in hapless settlers and bond with them shows your great heart.You must be greatly loved.”

“I’m just a friend to everyone,” she said.

“Your brothers and sisters will learn to love you as well. If Paladin Danse weren’t the stalwart soldier he is, I’d be sure he’d fall at your feet.”

Guinevere didn’t like the way he talked to her. “I’m not special.I’m just a woman out of time trying to survive like everyone else. Please don’t make me out to be anything else. It...it makes me feel uncomfortable.”

She felt her insides tremble. Would he be offended?

Maxson laughed. “Humble as well. You intrigue me, Guinevere. Shall we visit the bowels of this great ship?”

Thankfully, she simply followed him. He explained the origins of the ship’s name, which she was well aware of, and showed her the massive bags of hydrogen gas that kept the Prydwen airborne.

“Hydrogen!” she cried. “There was a ship in the old world that blew up because it ran on hydrogen!”

Maxson was impressed. “The Hindenburg. I assure you that nothing of the sort will befall our great lady of the skies.”

_ A bomb sure could,  _ she thought.  _ Or a well placed missile.  _

“Now,” said Maxson. “I will return you to Danse for your trip home. Tomorrow morning you and he will be given your assignment.”

“Yes, sir,” she said.

* * *

Guinevere ran into Hancock’s arms. “John! They’re making me live on that ship for two weeks a month.”

“Do you like it, Sunshine? Is it impressive?”

She looked around for Danse. He was examining the car. “No. I hate it. It’s all cold and metal and noisy. But my bunk is with Amanda Haylen. That makes it ok I guess.”

He saw the unhappiness in her eyes. “You and Danse aren’t sharing quarters as a couple should?”

She shook her head. “He doesn’t want anyone to know right now.”

Hancock sighed. “Secret lovers. That won’t be easy for you, doll.”

“I know but we’ll be together on missions and my two weeks here. Have you heard from RJ?”

The ghoul shook his head. “Sorry doll. You’d know better than me. I haven’t talked to him since before he left.”

“Please John if you see him can you tell him I love him and miss him and want him to come back home.”

Hancock placed his hands on her shoulders. “Sunshine, being here hurts him. He carries a torch for you so bright it blinded him. You and I both know it will never go out, but it’s not fair to keep him like a pet. He needs a chance to be happy too. You feel me?”

Guinevere nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat. She went to her room and sat on the bed, then embraced the pillow he’d used the night they spent together. The memory of his perfect kisses, the love in his eyes, and the tender way he’d made love to her, so gently, broke her heart all over again and she began to cry.

Danse found her that way and went to her, lying down behind and holding her close. 

“Guinevere,” he whispered. “I know the adjustment can be difficult. Haylen went through this same situation when she first joined the Brotherhood. Look how happy she is now, and fulfilled. Give yourself a chance. I’ll be with you.”

“I’m afraid of the Elder,” she sobbed.

“Arthur? Oh Guinevere, he’s simply taken with you. You are unique and special. How can you fault him?”

He didn’t understand. “He treats me like...I don’t know...like a show pony! He made me take his arm and walk through the mess hall. Everyone stared at me. It was horrible!”

Danse kissed her head. “Has it been so long that a man has shown you proper respect? Wastelanders, ghouls and mercenaries are incapable of understanding nor behaving as a gentleman should.”

There was no use in explaining it. Danse didn’t comprehend the depth of her feelings and discounted her fear as ignorance. She knew how a gentleman behaved. Like Danse when they had met. Arthur seemed lecherous and he frightened her.

“Do you want to make love?” Danse asked her, pressing against her gently. “I feel we could both use the closeness.”

She turned over and placed her arms around his neck. His eyes were soft and his kisses tender. She wanted to talk to him, to get him to understand how she was feeling about RJ leaving, and about Shaun and her fear of Maxson.

But if love making would get her some kind of bonding, she’d gladly take it.

He slowly removed her clothing, caressing her, kissing her, speaking gentle words of love.

But Guinevere’s emotions were in turmoil, and she couldn’t enjoy his attention the way she wished to. Danse didn’t seem to notice.

When he positioned himself between her legs, and carefully entered her, Guinevere closed her eyes and tried to enjoy it. It was slightly painful, and he didn’t give her the time she needed to adjust to him. 

He took his time, and did what he knew pleased her, but her heart wasn’t in it.

She released before he did and she wished they had done so at the same time. 

Afterwards, they held one another and she fell asleep until the hour grew late and they had to return to the Prydwen.

Guinevere hugged Hancock tightly, Danse looking away no doubt in disgust but she didn’t care.

“See ya soon Sunshine,” he said.

_ RJ _ , she mouthed silently.  _ Please. _


	21. Life Aboard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her relationship with Danse seems to be fizzling, and Guinevere finds herself on the receiving end of Maxson's unwanted attention.

* * *

Contrary to Danse’s belief, Guinevere didn’t adjust to living on the Prydwen. The sounds of the ship at night frightened her, and she didn’t rest well. She begged him to allow her to sleep in his bed with him, but he refused. Consequently, she couldn’t focus on her duties. 

After being nearly flattened by a super mutant, Danse sent her to see Cade.

Cade, the chief medical officer, recommended that she sleep in the guest quarters. He tried to get her to talk to him, to tell him how she was feeling but she couldn’t. 

Cade had seen many soldiers have adjustment difficulties. It was more usual than unusual. Most of the time they were missing their family or friends, suffering a lack of confidence or having some other mental crisis. Cade sensed it in Guinevere as well. Perhaps the pressure of a sponsorship by so decorated a soldier as Danse was causing the stress.

“You need adequate rest, Knight Stanton,” he said.

She asked him to recommend she sleep in Danse’s quarters when she was tired. Cade had no issue with that if it would help her and he immediately saw she was cheered.

It surprised them both that Danse refused the request. 

“It’s not appropriate,” he said and Cade had assigned her to the guest quarters.

“We’re in a relationship,” she argued with Danse when they were alone. “It’s like you’ve forgotten. Since my first day here you’ve barely kissed me, Eric.”

“The rest of the ship is unaware of our situation,” he responded. “It would appear highly inappropriate if you were to be seen coming and going from my quarters. The guest quarters are very comfortable. You’ll like them.”

“Why don’t you want me near you Eric?” she asked softly. “If Cade doesn’t feel it’s inappropriate, how come  _ you _ won’t agree to it?”

Danse seemed frustrated with her. “Guinevere, we’ve discussed this. As your sponsor I’m already in a different position in regards to you. It wouldn’t be appropriate to show too much familiarity.”

“We make love, Eric. That’s pretty familiar already. I love you, I don’t want to hide it. The fact that you do makes me think you’re ashamed to be with me. And I don’t know why. Don’t you want to make love to me? Don’t you miss it?”

He saw the hurt in her eyes but his sense of decorum wouldn’t waver. “It’s only temporary, as I said before. Things will be fine. You know I love you. Will you go and see if the guest quarters are to your liking?”

“It would be to my liking to rest on  _ your  _ bed when I need to. I  _ need _ the closeness we used to share, Eric. Why can’t you see that? To smell you and see your personal effects and touch them, when I can’t touch  _ you  _ would be a comfort to me.”

Danse stared at a spot over her head, and wouldn’t meet her eyes. “Please make the effort to understand the difficulty our relationship poses in a setting such as this.

She stared at him, blinking. “I miss you so much,” she said softly. “This is hurting me, Eric. You’re...never mind. I’ll go find the guest quarters.”

As luck would have it, Maxson intercepted her in the hallway.

“Cade tells me you’re having difficulties adjusting to life on the Prydwen. Is this true?”

Guinevere nodded sadly, but the fact he knew her issue so quickly irked her.  “Do you know everything about everyone here? Is there no privacy? I didn’t want my issues spread around.”

“In a close knit family like the Brotherhood, we try and prevent secrets. We are stronger when we know and trust one another.”

She felt even more downhearted. That was one tenet Danse seemed unwilling to participate in. “I don’t want to share my private situations with people I don’t know.”

Maxson smiled at her with compassion. He’d seen such reactions many times before. She needed a distraction. 

“I’ll tell you what Guinevere. I’ll take you for a ride on my personal Vertibird. Perhaps seeing your city from the air will cheer you. Remind you what we’re fighting for.”

_ I don’t want to go anywhere with you,  _ she thought.  _ I trust you least of all. _

Guinevere suddenly had a thought. “Who’s in charge of the genesis project?” she asked. “I’d like to help with that, if I could.”

“I don’t understand. Genesis project?”

Guinevere nodded. “Yes, the project for rebuilding the world, with flowers and trees and purifying the water. So it will be like it once was.”

Maxson looked confused. “I’m not entirely sure where you heard that. The Brotherhood has no such project.”

Her expression fell. “Then how will you rebuild the world?”

“By eliminating all abominations for a start. Then ensuring that all technology is not allowed to rest in the hands of those who would bring about another destruction. The Brotherhood is sworn to be the custodians of all technology.”

Guinevere looked hopefully up at him. “But can’t we rebuild the world at the same time? Make it beautiful again?”

He tilted her chin up. “Sweet Queen Guinevere,” he said. “Your fanciful heart is such a gift. Our mission must be carried out in order and the first is to rid ourselves of everything inhuman. Now, settle into your new quarters and come find me on the observation deck when you are ready.”

Hot tears prickled her eyes and she ran into the room and closed the door. Danse had told her the Brotherhood would rebuild the world. Why had he said that when all they wanted to do was take technology and murder non humans. Everything around her was focused on death and destruction. Where was the life?

She was starting to understand what all her friends had warned her about. But she had believed Danse. Now she didn’t know what to think. Since the arrival of the Prydwen he’d changed. Even their missions together weren’t as fun. He didn’t show her the affection he used to. Now it was all honor and duty.

_ I hate this place _ , she thought.  _ I might have made a big mistake getting involved with them. But I love Eric. I can’t leave him. I have to keep believing he'll come around. _

She found Danse in the mess hall. “I have to go with Elder Maxson in his Vertibird,” she said unhappily.

“Righteous Vengeance?” asked Danse. “That’s a great honor, Knight. She is a miniature warship with a heavy ordnance. Where is he taking you?”

“To look at the Commonwealth from the air.”

Danse looked proud. “You’ll enjoy the experience. I’ve been aboard the Elder’s warship only once. He’s an exemplary pilot.”

“I don’t want to go,” she whispered. “Can you please tell him we have a mission?”

“Knight Stanton, you are being given a wonderful opportunity. Let me know how it went when you return. I’ll be in the power bay working on my suit.”

“Eric,” she whispered. “I really don’t want to go somewhere away from here with him! _Please_ tell him I can’t go.”

“Guinevere,” said Danse. “You’ll never be comfortable here if you don’t extend yourself beyond just you and I. There is no one else more trustworthy to spend time with than Arthur. He wishes to get to know you. Perhaps you could learn something from one another. It’ll be good for both of you.”

She wheeled around without another word and left him sitting there staring after her.

* * *

Righteous Vengeance was a larger vertibird than the others. It’s seats were padded and comfortable. Maxson settled her beside him and gave her a radio headset.

“You have command of the forward guns,” he said. “If you see any abominations, kill them!”

_ Of course. More death,  _ she thought.

He radioed the command center and the vertibird was moved out beyond the ship. For a moment she felt the freefall before the engines kicked in. They flew around the Prydwen so she could see it from the outside. Several soldiers gave the Brotherhood salute as they flew by.

Maxson was an aggressive but confident pilot. He flew low over the water, and around the taller city buildings. Then they circled the strange flotilla of Libertalia which had been cleared of raiders.

“Tell me the history of Boston my dear,” he  requested. “You are history come to life and I crave the first hand knowledge you have.”

Guinevere began talking. She told him about the founding of the city, the underground railroad, the library and the great university that once existed.

Maxson was fascinated. He asked a lot of questions, and enjoyed her answers.

“We’re going to fly south slightly,” he said. “And set down in a place I’ve seen on the maps. It’s by the shore.”

_ Oh no,  _ thought Guinevere.  _ I don’t want to be alone with you on the ground! _

“Could we please go back? Paladin Danse said he needed me to do something!”

Maxson smiled. “Already so loyal! Don’t worry about him. I’ve sent him on a mission this afternoon to retrieve some technology.”

Guinevere pressed her hands against her twisting stomach and tried not to concentrate on her fear.

He landed the vertibird effortlessly on a grassy hill, and lifted her to the ground. He held onto her a bit longer than she liked. 

The day was hot, and he removed his battlecoat. He was wearing a t-shirt and black army trousers, and Guinevere couldn’t help but notice how well toned he was.

Maxson led her from the hill down to the sand near the water where the remains of a gazebo was. He sat down on the sand and she sat beside him as far away as she could without seeming rude.

“Is this a place you once visited?” he asked.

“No. We went to Cape Cod most of the time.”

“There’s a song about that place. Do you know it?”

_ It’s the song I sang to RJ,  _ she thought.

“I know it, yes.”

“Regale me with a few lines, if you would.”

Guinevere didn’t want to. But he looked at her expectantly and her fear of him won out. She tried. She got the first stanza, but then her eyes filled with tears and she couldn’t continue.

Maxson gazed at her, the intense eyes softening. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think of the repercussions of my request. You have a lovely voice. Thank you.”

She drew her knees up and rested her head on her arms, looking out over the water.

“The world was so beautiful. I miss the colors and the smells and the animals.”

A tear wound it’s way from her eyes as she remembered her time with her family and baby Shaun. Maxson leaned over to her and brushed it away gently.

“I will assume by now you are aware of my interest in you, Guinevere.”

_ Let me out of here,  _ her mind cried. The ball of fear rolled around faster and she was afraid she might throw up.

“If you will allow me, I’d like to spend more time with you like this. Away from the Prydwen and my responsibilities to the Brotherhood.”

She was afraid and did her best to hide it. 

“Arthur, the distraction would take away from my duties as a Knight. It would be...detrimental."

He laughed. “I can see that you’ve definitely been spending all of your time with Eric. He’s far too rigid. Duty and honor and loyalty are his bread and butter. I wouldn’t want to see you become that way. You have a spark, Guinevere and I aim to see it become a flame. Perhaps these excursions are too soon. I will find a way to convince you, however.”

_ Not in a million years,  _ she thought. But there was something comforting about his attentiveness. Eric had been withdrawing from her more and more to fulfill his duties. RJ was gone and she didn’t know how he felt about her anymore. She felt terribly alone.

Confused, she stared out at the water. She wanted to be left alone, but conversely she wanted the comfort of a close bond with someone.

Maxson tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I could give you the world, Guinevere. If you let me.”

She tried to keep her voice from shaking. “I...I can’t accept anyone in my life right now. It’s too soon after Nate, I’m still not quite able to get past that. Please understand. I joined the Brotherhood to fix the world. And to find my son.”

He took a deep breath. “We will find the Institute and your child. It may take time and our resources are finite, but I will make it a priority. If only to see you smile.”

Guinevere tried. She managed a small one but it pleased him. He rested his hand on her shoulder and felt the instant tension there. He saw her breathing quicken and her eyes stare fixedly. Her hands gripped her arms so tightly that her fingers whitened.

“Guinevere?” he asked softly. “Are you afraid of me?”

She shook her head. “No, of course not Arthur.”

“Look at me, please.”

_ No anything but that! You’ll read my mind again! _

But she knew she’d give in. Slowly Guinevere turned her head and met his eyes.

“You have always been honest with those around you,” he said. “Why would you lie about this? Your feelings matter, Guinevere.”

She couldn’t answer and Maxson sighed heavily. “Your refusal to spend time with me has nothing to do with your Brotherhood duties, does it?”

“No...not really. But I can’t talk about it.” She felt completely wretched. What was Danse thinking, trying to hide their relationship? Anyone with eyes would be able to see how she looked at him, even if he didn’t look at  _ her _ that way.

“You have feelings for Paladin Danse.” It was a direct statement and she couldn’t even try to hide her reaction.

“Oh, Guinevere,” he sighed. Maxson crawled closer to her. “I’ve known Eric for a very long time. I wasn’t even an Elder yet when we met. I’m not sure how to phrase this correctly without sounding unkind, but Eric is incapable of loving anyone but the Brotherhood. His single minded focus makes him an exceptional soldier. He has turned down promotions in order to remain in the field, carrying out our mandate. He’s an excellent trainer and you’ll learn a lot from him, but there is no way there will ever be anything else between you.”

She curled up tighter in discomfort. Was he just saying it because of his own personal interest in her or because it was true? She’d seen evidence of that almost fanatical attention to duty since the Prydwen arrived.

“You’ve seen that in him, haven’t you.” Another direct statement. How was this man so easily able to read her thoughts?

“He was different when we met, yes,” she said. “We...had...fun together sometimes. He likes country music and we went to a party and he sang to me.”

Maxson nodded. “Mhm. That’s Eric. Given to flights of fancy from time to time. But it isn’t at the core of who he is. I’ve often teased him that he wears a power armor frame on the inside. I’ve encouraged him to go west, to join the Elder council. He’s refused to leave the field however.”

Guinevere drew a shaky breath and extended her legs, leaning back on her hands. She didn’t like the conversation and wanted it to stop. But she didn’t think Maxson would oblige.

“You’ll think me cruel for telling you this. I’m sorry Guinevere. It would be far more cruel to allow you to believe that Eric could truly love you the way you deserve, and desire to be loved.”

She tried to appear nonchalant. “Maybe I don’t want anyone in my life right now, even him. Maybe I just can’t manage both my duties and a relationship. I didn’t lie about that.” She sat up and dusted the sand from her hands, and crossed her legs.

Maxson stood up, then held his hand out for her. She didn’t take it but got up on her own. Undaunted, he caught her hand.

“You don’t need to be coy, Guinevere. I see the way you look at me.”

She pulled her hand free. “What? I look at you because I have to!”

“Then why do you do it when you think I’m not looking? Stop lying Guinevere.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, her hands on her shoulders, and looked down. The ball of fear was threatening to make her throw up again.

“I guess because I like the way you look,” she said miserably. “You have blue eyes like Nate did.” More lies. Nate had had hazel eyes. But she couldn’t tell Maxson she looked at him trying to understand why he frightened her so.

“That’s a kind compliment, thank you.” 

He stepped towards her, and saw her tense up. Gently smoothing her hair back he drew closer to her. “Guinevere, I would never hurt you. It’s frankly quite disappointing that you would fear me in any way.” 

He sighed and stepped back, then walked towards the water.

She watched him as he kicked aside some debris, then found a stone and hurled it. Her mind twisted in confusion. The sun was hot and she wandered to the gazebo and stood at the railing, imagining the world was still as it once was.

She closed her eyes and imagined up the smells and sounds and images of the old world. She pretended that when she opened her eyes Nate and Shaun would be there with her and everything she’d been through was nothing more than a nightmare brought on by too much seafood.

Guinevere didn’t hear Maxson as he walked up behind her until he placed his hands over hers.

“Give me a chance, my dear.”

She stood stock still, terrified, pulled out of her gentle reverie. She’d never encountered a man so intense, so insistent on having his way. If she refused him, would he force himself on her? She made a mental note to carry her 10mm with her from then on. Danse’s belief that Maxson was a gentleman couldn’t have felt further from the truth to her.

Whenever she’d been frightened in the past, Nate would defend her. He never questioned her fear. He acted on it. Likewise RJ. He’d either deal with what was frightening her or talk her down from it.

Danse didn’t take her seriously. She’d told him how she felt and he insisted she was being ridiculous. He defended Maxson, not her.

She wanted Danse to go back to the way he had been, protective of her and loving. The idyllic days they’d had before the Prydwen had arrived. She wanted Deacon to be her friend again. She wanted RJ to come home. 

But unhappily she realized that what she wanted didn’t matter a fig nor a feather. Danse would do what he wanted, Arthur would continue to pursue her, Deacon wouldn’t be her friend, and RJ was still gone.

She slumped slightly, defeated.

“You could have anyone you wanted. Why me? I’m a mess.”

He chuckled softly. “A beautiful disaster?”

“The disaster part, bingo. Beautiful? I don’t think so.”

He straightened and turned her around. Before she could move, Maxson brought his lips to hers in a gentle but firm kiss. 

Guinevere was frozen with shock and fear, her eyes wide and staring. Maxson drew back slowly, smiling ever so slightly.

“If your words didn’t convey it, your response told me what I wanted to know. Don’t be afraid of me, my dear.”

He took her hand and led her from the gazebo. Guinevere let him. It was pointless to resist and it was just easier not to.

“Shall we return to the Prydwen?” he asked. “Or is there somewhere else you’d like to go?”

“I’d like to go back, please,” she said shakily.

They returned and docked. Maxson once again reached to lift her down, holding her up and gazing into her face. “I hope you enjoyed our time together,” he said. “I most certainly did.”

He set her down gently. She was aware of a few soldiers watching them.

_ Great,  _ she thought.  _ This will set me apart even more. I’m not going to make any friends here because of Maxson. _

“I’d like to report to Paladin Danse now,” she said.

“Of course, Guinevere. Thank you for this distraction in my day. I look forward to many more.”

* * *

“And this is why we have to let people know we’re together!” exclaimed Guinevere. “He thinks he’s going to court me or whatever.”

Danse sighed. “I’m sure Arthur isn’t trying to do anything of the sort. He was trying to make you feel more at ease.”

Guinevere was frustrated. “You just won’t listen to me Eric! The man wants a relationship with me. He said as much. He didn’t accept my excuses either. I’m starting to feel that you’d much rather have me go off with him than be with you.” 

She stopped short of telling him that Maxson had kissed her. The way Danse had been acting lately she doubted he’d even believe it and might even blame her for instigating it.

Danse drew her into his arms. “You know that isn’t true. We’ve been busy running missions, getting things in order, and soon you’ll be on your two week leave from the Prydwen.”

She gave him a suspicious glance. “ _ My _ leave? You’re coming too right? You’ll be with me at home? Like we talked about before?”

Danse shook his head. “This leave was granted to  _ you _ , not me. My place is here.”

Her jaw dropped. “What? You told me you would be with me no matter where it was! You said you didn’t care where we lived as long as it was together! Eric! You want to conceive a child with me...am I supposed to raise them alone? Why are you being this way?” 

She sat down on the edge of a chair and looked up at him.

“You know I have responsibilities. I’ll be down to visit you as often as I can, Guinevere. You see all the work we have cut out for us here.”

She visibly deflated. It was futile. As she’d concluded earlier, he would just do what he wanted to do regardless of what she said. 

“Ok Eric,” she said sadly. “I loved it when it was just us, before this stupid ship arrived. I feel as though I don’t know you anymore. Or maybe I never did.”

“Guinevere, I understand you’re having a hard time adjusting. As the highest ranking member under the Elder, I’m expected to set an example. If I were to leave what would that tell the other soldiers?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” she dramatically posed. “Oh look, the Paladin has a heart! He’s in love and wants to be with her! What a shocker!”

He looked disappointed. “That’s unkind, Guinevere.”

“Is it? Or is it more unkind to push away and break promises to the person you profess to love?”

She stood and walked past him, going back to the mess hall. She hoped Amanda would be there, somewhere. There were a few people eating but no one she knew. They glanced up at her, then went back to what they were discussing.

“There’s our girl,” a voice spoke behind her. Paladin Brandis smiled and indicated a seat next to him at the bar.

“I knew you were aboard but haven’t seen you yet. Rumors say you’ve caught the eye of the Elder.”

She sighed. “He’s been paying me too much attention and I’m uncomfortable with it. No one has wanted to get to know me because of it.”

“There’s always politics in a big family like this,” he said kindly. “Give them time. You and Eric getting along fine? He never talks about you.”

Her expression fell. “He...he doesn’t?”

Brandis shook his head. “Granted he’s rarely around to shoot the breeze, but when he does he hasn’t mentioned you. I was worried you’d left us.”

She surprised herself by thinking  _ I’m getting there.  _

“He’s very dedicated to his duty,” she said woodenly. “There’s so much to do.”

He nodded. “You’re right there. They haven’t cleared  _ me _ for duty yet. I’ve been working on a new power suit. I saw yours, its pretty much done. Ingram ran into an issue with it. Tiny servos, she said.”

Guinevere had to grin at that. She sat with Brandis and they talked for awhile then she went and wandered around the bowels of the ship. A few knights were engaged in conversation. As she approached they looked at her and fell silent.

“Hi!” she said. “I’m Guinevere Stanton.”

One of them said nothing the other shrugged.

“We know. The whole ship knows about the Elder’s little pet.”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be little girl?” said the other none too kindly.

RJ would have had some snippy comeback for them, but she didn’t. She thrived on kindness and it was in short supply on the Prydwen.

“Bye,” she said and kept walking.

She heard the knights laugh and one of them made a barking sound. 

Guinevere stood on the forecastle for awhile. It was windy but there was no one around. She wondered where Amanda was. She thought about Hancock, and Deacon and RJ. 

She was lonely.

She was getting the sinking feeling that her relationship with Danse wasn’t going well. He seemed to be disinterested in working on it as much as he was attending to his duties. She missed him but the person he’d become since the arrival of the Prydwen wasn’t someone she’d have gotten involved with in the first place.

Guinevere’s emotional needs were not being met. She was affectionate and as of late she’d barely been touched. She didn’t count Maxson’s unwanted attention.

The man she loved was growing remote from her physically and emotionally. She would go to sleep at night alone, without even Dogmeat for companionship. She had trouble sleeping and often wanted to just walk into Danse’s quarters and get into bed with him. 

She wondered what he’d do. The Danse she had first fallen in love with would have cuddled her and made her feel protected and loved. The Danse she knew now would most likely throw her out to save face.  It wasn’t a cheery thought.

_RJ._ She thought about _him_ daily. During those times when her mind was quiet, he’d creep in there. She remembered their time together from when they first met, to the day he left. She remembered his kisses, his smile, his laugh. She realised that she had been happier with him than she had ever been with Danse.

_ But Eric deserves a chance to grow, it wouldn’t be fair of me to just leave him. He’s a good person. He loves me even if showing it isn’t his strong suit. _

Guinevere hated to give up on someone. She knew how hard it could be to balance all the aspects of a life. She’d been a military wife, a mother and a daughter. She’d also held a job before Shaun was born. It was always a balancing act and some days it was nothing but trials.

Danse was a dedicated soldier. She had known that from the day they met. But the dedicated soldiers she had known and loved weren’t fanatical about it. They had worked hard to maintain a sense of balance. She’d mistakenly assumed Danse would be the same. For awhile she thought she’d been right.

Guinevere thought about Fairfax, how affectionate he had been with her. She had been enthralled by his romantic, playful side and thought she was the luckiest woman alive to have him.

Now she had a shell of him.

Soon her leave would start and she’d be free to return home.  _ I need to find RJ. _ That was her only wish.

Night fell and Guinevere curled up in her lonely bed. No dreams, happy or sad came to her that night.


	22. A New Resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere is slowly realizing her relationship with Danse is over, but she refuses to give in; meanwhile she still struggles with the unwanted attention from Maxson. A disturbing event motivates her to make a resolution for her future.

* * *

Maxson held the potted rose out to her, and Guinevere’s face lit up.

“A rose? How did you get this? It’s beautiful!”

“I discovered it in a garden run by bots. Liz in the horticulture section is cultivating more, so one day you’ll have a rose garden my dear.”

He set it down on her bookcase, and she touched the small roses and smelled them.

“Thank you Arthur. It’s wonderful!”

He often visited her and brought her gifts. Usually plants, but occasionally there were personal items too. It bothered her, but she didn't want to risk offending him so she accepted with a smile and a thank you.

He nodded with a smile and sat down at her table. “I’m surprised to see you on the Prydwen. Eric went to the Commonwealth on a mission, I thought you’d be with him?”

Guinevere looked down. Things had been odd between them. Danse had been quite dismissive of her recently. Even when they were alone, he treated her as if they were in a public area.

A few days past, she’d been doing odd jobs for Cade all day, and hadn’t seen Danse at all. She’d gone to his quarters, the armor bay, everywhere he might have been but she didn’t find him.

It was Brandis who’d told her he’d gone on a mission.

That evening Danse was in the mess hall. She’d parked herself beside him.

“After dinner can we go somewhere and just be together? I miss you so much Eric,” she said softly. “I want to feel your arms around me, and your lips on mine.”

He looked at her and blinked. “I...I have reports to complete, Knight.”

She poked him playfully. “I’ve been demoted to Knight?”

He didn’t seem to grasp the joke. She rubbed his leg with her foot beneath the table.

“We aren’t going to start that family of ours if we don’t have alone time you know.” She smiled seductively. “Come on, your reports can wait. In fact, I’ll do them for you or at least help. Just give me some time with you.”

He shook his head. “That would be inappropriate. My responsibilities must come first.”

“Why do I have to beg for attention from you? I don’t think I’m being unreasonable. You haven’t even taken me for training or on any missions in nearly a week!"

Danse took another bite of his food. “You are a distraction, Guinevere. Your focus is divided. You don’t pay attention to your surroundings, you spend too much time seeking it from me.”

She stared at him, but he didn’t meet her eyes, continuing to eat his meal.

“How do you feel about me, Eric?” she asked softly.

“You have the potential to be a great soldier if you got your emotions under control. You have the same condition as that mercenary. This is what becomes of having inappropriate relationships.”

She swallowed hard and chewed her lower lip, doing her best to stop any chance of tears showing up. After being accused of being too emotional, that was the last thing she needed to show.

“I’m sorry that you aren’t happy with my performance. This is so new to me, and it’s been difficult to learn everything. I even had to learn how to walk in that power armor. It would have been better if you’d been there to teach me. Proctor Ingram is a bit impatient.”

Danse nodded. “She forgets that not everyone lives in the frame. I had duties outside the Prydwen that day.”

“I know,” said Guinevere. “But doesn’t sponsorship mean that you’re supposed to teach me everything, and supervise everything I do? That’s why I wanted it. So we’d be together.”

Danse sighed. “Tomorrow we’ll do some training in the power armor. Does that meet your approval? But Guinevere, you have to focus on the task.”

She nodded then grinned playfully. “Can I sleep with you tonight?”

“You know the answer to that already,” he said.

“Sadly yes. But it was worth a try. I’m lonely Eric. For you. Can’t we just go hide somewhere and hold each other? Just for a few minutes?”

“Perhaps another time,” he said dismissively.

“Right,” she said, and got up from the table and went to her room.

Since that day, she’d not seen much of Danse at all. He was usually on a sweep and clear mission and omitted telling her about it.

Maxson saw her disheartened expression. “Has he been fulfilling his side of the sponsorship?” he asked.

Guinevere didn’t want to get Danse in trouble. “Yes. But I’m the problem. I can’t focus sometimes.”

“And why might that be?”

“He says I’m too emotional.”

Maxson laughed softly. “He says that to me as well. He’s even accused Kells of such a thing in the past. He’s a difficult man to understand, Guinevere.”

She shrugged. “He was fine before. When we were at the police station.”

Maxson’s expression softened. “I’m sorry that you fell for him. It’s unfair that such a handsome man is unable to love. He’s disappointed other young recruits in the past.”

This didn’t surprise Guinevere. But she found herself wondering if he’d done the same thing to them. Loved them then changed his mind, which is what it felt like  to her despite his claims he’d never had a relationship before.

“You didn’t answer my question, Guinevere. Why aren’t you with him on the mission?”

She shrugged. “He didn’t want to take me today because my power armor has a short circuit and Proctor Ingram has to fix it.”

“Has no one shown you how to work on it yourself? That was something Danse should have taught you. I’ll see to it that Marion works with you on that.”

“Is Marion Proctor Ingram?” she asked.

“That’s correct.”

“She won’t be happy about that,” responded Guinevere.

“Marion has a hard time with people. She’s excellent with mechanical things, but her social skills are sometimes lacking. Don’t take it personally. She’ll teach you well. And once you get to know her, she’ll open up to you.”

Guinevere doubted that. Proctor Ingram seemed to consider her about as worthy to speak to as she would a molerat.

“You aren’t happy here, are you?” Maxson asked gently.

She wasn’t. Her emotional needs weren’t being met. Her relationship with the man she loved was slowly circling the drain and she didn’t seem able to stop it. And she couldn’t speak a word of it.

“You don’t need to say it. It’s quite obvious, Guinevere.”

Maxson stood up and went to her. Slowly, he drew her to him and embraced her gently. She was slightly chilled, and his warmth was comforting.

She’d felt less afraid of him than she had before, but remained wary of his intentions. Aside from his one kiss, Maxson hadn’t done anything she deemed inappropriate.

“You are permitted to return the gesture, my dear,” he said.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and lay her head on his chest. It was so nice to be hugged, to feel human contact. She’d loved the way Danse held her. How he’d wanted to touch her and be close to her.

Just like RJ, who made everything better just by being near.

Maxson suddenly scooped her up, making her yelp in surprise. He carried her to the bed and lay her down on it, gently.

For a moment she felt a sense of panic until he touched her cheek and stood up.

“Get some rest, Guinevere,” he said. “Tomorrow I’m going to do some training with you myself. I’d like to see what you’ve learned.”

 _Oh no,_ she thought. _I’m absolutely terrible with my gun and have zero melee skills. Eric’s going to be in trouble!_

“I see the worry in your eyes,” he said kindly. “This isn’t a test. I rarely get out to train anymore and I need this. I enjoy your company. 0800 hours,” he said, and left her alone.

* * *

Guinevere felt the seething coming off the Knights as Arthur walked her through the mess hall on his arm towards the power bay.

“Do we have to wear these things?” she asked. “I hate it!”

Maxson laughed. “Yes we do, and you just need more experience in them. Suit up, Knight.”

Guinevere begrudgingly climbed into her suit. She watched as Maxson went into a room off to the side where he kept his. All the suits she’d seen before were a silver color, some more tarnished than others. Maxson’s had blue stripes and the Brotherhood symbol on the chest was a bright white. It was polished and looked brand new.

“My suit was found in an abandoned military base,” he explained. “It was in excellent shape and I’ve cared for it since then. It’s magnificent isn’t it!”

“Yes it is,” she agreed amiably although she couldn't care less about power armor.

He led her to the vertibirds. With the suits, he was unable to fly on his own. He fastened the harness on her, but he held onto a brace and didn’t use one.

They flew into the city and the vertibird set down on the top of a building.

“Don’t know what we’ll find,” he said. “No intel on this place. Consider it an adventure.”

 _Oh joy,_ thought Guinevere. _Please let there be no ghouls or Gen 3 synths in here.”_

There were a few Gunners trying to set up a camp. Guinevere had no problem shooting them down. That was so many less to come after RJ.

Maxson handed her his weapon. “Try this one out. You’ll be impressed.”

As they went further into the building, feral ghouls began activating. One appeared to have been trapped halfway beneath a fallen cabinet for an undetermined length of time. It growled and clawed the air.

Maxson let out an exclamation of disgust and stomped on the creature’s head. It was a brutal act and Guinevere was momentarily shocked. She’d seen Danse step on them once they were dead, and RJ had certainly kicked several in his time, but Maxson’s enraged action was different.

“Vile,” he said harshly and moved on.

Surprisingly, she found several comic books and one magazine about cars. Her heart soared until she realized that there was no RJ to give them to.

Maxson was interested in some tech they found, which she had no idea of.

More ferals showed up the lower they went, and Maxson’s weapon made quick work of them. She _was_ impressed by it.

“You have a fast reaction,” he observed. “And your accuracy is good. It will improve as you spend more time in the field. Tell me, Guinevere, have you heard of the Railroad?”

A cold hand seized her heart and she was grateful for the power suit helmet hiding her expression.

“Yes, there used to be trains everywhere in the Commonwealth. Or do you mean the Underground Railroad that freed the slaves?” She didn’t know why, but felt it was best to feign ignorance.

“No, the Railroad that operates from the shadows currently. They are a bunch of raving lunatics who believe that the disgusting synths are actually human. They have been secretly harboring them and sending them away to ‘live’ elsewhere. They are an abominable organization who we’ve been trying to locate.”

“The synths, the ones that look human, how can we tell the difference?” she asked.

“Until you kill them, you can’t,” answered Maxson. “We’ve been seeking out their repugnant safehouses and blowing them to hell.”

She was horrified. “But that could result in innocent people being killed!”

“Anyone who works for and with the Railroad is not innocent. They have some deep cover operatives that have proved difficult to locate, but it’s only a matter of time before we find their top agents and free humanity of their insanity.”

 _Deacon,_ she thought with fear.

“I’ve never heard of them. I don’t have anything to do with synths though. That I know of.”

“It’s the hardest battle to fight. An unseen enemy. But the Brotherhood will prevail!”

Guinevere realized that suddenly Deacon had been right. For her to be seen with any ghouls or synths or Railroad was to put them in mortal danger. John was safe because only Danse and Haylen knew where she lived.

How long would it be before Maxson pried that knowledge out of them, or even out of her? She began to regret her decision to join them. They shot first, asked questions never.

“Let’s find some more tech,” she suggested, wanting to get away from the topic of the Railroad.

Once they’d cleared the building to Maxson’s satisfaction, he took her outside into the city. They wandered about, killing the odd raider who had the audacity to attack them.

None of the other buildings they checked had anything worth taking, not even a bottle of alcohol.

“Was Danse on a mission today?” she asked him.

“I believe so. Doesn’t he communicate his schedule to you?”

“No,” said Guinevere. “Not until after if I ask. He hasn’t really interacted with me much since we came aboard.”

“Hmm,” was all Maxson said.

They came to the edge of the waterfront and removed their helmets. Maxson reached out to touch her hair, but she suddenly ducked away.

“Guinevere?” he asked, surprised.

“I don’t like being touched by the suits,” she said quickly. “It’s...not real...and bothers me.”

“Exit,” he said.

She climbed out of her suit as he did the same.

Maxson took one step towards her and pulled her into his arms, his lips finding hers in a fierce, startling kiss. “My Guinevere,” he breathed.

She was shocked and frightened by his sudden show of dominance. She’d begun to calm down around him, as he’d never done anything of the kind since their flight to the shore.

“Arthur!” she cried, and pushed him away. She felt quivery inside and stepped back, staring into his eyes.

He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender, then placed them behind his back.

“Come here, Guinevere,” he said firmly.

She shook her head.

His eyes narrowed and his gaze intensified. Arthur Maxson wasn’t used to being disobeyed and he didn’t like it.

“Guinevere.” His tone was hard.

The ball of fear came back with a vengeance, rolling around in the pit of her stomach, threatening to make her throw up. She balled up her fists and pressed them there, her eyes wide and staring. She wanted to turn and run.

“You’ve reached the end of the railing," said Maxson "If you back up any further, you’ll fall over the edge into the water.”

 _Will that get me away from you?_ She silently asked herself.

Maxson held out one hand to her. “Come here,” he said.

“N...no,” she said shakily, and her eyes brimmed with unshed tears.

“Guinevere, if I wished to hurt you, don’t you think I’d have done so long ago? And if I wanted to catch you it would be like catching a child. At this point you must realize that I care for you deeply. You awaken a passion inside me I’ve never felt before. This should please, not frighten you.”

Her tears crept free of her eyes, and she stood trembling. She wanted RJ to swoop in and save her, or even Danse. Even a raider at this point. Anyone. Anything.

“I want to go home,” she said softly. “Please, Arthur. I don’t feel well at all.”

He sighed and lowered his hand. “You need to return to your suit to do that,” he said. “I’ll call the vertibird once you do.”

He walked some distance away and she got back into her suit. Throwing down the smoke grenade, he climbed back into his own suit to wait.

Maxson didn’t speak to her as they waited. The vertibird seemed to take forever to arrive. Guinevere was still afraid, and still felt a sense of anxiety.

Her relief washed over her when she heard the heavy rotors and saw the vehicle descending.

The ride back was uneventful, and Guinevere was hoping maybe Maxson would leave her alone.

She followed him back to the power station. He went into his room to take his suit off, and she parked in her bay. Danse was there and looked up.

“Did you have an interesting time with the Elder?” he asked.

She looked at him as though he had 5 heads. “No,” she said, and walked off down the hall to her room.

Maxson emerged and looked for her. “Eric, did you see Guinevere?”

“Yes, she didn’t look too pleased. What happened out there?”

Maxson gave him the mission rundown, omitting his kiss and her reaction, and Danse shrugged. “Sounds moderately successful. Knight Stanton is emotional. She’s difficult to understand.”

Maxson laughed. “Isn’t that what every man throughout history has lamented? Women are difficult to understand?”

“I suppose so,” said Danse, and returned to his power suit.

* * *

Maxson found Guinevere in her room.

“I apologize for frightening you,” he said. “Can we start over?”

She looked downhearted. Any answer other than yes would be discounted. And he’d do whatever he wanted regardless. She wanted to leave, and never return. Between Danse’s complete reversal on their relationship and Maxson’s unwanted advances, she was a wreck.

Suddenly a cacophony exploded in the hall. Maxson turned, annoyed, as a group of Knights, out of their power armor, came laughing and shouting.

“What is the meaning of this?” Maxson asked sternly.

Surprised to see him there, the Knights snapped to attention. “Elder Maxson sir, we’ve had a victory against the Railroad!”

Maxson pointed to the observation deck. “Prepare for debriefing soldiers!”

They saluted and immediately headed off.

“My dear,” he said to Guinevere. “I’ll speak with you later.”

Guinevere’s heart was pounding like crazy as she followed quietly behind them.

“What is this victory you speak of?” asked Maxson. “Knight-Captain Sanderson, report!”

“Sir yes sir!” cried one of the men, a shorter, well muscled fellow, who stepped out of line.

“We discovered a Railroad safehouse. They were harboring 11 synths. Final body count was 11 synths, and 4 agents. Building was reclaimed in the name of the Brotherhood.”

Guinevere’s head was spinning. She shut her eyes in horror. 15 lives snuffed out. Had Deacon been among them? Or one of the other agents she’d befriended? Glory? Tony? How had they found the safehouse? Guinevere didn’t stick around to hear.

The Commonwealth wasn’t being saved, it was in danger from these fanatics. She heard them shout _Ad Victorium_ then cheer raucously.

 _I can’t leave,_ she realized. _I need to find a way to help the people of the Commonwealth. They need to be protected from the Brotherhood._

As she walked back to her room, her mind was racing on what she could do. She needed to find a way to get a hold of the Brotherhood intel. Find out what they knew and how.

Bolstered by her new resolve, Guinevere settled into her bed and fell asleep.


	23. Because We're A Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere reunites with RJ; Danse further confuses her with his visit to the Red Rocket; Amanda Haylen surprises Hancock.

* * *

“What’s up with you, gloomy gus?” asked Daisy, lighting up a cigarette and sitting down on the bench beside RJ.

“Just thinking. Nothing exciting.”

“You walked away from the greatest thing you ever had. Don’t try and fool old Daisy. I’m ancient. Seen it all.”

RJ sighed. “Guinny made her choice. I just couldn’t be there to deal with it anymore. I mean at first I got it, she had trouble admitting that she loved me. But...after that night...and again that morning, I thought she finally realised it. Hearing her say it was a mistake just about did me in.”

Daisy nodded and blew out a stream of blue smoke. “You think she’s making a mistake, don’t you.”

“Yeah, I do. I’m worried about her.”

“Then go back and fight for her. You don’t get a great thing for free MacCready.”

RJ shook his head. “I can’t go back. Seeing them together, it’s too hard. I just wanna punch him in the face sometimes. It’s no way to live.”

Daisy laughed. “Maybe you should. Feel better afterwards. Your little gal, she’s a sweetheart. She wants to be loved. You didn’t make your feelings clear so she gave that love to someone else. But she’s smart enough to find out if she made a mistake. She’ll figure her heart out. You need to be there when she does. Not out here running around. Nothing out here is as important as keeping an eye on her.”

RJ knew his friend was right. But his pride was holding him back. That and the lack of courage to admit he’d been wrong to leave.

“I was pretty hard on her the day I left. I wouldn’t want me back if I were her,” he said glumly.

“Good thing you’re not then. You’re  _ you _ MacCready. And it’s  _ you _ she’s going to need.”

“Yeahhh,” he drawled. “Guess I gotta suck it up and go back. I miss her so much.”

“I know you do, MacCready.” She patted his leg and went back in to her shop.

Deacon caught up with him as he was about to leave Goodneighbor.

“Hey hey, you escaping?”

“Yeah I better be getting home.”

Deacon grinned. “You miss that little girl don’t you. She’s got some twisted up shit in her mind for going with the Brotherhood but I can’t see her staying with them for long. Look I’d travel with you but this whole Brotherhood thing, I can’t be around her. You understand, right?”

RJ nodded. “Yeah I get it. See ya Deacon.”

* * *

The trek home was long and RJ’s emotions were frayed by the time he got there. He was unsure of how Guinevere would feel about him coming back. He had no idea how he’d apologize for what he’d said to her. He knew he’d been harsh.

Hancock was on the roof in his chair passed out on chems as usual but Dogmeat and Codsworth greeted him.

He walked in and put his pack in his room then went to the bath shed. He didn’t want to see Guinevere with all the dirt and stink of the road on him.

Guinevere had been at Sanctuary Hills, playing basketball with Barnaby and teaching him old world words and expressions. The young ghoul was thriving with his new friends.

When she returned home and went inside, she saw RJ’s pack on his bed. Her heart raced and she called out for him.

“RJ?!” She ran outside and around the diner.

He emerged from the bath shed and looked up as she ran straight into his arms.

“RJ! You’re back! You came home!”

He held her close, inhaling her scent and loving her. “Yeah I’m back. Guess I couldn’t stay away. Invested too much time in that car which I see that damn ghoul hasn’t worked on one bit.”

She drew back but didn’t let go of him. “The car? That’s not the only reason is it?”

Looking in her eyes, RJ noticed that something wasn’t quite right with her. There was a wariness to her expression and she looked thinner than she did the last time he’d seen her. But there was also a glow about her skin. 

“You know that’s not true,” he said gently. He wanted to lean in and kiss her.

“I just came home too,” said Guinevere. “I have to live on the Prydwen for 2 weeks a month. I feel like I’ve been freed from prison! And now you’re back and it’s like heaven!”

RJ laughed. “Don’t flatter me so much, beautiful. So it sucks up there?”

She nodded. “Yes. I hate it. And the Elder...he’s got a thing for me. It’s so terrible...and Eric won’t believe me.”

RJ looked around suspiciously. “Where’s that jackhole anyway?”

Guinevere pointed upwards.

“Ok so either he’s dead or on that thing.”

She gave him a look.

“Yeah I knew it was too much to hope for. So this other asshole is coming onto you and tinman just lets him?”

Guinevere pulled him to the stone bench in the garden where they sat down. She told him everything that had happened since he left.

RJ couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “That place sounds like a nightmare. Why don’t you leave, Guinny?”

She sucked in her lips and he sighed.

“Ok...Guinny…” he played with her hand. There’s some stuff I need to say first. I shouldn’t have left the way I did. I’m not gonna do that ever again. That’s a promise. I know I said before that I’d never leave you and I broke that promise, so I’m sorry. Won’t happen again. But Guinny I can’t say things will be the way they were before.”

She looked confused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean how we were with each other. You know...always touching. Now that we’ve gone all the way it’s too hard to just ...I’m messing this up. I’m gonna shut up and hope you know what I mean.”

Guinevere suppressed a smile. “RJ...um..” She pointed to the hand he was playing with.

He raised his eyebrows, then brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. “Stick a fork in me. I’m done. So much for that!”

She laughed softly and took his other hand. He looked down at the ground, then met her eyes.

“But...if something changes with you and tinman...and you want to be with me for real...I’ll be waiting. Because I still believe that you belong with me.”

She threw her arms around him and he happily held her. The anxiety and the ball of fear that was her constant companion faded almost instantly. She felt loved, and protected, and so content.

“So you want me to blow that other guy’s head off? Got a big set of balls to kiss you that way.”

Guinevere laughed. “Well...you did the same thing to me that time.”

“But I do have big balls.”

“You’re the lion I thought!”

He grinned. “With big balls!”

She looked at him rather coyly. “Speaking of which, I was kind of surprised by you when we...umm...made love.”

RJ looked rather shy for a moment. “Heh. Oh yeah, him. Kinda why it doesn’t bug me when people call me the  _ little guy _ . I know better.”

Guinevere burst out laughing. It felt so good to do so. She could still talk to RJ about anything with no awkwardness. It was though they never had a falling out.

Hancock hung his head over the edge of the roof. “That’s the best sound I’ve heard in a long while! And what do you know, it’s because of you MacCready. Welcome home!”

RJ looked up and shook his fist comically at his friend. “You damn lazy ghoul! Why’s my car not finished?!”

“It’s  _ your  _ car you just said so! And I had hard decisions to make each day.”

RJ rolled his eyes. “Let me guess...work on the car or which chem to take?”

“You got it, son.”

Hancock climbed down and walked around to them. “So are you here to stay now?”

RJ nodded. “Yeah. This is home. I’m not leaving except in a body bag.”

“Good,” said Hancock. “Sunshine has two weeks with us. We gotta convince her not to go back to that flying shithole.”

“Mission accepted,” said RJ.

* * *

The joy that Guinevere experienced with RJ and Hancock in their strange little home changed her once more. Her eyes brightened, she put on weight, and she smiled and laughed almost constantly.

They played together, they read comic books and magazines and worked on the car. Guinevere took them to get paint for it, and they were waylaid by raiders. Her skill in battle impressed them both and she thanked her training with the Brotherhood for that.

Guinevere was surprised when a vertibird landed in the field a few days into her leave. She was worried it might have been Maxson, and her feelings were mixed when she saw it was Danse.

She wanted to run to him and hug him but she was confused and hesitant. He hadn’t been very interested in being affectionate with her for weeks.

“I’ve missed you Guinevere,” he said gently, and pulled her close. She hugged him back.

“You have? The last time we talked you seemed like you didn’t want to continue our relationship.”

Danse looked surprised. “I’ve been extremely busy, it’s true, but I never said I didn’t want to be with you!”

Her brow furrowed as she looked up at him. “Eric, when I asked you how you felt about me, you answered me as though you were giving me an evaluation. And it wasn’t a good one.”

He brought his lips down to hers. “In the presence of others I must adhere to Brotherhood protocols.”

She didn’t understand yet another complete reversal in his attitude, but she was glad he hadn’t given up on them as a couple.

RJ did his best to keep himself distracted as Guinevere and Danse spent time together. He saw how much she enjoyed having the Paladin there. Still, RJ didn’t think their relationship was a healthy one, especially not after she’d told him how Danse treated her onboard the airship.

“Maxson misses you,” said Danse at dinner that night.

“Yuck,” said Guinevere.

“You are quite uncomplimentary towards him, Guinevere. He’s granted you many favors not given to anyone else. He’s been very kind to you.”

She moved the food around on her plate. “He makes me feel uncomfortable. I told you that.”

RJ glared at Danse. “Maybe you need to actually listen to what she’s saying there tinman. Or has all the clanging made you deaf? The guy comes onto her all the time. Shouldn’t you do something about that?”

Danse continued eating, not deigning to even look up. “You would know nothing of the way a proper gentleman treats a lady, MacCready.”

RJ gave a barking laugh. “Yeah you’re right. So let me get this straight. If I want to be all upper class like him...I walk up to a woman and just kiss her, uninvited right? Because I did that and you pretty much consider me a caveman.”

Guinevere looked horrified. “RJ! That...you shouldn’t have said that! That was private!”

Danse frowned. “Guinevere? Is what he said true?”

She nodded. “I  _ told _ you Maxson wants a relationship with me. You never believe me.”

Hancock shook his head. “This is what comes of having secrets. Your relationship for one thing needs to be made public.”

Danse affixed Hancock with a hostile glare. “If I wanted the opinion of a ghoul...never mind. No self respecting human would ever ask for that.”

“Eric! That was uncalled for!” cried Guinevere, distressed. Already her eyes took on a worried cast and her body language was one of wariness. 

“Self-respect is overrated,” said Hancock, digging into his meal. He had never cared what anyone thought of him. Least of all a member of the Brotherhood.

Guinevere looked desperately unhappy. “Could we please enjoy this meal without bickering? I want to enjoy my time with all of you. Eric are you staying the night?”

He shook his head. “I have a team mission in the morning. Amanda has leave to come visit you however. She’ll arrive in the afternoon.”

Guinevere was cheered up. “Finally!”

“Is that one gonna have a problem with me?” asked Hancock.

“She’s a good kid,” said RJ. “You’ll like her. She’s more like Guinny than tinman. Come to think of it all normal people are like Guinny. Odd, that.”

“Guinevere,” said Danse. “We need to have a discussion.”

“After dinner we can talk, Eric,” she said.

* * *

“I’m confused by you,” Guinevere said. “A relationship takes time and effort...and togetherness. We’ve had neither. I’ve begged you for time alone and you’ve been very dismissive. I don’t know what to think anymore.”

Danse pulled her into his lap and held her, but it didn’t feel the way it used to. She couldn’t explain it but everything about him seemed different somehow. Could it be that  his behavior onboard the Prydwen had pushed her away so far that she felt disconnected from him?

“I love you,” he said. “And I’m bothered by what MacCready said at dinner. Did Arthur truly kiss you?”

“Yes. He insisted that I accept his advances and he kissed me before I could do a thing. That was the first time. He did it again recently too. He frightens me, Eric. I don’t like being on the Prydwen. The soldiers dislike me because of the attention I’ve gotten from you as my sponsor and from Arthur.”

He held her close. “I know I’ve been preoccupied lately and it’s been difficult for you. I’m aware keeping our relationship private has caused you unhappiness.”

“At this point Eric, telling everyone would make it even more awkward. You’ve let Arthur fawn all over me for a month. He’d know we lied before. This situation has gone past the point of no return. Every day on the ship I’ve questioned if you even love me any more.”

Danse frowned. “That’s a cruel thing to say. You know I love you.”

“When you have the time and inclination and if it doesn’t interfere with your Brotherhood activities. I’ve been telling you there’s a problem here and you’d rather ignore it. How on earth will we explain the situation if I get pregnant? You know what? Never mind. I’m tired of this issue.”

She moved to get up but Danse tried to stop her. He held her too tightly and she whimpered in pain.

“I’m sorry, Guinevere,” he said, letting her go. 

She rubbed her abdomen gingerly and looked at him as though he were a stranger. “You...you’ve never hurt me before,” she said eyeing him warily. 

He held his arms out to her. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t want you to leave. I do love you, Guinevere.”

She hugged him, but didn’t sit back down. 

“I’m going to go have a bath. You can join me if you want.” She half expected him to reject the offer.

Instead, he followed her. “I’d like that very much.”

* * *

Guinevere waited eagerly for Amanda to arrive the following afternoon. She had mixed feelings seeing Danse leave the evening before, knowing that he’d be dismissive of her when she returned to the Prydwen.

They’d made love, but there was just something off about that too. Danse professed his love for her again, but she didn’t think anything would change once they were back on the Prydwen. She had felt hopeful as they reconnected but it was too short a visit and she felt empty afterwards.

She went into the garden and curled up on a blanket with Dogmeat. RJ saw her and immediately put his tools down and crawled out from under the car.

Hancock pulled him back. “Let her be, MacCready. I think she needs some time alone.”

“She needs me Hancock,” RJ protested.

“Yeah she does. But right now she needs to process a whole bunch of shit and it’s not something you can help with.”

RJ grunted and sighed, crawling back under the car.

When Amanda arrived, she hugged Guinevere warmly.

“How did you manage to get leave? Eric is such a slave driver,” laughed Guinevere. She’d needed her solitude and RJ saw that Hancock had been right again.

“Don’t I know it!” said Amanda with a grin. “I went to the Elder. I really wanted to see you so bad and I knew he’d say yes. What did you  _ do _ to him? He’s gone off his nut in regards to you.”

Guinevere wrinkled her nose. “Showed up.”

“You won’t like what I brought you then,” Amanda giggled.

“Oh heavens,” said Guinevere with a sigh.

Amanda opened her pack and pulled out a hub-flower. It had a bright red ribbon tied on it. “He said to give it to you.”

Guinevere turned around and pointed to the four hubflower bushes she had by the fence.

“Oh dear!” laughed Amanda. “He gave it to me in the mess hall as I was leaving. Half the ship is extremely envious of you. The Elder has a huge fanclub.”

“Ew,” said Guinevere. “But since Eric stole my hair ribbon…” She pulled the ribbon off the flower and called Dogmeat. 

“Hey buddy, here! Go give it to Mama Murphy!”

The dog barked, took the flower, and galloped off out of the gate and down the road.

“Who’s Mama Murphy?” asked Amanda.

“Oh she’s a strange old lady in Sanctuary down the road. She has this foresight thing that only happens when she takes chems.”

“Did someone say chems?” Hancock wandered up behind Amanda. 

She turned.

“Oh...hi...you must be...John Hancock right? I’m Amanda Haylen.” She held her hand out to him.

Surprised, Hancock took it. “Pleased to meet ya,” he said.

“You’re the mayor of Goodneighbor, right?”

“That I am. But sunshine here convinced me to escape!” He laughed. “I go back now and then to make sure there’s no trouble. A lot of good people there. So. I’m a ghoul. You’re Brotherhood. We gonna have a problem?”

He expected her to go on the defensive. Instead, Amanda laughed. “Not unless you want to eat me! Then I might need to defend myself. I should warn you though. I’m probably a bit gamey.”

Hancock’s eyes lit up. “You’re nothing like the Brotherhood I’ve met.”

Amanda shrugged. “They sort of suck. But I’ve been with them for years. I like what I do.”

“Which is?” asked Hancock.

“I’m primarily a medic. It can be rough sometimes but mostly it’s nice helping people. Just wish I could get off that flying fortress and actually  _ do _ something. It was more fun when we first got here.”

Hancock nodded. “Good attitude to have in this world. I’m glad my girl has a friend who isn’t actively trying to get rid of us. Danse isn’t a fan of mine.”

Amanda looked apologetic. “He’s hardcore Brotherhood. Paladin Danse is a good man but he takes the Codex seriously. I sort of don’t.”

Hancock shook his head. “Both you and sunshine need to leave that cesspool,” he said. “You don’t do chems do you?” he asked hopefully.

Amanda looked at the ground and bumped it with the toe of her boot. “Uhh...yeah. Sometimes I have to take Mentats when I work with tech. But I’m careful about it.”

Hancock looked like he was going to float away. “Mentats! That’s my chem of choice! I got some of every flavor! I’ll send you home with some.”

Amanda grinned. “Thanks!”

Guinevere stared at her friend. “Chems?! Amanda!”

“I need them sometimes. I’m not brainy enough to get through tech repairs without it. Cade keeps an eye on me.”

“ _ He _ knows about it too?”

Amanda nodded. “Yes. It’s not a recreational use thing Guin. The Knights use chems in battle sometimes too. You’ve never used chems ever?”

“No way,” said Guinevere. “I don’t need them.”

RJ came around the side of the building. Amanda waved to him.

“Hey kid!” he said.

“I’m probably older than you!” she called back. 

He joined them. “Guinny’s older than me,” he said.

“Three whole years. That’s a lifetime right there RJ,” laughed Guinevere.

“Two years and 8 months to be exact,” he said. “If you don’t count the whole pre-war thing.”

“You babies,” said Hancock. “I’m old as hell compared to the lot of you.”

“You’re a ghoul though,” said Amanda.

“Not a regular kind. I’m not pre-war. I uhh...I did this to myself. Chems. Long story, real ugly.”

Amanda was interested. “Well if you’re willing to tell it, I’m willing to listen. I like people’s life stories. This is mine: I grew up on a farm in the capital wastes and it sucked so the Brotherhood came to town and I thought it would help me get the heck out of it and here I am.”

Guinevere grinned. “I was born over 200 years ago. I married my childhood sweetheart and we had a baby boy. Then we bought places in a vault, and they put us in cryopods when the bombs fell. The Institute murdered my husband and kidnapped my baby boy 10 years ago before putting me back to sleep.”

They looked at RJ.

“Uh. Ok. Well I’m from Little Lamplighter in the capital wastes. I was the mayor of it for awhile. I had a wife and a son, Duncan. Ferals murdered Lucy then Duncan got sick real bad and I came here, joined the Gunners for awhile trying to find the cure. Then I met Guinny and she helped me get it and … maybe now he’s ok.”

“Woah,” said Amanda. “I heard of Little Lamplighter. It was all run by kids right? I used to want to run away to there but never knew exactly where it was!”

“It’s a cave,” said RJ. “You didn’t miss much trust me.”

Hancock lit up a cigarette. “My brother’s the mayor of Diamond City. One day he lost his fucking head and threw all the ghouls out of the city. Many of them died. I did nothing about it. Got so bad inside my head I started taking chems. One of ‘em turned me into the fine specimen of ghoul you see before you. Wandered to Goodneighbor one day. It was run by an asshole named Vic. Killed people just for the fun of it right in the streets when the mood took him. Again I just stood there and let it happen. Anyway ended up getting a posse and killing him. Became the mayor and that’s about it.”

“Wow John,” said Amanda, stunned by his story. “I always wondered why there’s no ghouls in DC. Not that I go there often. You must hate your brother.”

Hancock nodded. “With every bone in my body. I’d say with every hair on my head but as you can see, that wouldn’t illustrate the point very well.”

This made the others laugh. Hancock had a good sense of humor despite what he’d suffered and was still suffering.

Guinevere led everyone inside and put the coffee unit on. She dug up some cinnamon rolls she’d made a few days ago.

“It’s so nice to hang out like this without anyone fighting!” she said.

“Is Danse that bad here?” asked Amanda.

“Yes. Hancock is a huge problem for him. To a lesser extent so is RJ. Mainly because RJ said he loved me in front of him.”

Amanda looked at RJ. “Awkward!”

“Got that right,” he responded.

“Why didn’t you tell her before?”

RJ made a face. “I’m a pussy.”

Amanda laughed. “Fair enough. So RJ I thought you went your own way and left here.”

He looked contrite. “Yeah I got some attitude and took off for a bit. This is home though. Home is anywhere Guinny is. And she wasn’t out there.”

Amanda looked around. “This place is fabulous Guin. I love it. You made this a real home. What was it before, in the old world?”

“A gas station and diner if you can believe  that!”

They laughed and ate, played some games and Amanda and Hancock took Mentats and played 20 questions. Amanda won.

Nighttime appeared and Amanda regrettably had to leave. “I’ll see you on the Prydwen when you come back,” she said.

“I had a great time,” said Guinevere hugging her.

“Me too! I want to live here with you guys!”

“I’d be all over that,” said Hancock with a smile.

Amanda hugged the ghoul, whose surprised expression made everyone laugh.

She went to the open space across the road and threw out the smoke grenade. Guinevere waited with her until the vertibird came and took her away.

“This was a great day,” she said when she returned to the diner.

“Sure was,” said Hancock.

“We’re a family is why,” said RJ. “Tinman messes everything up. Tell him to go away Guinny.”

He draped his arm around her shoulder and kissed the side of her head.

She turned and smiled at him. “Thought we weren’t doing this anymore?” she asked.

“Might as well tell me to stop drinking and breathing too. Besides, didn’t we figure out my brain’s roasted when it comes to you, beautiful? Yeah I’m never gonna stop touching you.”

Guinevere laughed joyfully. Love and family were a wonderful thing.


	24. Double Agent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere ends her relationship with Danse and reads an old mission she hopes would shed light on his change of heart; she learns something that decides her next move.

 

* * *

Guinevere returned to the Prydwen after promising a whining RJ that she’d be back to check on him whenever she could.

Danse hadn’t returned to see her after his one visit, but Guinevere had been busy and distracted enough that she didn’t allow it to affect her. She’d loved being home. It had renewed her spirit.

She opened the bulkhead door to her room and dropped her pack in surprise.

The entire room was filled with plants and potted flowers of one type or another. There were tiny sparkling lights criss crossing the ceiling and her bed was dressed in soft green sheets and a matching cover.

She looked at it with delight. Maybe that was why Eric hadn’t come to see her! He was making her a little home away from home. 

There was a comfortable chair with a reading lamp and even a bookcase beside a desk. She eagerly looked at all the titles and joyfully realised she’d have many happy nights curled up reading. The collection seemed to have been salvaged from both private collections and libraries, some as far away as California and New Vegas.

She put her pack contents away excitedly and went on a search to find Danse.  She found him at Provisional. He was speaking with Proctor Teagan.

“Eric!” she cried, forgetting herself and where she was. “Thank you so much! I love it, it’s beautiful!”

She was smiling widely, her eyes once more glowing. Her hair was tied with the red ribbon from Maxson’s gift and she was wearing simple military fatigues.

She turned to Proctor Teagan. “Hi Martin! I’m back!”

He laughed softly. “So you are. It’s been too quiet back here without you. My inventory is a mess. I need help!”

“Ok!” she laughed at his comedically woeful expression.

Before her leave, Guinevere had often assisted him with his shop. She liked it, seeing the different soldiers and what they chose to sign out. Some bothered to speak with her, mostly the Lancers and scribes. The other Knights didn’t like her too much but Guinevere was just happy to have  _ some _ people who weren’t biased towards her.

Danse looked down at her, his expression unreadable. “Knight Stanton, you’re forgetting yourself. This is  _ Proctor  _ Teagan.”

Her expression fell. “But he’s my friend,” she said softly. “He lets me call him Martin.”

“Irreverence is unbecoming a Knight.”

Teagan waved at him dismissively. “Let her be, Eric. Formality isn’t always necessary.”

Danse looked her over, disapproval on his face. “You aren’t in regulation gear, Knight.”

“I know, I just got back. Br...Initiate Price was on the vertibird that came for me. I … kind of thought  _ you’d  _ come. But...I love my room! Thank you!”

Danse looked confused. “I don’t know what you’re referring to.”

“The plants and lights and the bedding? That wasn’t from you?”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry I know nothing about it.”

Her happy smile faded. “Oh, alright. Maybe Amanda...Scribe Haylen did it.”

She turned to the provisioner and he was dismayed to see the brightness had left her eyes. “Proctor Teagan, I’ll get changed and come help you.”

“Martin,” he corrected with a wink.

She looked up at Danse. “Aren’t you happy to see me at all? I hoped you’d visit me again after the first time.” She looked hopeful. Maybe there’d be something in his eyes to tell her he  _ was  _ pleased to see her.

“My duties here take precedence over any personal excursions, Knight,” he said. 

“Are you pleased I’m back though?”

Danse blinked at her. “You’ve spent too much time with that mercenary. You are behaving emotionally. Of course it’s good when a soldier returns home.”

Guinevere searched his face for a few more moments, still hoping to see some glimmer in his eyes. When none was forthcoming, she dropped her eyes.

“Permission to leave now, Paladin sir,” she said dully.

He nodded and she turned and ran in the direction of her room. She nearly collided with a knight as he crossed from Cade’s medical center.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” she said with a smile.

He didn’t smile back. “There’s no running onboard,” he said rather coldly.

“I didn’t know,” she said. “Thanks for telling me!”

Another knight walked up. “Leave her alone Benson.”

Guinevere momentarily thought that someone was being kind to her, until she heard that second Knight say “She’ll go running to Maxson and we’ll all be fucked.”

Guinevere ran the rest of the way.

Danse hadn’t greeted her or asked how she was doing. All he had done was berate her for her speech and manner of dress. He couldn’t even give her any show of kindness. Nothing at all.

_ I hate this double life. It’s like he’s two different people and expects me to be the same, and I can’t be.  _

As despondent as she was now feeling, her room cheered her as she entered. She touched a carrot flower and bent to smell it.

“Do you like it, Guinevere?”

She turned around and her eyes fell on Maxson. “Was this...was this from you?”

He smiled. “You seemed so disappointed by our lack of a beautification project that I had to do something to make you happy.”

He noticed the ribbon in her hair. “I see you got my gift.”

“Yes, thank you Arthur.”

“It looks lovely in your hair. Would you like a radio?”

Her eyes lit up. “To talk to my family?”

He shook his head. “I was referring to a music radio. Would you like one?”

She nodded excitedly. “Yes please!”

“Guinevere may I come in?” he affixed her with that cool gaze of his.

She looked uncertain. Danse might get upset with her if she let him in there. The last thing she wanted was to make him prickly with her even more.

“I might get in trouble again,” she said softly.

He chuckled. “I’m the leader of the Eastern Brotherhood. Do you think  _ anyone _ will give you trouble for spending time with me?”

“Paladin Danse would,” she said.

“Is that the reason for your sad eyes?”

She nodded. 

“May I come in, Guinevere?” he asked again.

She indicated the comfortable chair and he sat down. “I’ve missed you. It’s been colorless here since you left.”

She looked around. “It’s colorless because it’s all grey steel!”

He laughed and it reached his eyes. “You make a great point, Guinevere. Are you on the duty roster for today?”

“No, but I’m helping Proctor Teagan.”

“Martin speaks highly of you. Do you enjoy working in provisional?”

She nodded. “He’s...he’s one of my only friends here.”

“I thought maybe you’d like to work with the plants as well.”

“Plants?”

He nodded. “Did Eric not show you the arboretum?”

Her eyes lit up. “No, there is one? Really?”

Maxson stood up. “You remember when I brought you the rose? I mentioned Liz in horticulture? Come along, I’ll introduce you to her.”

“I need to get changed first,” she said.

“There isn’t anything wrong with your outfit, Guinevere.”

He saw her discomfort. “I’m going to have a word with Danse,” he said. “There’s no reason to cause you undue stress over such little things. Now come along.”

As they walked, Guinevere asked him. “Is it forbidden to run on the Prydwen?”

He glanced down at her. “What a strange question. We discourage it for safety reasons, but there can be indications where running is necessary. To do so to be first in line at the mess hall isn’t one of them.” He smiled at her.

“Do I have to address everyone by their title?”

He stopped and his face registered puzzlement. “You begin by addressing senior officers by their titles and they’ll let you know what they prefer. Most of us are on a first name basis. Several refer to each other by surname only. Each relationship has it’s own rules. I really must speak with Danse. He’s confusing you unnecessarily.”

They passed the medical bay.

“Our vault dweller has come home,” Cade said kindly, stopping his lab work to speak with her. “I see that your time on the ground did you good!”

Guinevere nodded. “Thanks Dr. Cade. It was wonderful to see my family.”

He gave them the salute and went about his work.

Maxson smiled at Guinevere. “I see you developed your own title for Roger. I think he likes it.”

Guinevere was enthralled with the arboretum area. There were all sorts of plants. Some were for food, others were being developed for pleasure as part of the Proctor’s side project.

“I could use help around here,” said Proctor Liz Franklin.

“Excellent,” said Maxson. “Guinevere, I’d like to see you at 1700 hours in my ready room.”

“Yes, Elder sir,” she said.

“Guinevere,” he said looking at her like an errant child for being formal with him.

“But...you’re my commanding officer,” she stammered. “And we’re with others…”

She didn’t want awkwardness to mar her new relationship with Proctor Franklin.

Maxson continued to gaze at her expectantly, a slight smile on his lips.

“Ok, Arthur,” she said meekly.

He nodded in approval. “Enjoy yourself here.”

After he’d walked away, Liz watched her with amusement.

“So you’re the vault dweller that the Elder is crazy about,” said Liz. “You don’t seem to share his feelings. How come? He’s a great man!”

“He’s my superior,” she said. “It’s awkward.”

“Oh  _ that’s _ right, you’re under Danse. Firstly there’s no rules about relationships here. As long as it doesn’t interfere with your duties it’s all good. Danse gives everyone a hard time about protocols and most of them are just things he  _ thinks _ should be done. If you like the Elder, don’t break his heart. He’s been alone his whole life.”

Guinevere liked Liz. She seemed easy going. “The other Knights don’t like me because of Arthur’s attention.”

“Oh those Knights always have a stick up their butts. Always competing with one another for accolades. Since the Elder is at the head of that branch, they are insufferable with their bid for attention. Knights act up towards all newcomers and you walked in here and pretty much took over.”

“What? No I didn’t!”

Liz laughed and gave her a watering hose, pointing to a clump of mutfruit trees.

“Oh yes you did. You walked in with your pretty face and big smile and wrapped Elder Maxson around your finger. That’ll make anyone green with envy. Knights are the most competitive. We scribes are more interested in knowledge than power.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose.”

“That doesn’t matter, Guinevere. He took one look at you and boom. It rankled people. Don’t let it get you down. Just find your tribe. My vote is the Scribes. We’re the best. Lancers aren’t bad. Those flyboys can be a lot of fun at a party too.”

Guinevere grinned and got to work.

She split her time that day between Liz and Martin. She didn’t see hide nor hair of Danse and when 1700 hours arrived she went to Maxson’s ready room.

He had a meal laid out on the table and was sipping some wine while reading a missive.

“There you are my dear. Come, let’s have dinner. You can tell me about your day.”

She sighed and walked in, leaving the door open, but Maxson asked her to close it.  He poured her some wine.

“So, how did it go?”

“It was fun, I liked it,” she said honestly.

“I knew you would. While you were on leave, Danse and a team eradicated a settlement of ghouls. Successful mission. You should be proud of him.”

She nearly choked on her wine. “Ferals?”

“No, ghouls.”

“But...why? Were they a threat?”

He nodded. “Of course. You are aware that any ghoul can go feral at any time? They must be destroyed when found. They had some tech but nothing major.”

She was shocked at his nonchalance about a whole town of people being destroyed. 

“Any human can suddenly decide to become a raider too!”

“We put those down as well when we find them. They are dishonorable, and you’re right. However we must protect the Commonwealth and purify it.”

“But...you’re killing ghouls before they turn. At least with raiders you wait until they’ve made their choice.”

“Those filthy ghouls are far more of a threat than any raider.”

She stared at her plate and moved the food around on it. “D...Danse led this mission?”

Maxson nodded. “Of course. He’s the best field officer there is on the Prydwen. He did well. No Brotherhood casualties.”

There was sorrow in her eyes as she looked up at him. “They were innocent people...murdered for no reason...ghouls aren’t monsters!”

He reached out and took her hand. “My sensitive Queen. It may take time but you’ll see that we’re right.”

He picked up the missive. “You can read about the mission here. Danse is very concise in his reports. I’m sure he’ll be quite interested to share the details with you when you see him.”

She didn’t even want to think of the details of such a massacre, and stared at the paper. There were the team member names, and their designations. There were other numbers as well and she questioned him about it.

“Those are the radio frequencies we use to communicate with the teams while they’re out there.”

“But couldn’t someone intercept the transmissions and know where the attacks were happening? Isn’t that dangerous?”

Maxson shook his head. “They would need to know the frequencies, and if someone did hear it, they’d have to understand the codes.”

Guinevere was suddenly interested. “Codes? I don’t understand.”

Maxson was pleased at her sudden interest. “Every location in the Commonwealth has a code word. Each mission has a string of code that tells where and when the infiltration will happen. Right down to the type of attack and ordnance required. See that there?” he pointed to the top of the page. “It’s a very secure way to handle the missions. Don’t worry Guinevere. I assure you that Danse is quite safe.”

_ It isn’t Danse I’m concerned with. It’s all the innocent non humans out there reduced to numbers on a paper. _

“Our campaign,” said Maxson proudly. “Has started off with great success. Not long ago We took back a building which was filled with disgusting synths masquerading as humans.”

Guinevere remembered that horrible story. She couldn’t believe it. All these people did, day in day out was destroy.

And Danse had participated in the slaughters, knowing how she felt about hate and intolerance. Those poor ghouls and synths...destroyed because a zealot said so. And Danse, blindly following those orders without a thought.

Maxson began talking about other campaigns in the capital wastes, but Guinevere didn’t hear a word of it. She was trying to figure out if she’d really known Danse at all. If she’d just seen what she wanted and hoped to see and had blinded herself to the truth.

The deep love she’d felt for him had been fading since the arrival of the Prydwen. She could forgive his absence in her life due to reconnecting with the Brotherhood, but what he was doing on those missions was unforgivable.

Her mind started churning.  _ Codes. Lines of codes that told every detail of every mission. _

“When we get intel, do the ones who find it have to fill out reports about it or do they just tell someone, like you?”

Maxson nodded. “Everything is written. Stephen...Proctor Quinlan...keeps all the intel in his office. He reviews each report and if it seems worthy to follow up he let’s me know. Then I pass it on to the Knight-Captains, and if it’s high profile enough I send Danse.”

She was eager to learn more. Her heart was racing. She’d found a way to help the people of the Commonwealth, and a way to protect the Railroad. But she couldn’t let Maxson see her eagerness.

Coyly she tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled at him. “It all sounds so complicated,” she said. “Taking care of the plants is so much nicer.”

He patted her hand. “Guinevere you have such little faith in yourself. You could learn the code as well. It would enable you to read the missions.”

_ Yes yes yes!  _ She thought.

“Oh I don’t think I’ve a mind for that, Arthur.”

“Nonsense,” he said. “I’ll teach you myself. Everyone here learns at least some of it.”

She gave her sweetest smile. “If you think so, I’ll give it a try. But I’m not too hopeful.”

She ate her dinner, wanting to find Danse and confront him about the slaughter of the ghouls. She tried to think up scenarios where he wasn’t responsible for the carnage.

There were none.

* * *

Guinevere found him in his quarters. She ignored his protests, walked in, and closed the door.

“Tell me you didn’t murder a village of innocent ghouls!”

He sat back and pushed his paperwork aside. “I was carrying out my orders Guinevere. They were deemed a threat and had to be eliminated.”

“I read the report. You rounded up a few nonsense items. Nothing remotely threatening. They were peaceful settlers!”

He sighed. “Not every ghoul is your friend, Guinevere. A ghoul is a ghoul. They will all become feral eventually. Best to destroy them before they can harm anyone.”

She put her hands on his shoulders and leaned into him. “Are you hearing yourself Eric? You’re killing people on the off chance they  _ might _ turn! This means you’d need to kill everyone in the world because at any time they could become something you’ve decided is unworthy to live! You’re committing murder!”

Danse looked at her impassively. “Your conduct as of late leaves much to be desired. Your insubordination, your irreverence for protocol and overall disdain for our mandate leaves me wondering if this is the right place for you.”

Guinevere stared at him in shock. “Who are you? You aren’t  _ my _ Eric, the man I loved. He was considerate, gentle and kind. He was fun and did his best to make me happy. You are the complete opposite. You’re like two different people and worst of all you justify cold blooded murder of innocent people!”

Guinevere pushed herself from him and stalked to the other side of the room and sat on his bed.

“I’m doing what needs to be done for the Commonwealth,” he said. “I’m following my orders. That’s what being in the military is about Guinevere, something I thought you’d picked up.  I’m sure the people Nate and your father killed also thought themselves innocent.”

Guinevere shook her head. “Don’t you  _ dare _ compare my family to this hellhole! They fought  _ soldiers _ . Soldiers with armor and weapons who fought back. Not innocent civilians trying to survive. I can’t believe you’re justifying what you’ve done!”

He looked at her, his expression unreadable. That seemed to be his permanent state lately.

“I’m sitting here, on your bed, upset...and you haven’t once tried to comfort me,” she pointed out. 

“I’ve asked to talk to you about Shaun since I killed Kellogg. Another time that you weren’t there when I needed you. We promised each other we’d work things out when it got rough. You haven’t honored that promise and it hurts me. Your constant picking at me and rejection of me hurts me too.”

He got up, poured himself some water, drank it, then walked over and sat beside her. “What is it you want, Guinevere?” he asked.

“Are you seriously asking me that? I just told you. I need  _ you.  _ I need your love, and for you to be the way you were when we first got together.”

His eyes held no softness as he looked at her. “I feel as though  _ you’re _ the one who’s changed, Guinevere,” he said in a quiet tone.

“Tell me how, Eric.”

He turned his gaze from her to stare at the wall. “I believe I already detailed the issues I have with you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes. All of them things relating to this place and the Brotherhood. How have I changed as a person, as your partner?”

“You don’t take anything seriously,” he said.

“I never have!” she cried. “I’ve always been playful and friendly. You used to like that about me. Now it’s a problem for you?” 

Guinevere felt slightly ill. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go between them.

Danse affixed her with a stern gaze. “There’s the Brotherhood, and there’s everything else. There is no in between.”

She blinked. “What does that even mean? Eric, I don’t give a damn about the Brotherhood. I want to know how we can fix our relationship. I’ve been the one trying. You’ve been the one dismissing it.”

He got up and went back to the table. She sighed sadly. “I love you very much. I thought we were planning a life together. I can’t make this work on my own. You need to want it to work too, and I don’t think you do.”

Danse gazed at her like he would any other soldier. There was no softness in his eyes anymore, no familiarity in his tone. She took a deep breath.

“I don’t want your sponsorship anymore,” she said. “Being a Knight isn’t for me. They can’t stand me and the feeling is mutual. I’m going to ask Maxson to make me a Scribe or a Lancer.” 

She watched him carefully for any emotional reaction. She saw none and her heart sank. He’d made his decision about her.

“Say it, Danse,” she said. “I need to hear you say the words.”

Danse said nothing for a long moment, then pulled a folder closer. “I’ll note your transfer request in the log. Was there anything else, Knight?”

Tears filled her eyes. “I believed there was a heart under all that steel somewhere but now I see I’m wrong. You’re not the man I thought you were. Say it Danse. Say that you don’t want me anymore.”

“You are behaving irrationally Guinevere. It’s you who wishes to end our partnership.”

She wiped the tears from her cheeks. “I think you and I never spoke the same language. I was just a distraction for you wasn’t I.”

Guinevere walked past him and out into the hallway without a backward glance. She’d felt this day coming for a long time, but now that it had arrived she felt deeply saddened just the same. She had wanted to hear him say the words, so she could shut the door on the whole thing. But as usual he ignored her request and she had to give herself the closure she needed.

Guinevere felt like a failure. Had she failed to try hard enough to please him? Failed to be the partner he needed her to be?

_ But love is supposed to go both ways. Eric neglected to take care of my needs too.  _

She finally admitted that she couldn’t love Eric Danse any longer. A man who would wantonly murder a whole village of innocent people wasn’t someone she cared to spend the rest of her life with.

But she couldn’t leave the Brotherhood just yet and she couldn’t display her disdain for them. There was intel to collect and lives to save. Until her own mission was accomplished she’d have to play along with them and their vile ways.

Her friends had been right all along. And she’d been blinded by love and desperate to end her loneliness. She would have to find a way to get Deacon to trust her again, to see her as the ally and friend she’d always been. 

Guinevere never wanted the Brotherhood to get the upper hand again. Not if she had any say in it.

She wanted to curl up in RJ’s arms and be comforted. She wanted her family. Instead she was trapped hundreds of feet above the ground, with no one she could talk to about her situation.

She stood on the observation deck, looking through the windows. It was the only place not filled with soldiers.

Tears rolled down her cheeks and the view became blurred. She sobbed quietly, wondering why she hadn’t just gone to her room. But the feeling of isolation she already had would have been worsened in a little room surrounded by cold metal walls.

Maybe Amanda was somewhere nearby.

Her friend was in the med bay refilling her field kit. Guinevere’s face must have told the story of her emotions because Amanda immediately went to her and drew her into the room.

“Guin, what’s wrong? You look like your best friend just died! RJ’s ok isn’t he?”

Guinevere nodded. “I guess he is. I don’t really know what happens at home when I’m here. But…Eric and I...well...it’s over.” She blinked and tears dripped onto her cheek.

Amanda made a comforting sound and hugged her tight. “I’m so sorry! I know you loved him. And he loved you too. What happened?”

Guinevere did her best to describe how she felt he’d changed, and how he hadn’t believed her when she told him about Maxson’s advances.

Amanda looked pensive. “You know you aren’t the only one who’s noticed a change in him.” She walked to a computer and logged in. She opened a set of files.

“In all his time with the Brotherhood, Paladin Danse has never had any health issues. He’s the pinnacle of health. But then after this one mission here…” She pointed to a line of code. 

“He complained of headaches, trouble sleeping and brain fog. Cade gave him some pain killers and told him to try and relax, not to overwork himself.”

Guinevere read the medical report. “What mission was it?”

“For that we need Quinlan’s computer and he’s locked his room for the night. The only other place is the Elder’s terminal and I know how you feel about  _ him _ .”

Guinevere wanted to know about the mission. Maybe it would help shed some light on Danse’s behavior.

“What’s the file number? I’ll go and ask to see it. Knowing Maxson he’ll let me have it with a song and a dance too.”

* * *

“To what do I owe this second pleasure of the evening?” Maxson asked when he opened his door.

“I’d like to read a mission report, if that’s ok?”

The Elder was dressed down, wearing fatigues with a simple black shirt, much as he had the day they went in his vertibird.

“Of course my dear. Your interest pleases me.” He stepped aside for her to enter and led her to his personal computer bank. She gave him the mission number and he called it up.

“Ah yes. I remember this one. Intel gave us a building with a large amount of fusion cores. Slight raider activity, nothing more. As you can see, the place was overrun with synths. The repulsive constructs were running amok.”

Guinevere leaned over his shoulder to read it. He turned his head slightly, his lips inches from her face. His hand rested on the keyboard, and as she came to the end of the page, she pressed his finger down on the advance key and continued reading. A line of code preceeded the following section.

“What does this code mean?” she asked.

“That what follows is a personal addendum by one of the other team members. See their designation here, then the code line that identifies it as a separate account of a single incident that happened there.”

Guinevere was riveted.

_ 0900h - Floor integrity was in question. Danse advised to proceed with caution. Floor gave way in two sections. Danse and Smith fell through into different areas. Were told to proceed as planned and they’d catch up with us.  _

_ 1100h - joined with Smith. No sign of Danse. _

_ 1300h - Synth activity ceased. No explanation. _

_ 1500h - Located fusion cores. See retrieval log 67TY. Also random tech.  _

_ 1700h - Located Danse. Seemed confused. Asked about Knight Stanton. Specifically who said Knight was. Smith examined Danse for possible cranial trauma. Recommend examination by CMO Cade. _

There was even more. Two other team members added their comments several days after the mission report was filed by Danse. Both reported that he seemed confused. She needed to go back and see if Cade filed his assessments.

She stood up. “Thank you,” she said.

“Mhm,” said Maxson. “Why the interest in this mission in particular? It was carried out a few days after your initial arrival here. Danse didn’t take you because your suit hadn’t been completed yet.”

Guinevere took a deep breath. “Could I ask you something Arthur? Confidentially?”

He raised his eyebrows. “Of course you may. I’d like to invite you to my private quarters. Just through the doors there.” 

He stood and she followed him. Going to his private room didn’t excite her in the least, but she wanted to talk to him about Danse.

Maxson’s quarters were comfortable, much like he’d made hers. She sat on a lounge and he pulled up a chair in front of her.

“Ever since the Prydwen arrived, Eric’s been growing more distant from me. He stopped taking me on missions, stopped training with me, and the quality of our relationship has deteriorated.”

Maxson nodded and watched her, saying nothing.

“The Knights here don’t like me. I know that sounds like I’m being a whiny schoolgirl but I’ve not made any friends among them and they exclude me from every activity. On the flipside, I’ve been spending all my time with Proctors and Scribes. Every friend I have here is from that division. I…” she paused and sighed. 

“I read that mission report because I’m trying to understand why things went south between me and Eric. We were so close before. I thought maybe there’d be a clue there. But it doesn’t even matter. Whatever changed him, we aren’t friends anymore.”

Maxson moved over beside her and placed an arm around her shoulders. “I’ve seen how downhearted you’ve become. We did talk about your feelings for Eric. I’m sorry that he disappointed you. He’s done that to many hopeful females in the past. Mind you he never paid any of them the attention he paid you.”

She fiddled with her sleeves. “Please remove my sponsorship, Arthur.”

He fixed his intense eyes on her. “Have you thought it through? Are you sure this is what you want? Scribes see very little field action. You won’t be there to destroy abominations!”

It sounded too good to her already.

“I can be just as effective elsewhere. Besides. I hate power armor.”

Maxson gave her a squeeze and stood up. “I’ll grant your request, Guinevere. Your designation will change to SA-610S. Have you discussed this with Eric?”

“Yes.”

“And what was his response?” asked Maxson.

“He didn’t react. Just said he’d note it down in his log.”

The Elder searched her face. He could see the sorrow in her eyes, and the redness and tracks of tears were still visible. It seemed that her feelings for Danse had run deeper than he’d thought.

He felt compassion for her, but at the same time it removed an obstacle from him and his interest in her.

“I need to assign you to someone,” he said, bringing his focus back to the present.

Guinevere thought where she could have access to the most information. The answer was clear: Maxson. But she didn’t need to be in that branch of the Brotherhood to get anything from him.

“Liz,” she answered quickly. 

He shook his head. “Liz has asked not to be in charge of anyone. She prefers her plants and doesn’t venture far from them. I’ll put you with Martin. He enjoys your company and I think it would be good for you to at least see others from time to time.”

Guinevere agreed. 

Maxson turned back to the computer. “You can still work in the arboretum. I’ll have Liz fill out her request for a schedule with you and Martin can figure out the rest. I’m glad you are choosing to stay with us rather than leave, Guinevere. It would be less bright here without you.”

He typed something up for a few minutes, then looked over at her. “Ad Victorium, Scribe Stanton.”

She grinned at him. “Thank you, Arthur.”

He nodded and stood up, holding out his hands to her. “I’d like to see a bit more progress in  _ our  _ relationship Guinevere.”

_ Oh great,  _ she thought.  _ Now he thinks I owe him a favor for helping me. I don’t want this! _

“Please understand,” she said as sweetly as she could, forcing herself to take his hands. “I’m flattered by your attention, I really am. But I can’t just get over Nate. And having thought that Danse could care for me, when the opposite was true...I’m just quite confused and need time.”

Maxson nodded. “I do understand. Will you at least agree to fly with me from time to time?”

She nodded. “Of course. I’m just not ready for anything deeper.”

Guinevere was perfectly cognizant of the fact that in order to remain in his good graces, and have access to what she needed, she’d have to give him  _ some _ attention from time to time. However, she wanted to keep that as minimal as possible.

She didn’t hate Arthur. In fact, if she’d been of a similar mind, she figured she might have been completely happy with him. He had charisma and charm, and the propensity to be kind and generous. But like all Brotherhood he was a fanatic. The leader of the fanatics. And to her that made him loathesome.

Another week and she’d be going home again. She needed to learn as much as she could about the codes til then, and hope that her heart would mend itself.   
  



	25. At Long Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere returns home and tells RJ her relationship with Danse is over but she never expects what he does!

* * *

RJ stared at Guinevere. “You...you mean it Guinny? You and tinman are history?”

She nodded.

“I want to jump for joy,” he said. “But you must be feeling like hell. I’m sorry Guinny.”

She sighed, long and deep. “This situation started the day the Prydwen came to the Commonwealth. He changed, RJ. It’s like he became two different people. And I was being forced to live two separate lives. I just couldn’t do it anymore. And...the things he _did_...”

RJ carefully took her in his arms and held her, feeling her body pressed against his, her soft hair against his cheek.

She lifted her head and looked into those eyes she loved so much.

“I would have waited forever for this day,” RJ said softly. His lips met hers, and she hesitantly responded, feeling a warmth flood her body. She felt instantly comforted and loved and protected.

She hated to think that she could have lost RJ forever. But like he’d promised, he’d always been there, waiting, believing that she’d see the light. 

“Guinevere,” RJ said breathlessly, drawing back only far enough to speak. “Marry me.”

Surprised, she blinked. “What?”

“You heard me, beautiful. The day you said you loved me was the greatest day of my life. Now I want an encore. Say you’ll marry me. For real this time.”

Guinevere looked shocked and backed away, right into the car. “RJ, I...I don’t know…”

He looked crestfallen. “But you just said you and tinman were done...I thought when that happened we’d be together…didn’t you end it because you loved  _ me _ ?”

Guinevere pressed the back of her hand to her lips. Tears filled her eyes and her emotions were a whirlwind of confusion. She shook her head to clear it, to try and focus.

RJ looked devastated. “Please Guinny...please don’t say no.”

Guinevere looked shell shocked. Everything was happening so fast. She’d planned on RJ being thrilled, but certainly hadn’t expected a marriage proposal.

She felt suddenly queasy.

Hancock, who’d been watching them from beneath a tree looked concerned. “Sunshine? You ok? You don’t look too good.”

Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, and she got a strange case of vertigo. Guinevere covered her face with her hands and stood there, unmoving, leaning against the unfinished car.

RJ picked her up carefully and carried her off, setting her down on the bench beside the diner. He knelt down in front of her.

“Guinny? Hey...I’m sorry if I freaked you out. I’m just off my nut with excitement. You know me. Can’t control myself sometimes!”

Hancock lay a hand on MacCready’s shoulder. “Let’s give her a few minutes.  A lot has happened. Where’s that bot?”

He called for Codsworth and had the robot bring her some lemonade. Then he walked MacCready to the garage.

“Son, I don’t think she’s ready for this.”

“What are you talking about? She loves me! You know she does!”

The ghoul nodded. “Yeah, she loves you. That doesn’t mean she’s ready to marry you. At least not right now. She’s coming off a break up. No matter what you and I think of it, it’s gotta be rough on her. She needs time MacCready.”

RJ looked miserable. “Right. Time. So she can decide to run back to him? Or worse, go with that other jackhole up there.”

Hancock lit a cigarette. “You think saying a few words in front of some guy would stop it from happening if she wanted to do that? You know better than to think that of her. Come on, give your head a shake. She’s gotta be sure about everything. And she’s not. She’s a hot mess right now.”

RJ kicked Dogmeat’s deflated ball. It flew out into the yard and hit a tree. The dog gleefully went after it, picking it up and giving it a few good shakes before dropping it at RJ’s feet with a hopeful whine.

“Don’t force such a huge decision on her right now,”said Hancock. “If you really believe you’re meant to be than you can wait until she’s ready, you feel me?”

“Yeah,” said RJ. He’d been excited and over the moon by Guinevere’s news that she’d ended her relationship with Danse. But she had hesitated on accepting his proposal, and RJ was scared. Terrified. Of losing the one thing he loved most in the world. Again.

He wandered up the yard to the little table and chairs Guinevere had set up for her and Danse to have those romantic dinners that she loved.

_ Maybe I need to do that for her too. Show her I’m just as good as tinman, and probably better. Yeah I’m definitely better than that guy. _

“RJ?” Guinevere’s voice was shaky.

He turned around and saw that her eyes were swollen and red from crying, but she was still so beautiful and his heart ached. He held out his arms for her, and was relieved when she nestled into them.

“I love you so much” she said softly.

“I love you too Guinny,” he responded, kissing her head.

“I loved Eric too. I hope you understand that, and that what happened hurts. I thought we were planning a life together. I kept believing that he’d come around, but he got more distant. Then I found out he’d been part of some terrible missions that murdered a lot of innocent people. I feel so stupid RJ,” she began to cry again.

“No way Guinny. You aren’t stupid. That asshole is stupid. He had the best thing anyone could ever have and he let it go.”

Guinevere couldn’t take any comfort from that. She didn’t feel like the best anything. “I just wanted love and a family again like I had. I was sure he was the one. I was so wrong. What if I’m wrong again? What if I marry you and it’s the worst mistake of my life?”

RJ lifted her chin. “Look at me Guinny. We’re perfect together. Me and you. Team awesome remember? It’s always been us. Always.”

She hiccupped and wiped her eyes, then wrapped her arms around him again. It was true. It  _ had  _ been the two of them for a long time. Always together, always affectionate, always an unspoken love between them.

“I don’t think we needed to say the words Guinny,” said RJ softly. “I believe we always had this love from the first day. It just wasn’t right in our face so we didn’t see it. I want to marry you...but I’ll wait until you’re ready.”

“I couldn't ever say no to you...but…”

RJ’s face lit up and he looked down at her. “So that’s a yes? You’ll marry me?”

She nodded, tears in her eyes. 

RJ let out a whoop of joy and raised his hands in the air. “Yeah! This guy is officially off the market!”

He spun her around, then held her close, kissing her. 

Hancock, who’d been smoking a cigarette nearby, wandered closer. “You’ve been off the market since you met this little doll,” he said. Embracing them both, Hancock congratulated them.

“So can we do this now, like today?” asked RJ hopefully. “You gotta be my wife by tonight.”

“MacCready!” exclaimed Hancock, cuffing him on the back of the head. “What did we just talk about?”

RJ waved him away. “You’re ancient. Probably immortal. Not me. I’m aging out here. Need to marry my dream girl before I turn grey.”

“Sunshine,” said Hancock. “You don’t have to rush this. If you want to wait, then say so. Don’t let this little hothead push you into anything.”

Guinevere smiled at him and wiped her eyes. “I know John and I wouldn't. But I think it’s always been about me and RJ. Doing this just feels...right.”

She turned to look at RJ.

“I want to marry you,” she said. “But there are some serious issues we need to discuss first. You need to be ok with everything I’m going to tell you before we can be married or anything else. You might not like it. In fact, you’ll hate it. But...come on let’s go inside.”

He held her hand and wouldn’t let go. She had promised herself to him now. Nothing else mattered.

She took Hancock’s arm and he sauntered along with them, wondering what was going on. He hoped she and RJ would tie the knot. He’d always hoped it. But he also knew it wasn’t the kind of thing that should be rushed.

Guinevere took a big breath as they sat down at the table. “I have access to information that could make a huge difference to all non humans here. Maxson is teaching me the code…”

She told them everything that happened on board the Prydwen. The good, the bad and the ugly.

“I need you to find Deacon, RJ. Ever since that massacre I’ve been worried to death about him. He’s a high end operative. The Brotherhood is gunning for him.”

RJ whistled under his breath. “This is some heavy shit, Guinny.”

“And a dangerous game to play, sunshine,” added Hancock.

“I don’t know how long I can do it,” said Guinevere. “Maxson has tunnel vision in regards to me and I’ll have access to everything he does. But it can’t go on forever. I just need to get enough intel to cripple them. Then I’m out of there for good.”

“Wish you could get out now and forget about it,” said RJ.

“Me too. But if I do, who’ll help the people here? Who’ll protect Deacon and the Railroad and all the ghouls?” 

RJ and Hancock were quiet. They couldn’t see any other way. But they worried for her safety.

“What about Amanda?” asked Hancock. “Think she’ll want to get out too?”

Guinevere shrugged. “I really can’t say, John. I know she’s never been 100% in agreement with the Brotherhood but I don’t know if she’d want to leave.”

The ghoul nodded. “I hear ya. I like the kid. She’s got spunk, like you. She’d fit in here with us pretty good though.”

Guinevere smiled. “She would. And maybe this is a good opportunity for her to try something new. I’ll get a feel for her thoughts when I go back. Ok?”

Hancock nodded.

Guinevere turned to RJ. “I know I ended it with Danse. But Maxson’s a different case. He’s been pretty clear about his feelings about me and I’ve been keeping him at bay. But I might have to give him  _ something _ in the way of encouragement, to stay in his good graces. I’m aiming for just the occasional kiss or two. I’m willing to suck it up for the cause.”

RJ wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her affectionately. “I hate it that you gotta deal with those jackholes but Deacon will be mental over that info when you get it.”

“We need an advantage over the Brotherhood,” said Hancock. “I heard about that ghoul settlement. A lot of them were people who managed to survive being thrown out of DC. I was pretty upset Sunshine.”

“Same with me," said Guinevere. "It was actually  _ that  _ mission that made me realize I wanted out of there. The fact Danse justified it...if not for Maxson showing me those codes I was walking out of there that day and never coming back.”

RJ squeezed her tighter. “I know you had high hopes Guinny-veer,” he said softly.  “But you know, we can rebuild the world ourselves. Everyone wants a better life. Yeah it’ll take past our lifetime but we can start it. And we’ll find the Institute too. You don’t need those metal mountains. What have they done for you so far? Besides tinman shooting off his mouth about it.”

She leaned into him. “Nothing so far. The Railroad and the Minutemen can both use this information. Just think, if an attack is imminent, the Castle can send help too. I think the codename for the Castle is Echo 1. Sanctuary is Mango.”

RJ laughed. “Who thinks up this crap?”

“The Proctors," said Guinevere. "They’re the braintrust up there, but it’s just random words. They’ve been nice to me, that’s why I switched to them. The Lancers, who are the pilots, they’re pretty cool too. The Knights however...they’re like the school bullies.”

RJ snorted. “Yeah like that jarhead Rhys. Little pussy nearly pissed himself when I beat his ass. All mouth. Can’t stand those guys.”

Guinevere extricated herself from RJ’s embrace. She kissed him softly, then sat back and looked directly at him.

“So we’ve talked a lot about things just now. RJ, I need to know if you want me to tell you everything that happens between me and Maxson, or if you want me to just keep it to myself.”

His eyes gazed into hers, full of love and tenderness. “You mean like...if you…” he couldn’t bring himself to say the words.

“Yes RJ, anything that happens.”

He picked at his jacket, traced shapes on the table with his fingers, and shifted a few times. Guinevere stroked the back of his head. He finally turned to her.

“Yeah. I want to know. Guinny I don’t want there to be a single thing between us secret or unsaid. Even if it hurts. Ok? We can promise that right?”

She nodded. “Yes. I promise I’ll never keep anything from you.”

“You’re my love, Guinny," said RJ softly. "It makes me sick to think of anyone else touching you or...anything else.” RJ looked completely miserable. 

Guinevere pulled him into her arms and held him gently, playing with his hair.

“I’m sorry RJ. I know this is awful. It’s why I wanted to talk to you about all this first. None of it will be easy on anyone here. But do you agree it’s worth it, for the Commonwealth?”

RJ sighed and sat up, giving her a kiss. “Yeah it’s worth it.”

Guinevere reached one hand out to Hancock and the other held onto RJ. “It’s going to get intense from now on. I’ll be under stress with my project. We have to promise each other that communication will stay strong. Trusting anyone except Deacon right now isn’t a good idea. Going forward we’re going to have to take risks but for now it’s just the three of us ok?”

Hancock squeezed her hand. “You got it Sunshine.”

RJ kissed her ear. “You know it beautiful.”

They sat in silence. Each one of them considering how things were going to be. 

“Alright,” said RJ softly. “I’m sitting here twitching because I really want to marry you Guinny. Like right now.”

Guinevere laughed lightly. “Don’t you want to wait and have a big wedding with all our friends?”

He shook his head. “No, now! We can have a different one later. Please, Guinevere. I want you to be Mrs. MacCready so bad!”

Every bit of him from his eyes to his body language was entreating her. How could she refuse? His love had always strengthened and comforted her. Becoming his wife seemed like the most natural thing in the world.

She thought about their time together and how, from day one, it had already seemed like a marriage. They way they trusted one another, loved each other, missed each other when they were apart...looking back it all seemed so obvious.

“There’s a guy in DC that marries people. Seen him doing that a few times when I’ve been there,” said RJ excitedly.

“The priest across from Piper’s newspaper?” asked Guinevere. She remembered her friend mentioning him.

RJ nodded. “That’s the one!”

“Hmm...Guinevere Hannah MacCready...I’m not sure I like the sound of that,” she teased him.

“I like  _ Guinny _ MacCready,” said Hancock. “Or maybe you’d rather change your mind and marry  _ this  _ fine example of the ghoul species.” He indicated himself with a flourish and a wink.

RJ wadded up a napkin and threw it at him. “As if. My girl’s got good taste. She already chose the best.”

“I dunno,” said Hancock grinning. “Guinny Hancock works for me.”

RJ waved him away and grinned at Guinevere. “I got it! Get this: RJ Stanton.”

“Ha!” she laughed. “That sounds like a member of the Boylston Club!”

“What’s that? Some fancy club from the old world?”

She nodded. “Pretty much. Men’s club for high ranking politicians and such. Remind me to take you there RJ. If the building’s still standing.”

“All I need is a tux then. That’s what guys wore to weddings right? One of those weird kind with the stringy bits at the back!”

“Coat and tails!” cried Guinevere. “I don’t have that but…” she got up and went to her room, digging around in her big vault-tec crate. She pulled up a dark blue suit. 

“I’ve got this suit that I found at Fallon’s ages ago, before any of us met. It was so nice, and oddly it seemed like it wouldn’t fit anyone I knew. But I kept it anyway. I thought to give it to Deacon for his disguises but never did.”

She put it on the table. “It’s silk, and back in my world this suit would have cost quite a bit. It was in a crate buried deep in the ruins. So...you can have it if you want, RJ.”

He touched the fabric and looked up at her. “Be the nicest damn thing I’ve ever worn,” he said softly. “And to marry the girl of my dreams in it would be … well…” he closed his mouth then as words failed him. His eyes grew liquid and shiny.

Guinevere took his face in her hands and kissed him. “I’m going to wear that dress you gave me,” she said. 

He nodded mutely, still disbelieving his good fortune. 

Guinevere took the suit, got her dress and went to place it in her pack.

“Hey Guinny?” called RJ.

“Yes hon?” she responded.

He paused a moment at the endearment. No one in his life had ever called him that before. It warmed him through and through.

“I don’t have a ring for you.” He sounded sorrowful.

“That doesn’t matter to me, and I couldn’t wear it anyway. Not until I leave the Brotherhood. It’s ok RJ.”

She smelled the smoke from one of Hancock’s cigarettes as the mayor got up and searched for his chems. She was aware RJ got up and went to his room.

A few minutes later, he stood in her doorway. “I found this thing awhile ago, I’d like to give it to you. Until I find a ring. And I will.”

She turned around. “RJ you can come in here. This is your room now too. You can bring your stuff in here. It’s not the Prydwen you know, the land of no emotions.”

He laughed and stepped inside, then sat on the bed. She sat beside him and he took her hand, dropping something into it.

It was a silvery pendant, slightly smaller than a silver dollar of old. Etched into it was a butterfly. Tears sprang to her eyes.

“I found this when I was travelling here from the capital wastes,” said RJ.  “Usually I hocked that stuff for a few caps. Couldn’t part with this. Remember that night at the party station there, and you were telling tinman about the old world? When you mentioned butterflies I realized that I found this thing for  _ you _ . So...yeah.”

Guinevere couldn’t believe how beautiful it was. She’d not seen something as delicate and perfect since before the war. She touched it gently then held it out to him. “Would you please put it on me?” she asked shakily.

“Yeah, of course beautiful,” said RJ standing. She held her hair up and he placed the necklace gently around her neck and fastened it.

Guinevere stood up and faced him, her eyes luminous. “Thank you so much RJ, it’s wonderful. I’ll never take it off. It’ll be a reminder of you no matter where I am.”

RJ pulled her to him, his hands at the small of her back. She put her arms around his neck.

“I love you,” he said. “The three best words in the world.”

“Yes,” she whispered back, and her lips closed on his.

Their kiss was tender and filled with longing, a feeling they’d both carried around for quite some time. Now they were free to express it.

Hancock tapped on the door frame. “You two lovebirds start with that and we aren’t gonna make it to DC.”

They both turned to him and laughed. 

Hancock strapped on his gun. “Let’s get this show on the road!”   
  



	26. Orange Colored Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hancock throws a party at Goodneighbor for the MacCreadys; Guinevere has a visitor from the shadows.

 

* * *

The party at Goodneighbor was a crazy good time. Although RJ and Guinevere wanted to be alone, they couldn’t help but be swept up in the jubilance.  

The residents of Goodneighbor were always up for a party, especially when Mayor Hancock was the one throwing it. He was generous, and it was free drinks for everyone. He gave out chems to those who wanted it. Only rule was you had to use them there.

Daisy was beside herself with joy. She hugged both Guinevere and RJ and said that she couldn’t have dreamed up a better love story. When she was introduced to Nick, Daisy was fascinated. Even Nick seemed to enjoy the attention and launched into one of his stories. Soon, the two of them had found a quiet corner to drink and talk.

Magnolia serenaded the happy couple and the patrons screeched and hollered for RJ and Guinevere to dance.

Guinevere was astounded to find out that her husband was a great dancer. It was the last thing she’d ever thought he could or would do! Knowing his life story, she couldn’t imagine how and where he would have learned. It was a conversation they were definitely going to be having in the near future!

Hancock and Magnolia taunted him to take the mic.

“Come on Mac,” said the lounge singer in her deep, sultry voice. “We know how talented you are. I’m sure your pretty wife would be quite enamored!”

“Need more bourbon!” cried RJ. “Gotta have my liquid courage first!”

Whitechapel Charlie placed a bottle on the bar. “The Mayor did say it was an open bar tonight MacCready. Bottoms up!”

RJ hopped up on a bar stool. Guinevere stood in front of him and he kept one arm across her chest.

They watched Magnolia perform another set. Guinevere turned around during the break and RJ pulled her right to him and kissed her. It was a deep and sensuous kiss, filled with the desire each of them was filled with.

The spotlight suddenly landed on them, courtesy of Hancock, and the crowd went wild. Guinevere pulled back, blushing fiercely, and buried her head in his chest.

RJ waved the light away. "Damn ghoul!" He cried laughing.

“I knew there was something special about her the day you met and she paid off your tab,” said Whitechapel Charlie.

RJ blinked. “Huh?”

“Charlie!” cried Guinevere. “He wasn’t ever supposed to know about that! I’d actually forgotten about it.”

“A proper marriage shouldn’t have secrets!” said the bot, floating away before he got himself in any more trouble.

RJ turned Guinevere’s face towards him. “Is that true Guinny? _You_ were the one who paid off my tab? I always thought it was Hancock.”

She gave an awkward smile.  “It wasn’t the day we met. I overheard you and Charlie talking about it that day, but I paid it off the day I hired you.”

“Why? We didn’t even know each other!”

“I liked you,” said Guinevere simply. “I knew what you were, yet you seemed so candid and honest. Your asking price was pretty low RJ.”

He made a face. “It was? I thought it was too high. Got turned down a lot and had to accept lower every time. Figured you’d haggle me to a cap too.”

She shook her head. “I thought I was getting a pretty good deal to be honest. And you looked sad. Your eyes. I felt there was so much there and I felt sorry for you.”

“A pity hire!” he cried. “Only a sweet girl like you could have taken pity on a dirty old merc like me. I was a mess. Everything had been going wrong for...well...forever really.”

She put her arms around his waist and squeezed him. “I know RJ. You’d lost your wife, your son was sick, you couldn’t find the cure, and the Gunners were after you. Of course I didn’t know all that at the time, but I sure felt there was a story behind your beautiful eyes.”

He smiled as he looked down at her. “You think I have beautiful eyes?”

She laughed. “I sure do!”

His expression softened and he placed a tender kiss on her lips. “No one’s ever said something like that about me. Not even Lucy. I know now that we were just kids. Kids having kids and trying to act like we knew it all. Man how did I ever make it this far with that attitude.”

“Ignorance is bliss,” said Guinevere.

RJ held her close to him and rocked her for a long time as Magnolia’s silky voice crooned.

“Wish this day would never end Guinny,” he said. “Best day of my life. I say that a lot! Ever since we met it’s been happening. That says something.”

She kissed him, long and deeply.

Hancock wandered over. “You’re stealing all the air in the room,” he joked.

“Air is overrated,” said RJ. “You’re a ghoul, do you even need to breathe?”

Hancock laughed. “Yeah I do! What you thought ghouls don’t breathe?”

“Kinda,” said RJ.

“We’re not dead,” said Hancock still laughing. “So you gonna go up there? Show Sunshine that other side of ya?”

RJ finished up his bottle of bourbon, which the bartender bot quickly replaced. He looked at Guinevere, his heart flooding with adoration. “Yeah, I guess so.”

For the most part, he wanted to impress her. But there was that other part who’d  heard the story of how Danse had sang to her at Fairfax, and RJ MacCready wanted nothing more than to undo that memory in her mind and replace it.

Hancock wandered to the little stage and picked up the mic Magnolia had left on her stool.

“Alright you guys and ghouls and everything inbetween! How ya liking the party?”

The crowd cheered, and began chanting his name. He laughed and held his hands up to calm them down.

“Well today’s a special day for my two best pals. Boys, ain’t none of ya ever had a chance with Guinny here, but ladies, old MacCready is officially off the market. Now having said that...this spectacular piece of ghoul flesh you see before you is still available!” He held his arms out and let them laugh and cheer.

“Anyway got a special treat tonight. Some of ya’ve seen this boy in action here before. So let’s give it up for MacCready!”

RJ gave Guinevere a kiss and she giggled. He hugged Hancock, took the mic and turned to the band. Magnolia usually sang with holotapes, but on weekends a few guys got together with their old world instruments for an added bonus. It brought more patrons to The Third Rail and Hancock and Charlie loved it.

Piper went and stood with Guinevere. “Did you know he did this?” she asked.

Guinevere shook her head. “Oh he’s always singing, but I had no idea he ever let anyone hear him on _this_ scale,” she said. “He’s got his little mysteries I guess and I love it!”

“I’m so happy for you Blue,” said Piper, using her special nickname for Guinevere. “Out of everyone I know, you deserve some happiness. I really think you made the right choice in RJ. Tell him I’ll smack him with a rolled up newspaper if he treats you bad!”

Guinevere laughed.

RJ fixed his gaze on Guinevere and started singing. “I was walking along, mindin’ my business, when out of an orange colored sky…”

He gestured dramatically and kicked a leg out. “Crash, bam, alakazam! Wonderful you came by…”

Guinevere laughed and clapped her hands with glee. She had no idea that he was that much of a showman. She had expected him to stand there and just sing...but what she got was a whole other experience.

“Holy shit the little guy’s good!” cried Piper laughing. “Why’s he a merc, he needs to be on stage!”

Guinevere grinned. “In the old world he probably would’ve been a lounge singer on a cruise ship or something.”

“A cruise ship? What’s that?”

“Oh, a huge boat thing that just sailed around on the ocean. Like a floating city. Bigger than DC.”

Piper’s eyes lit up. “People lived on floating cities? That’s awesome!”

“No one lived on it really, aside from the ones that worked on it, but people just got on them to explore other places for a holiday. The ships would dock in different countries.”

“Wow, the old world was so cool. I wish I had lived then!”

Guinevere shook her head. “No you don’t. Because then you would miss it. Like I do. Everyday.”

“I’m sorry, Blue. I didn’t think about that part.”

They watched RJ strut around and make a spectacle of himself, thoroughly enjoying his little song. He’d make eye contact with Guinevere each time it mentioned the word _you._

“Well one look and I yelled timber!” sang RJ. “Watch out for flying glass! Cause the ceiling fell in and the bottom fell out, I went into a spin and I started to shout I’ve been hit, this is it, this is it, I’ve been hit!”

Guinevere squealed and clapped her hands as RJ spun around dramatically with his hands in the air.

“Yep he missed his calling,” said Piper.

“What do ya think Sunshine?” asked Hancock.

“I had _no_ idea he was this great,” said Guinevere appreciatively.

Piper grinned. “ _You_ should go sing to him Guin! Bet he’d love that!”

Guinevere shook her head. “I don’t do that. I’m not good and I just sing when I’m by myself.”

She remembered that one awful day that she sang to Danse and broke RJ’s heart. She shoved that memory away.

The roaring of the crowd as RJ finished his song snapped her out of her thoughts. He returned to her despite the chants of _more more more!_

Guinevere threw her arms around him. “You’re full of surprises! That was amazing! RJ I had _no_ idea you were a performer!”

“Only when I’m tanked on liquor! Or with you. It means the world to me to hear you say you liked it.”

“What started all this?” asked Piper.

“Found some old holotapes when I was a kid,” said RJ. “Old house I found with a basement that was all caved in. The bigger guys made me crawl into the hole. I found the tapes and kept them. It was full of vids of these people singing and dancing. Just sorta grew on me.”

“Sure, son,” said Hancock. “Ya figured out the ladies liked a showman is what it was.”

RJ laughed. “That too!”

“Mystery solved,” said Guinevere. “After our dance I was wondering how you learned to do _that_ so well. Now I know. Yay for vids!”

“I wonder what else we could learn from vids if we ever find any,” mused Piper. “They’re pretty rare to find intact anymore.”

Guinevere and RJ held one another for a few minutes as Magnolia returned to her stage.

“You two can head over to the Rexford when you’re done here,” said Hancock. “Room’s on me of course. Not the pinnacle of luxury but shit, what the hell else is anymore these days?”

Piper grinned and elbowed the mayor. “I don’t think they’ll notice the room that much!”

Guinevere blushed and gaped at her friend. “Piper!”

“What? Don’t say it isn’t true!”

Guinevere buried her face in RJ’s chest. RJ drank his bourbon and after a few minutes Guinevere decided she had to go to the bathroom.

She walked down the corridor humming to herself, when suddenly someone grabbed her from behind and dragged her into a dark alcove.

Terrified, she struggled and tried to scream but a hand clamped over her mouth.

“Shh! Guin, it’s ok, its me! Don’t scream!”

She spun around as they let go.

“Deacon?!”

He nodded. “Yeah. Sorry about that. Just can’t be out and about like regular folk. Can’t risk anyone seeing me these days. Look I just wanted to say grats to you and Mac.”

Guinevere didn’t process much of what he was saying, she threw her arms around him and hugged him tight.

“Woah girl, what’s this all about?” he asked, surprised.

“You’re alive!” she exclaimed, being as quiet as she could.

“I think I am!” said Deacon, laughing softly.

“I heard about the safehouse. I was terrified they got you. Is Glory and Tony ok? And the others?”

Deacon searched her face in the dim lighting. “We shouldn’t be talking about this,” he said. “We lost Ted, Maura, Reese and Shipley in that attack by your people. Look, I gotta go. Was just wanting to give you and Mac my best wishes.”

He turned to go but Guinevere pulled him back. “Listen to me!” she whispered harshly. “RJ’s supposed to set up a meeting between us. The Brotherhood is _not_ my people. In fact I hate them just as much as you do. The reason I’m still there is because I just found out some serious intel that could help you and the rest of the Commonwealth.”

Deacon stood silently for a few moments. “From where I’m standing I could think a whole bunch of things about that and none of them are any good,” he said warily

“Your paranoia has kept you alive, I get it,” said Guinevere. “But in this case it won’t serve you. Yes I made a mistake getting involved with them. I know that now. I’d like to say I learned too late and in a way that’s true. But now I’m in a position to stop or at least slow down any more massacres. Deacon, I’m married to an ex-Gunner. One of my best friends is a ghoul. I know you’re wary of me but I need you to put that aside. Let RJ give you the details. _Please_ Deacon!”

He sighed deeply. “My brain’s always been twisted where you’re concerned,” he said. “Ok Guin. I’ll talk to him then we’ll see. I’m not promising anything. The Brotherhood, that’s about the worst thing you could have gotten into.”

“I know,” she said. “I fell in love with someone, I believed in him. I was wrong. But I can make this work for us, for the Commonwealth as a whole.”

He nodded, then he was gone.

Guinevere locked herself in the bathroom for a few minutes. She let the adrenaline wear off. She wondered how Deacon had known about her wedding, but then remembered he _was_ a spy, and a very good one at that. It warmed her heart to think that he probably _had_ been around for the wedding, and followed them to Goodneighbor.

RJ was standing in the hallway when she emerged. “Guinny I was starting to worry,” he said.

She threw herself into his arms. “I saw Deacon, he was here RJ!”

“He was? Why?”

She explained what had happened.

“Well that makes it easier for me at least,” he mused.

“When I go back to the Prydwen, I’ll copy down all the codes for you to give him. And the frequencies for the radios. Let him prove my information however he wants. In the meantime, I’ll dig into the intel on anything the Brotherhood has on the Railroad and whatever else.”

RJ held her. “Ok Guinny. Ok. Can we forget about the damn Brotherhood for now though? Just pretend they don’t even exist. It’s just me and you. Can we do that?”

She smiled. “Yes, we can. So...how about hitting up the Rexford?”

The kiss he gave her, standing in the dimly lit hallway was nothing short of breathtaking. “I thought you’d never ask,” he said, taking her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The adorable screenshot of RJ was made for me by the wonderful rinasai@tumblr.com. She's a master of screenies and loves Paladin Danse so go give her some love!


	27. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere puts her plan into action and learns a frightening truth.

* * *

Guinevere returned to the Prydwen with a heavy heart. RJ had begged her not to go, he’d pretty much tried every trick in the book including trying to convince her he’d drank poison and would die.

She had laughed and held him and told him she’d give him a beautiful funeral.

“We just got married two weeks ago Guinny," he whined. "I don’t wanna see you go. I just...please stay.”

“RJ,” she said gently. “I’m doing this for us. For John and Barnaby and Deacon. For all the innocent people out there.” She stroked his hair. “For our children.”

He looked up at her, his eyes suddenly bright. “Our children?” he asked.

She nodded. “Haven’t you thought about it? About starting a family of our own?”

He smiled. “Yeahhh...a lot more than I’ll admit.” 

He’d often watched her and imagined her swollen with life, thought about what it would be like to see her holding their baby. He just didn’t say anything for fear of hurting her. With Shaun still being missing RJ didn’t know how she’d feel about having other children.

“I’d really like that too, RJ," Guinevere said softly.

“Well we’ve been doing the right activities,” he grinned.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” she said. “This is hard for me too. Especially since I have to deal with Maxson. But he’s nothing compared to what we can do with the information I’ll get.”

There was another matter on her mind as well. She talked to the both of them about a hiding place for Hancock.

“I have no doubts that Maxson will get it into his head to try and come here while I’m on my two weeks home,” she said.

“Does he have a deathwish?” asked RJ.

Guinevere gave him a look. “I need you guys to make a hiding spot for John, so if a vertibird shows up here he can hide there. Maxson has no idea about either of you. But if he comes here I don’t want John anywhere near him. Maxson’s not Danse. He’ll shoot you before you know what’s going on. He hates ghouls.”

“Let him try,” said RJ darkly.

“RJ!” said Guinevere. “I’m not playing around. If he comes here he’ll have Brotherhood guards with him. Please... take this seriously honey. Make a hiding place for John. Ok? I want it done for when I come back. Please promise me you’ll do this.”

RJ made a face but agreed.

“I know a place,” said Hancock. “Right out back there, there’s a cave filled with radioactive barrels. No one’ll mess with it. Rads don’t bother me. I’ll make that place up. I want to be nearby at all times especially if Brotherhood assholes show up.”

Guinevere sighed with relief. “Thanks John. And RJ...you’ll need to find a Gunner type uniform. If Maxson shows up here, I want you to play the part of a hired gun and stand at the gate.”

He stared at her. “What? Guinny, I’m your husband!”

She took his hand. “Ok, RJ. I’ll make sure Maxson is aware of that little fact.”

He grumbled and pulled her into his arms. “Fuck this,” he said.

“I know this is awful for you RJ. It’s awful for me too. But we agreed this mission was necessary. Let Deacon know when I’ll be back and set up a meeting like we talked about.”

* * *

Guinevere found Amanda counting meds in the med bay.

“Where’s Dr. Cade?” she asked.

Amanda brightened up at the sight of her friend. “Hey girl! He’s in the mess hall. You need him?”

“No, I just want to talk to you a moment.”

Amanda put her clipboard down. “You sound serious. What’s up? Is John ok? RJ?”

Guinevere nodded. “I want to tell you something. I don’t need you to answer me or do anything with it if you don’t want to. I know you’ve said you aren’t crazy about the Brotherhood, but you like what you do here. Amanda, if you ever wanted to leave, you have a place to go. All three of us...we’d welcome you into our family.”

Amanda’s eyes widened and she blinked. “Do you mean that Guin?”

“I mean that so much you have no idea.” She wasn’t ready to discuss her plan, and she wasn’t sure she ever would. As much as she liked Amanda, she didn't know her nearly well enough to share such a secret.

Amanda took a deep breath. “Guin...can I share something with you?”

“Of course! Anything!”

“I’ve actually been thinking about leaving since we got here. I just couldn’t abandon Danse and Rhys until the Prydwen came. This lifestyle just isn’t right for me. I thought if I got back onboard I’d be excited about it like I used to be but it’s not that way.”

Guinevere smiled so widely her face hurt. “If you go, you just head right for the Red Rocket! I don’t think I’m going to be here long either. The way these people think doesn’t work for me.”

Amanda looked relieved. “I was really worried about talking to you about this. Guin, are you really into the Elder?”

Guinevere shook her head. “He’s a charismatic, handsome man but I don’t like him. He really scares me. I let him do what he wants because I’m scared if I say no he’ll go off on me.”

“He wouldn’t hurt you Guin, I’m sure of that. But I know what you mean about him being scary.”

“I’ve tried to tell him I’m not interested in a relationship but he refuses to take no for an answer. It’s like he can’t hear what he doesn’t want to. So that’s another reason why this wouldn't work out for me in the long run."

Amanda sighed. “I feel bad for you. Too many people are envious of your position but I think it would be awful. Eventually it’ll come to a head. Tell him you love someone else. RJ or something.”

“I wouldn’t trust RJ’s safety. Maxson is really intense Amanda. I mean he wants something he just snaps his fingers. He thinks that a relationship is the same way. I’m scared that he might decide he wants to drag me to his bed and I won’t be able to say no.”

“That’s awful Guin! How are you going to handle that?”

“I honestly don’t know,” said Guinevere. “Just do my thing and keep trying to let him know I don’t want him I guess.  He treats me like a character out of Eric’s book. It’s kind of creepy.”

Amanda wrinkled up her nose. “He’s young. He probably thinks that’s the way you court someone. And it’s from the old world, and so are you.”

“It’s because I look like the queen in the book and I have the same name,” said Guinevere. “His name, the Prydwen...references are everywhere. He thinks we’re meant to be.”

“Oh boy,” breathed Amanda. “You’ve got your work cut out for you girl.”

Cade came back into the medbay. “Well there you are, Guinevere. Arthur has been restlessly pacing the observation deck waiting for you to return. He's been this way since the day you left.”

Guinevere and Amanda exchanged knowing looks.

“I’ll see you later,” said Guinevere. “Bye Dr. Cade.”

* * *

Arthur Maxson wanted to run to Guinevere and pick her up in his arms and carry her off like they did in the book. Instead he watched her as she approached, his hands behind his back.

“Hi Arthur,” she said, trying to be as chipper as possible.

He held his arms out to her. “The queen returns to her kingdom,” he said softly as she embraced him. “I’ve missed you greatly. Did you enjoy your time with your family?”

She nodded and stepped back. “My dog missed me terribly.”

“I have something for you my dear,” he said, reaching into his pocket. “I’d wanted to give it to you at dinner but I can’t wait.”

_ Oh no,  _ thought Guinevere.  _ What fresh hell is this? _

Maxson held up a gold pendant on a chain. She took it and looked at it closely. It was the symbol of the Brotherhood Elder.

“I had it made for you,” he said. “Do you like it?”

Guinevere thought it was terrible. But she appreciated the amount of trouble it must have taken him to have such a trinket made.

Her fingers went to RJ’s gift. “Arthur, it’s beautiful,” she lied. “But I can’t wear it.”

“Whyever not?” he asked, confused.

She showed him hers. “Because my husband gave me this one, and I won't ever take it off.” At least  _ that _ wasn’t a lie.

His expression softened. “Ahh I see. This one is longer, you could wear them both, couldn’t you? Please, Guinevere, it would please me.”

She sighed inwardly. He just wouldn’t accept the word no.

“Alright, Arthur,” she said submissively. He brightened and placed it around her neck. It lay just above her cleavage.

“It looks lovely on you. I hope you’ll think of me when you see it.”

“Thank you. I surely will. I need to go and report to Proctor Teagan. I’m sure he’s got a lot for me to do.”

Maxson nodded. “I’ll see you at dinner this evening at 18:30 hours then, shall I?”

“Alright,” she said, offering up a smile.

Maxson took her hand and kissed it. “Until this evening, my queen.”

* * *

Guinevere took a deep breath and stepped into Proctor Quinlan’s office. “Proctor?” she asked.

He turned around. “Hmm Scribe Stanton is it. Formerly Knight Stanton?”

“Yes sir,” she said.

“Well you chose the right branch of the Brotherhood. We  _ are  _ the ones with the intelligence here. What can I do for you?”

“Nothing for me,” Guinevere said. “I was thinking that maybe I could help _you_ out from time to time.”

He raised his eyebrows. “No one has any interest in this chaotic hell of old files. Even the Elder won’t step foot in here. Why would _you?_ ”

She smiled as sweetly as she could. “I’m new here. I don’t know anything about the missions, and since I’m not going to be doing very many anymore, I don’t want to get left out of the victories!”

He looked at her over the top of his spectacles. “Aren’t you just full of enthusiasm,” he said droley. “Well if you want to try your hand at organizing that red cabinet there, be my guest. But don’t leave a mess behind and finish whatever you start.”

She nodded. “I have assignments with Proctor Teagan and Proctor Franklin. I couldn’t come here until after dinner. Is that ok?”

He narrowed his eyes and thought about it. “You’re the Elder’s love interest, aren’t you?” he asked.

Guinevere cringed inwardly. “Yes, Elder Maxson has declared his interest in me.”

“He’s a very fine man. The best, if I do say so myself. If he trusts you than I should have no reservations. The password to unlock the door is Grognak.”

Guinevere blinked. “As in the comic book character?” she asked.

“Indeed, that same one. I have an affinity for old comic books. I don’t share that knowledge with everyone, so keep it to yourself. You may come and go as you please, Scribe. But mind what I said!”

She was pleased. Her association with Arthur, troublesome as it was for her, was already opening doors.

“I’ll start tonight, Proctor Quinlan.”

“Mmhm,” he said, already turning back to his computer.

* * *

Guinevere went about her day, trying to stay focused on her tasks, just waiting for time to pass until she could attack the files in Quinlan’s office.

At dinner, she railroaded Arthur into teaching her more code, and played dumb just enough so that he started writing it down for her. He had clear handwriting and she was glad she wouldn’t have to rewrite it.

“I’ll study them, Arthur,” she said. “And reading mission reports will help.”

He nodded with pride. “Excellent. Make sure to look into the intel reports. There are no clues there to decipher the codes and you must know them to understand. You are also assisting Quinlan with his mess, aren’t you?”

She was surprised that he already knew about it. Then again, there was nothing ever hidden from the Elder. His staff was completely subservient to him.

“Yes I am, Arthur. His office is a mess and I’m quite good at organizing. I think it’ll be a great help to everyone if it’s cleaned up.”

He gently touched her cheek. “Such dedication. You do me proud, my queen.”

Guinevere smiled demurely. She didn’t want to invite any more touching.

“I told him I’d start after dinner. Could I go now, Arthur?” she asked.

He nodded. “I sacrifice the pleasure of your company for the greater good. Please see me before you turn in for the night, providing it’s before the midnight hour.”

Guinevere cheered internally. She’d make sure to stay up later. It meant more research and more intel gathering and the sooner she could get enough, the sooner she could leave the Brotherhood behind her.

Quinlan was still in his office when she arrived. He’d mentioned the red filing cabinet and that’s where she started. He didn’t speak to her much, and eventually he said his good evening and left her to it.

The files were pretty much in no coherent order. The dates were mixed up and worse, there were of course mission files and intel from places not in the Commonwealth.

Guinevere found herself sucked into reading about the strange and horrible creatures of the capital wastes. She was eager to share the stories with RJ, and of course John who’d never been there.

She divided the piles up by location first, but felt that there should be a separate cabinet for capital waste information. She looked around and found an old dented cabinet beneath a crate. It was small, only two drawers but it would have to do.

As she pulled the crate off, it slipped and fell, the lid coming off. Files spilled out and she sighed. More to clean up.

There were names written at the top. Personnel files? She opened one. It detailed a Knight with name, date of birth, and every other vital statistic. It listed his missions, his promotions, accolades, romantic relationships and the fact he had two children. At the end of the file were the letters MIA. Missing in action.

She looked through several others, all of them with the same conclusions.

She was about to toss them back in the crate when another folder caught her eye. There was a code she didn’t understand, and no name was recorded. The rest was there. At the end were the letters _DC RR insertion_ , and a date which was 6 months ago.

_ What do the letters mean?  _ She asked herself.  _ DC...Diamond City? Was this soldier sent on leave? _

Nothing else in the file gave her any clues. She set it aside and looked through the rest of them. There were others with the DC prefix but none of them matched up.

A soft tapping at the door startled her. She looked up to see Liz smiling at her.

“What on earth are you doing in _this_ hell?” she asked.

“Quinlan needs help,” said Guinevere.

Liz laughed. “He needs help alright. And not just with his files.”

Guinevere made a face. “He’s a bit strange, I agree. But he seems ok."

“You’re too sweet, Guin,” said Liz. “I came by here looking for a holotape that was supposed to be here for me.”

Guinevere looked around. There was a box on the desk with several of them haphazardly tossed inside. “I have no idea,” she said. “But you can see if any of those work. He never said anything to me.”

Liz laughed. “He had to get to his room to pleasure himself looking at comic book women!”

Guinevere gaped at her. “Yuck! That’s gross, Liz!”

Liz picked up the box. “I’m not going to spoil your fun. Just you wait until you find his ‘happy files’ and make sure to tell me all about it!” She was still laughing as she walked away.

“Happy files? Liz! What?!” But Guinevere was alone again. 

She sighed. She couldn’t overtly ask anyone anything about the strange codes. She had to allay suspicion on herself as much as possible. Guinevere admitted she knew nothing about being a spy. She needed Deacon. He knew everything about it.

It was late when she closed the door after carefully cleaning up. If she’d thought to avoid Maxson and sneak into her room, she was sadly mistaken.

The Elder was on the observation deck, and Guinevere cursed the noisy Prydwen floors for not being able to hide her footfalls.  He turned around and saw her, smiled and held out his hand.

“Come to me, my dear,” he said softly. She had no choice but to let him lead her to the railing.

“Look below us and see the Commonwealth at night. Is it vastly different from how you remember it?”

Guinevere looked. Gone were the bright lights of the skyscrapers and the marinas. There were no brightly lit boats moored or aircraft coming and going. No happy families gathered around the TV or each other in warmly lit homes.

Sorrow fell on her like a wet blanket. “Yes, it is,” she said.

He placed an arm gently around her shoulders. “This is why we fight for the people. To return this world to it’s former glory with all the threats removed. They need to be governed firmly, like errant children. The Commonwealth is fortunate that we arrived.”

_ His arrogance is terrible, _  she thought.

He squeezed her against him, and kissed the side of her head. “I’m glad I got to see you before retiring for the night. Goodnight, queen Guinevere,” he said.

She mustered up a smile. “Goodnight, Arthur.”

* * *

Guinevere worked diligently day in day out at her assigned tasks, always eager to get back into the files.

She learned the codes, suffered Maxson’s over the top attention, and waited until she could go home to her beloved husband.

At night Guinevere would place pillows all around her, and imagine RJ was there with her. She missed him so deeply and time seemed to slow the moment she returned onboard. She had wanted to return to the ground to see him, but as a Scribe all her duties were on the Prydwen.

She had to admit she was afraid. Afraid for the people of the Commonwealth, afraid for Deacon and John and her friends, and afraid for herself. 

The strange codes on the personnel file still mystified her but she got a lucky break when Quinlan himself told her what she needed to know. And Guinevere was horrified once she put two and two together.

“Ah I see you reorganized the deep cover files,” he said as she appeared one evening.

She blinked and looked up. “I’m sorry?” she asked.

He waved a hand towards the crate. “Our deep cover operatives. Most have vanished. I really think we ought to burn those files. They are of no use to anyone,” he complained.

Guinevere’s heart began racing a mile a minute, but she kept working. “Oh,” she said as evenly as possible. “I have no idea what that means.”

“Hasn’t Arthur been teaching you anything?” Quinlan asked, annoyed.

Guinevere gave him a sweet smile. “Oh he tries to, but I’m not very smart. I’d rather just help grow the plants.”

He smiled, a smile that never seemed to reach his eyes. “You have a better chance of surviving in that case. DC operatives are fools if you ask me. At least Arthur had the good sense to only let _one_ try and infiltrate that nonsensical underground group. We don’t need to lose more soldiers to such foolhardy missions. That poor soul is most likely dead already. Here I thought we'd be working smarter in the Commonwealth.”

“Proctor, I have no idea what you just said,” she remarked.

He made a face and turned back to the box he was searching in. “It’s just as well. Such nonsense,” he said.

_ It’s not Diamond City. It’s deep cover,”  _ she thought.  _ But what did he mean by underground group? The Gunners? The Institute? No one knew where that was. She would have heard it from Maxson if they had. _

She'd continued working and then the realization hit her like a ton of bricks. Underground group.  _ DC RR insertion. _

The Railroad.


	28. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere meets with the Railroad; visited by some memories of Danse; RJ and Hancock have another talk.

* * *

Guinevere raced into RJ’s arms. He caught and held her, kissing her hungrily. 

Reuniting with her husband made all the cares and stress fall away, but her revelation about the spy pushed on her mind.

“RJ, I need to tell you what I found out,” she said, but he closed his mouth on hers, silencing her, forcing her to let her passion do the talking instead.

“Guinny...later,” he murmured. “I need you.”

RJ picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, and didn’t waste another moment before divesting them both of their clothing.

He was inside her in a heartbeat, their bodies melding together, moving as one, passions and longing exploding. But once was not enough, and they both needed one another so desperately that RJ didn’t leave her body but took her again, slower this time, gentler.

When the rush wore off they dozed, entwined, their lives once more complete. 

As Guinevere awoke, all of her thoughts came tumbling back.

“RJ, I need to see Deacon. Did you find him?”

The urgency in her voice startled him. “Woah Guinny. We just got back together. It’s been hell here without you. Can’t we just enjoy this for now?”

He turned on his side and carded his fingers through her hair, then kissed her, feeling desire stirring within him again.

She drew back. “The Railroad. It’s in danger. There’s a spy.”

He blinked. “Huh? What?”

Guinevere sat up. “I found I file. I copied all the information in it. Quinlan told me they have a deep cover operative in the Railroad. That’s how the Brotherhood is finding the safehouses. It has to be!”

“That’s not good,” said RJ. “Not good at all. I set up a meeting for tomorrow. Concord. He’s really wary of you though.”

She sighed. “I get that. But he has to listen to me regardless.”

“He will. Especially about this. That’s big news. Really big.”

Guinevere lay back down, curling up in his arms, their fingers laced.

She felt agitated and wanted action, but there was nothing that could be done until the following day. Forcing her mind to settle on that fact, Guinevere relaxed and allowed herself to enjoy their time together. 

Hancock emerged from the hidey hole he’d been working on and listened with surprise at Guinevere’s revelations.

“That’s some heavy info Sunshine,” he said. “It’ll do some good to find that spy. How do you know they won’t send another though.”

“I don’t,” said Guinevere. “And that scares me.”

* * *

The meeting place was underground in the ruins of a home in the neighboring city of Concord. Hancock, Dogmeat and RJ accompanied Guinevere.

She saw Deacon and her face lit up but as she moved towards him, to hug her friend, another agent stepped from the shadows and stopped her with his rifle.

“Woah there buddy!” cried RJ, pushing the gun down. “We’re all friends here. Don’t be pointing that thing at my wife, got it?”

The agent looked over at Deacon, who nodded and he stepped back.

“Deacon?” questioned Guinevere, hurt in her eyes. He’d hugged her that day in The Third Rail with no reservations.

He didn’t move. “Sorry honey,” he said apologetically. “You know how it is.”

Deacon knew the affectionate Guinevere simply wanted to embrace him, and he’d have welcomed it if it had been just the two of them, but security was the priority and he hadn’t come alone.

A woman stepped from the shadows and stood beside Deacon.

“This is Desdemona,” he said by way of introduction. “She’s the head of the Railroad. Figuratively anyway.”

Desdemona gave him an odd look, then snapped her gaze to Guinevere.

“Deacon’s told me all about you,” she said, her voice cold. “You used to help us out, but then you joined with our enemy, the Brotherhood. Why in the hell should we trust you?”

Guinevere looked at RJ. She hadn’t expected more people. She’d only wanted Deacon. The spy could be anyone and she wasn’t about to trust others. But she had to appease them enough to listen to her.

“I can’t make you trust me,” she said. As always, Guinevere chose the honesty route. “I fell in love with the wrong person. I didn’t join the Brotherhood because I liked  _ them _ . I joined because I loved Eric Danse and I believed the things he told me. I was wrong.”

Desdemona eyed her carefully but said nothing.

Guinevere looked at Deacon. “I don’t know any of these people. They could get  _ me _ killed too. I need to know how long you’ve known them.”

“Guin, you said you had info for us,” said Deacon.

“I do. For you. I won’t talk to these others unless you can answer my question.”

Deacon indicated Desdemona. “I’ve known Des for what...five years now? And Jack, I’ve known  _ him _ for two.”

Guinevere nodded. “Is there anyone else who came with you?”

“Yeah they’re out in the city watching out for your people,” said Deacon.

Guinevere bristled. “They’re not  _ my _ people.

Have any of them joined the Railroad in the last 6 months?”

Deacon shook his head. “No. Low level operatives don’t come on meetings like this.”

Guinevere turned her gaze to RJ, feeling insecure. He gave her a nod of encouragement.

“You have a spy in your ranks somewhere,” she said.

“A  _ spy? _ Don’t be ridiculous!” spat Desdemona. “ _ This _ is the drivel you dragged us out here for?”

“This  _ drivel _ as you call it could save your lives and the lives of countless other people!” Retorted Guinevere. “How do you think the Brotherhood finds your safehouses? I’m putting myself at risk to do this. The least you can do is look at it!”

“Guinevere is giving you a smoking gun,” said Hancock. “She’s doing you a big favor.”

Guinevere pulled the paper from her pocket and held it out to Deacon. “There’s no name or gender but there  _ is _ a physical description. Unless you have a 6 foot 1 new female recruit within the last 6 months I’d say it was male. I don’t know anything about this person. I found this information accidentally. I can’t even tell you how and when they communicate with the Brotherhood. I can’t ask any questions for obvious reasons.”

Deacon read the info, then handed it to Desdemona.

“You got any guys who just always seem to be out of the area when any action happens?” asked RJ. “He’s gonna be quiet. Low key. Just watching and remembering what he sees.”

Desdemona and Deacon spoke softly to each other, but in the small space there was no real privacy.

“Come on Des,” said Deacon. “If this is on the level, it’s huge. We can’t afford to lose any more agents.”

“What is it with you and this girl?” asked Desdemona. “You’ve got your brain twisted when it comes to her. She’s  _ Brotherhood  _ Deacon. All of this could be a trap.”

“Guin’s not the enemy here,” said Deacon. “She fucked up. We all fuck up. Hell I do it as a religion and you keep  _ me _ around.”

“ _ You _ didn’t join the Brotherhood,” bristled Desdemona. 

“No, but I turned myself into a ghoul and freaked you all out that time!”

Desdemona crossed her arms, her expression hard. “She walks in here with a merc, a ghoul and a dog, wearing that Brotherhood symbol around her neck and I’m supposed to trust her? Is there something I’m missing here Deacon?”

Deacon sighed. “When we met, we kind of had a thing, me and Guin.”

Desdemona rolled her eyes. “Well shit, here we go.”

“It never went anywhere,” said Deacon. “You know I  _ can’t _ go there. But feelings are feelings. She’s not the enemy Des. I get it that you don’t want to trust her. But can you trust  _ me  _ on this? She’s putting herself in harms way for us.”

Desdemona looked prickly and gave the paper a once over. “This better not come back to bite us in the ass, Deacon.”

He grinned. “No way. It’s solid, I’m sure of it.”

Deacon walked towards Guinevere.

He looked at RJ. “You going to freak out if I hug your wife?” he asked amiably.

“Not unless you grope her,” said RJ.

“Fantastic,” grumbled Desdemona. “She’s  _ married _ to a merc.”

Deacon gently embraced Guinevere. “Thank you honey,” he said softly. 

Guinevere looked up at him, wishing she could see his eyes and read his expression. But as always, Deacon wore his sunglasses, still living behind that air of mystique. Guinevere could honestly say that even after all the time they’d spent together, and how hard she’d fallen for him initially, she knew nothing about Deacon. Everything he’d ever told her might have been a lie, even his name. But none of that mattered now.

He stepped back. “Guin, listen to me. Any intel you get from now on, that someone tells to your face...don’t repeat it.”

Guinevere looked puzzled. “I don’t understand,” she said.

“People like the Brotherhood are suspicious. Especially since, like RJ told me, you don’t have a lot of fans there. Spreading disinformation is a way of testing someone’s loyalty. You take a few people, tell each one some made up junk and see who acts on it. That shit will get you killed fast. So anything anyone tells you is off limits ok? Dig up intel on your own. You’re right not to ask questions. Play the fool. It’s safer.”

Guinevere took a deep breath. Deacon was taking her seriously again and relief flooded over her. But something about that frightened her too. Everything was starting to feel too real.

“I have more information. Codes and radio frequencies. But I can’t give them to you until you find the spy.”

Deacon nodded. “Ok. We’ll work on it. I’ll get a message to RJ when we figure things out.” He turned to go.

“Deacon?” asked Guinevere. “How’s Fairfax?”

He stopped but didn’t look at her. “It’s good. Eliza asks about you. She figured we knew each other that day she saw us together. They really love you Guin. They want you to come back. In fact they ask about both you  _ and _ that Paladin.”

The memory of that wonderful place warmed her heart. “I think of them often,” she said softly. “Please give them my love.”

Deacon nodded. “I will, honey. Be safe.”

He and Desdemona vanished into the shadows, Jack following after them.

“Well,” said RJ. “That wasn’t too bad.”

“They have to find that spy,” said Guinevere. “I can’t give them anything else until they do.”

“What about Garvey?” asked RJ. “Can you give  _ him _ the info so the Castle can send help to fight back against any attacks?”

Guinevere nodded. “I can. We can do that tomorrow. But we’ll all need to travel to the Castle. There’s too many unknown settlers at Sanctuary.”

“Guinny,” said RJ. “Are you forgetting that the Castle is on the other side of Boston?”

She grinned. “I know.” Guinevere looked apologetically at Hancock. “I was going to summon a vertibird to give us a ride, well except John.”

Hancock shrugged. “I like my feet on the ground Sunshine.”

RJ grinned. “Sounds like a crazy adventure. Never been in a vertibird.”

“Its really fun,” she said. “It’s a different perspective from the air.” She sighed and walked towards the stairs. “Well let’s go home then. I’m feeling really tired suddenly.”

“This spy stuff is so intense,” said RJ. “Can’t blame you.”

“I need a chem break,” said Hancock.

“Surprise!” cried RJ. “I could use a drink though.”

“Surprise!” imitated Hancock.

Guinevere laughed. “RJ you have a drinking problem.”

He raised his eyebrows at her. “No I don’t. I drink, I pass out...no problem.”

She rolled her eyes. RJ put his arm around her. “Does it really bug you?” he asked.

Guinevere shook her head. “No but I wouldn’t want our kids to see you do that as much as you do.”

“Yeah, you got a point there,” agreed RJ. “Got into the habit to drown my pain. Life doesn’t hurt anymore so really I don’t need to do it, do I. Well...not as much anyways.”

Guinevere wrapped her arms around him for a moment. “I love you RJ. I seriously love you.”

He kissed her forehead. “Goes both ways, Guinny-veer,” he said affectionately. “But shouldn’t we be giving Hancock hell for his chem problem? Our kids don’t need to see that either.”

Guinevere laughed. “John’s beyond help. But he won’t be doing that in front of kids, no.”

Hancock shook his head. “I’m not into corrupting young minds. They do that well enough on their own these days.”

* * *

Morning came and Guinevere couldn’t muster the motivation to get out of bed. “I slept like the dead and I’m still tired,” she said.

“It’s all that spy stuff I’m telling you,” said RJ, holding her close. “The stress when you’re on that blimp has to get relieved somewhere.”

“That sounds about right,” she said. 

“We don’t have to go to the Castle today Guinny. We can stay in bed all day. I can think of things we can do right here!”

She giggled. “I bet you can!”

“That family of ours won’t start itself. We need to help it along!”

Guinevere looked up into his eyes. “Do you really want to have a baby RJ?” she asked softly.

“Hell yes!” he exclaimed. “So badly Guinny.”

She kissed him. “So do I. Shaun would probably like a little brother or sister. And so would Duncan.”

“I’m sure they would,” said RJ.

* * *

Despite her love for RJ, there were days, especially in the early morning when she was up and about before her husband and Hancock, where Guinevere would be attacked by memories.

They had decided to delay the trip to the Castle for a few days. She had planned out a meal for the evening, and was harvesting in the garden, when she remembered Fairfax.

Unbidden, the memory of Danse’s wonderful song flooded her memory. The way it had felt to see a completely different side of him, to know that someone could love her again when she’d given up.

_ I love you Guinevere. _

His deep, gentle voice speaking those words would put her to sleep at night and wake her in the morning.

She remembered catching him looking at her over the breakfast table, or across the garden, and even over a pile of dead super mutants. The softness in his eyes, the curve of his lips as he smiled.

She could remember the way he touched her, the way he kissed, and how cautious he’d always been when they made love.

The earth she stared at began to blur, as tears welled up in her eyes and dripped down. She kept digging, pulling, the memories like bright flashes of light.

_ Eric. We had dreams, we had plans. We had love. What went wrong? What did I do to make you turn away from me? _

When Hancock emerged to climb onto his rooftop perch, he saw her there, hugging herself, sitting on her knees in the dirt, head down and sobbing quietly.

“Ah, Sunshine,” he said softly. 

Hancock knelt down beside her, and pulled her into his arms. Her grief was so acute, so sharp that even the ghoul could feel it. He wondered if she’d ever given herself time to properly grieve her losses. He’d been there when they buried Nate, and he knew she’d accepted his death. But had she properly grieved the loss?

Then the situation with her son, and Danse. He’d cautioned MacCready on pushing her too far, too fast. He didn’t think his friend understood how fragile Guinevere truly was. She wanted everyone to be happy. She deeply desired to be loved and her submissive nature would never have allowed her to say no to MacCready.

RJ stepped outside, having awoken alone and wanting his wife. He was shocked to see Guinevere sobbing as though her heart was breaking. He had barely taken a step towards her when Hancock raised a hand, warning him off.

_ Did I do this?  _ RJ thought, his heart sinking.  _ Did I stupidly upset Guinny somehow?  _

He tried to remember if he’d been drinking too much the night before but he hadn’t. In fact he’d been drinking far less lately. They’d had a great night, playing board games and talking. What was wrong with his wife and why was Hancock keeping him away?

Miserable, RJ wandered a few feet to a bench and sat down. Dogmeat wandered over, head low, and sat beside him. RJ scratched the shepherd between the ears and watched Guinevere and Hancock.

He heard the ghoul speaking softly to her, and saw Guinevere hiccuping and nodding. Hancock picked up some vegetables and put them in the basket beside her. He spoke again, and RJ saw Guinevere use her shirt to dry her face.

The mayor stood up, then walked over to RJ, beckoning him to follow. Dogmeat watched them walk off, then with a soft whine went and lay down beside his mistress.

“What did I do?” asked RJ as they walked down the road.

“Remember that day she came back and you proposed? That talk we had?"

RJ nodded. “Yeah. What does that have to do with this, and why are we leaving Guinny alone right now?”

Hancock stopped and looked at his friend. “MacCready, pay the fuck attention, son.”

RJ made a face at him. “I always pay attention. Be dead if I didn’t.”

“She wasn’t ready. I told you that day. But you kept on going with the marriage thing.”

RJ’s expression fell. “She...she’s regretting us? She’s sorry she married me?”

Hancock shook his head. “No. She loves you. Thing is MacCready, she never got her head wrapped around what happened with Danse. Yeah we couldn’t stand him. Me and you had it out for the guy...but that wasn’t how Guin felt. She was in love with him. They planned a whole life together. When all that shit went down...and I still don’t really know what it was...it was like the bottom fell out of her world again. She came home to us, needing a place to process and heal, you feel me? And  _ you _ went off with your hair on fire.”

“She said yes...if she didn’t want to she could have said no…”

Hancock sighed. “You’re killing me here. Don’t you know her at all? Haven’t you figured her out by now? That little doll never wants to disappoint anyone. I watched how you reacted when she hesitated. She can’t handle making anyone feel bad.”

“So...today...what upset her?”

“Memories, son.”

RJ kicked at the ground. “Let me guess...that jackhole tinman.”

Hancock dug out his pack of cigarettes and offered his friend one before lighting them both up. “Him, and her son.”

“Me and Guinny are trying for a baby,” said RJ softly.

“See that’s not a good idea MacCready. You’re trying to replace everything in her life. Nate, Danse, Shaun. You can’t do that. It doesn’t work. She needs time to heal from everything. She’s broken inside.”

“Guinny wants a family Hancock. She tells me that all the time.”

“Yeah she does. That’s not the problem. She can’t get out of her own way right now. So we gotta help her. She’s eyeball deep in that shit up there with the Brotherhood. You want her to be pregnant with all that stress? Come on, MacCready.”

“We want to have a life,” said RJ, irritated. “You know, a normal life: husband, wife, a few kids and a dog. I don’t want  _ any _ of this bullshit anymore. I don’t give a flying  _ shit _ about the Brotherhood or the Commonwealth. Hell I say we all pack up and head south. Or west to California. I’d even go north to Canada and live on an iceberg. Don’t care. Just tired of all this crap.”

“You think moving away means she’ll leave all her memories behind?” Hancock asked.

“Why do you gotta be such a goddamn wiseass?” complained RJ.

“I took my mentats this morning is why. But you feel me, son?”

RJ shrugged. “I don’t know. Yeah, I guess.”

“Right now you just need to be there for her. Nothing else. Don’t push an agenda on her. And don’t let her try and run from her pain either. One step at a time MacCready. It’ll all work out.”

RJ crushed out his cigarette and exhaled sharply. “Can I go home and see my wife now?”

“Yeah. Just think about what I said, deal?”

RJ walked off without another word. He hated it that Hancock made sense. He’d never had parents or anyone to teach him how the world worked. He had to figure everything out on his own.

He and Lucy had been kids, playing at being grown up and look where that got them. Life seemed simpler back then. Lucy was simpler...Guinevere was complicated.  _ Life _ was now complicated.

But RJ loved his life just as it was and he loved Guinevere with all his heart.

He found her in the kitchen. Her eyes were still red and puffy but she looked up and smiled. “Where did you go?” she asked.

“Hancock made me go for a walk,” said RJ. He reached her and stood behind with his arms around her and his chin on her shoulder. “Guess he mistook me for Dogmeat.”

Guinevere laughed lightly. “I’m making a strawberry pie. I think. Our wheat plants are doing well and the strawberry harvest isn’t too bad. It’s actually easier now with no bugs to eat the plants.”

“Yeah the bugs now eat us instead.”

Guinevere wiped her hands off and turned around. “I’m sorry you had to see that breakdown of mine,” she said. “I just caved in.”

“Why are you sorry Guinny? We’re supposed to share everything. We promised no secrets remember? Even the sad stuff.”

Guinevere looked pensive. “I know RJ...but it feels cruel to me to tell you when I have thoughts about Danse. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Your memories, good or bad are part of who you are. I can deal with it. Not saying it won’t suck but you don’t need to hide it.”

Guinevere smiled and hugged him close. They held each other for awhile, just enjoying the tenderness and the connection. They heard Hancock climb up to his perch, and Codsworth began his patrols.

“Want to go to our room?” asked RJ softly against her ear.

She gave him a mischievous grin. “Is little RJ feeling left out of all the love?”

He pulled her tightly to him. “What do you think, Guinny?”


	29. Conflicts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maxson visits the Red Rocket; Guinevere has to reassure a worried RJ; the Minutemen are given Brotherhood info; Deacon is disturbed by Desdemona's decision.

* * *

Guinevere was planning to head over to Sanctuary to talk to Preston when she heard the heavy engine sound of a vertibird.

John was in the garage. “Expecting visitors, Sunshine?” he asked.

Guinevere frowned. “No, I’m not. Could be any one of three people though. Danse, Amanda or Maxson. I really hope it’s Amanda. If not...you know what to do.”

She stepped outside, looked up, and her heart sank.

Righteous Vengeance.

The big vertibird was negotiating it’s way to the landing zone.

“RJ,” she said. “It’s Maxson. Get yourself together and get in position.”

He thought about arguing about it but seeing the worry on his wife’s face made him go and get his gunner jacket and cap on.

“John!” she shouted. “Go!”

“I’m gone, Sunshine,” he called out.

Guinevere took a deep breath and stood at the bench beside the car as RJ walked to the gate.

The vertibird landed and the engines were cut, then two armor clad soldiers stepped out of the vehicle.

Guinevere watched as Maxson climbed down and walked behind them.

RJ stopped the group. “Who the hell are you and what do you want here?” he asked.

“This is Elder Arthur Maxson of the Brotherhood of Steel,” answered the tinny voice of one of the soldiers.

“And?” RJ asked, his voice hard.

Maxson looked up and saw Guinevere who was walking slowly towards them.

“Guinevere, my queen,” he said, stepping forward and moving RJ out of the way.

Angered, RJ stepped back in front of him. “Hey asshole! You don’t get to just walk into someone’s house!”

The soldiers drew their weapons at RJ. “Back off merc,” said one of them.

Guinevere could see RJ’s impulsive nature about to take hold.

“Arthur!” she said, holding her hand out. “How nice to see you!”

Maxson raised his hand and the soldiers stepped back.

“Guinevere,” he said, reaching her and taking both her hands. “The Prydwen is gloomy and dark without your light. I had to see you, but getting your location from Haylen was quite difficult. She safeguards you most highly, even from her Elder!”

He kissed her hand.

Behind him, Guinevere tried not to see the combination of hurt and anger in RJ’s eyes.

“Amanda is a good friend,” she said with a smile. “Will you be staying long, Arthur?”

“Not long, no,” he said regretfully. “I had some business to attend to and thought this detour would be pleasant.”

He tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow and walked her towards the house. “Show me this home of yours that you prize so highly my dear.”

RJ looked at the soldiers, standing on either side of the fence. “You two want to get the hell out of my face? Go guard your ship.”

“We take no orders from you,” said a soldier, and continued to stand, weapons ready.

“Guess I’ll go guard it then,” said RJ, stepping towards the gate. “Maybe go for a little ride.”

They barred his way. “I would advise against that. The vertibird is the property of the Brotherhood of Steel. Should you choose to interfere, we’ll have no choice but to forcibly restrain you.”

RJ laughed. “ _Forcibly restrain you,”_ he imitated. “Do all you losers talk like that?”

They said nothing further, but neither did they move.

“Mr. MacCready!” called Guinevere from the diner. “You may stand watch by the garage now, thank you.”

He knew she was calling him closer. The garage was the closest point to the rest of the living quarters. He gave the soldiers a mock salute and jogged off.

Maxson sat down at the table. “I’m dismayed that you choose to hire such riffraff to guard you, Guinevere. The volatile temper displayed by that mercenary concerns me. I will assign some permanent guards to your home. I wish you to be well protected.”

_Oh please, anything but that!_

“No, thank you Arthur. I prefer things this way. I enjoy helping settlers, and they’ll refuse to come to me if they see armor wearing guards here.”

Maxson looked dubious. “The goodness of your heart can prove to be a dangerous thing my dear. But if that's what you wish, then so be it. I quite liked the little table you had set up at the top of the yard. Might we take some refreshments there?”

Guinevere gave a small sigh. The little setup she had created for her and Danse. Since things had ended between them, she hadn’t gone near it. She couldn’t refuse without explaining herself so she nodded.

“If you like. Let me get a tray together and have Codsworth bring it up.”

Maxson was pleased with her graciousness. He hadn’t known what to expect from her when he showed up. At the very least he had thought she’d be upset that Haylen had divulged her location. The fact she wasn’t encouraged him.

They walked to the table and sat down, Codsworth hissing along behind them. “Will there be anything else Miss Guinevere?” asked the bot.

“No, thank you Codsworth. You may leave us.”

Guinevere saw RJ watching them from the garage. Maxson noticed as well.

“Must that mercenary stare at you that way?” he asked.

“Gunners take their jobs very seriously,” she explained. “They’re not average raiders. I trust him completely. He’s been with me for quite a while. I feel safe with him Arthur, so you don’t need to worry.”

She poured him some wine, and placed a cinnamon cake on his plate. RJ began to pace. He walked to the side of the diner then back, then to the other side, and eventually all the way around it.

Maxson talked about Brandis being cleared for duty, recon team sweep and clear missions, and a building full of super mutants that had to be cleared.

Guinevere wasn’t paying attention in the least. She wanted him to leave, but she smiled and nodded and asked the occasional question.

“I see no one else here,” said Maxson. “Where is this family you speak so highly of?”

She hadn’t expected such a question, and to stall for an answer, she took a sip of her drink. “Oh, they are off scavving I suppose. They all have...tasks...to perform here,” she lied, hoping it sounded plausible enough.

Maxson nodded and began eating the dessert. “This is wonderful, did you make it yourself?” he asked.

She smiled and nodded. “We grow our own plants here, and make everything from scratch. It was hard at first but I’m learning I think.”

“You must teach the cook on the Prydwen how to make these. It would be nice to enjoy them when you aren’t with me.”

Guinevere gave a slight shrug. “If they’re willing to learn, I can show them.”

Maxson finished the cinnamon cake and drank the wine, then reached for her hand and sat just gazing at her.

RJ was wandering up the garden where the turrets were, everything about his body language one of distaste.

Maxson opened his battlecoat and took out a small box.

“I brought you a gift my dear,” he said with a smile.

“Oh Arthur, you really shouldn’t be doing that.”

 _Oh now what?_ Guinevere asked herself.

“Nonsense,” he said. “You are of great importance to me. Please open it.”

Guinevere lifted the lid and peered inside. She lifted out a bracelet of gold and silver, hung with tiny charms of all kinds. There were four leafed clovers, flowers, little houses, a dragonfly and even a tiny horse. It tinkled as it moved.

Guinevere knew she shouldn’t like it, or want it, but aside from her butterfly pendant from RJ, the bracelet was the prettiest thing she’d seen in the new world.

“Arthur, this is truly beautiful! Where did you get it?”

He smiled and reached out to clasp it to her wrist. “Many such things come from the capital wastes. I’ve been collecting trinkets since I was a boy. I knew that one day I would find the one who was to receive them.”

He held her hand, stroking it with his thumb.

From his spot at the turret, RJ saw the action and pointed his gun at Maxson’s head and pretended to fire.

Guinevere glanced at him but she couldn’t let her eyes linger, not beneath the steely gaze of the Brotherhood Elder.

“Thank you, Arthur,” she said with a smile.

RJ hit the test button on the turret, making it shoot a round. “Sorry!” he called out. “Gotta test the defenses!”

“Mr. MacCready,” Guinevere said. “Please return to your post. _Now_.”

RJ stalked off.

Maxson gave a weary sigh. “I could stay in this idyllic little place with you all day,” he said. “But sadly I must go. I have a lot to deal with today.”

Guinevere stood up. “I have friends to visit as well. And my dog needs a walk.” She didn’t invite him to return or otherwise encourage him.

Maxson took her hand as they walked back to the gate, RJ following along a few feet behind. Guinevere could just feel him seething.

Without warning at the gate, Maxson took Guinevere’s face in his hands and kissed her. It was a gentle kiss and took her by surprise.

RJ was beside himself with disgust. He grabbed Maxson’s arm and pulled it down, then pushed him back, putting the guards on instant alert.

“Hey! She’s not a goddamn booty call for you! Keep your paws off the lady!”

Maxson’s eyes darkened. He stepped back to Guinevere and pulled her close to him.

“If I didn’t know better,” he said in low tones, his lips inches from hers. “I would think this riffraff had feelings for you, Guinevere.”  

His lips grazed hers once more, then he turned to RJ, his eyes now icy.

Maxson's tone was condescending as he looked down his nose at RJ. “Imagine, a worthless gutter rat like you, having such unrealistic thoughts. Maybe you need to be taught a lesson in manners, merc.”

Guinevere was trembling. RJ just couldn’t control himself. And now he had awakened Maxson’s ire.

 _I need to diffuse this situation, fast,_ she thought fearfully.

She curled her arm around Maxson’s and turned angrily to RJ. “Mr. MacCready!” she exclaimed. “You are _never_ to lay your hands on _my_ guests without my permission. I relieve you of duty. Return to Mr. Hancock for another assignment.”

When RJ didn’t move and simply stared at her, she pointed in the direction of Hancock’s hideout. “Go!” she commanded.

“Fuck this,” said RJ and turned away, at least heading in the right direction.

Guinevere returned her attention to Arthur. “I’m very sorry about that. As I said, they take their job seriously.”

Maxson didn’t look pleased but seemed mollified by her actions. “I trust I won’t have to suffer that fool next time I come to see you?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No, you won’t.”

He nodded, then touched her cheek a moment before turning and heading back to the vertibird. “Until next time, my queen!” he called out, and waved before stepping up and into the cockpit.

She watched the heavy engines start up, and the vertibird slowly lift up and move out over the treetops.

Once assured she was no longer visible, Guinevere walked towards Hancock’s hideout. She didn’t make it far when she found RJ sitting against the wall in a pile of human misery.

She got on her knees beside him. “Hey hon,” she said gently. If ever there was a bird with ruffled feathers, it was her poor husband at that moment.

He didn’t look at her, but stared off into the distance. “I want to say I’m sorry, but I’m really not. I wanted to blow his goddamn head off.”

“I know,” she said softly. “It was hard for you to have to deal with that, I’m sorry RJ. I really am.”

Hancock came up through the underbrush. “Guessing it’s safe now?”

He saw the look on RJ’s face. “Let me guess. Hothead here exploded.”

RJ didn’t say a word.

Guinevere sighed. “Maxson was being rather liberal in his affections, and RJ got a bit offended. I had to send him away before Maxson clocked him one.”

Hancock lit a cigarette. “I was wondering how this whole thing was gonna work. Be better if MacCready came down to the cave with me.”

RJ looked up at him. “No thanks. All the rads down there I’ll come back looking like you.”

“It’s cleaned out,” said Hancock. “Just got the barrels there for show.”

“Well sadly RJ can’t be here anymore when Maxson comes,” said Guinevere.

“Little firecracker,” said Hancock.

“Well what do you expect?” barked RJ. “Asshole had his hands and lips all over her! Then he brings her shit!”

He grabbed her wrist with the bracelet on it, but in his zeal he squeezed her too hard, and she yelped, pulling her hand back. The action unbalanced her and she fell back.

“Easy there, son,” said Hancock. “We knew what we were getting into with this mission. She’s got to keep everyone happy so she can do what needs doing.”

Shocked by RJ's rather rough gesture, Guinevere righted herself, and stood up. Without another word she went back into the diner, to her room and closed the door.

Taking the bracelet off she put it in her drawer and lay down. She was fully aware of how awful her mission was. But having RJ act out the way he had just added to her stress. Now he couldn’t be near her when Maxson came to visit, and she wanted him nearby.

Guinevere curled up, holding a pillow.

Outside, Hancock looked at RJ and shook his head. “You agreed to do this MacCready. You said you were willing to suck it up for the mission. Then you go off like this first time you're faced with it?”

“Bug off,” said RJ. “Leave me alone. These guys. They give her things and _do_ things...and I can’t touch it. She _liked_ that wrist thing he gave her!”

“So?” asked Hancock. “She doesn’t have to like the giver to appreciate the gift. Come on. You know better. Everything’s not a competition.”

“Yeah it is!” argued RJ. “If I don’t make her happy what do you think, Hancock? She’ll go away.”

“You think Sunshine only likes someone for what they give her? Better not let her hear you say that. Bullshit like that will break her heart.”

RJ sighed. “I don’t think that about her, but I want to make her happy. It should be _me_ that makes her smile, not others.”

“You do make her happy. She’s always been happiest around you. She comes home every two weeks with stress in her eyes. Five minutes with you and she’s laughing and happy again. That’s love, son. No trinkets in the world can provide that.”

“I feel like I don’t do enough for her,” said RJ.

“Every guy feels that way about his woman. Kind of comes with the territory.”

RJ dragged himself to a standing position and brushed off his legs. “I better go and suck up to my wife. If she’ll still talk to me.”

“I don’t think there’s any issue there,” said Hancock heading for his ladder.

RJ cautiously opened the bedroom door. Guinevere was curled up on the bed. She looked at him. “You can come in if you want,” she said. “I’m tired and was going to have a nap before going to see Preston.”

RJ closed the door behind him, kicked off his boots, then got on the bed behind her, pulling her as close as he could.

“I’m really sorry for hurting you Guinny,” he said. “I was being an asshole. Are you ok?”

“I’m fine,” she said. “It startled me is all. You've always been so gentle."

He kissed her head. “I’ll never do anything like that again, promise. I got frustrated. I want to be the one to look after you and bring you gifts.”

Guinevere turned over and snuggled against his chest. “RJ, why do you think you need to bring me gifts? You and I, we’re so good together in every way. I don’t need scavenged things to love you. I fell in love with you because of who you are. Because of the way you make me feel every moment we’re together. That’s what keeps me going when I’m stuck up there on the Prydwen. Thinking about _us_. About _you_.”

He was quiet for a long time and Guinevere thought he had dozed off. She closed her eyes, then heard RJ draw in a long breath.

“Guinny? I don’t like being alone,” he said. “It scares me so bad to think that you might leave me. I thought if we got married I’d stop feeling like that but I still do.”

“We’ve been together every day since I first hired you, RJ. Why would that change now?”

“I’m an irrational guy,” he said. “I’m the lion remember? Always scared.”

“I love you so much. I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me. And you aren't very cowardly Mr. Lion, if you're willing to get in Maxson's face like that. He's scary. I was quite worried.”

"He's an asshole with a big mouth just like the rest of them," said RJ. "He doesn't scare me. I've gotten beat downs from better jackholes than him. I can hold my own, believe me Guinny."

"I know you can," she said softly. "But I never want to see you get hurt. That's why I had to take his side, hon. To protect  _you._ And the mission."

He ran his fingertips along her spine and felt her relaxing. “I’m crazy in love with you Guinny,” he said softly. “You’re my whole world. Without you, I’ve got nothing. I don’t know what I’d even do with myself if I lost you.”

Guinevere lifted her head up and gave him a kiss. “Good thing you won’t have to find out,” she said. “Please hold me until I fall asleep. Then we can go see Preston later.”

RJ gave her a gentle kiss. “Guinny...I’m really sorry about how I acted. I know I’m a hothead. And I know I could have really screwed things up. You’re safe up there as long as that guy likes you. Me making all that trouble could have ruined things and put you in danger. Just thinking about that kills me. Now I can’t be here anymore if he comes, which means I can’t protect you, and that’s the worst part.”

Guinevere took his hand and laced her fingers with his. “If it’s any consolation, Arthur wouldn’t ever hurt me. He isn’t an evil man, RJ. He’s just got some very flawed thinking.”

“Do you actually like him, Guinny?” asked RJ.

“He’s different. Arthur is confident and noble, although he’s very arrogant as well. Do I like him? I guess in a way I do. But I don’t like the kind of attention he gives me and I’m not interested in him as a lover obviously. I don't hate the Brotherhood members in general but I do hate the way some of them think. I have friends up there, RJ. There are good people too.”

RJ kissed the top of her head, and squeezed her. “You could have anyone you want Guin. Even a guy like that. Why did you settle for me?”

“Silly RJ,” she said. “I didn’t settle for you. I chose the best guy I could have for my husband. I love you, and only you.”

RJ wished he thought as much of himself as Guinevere did of him.

* * *

Preston gave her a quick hug. “I heard you and MacCready got hitched,” he said. “Congratulations to you both. It’s nice if you can find someone to spend your days with.”

“Thanks Preston!” she said. “It took me too long to realize who really loved me. I’m just glad I figured it out before it was too late.”

“Not as happy as I am,” said RJ, putting his arm around her waist.

“So is this a social visit?” asked Preston. “Or are you looking to help out some new settlements?”

Guinevere gave him an overview about the information she’d gotten from the Brotherhood. “I’ll detail it when we get to the Castle. I’m going to summon a vertibird to fly us there.”

“That’s incredible information!” said Preston, clearly impressed. “So we’ll be able to help out anyone under attack by them?”

She nodded. “It’s mostly going to be synths and ghouls that get the worst of it. But the Brotherhood hates the Railroad because they help the synths.”

Preston slung his rifle over his shoulder. “I’m ready when you are. Be nice to see the Castle again. Long walk and I’ve been too busy with everything here.”

The vertibird came along about 5 minutes after she sent the signal.

“Ad Victorium, Scribe Stanton,” said the pilot. “Where we heading today?”

“Echo 1,” said Guinevere.

She harnessed RJ and Preston, then sat herself beside the pilot.

“Hey Guinny!” called RJ. “Can I play with the gun?”

Guinevere laughed. “I wondered when you were going to ask me that! Do you know how?”

“Not a clue but I’ll figure it out!” He settled himself behind it and looked it over.

The vertibird rose up and turned, heading for the far side of Boston. Preston was enthralled with the view from the air. He pointed out landmarks he knew, and asked about others. Guinevere played tour guide and had the pilot fly them around a few super mutant settlements for RJ to deal with. He was having way too much fun with the gun.

“We need to get our own one of these!” he cried jubilantly as the super mutants fell one by one.

The residents of the Castle were surprised to see Preston emerge from a Brotherhood vertibird.

“Changing sides Preston?” asked Ronnie Shaw.

“Never!” he laughed. “But that thing is damn cool!”

He summoned a few of the Minutemen, including Ronnie, to the meeting room.

Guinevere sat down and gave them all the details of her mission and what she’d learned.

“The Brotherhood has never come after _us_ ,” said Preston.

“You aren’t a threat to them,” said Guinevere. “So you help out settlements. It’s not a game breaker to the Brotherhood. The Institute and the Railroad are their main targets but they go after all ghouls, synths and super mutants as a rule.”

“So we just monitor these frequencies to find out where any attacks are happening?” asked Ronnie.

“Yes that’s right. The code names for the places are on these other sheets here. There will be more showing up as they map out more places. They also have a spy in the Railroad who feeds them information.”

Preston got up and took the sheets, looking them over. “We can’t act on _all_ of these though. If we do, they’ll get suspicious. They might change their tactics if they do, and start suspecting their own group of having a spy.”

“Which they do!” said Guinevere.

“That would be dangerous for you, Guin," said Preston. "We can’t have that. This is valuable information. We’ll guard it with our lives!”

* * *

“I don’t even know where to start with this,” said Desdemona, indicating the paper that Guinevere had given them.

“Everything about this girl spells trouble to me,” said Dr. Carrington. “She’s sleeping with the enemy. That should tell you enough.”

Deacon shook his head. “She’s up there gathering intel for us. She could have just left but she didn’t. Doesn’t that say something?”

“It says she could be laying a trap,” said the doctor.

“You guys don’t know her like I do,” said Deacon. “We spent a lot of time together. I got to know her really well. I mean half the time she didn’t even know I was watching her. Guin has a good heart. She’s a sweet girl.”

“So sweet she joined up with a bunch of killers,” Dr. Carrington said, rolling his eyes.

“She fell in love,” said Deacon. “That’s all she ever wanted was to love someone and be loved back. She didn’t know anything about the Brotherhood. You guys know and trust RJ MacCready. He’s the one who told me that. Guin had no clue who the Brotherhood was. She just got involved with that Paladin.”

“You’re too emotionally involved,” said Glory. The synth agent sat on the edge of a stone sarcophagus lid. “You can’t be objective, Deacon.”

“That’s total bullshit,” he retorted. “What me and Guin had was special yeah. She crawled out of that vault scared and alone, her whole life ripped from her. Instead of freaking out and either going catatonic or becoming a crazed killer, she reaches out. To everyone. She latched onto me from the moment we met. I couldn’t help falling in love with her.”

“Yet here she is married to MacCready,” said Desdemona. “After supposedly falling in love with that Paladin. And what’s with the ghoul? Wasn’t he the mayor Goodneighbor? Is he involved with her too? This girl throws herself at everyone.”

“Not exactly a model for loyalty,” sniffed Carrington.

Deacon put his feet up on a desk. “You guys are so goddamn harsh. You grew up in this shitty world. She didn’t. Do any of you even know what the old world was like from a sociological point of view? She was a wife and mother. That’s all she knew. That’s all she wants.”

“So what the hell happened between you two then?” asked Glory. “She dump you for the bigger, better deal?”

“No. She wanted something I can’t give her. The whole family deal? No can do. All of you know why too. It sucked hard because I really hurt her. She believed we had something special and the truth is, we did. I just have too many demons to fight. None of it was Guin’s fault. If I _wasn’t_ a fucking headcase I’d have married her.”

“Tough break, Deacon,” said Glory as kindly as she could. “So you think we should trust what she tells you.”

“Yes, I do,” responded Deacon, feeling like he finally had someone on his side.

“Can she get us info on that airship?” asked Desdemona.

“Like what?” asked Deacon.

“Anything and everything. What powers it, how it’s maintained, it’s ordnance, crew.”

“Are you thinking of doing what I think you are?”

Desdemona leaned on the well cover. “You know as well as I do that the Brotherhood will never stop hunting us. Not until they're taken out. Maybe we need to put our own spy in place up there. To give us intel we can really use.”

“We can _really use_ the intel Guin’s giving us,” said Deacon, annoyed with her. “Let me ask her about the stuff you want.”

“No,” said Desdemona shaking her head. “Let her feed us what she wants to feed us. We can find a way to get one of our own into their ranks. They’re desperate for more people and will recruit anywhere.”

“I’ll let Guin know then,” said Deacon resignedly.

“Are you not understanding me, Deacon?” Desdemona snapped. “You are not to involve her in Railroad decisions!”

“But Des, she’s doing all this for _us!_ She deserves to know if we’re putting a spy up there!”

“If she’s a double agent, she could be feeding them our info too. We need to keep her at arms length. If her info pans out that’s a bonus for us. But as far as I’m concerned she’s not to be trusted.”

“What about _our_ spy problem?” asked Deacon.

“Let’s go through the ranks and see who matches the description. Once we have an idea who we might be dealing with, you’ll have to put a tail on him Deacon. See if we can figure it out. He has to contact them sooner or later.”

“If we find him, then what?” asked Deacon, already knowing what the answer would be.

“Eliminate him,” she said.

Deacon nodded, but he was bothered. He didn’t like the deception towards Guinevere one bit. Yes he might have been emotionally invested in her, but that didn’t mean he’d lost all his objectivity. Lying to her, keeping secrets from her didn’t feel right to him. But he couldn’t go against Desdemona.

Deacon couldn’t shake the feeling that they were using Guinevere as a pawn, and that it wouldn’t come to a good end.


	30. Wild Blue Yonder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new Brotherhood recruit bothers Guinevere's mind; an interaction with Danse disturbs her deeply; Maxson reveals his plans for their relationship.

* * *

Guinevere was present when the newest recruits were brought on board and presented to the Elder. Unlike her, these ones were in a group of five. She’d had to face Maxson alone.

She half hoped there would be a female among them to take the Elder’s interest in her away but she knew that wasn’t going to happen. And the new recruits were all male.

They were awkward, insecure and didn’t know how to stand at attention or at ease. She felt sorry for them, she remembered the anxiety of meeting Maxson.

Guinevere felt a presence behind her, and turned to see Paladin Danse. She looked up into his eyes and smiled. He gave her a nod of acknowledgment.

“Greetings, Scribe Stanton,” he said softly, so as not to interrupt the Elder’s talk.

The sound of his voice always awoke something in her and she caught herself holding her breath.

“Hello Er...Paladin,” she corrected herself. “How have you been?”

“Occupied with many tasks,” he said.

Her eyes were wistful as she searched his face. It felt as though something were squeezing her heart, standing near enough to him to feel the heat from his body. She half expected him to reach up and touch her cheek, or brush the hair off her face, but the Paladin just stood, watching the proceedings. Finally he returned his eyes to her.

“Is there a reason you’re staring at me, Scribe?” he asked.

_ Yes,  _ she thought sadly.  _ Because I still miss you, because I still love you, and I still wonder what I did wrong. _

“No,” she said. “But I was just wondering if you think about me at all.”

He looked at her oddly, blinked twice then shook his head. “Our time together wasn’t remarkable enough to warrant extra thoughts, Scribe. Our missions were standard and successful. Acceptable teamwork.”

Guinevere felt a lump in her throat. Danse refused to acknowledge their relationship. 

“Fairfax,” she said softly.

“I’m sorry?” he asked.

“I think about Fairfax a lot. We had a good time, didn’t we?”

Paladin Danse frowned at her. “You must have me mistaken for another soldier. I've never heard of Fairfax.”

Guinevere gaped at him. “What? Ok now I know you’re being purposely obtuse! Just because we didn’t work out, doesn’t mean you have to act like we never happened, Eric!”

Before he could respond, she turned on her heel and walked quickly away, wanting to find a quiet corner. Her quarters were too close and she didn’t want him following her with his ridiculous excuses and most likely admonishments about her poor behavior.

_ How can he want to hurt me like this?  _ She asked herself.  _ I can’t think of anything I could have done to warrant such harsh treatment. I get it, relationships sometimes don’t work out but to pretend it never happened? _

Guinevere walked to the furthest part of the ship and stood outside by the tail, watching the world below. Tears blurred her vision and she let them fall, not caring to wipe them away.  _ I thought I’d accepted all this,  _ she thought.  _ But every time I see him it still hurts. Did he ever really love me, or was it just a distraction for him? _

She stood there for a long time, trying to empty her mind, sobbing quietly and hoping that no one discovered her.

* * *

“Hey Guin,” said Amanda, carrying her food tray over to her. It was the lunch hour and Guinevere had managed to pull herself together to attend her morning duties with Martin. She'd just finished her meal and was about to head to the arboretum for the afternoon.

A man followed Amanda. “This is Initiate Frank Loren,” she said. “He’s new here. He’s going to join the Scribes!”

Guinevere looked up at him.  _ I know you! _ She suddenly thought. But then she had no recollection of how, and his name wasn’t familiar.

“Hi Frank. I’m Guinevere Stanton. Weird question but do we know each other?”

He shrugged but there was something strange in his eyes. “Don’t think so. I’d remember you.”

“Maybe you just have one of those faces,” she smiled. “So what area are you going to join into?”

She expected the usual vague answer. Most new recruits had no idea what they wanted to do, but not Frank.

“Engineering,” he said. “Want to learn everything I can about this airship.”

“Chalk one up for the Prydwen!” laughed Amanda. “She never fails to impress!”

_ You’re wrong there, _ thought Guinevere.

Amanda and Frank ate their meal, Guinevere staying to make small talk. The bothersome feeling she’d seen Frank before kept on prodding her mind. It also seemed odd to her that he didn’t look her in the eyes. That could be shyness, but something about the man caused ripples in her mind.

Ultimately Guinevere put it out of her mind. Maybe she’d remember, maybe not. It didn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.

Amanda suddenly looked up, then she stood, as did several others facing the same way.

“The Elder,” she whispered and Frank and Guinevere stood as well.

“Ad Victoriam!” the soldiers exclaimed and gave the salute. He returned the gesture, and scanned the room til his eyes fell on Guinevere.

_ Oh no, not in front of everyone,  _ she groaned inwardly.

Maxson bade everyone to sit back down, and approached Guinevere. He held out his hand. “My dear, will you please come with me?”

She gave him a pained smile and accepted his hand, giving Amanda a wave.

Maxson led her away toward the command deck. “I’d like to try something with you today,” he said with a smile.

“What’s that?” she asked nervously.

“How would you like to fly Righteous Vengeance?”

She gaped at him.“Me? I can’t fly, I’m not a pilot! We’ll die!” she exclaimed.

Maxson laughed. “You’ll do fine. I think it’s important for you to learn. As you and I venture further from the Prydwen, it makes sense for us both to know how to make an escape should it be necessary, wouldn’t you agree?”

Guinevere looked uncomfortable. Being alone with him wasn’t her favorite thing. “Wouldn’t we bring others on missions? Who really know how to fly?”

“I’m not referring to missions, Guinevere,” he said, placing his fingers beneath her chin. “I speak of the time you and I will spend together.”

“I’m not sure I’ll be able to master it,” she said weakly.

“You have so little faith in your own abilities my dear,” he said. “We’ll start by teaching you the console.You need to understand the instrument panel before anything else.”

He led her to his vertibird and had her sit in the pilot’s seat. He began to explain each of the instruments and what their function was. Guinevere had a sharp mind, and she had no trouble remembering them.

“I saw that car at your home,” he said. “Someone who can build such a relic might be mechanically inclined. I thought I’d test that theory.”

Guinevere wanted to say she’d had no part of the entire car, but what did that matter? Maxson had decided she was going to learn to fly and that is what she’d have to do.

He began to explain how the vertibird worked. It sounded complicated but she listened.

“Now up here on the Prydwen, the ships are held by a magnetic arm. The arm swings them out away from the ship and lets go. You turn on the turbos when you feel that drop.”

“What if they don’t start?” she questioned.

“Then you simply land on the ground. Your engines are already on and functioning. The turbo gives you lift and directional control.”

Guinevere listened to his further explanations, then he showed her how to start the ship, and where the turbo button was. The heavy engines turned on and the vertibird vibrated.

“Now you need to use the radio to ask control to release us,” he instructed.

"How?” she asked.

“Each vertibird has a number and letter designation. This one however, has a name. So you identify yourself and your ship and ask for release from the Prydwen. If this were another vertibird you’d need to tell them which divot you are attached to. My ship is always in the same place.”

Guinevere looked at him dubiously. “We’re going to totally die,” she said.

Arthur adjusted his headset with a grin and indicated her to continue.

Guinevere took a deep breath.

“Control, this is Scribe Stanton in Righteous Vengeance requesting release from the Prydwen.”

A voice crackled over her radio. “Righteous Vengeance this is control. Maglock release in 5…”

As the voice counted down, the ship was moved out beyond the dock.

“Remember to hit the turbo when you feel the drop, Guinevere,” said Maxson. “And gently turn in the direction you wish to go.”

There was a bump and Guinevere’s stomach dropped. She pressed the red button on the console, and turned the strange wheel to the left.

The vertibird turned carefully.

Guinevere gave a yip of joy, making Maxson laugh. He instructed her further on ascending and descending, then discussed how to choose a landing site.

“Landing a vertibird is easier than it looks,” he said, and explained the procedure.

They flew around over the water and Libertalia, around the city and did a tour over Diamond City.

“Would you like to land at your home?” he asked.

Guinevere balked. Would John and RJ have the time to get into their respective positions? She decided not to risk it.

“No...could we go to that place by the water that you took me to on our first flight together?”

Maxson agreed, and pointed in the direction she needed to go. He talked her through the landing, and although she bumped a bit harder than she should have, it was successful and he was pleased.

“You are a natural,” he said. “I knew my theory was correct. You are less academic than mechanical.”

_ That’s because I’ve perfected playing dumb, _ she thought.

Maxson got out and lifted her down. He took her hand and they walked to the ruined gazebo. He drew her close to his side, and kissed the side of her head.

“Guinevere, I’m glad you decided to give me a chance. As you see, I’m not a monster to be feared.”

He turned her towards him and tilted her chin up with two fingers. His lips met hers in a tender kiss, unlike the first few he’d planted on her.

Guinevere’s heart was racing.  _ I don’t want to do this, _ she lamented.

Maxson drew back and looked in her eyes. “You will be my queen in every way one day,” he said with confidence. “You will want for nothing, my dear.”

Guinevere just stared at him, speechless. This man just did whatever he wanted and everyone fell in line without question. She wondered how he would feel when she disappeared from his life forever. She might be the only person in the history of Maxson’s life to defy him.

“I’m not ready for that, Arthur,” she said.

“I know. But you will be. I’ve chosen you to carry the Maxson heir,” he said.

“W...what?” she asked, shocked.

“Our child will be conceived with love,” he said, kissing her again. “I’d have it no other way. You  _ will  _ love me, Guinevere. It’s inevitable.”

Guinevere took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “That’s a very heavy deal to drop on someone, Arthur.”

He caressed her cheek. “The Maxson line is an illustrious one,” he said. “Consider it an honor.”

_ Has there ever been anyone more arrogant or in love with himself? This man is too much sometimes. _

“I do,” she lied softly, desperately wanting to get out of her current situation and back to the Prydwen.

He smiled at her. “Shall we walk the shore, such as it is?”

Guinevere was glad to do something else. They walked over debris piles and she told him about the old world and it’s places, and talked about Nate and Shaun hoping he’d get the idea she didn’t want a relationship with him beyond what she was already giving.

“You will be an exemplary wife and mother,” said Maxson. “I’m sure of this. You won’t grieve your losses anymore once you hold our child in your arms.”

She stopped. “Arthur, that isn’t true. I’ll always grieve the loss of my husband. And I  _ will  _ find my son. You talk as though I should forget about Shaun! That won’t ever happen!”

He took her hand. “Guinevere, you must let the past go, and look to the future.”

She pulled her hand away. “No! I won’t give up on my son, no matter how many other children I have!”

Maxson gathered her into his arms. “Alright Guinevere. I didn’t mean to distress you. Of course we’ll find your son, and the Institute will be made to pay for it’s crimes.”

He repeated it like a litany, and Guinevere wondered if he meant any of it at all aside from destroying the Institute.

They returned to the vertibird, and Maxson instructed her on docking with the Prydwen. She did quite well and he was pleased with her, but Guinevere didn’t want to go back out there with him again anytime soon. She felt dirty and tainted, and wondered if the mission was worth it anymore. 

Another week and she’d be going home again. Hopefully Deacon would have contacted RJ and found their spy so she could pass on the intel she had.

It would be a long week.


	31. Vault 81

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere and RJ find a functioning vault; Guinevere receives some shocking news.

* * *

Guinevere lay with her head in RJ’s lap, beneath one of the large trees in their yard. He was gently stroking her hair, telling her about the things he and Hancock had been up to while she was gone. 

The mayor had wandered off to Goodneighbor to check up on it, and Dogmeat was hanging out at Sanctuary. Codsworth floated about checking for repairs that needed doing, and tending the gardens.

The Red Rocket was peaceful.

Guinevere told her husband about her flying lessons, and RJ had been rather unhappy about the familiarity between Maxson and his wife, but he swallowed down his revulsion and told himself it was only for a short time.

“Any news about the Railroad spy?” she asked him.

“Not a word from Deacon,” said RJ. “I thought by now he’d have come and told us something but not a word. Guess it’s harder than they thought to weed out a spy. They got a lot of members now in there.”

“I’m gathering a lot of intel but I can’t give it until that spy is found,” said Guinevere. “And I can’t leave until I’m sure the information can be used to help. Maxson is eventually going to demand more from this  _ relationship _ he thinks we have.”

RJ sighed deeply. “I’m freaked out about that,” he said honestly. “I’m scared he’s going to make you...you know.”

Guinevere turned onto her back and looked at him. “Me too. I don’t want to go there and so far he’s respecting my excuse of not being ready.”

“Yeah that will work for how long Guinny? Can’t you just please take what you got and get out now?”

“Soon, RJ,” she promised. “But you know that if I leave, we’ll have to relocate for awhile? Maxson won’t let me go that easily. After his little speech about wanting me to have his child, he isn’t going to be ok with my leaving.”

“Yeah I never thought about that,” said RJ.  “Well, maybe we need to start scouting out a new home. I think Fairfax is a great place. We could ask them to hide us.”

Guinevere thought about it. How much she loved the people and wanted to go back. “I think that would be a good idea. But Deacon would have to be ok with it too.”

“Huh? Why? We can go where we want!”

“Because of my ties to the Brotherhood. I don’t think Desdemona likes me at all. Deacon seems to defer to her so he might not want us there since it’s a synth stronghold.”

RJ looked down at her. “You’re popping out of your blouse, Guinny,” he said with a grin. “Anyway, I don’t care what he says. If you want to go there then we go, all of us.”

Guinevere tried to pull her blouse closed. “I’ve been eating way too much on the Prydwen,” she said. “I don’t do much physical activity and the food is quite good. I’ve already had to go up one jumpsuit size. I’m a bit embarrassed about it to be honest.”

“Don’t be,” said RJ kindly. “You’re so beautiful either way. You were getting a bit too thin though with all that stress. It’s good to see you glowing like this.”

She laughed softly. “I’m glowing? I better take some Rad-Away!”

“It’s a good glow. Can’t describe it. I just like it though. Means you’re doing well.”

“I’m out of shape and tired all the time. Let’s go scavving RJ.”

“Sure,” he agreed. “Let me get a pack together, and make sure my gun is still in good working order.”

Guinevere sat up. “I’m so lazy!” she laughed. “Part of me wants to just lie here all day with you.”

RJ helped her to her feet laughing. “Don’t tempt me although I can pick a different place to just lie around Guinny!” 

She blew him a kiss as they walked to the garage.

“I need a new weapon,” said Guinevere sadly, looking at Righteous Authority.

“Why, what’s wrong with that one? You love that thing. You always say it’s beast.”

She nodded. “It is and I do...but…”

“It’s a gun, Guinny,” said RJ. “It keeps you alive. Don’t worry about where it came from. If you like it, use it. We can keep an eye out for something else if you want but just use it for now. It’s all good.”

RJ examined his rifle and his .45, loading up his pack with bullets. Guinevere got her 10mm and her laser rifle and donned her courser coat.

“We need to kill another one to get you a coat like this,” said Guinevere.

“Hells yeah!” he cried, and mimicked pointing and shooting. “That was a sick fight though. Those guys are tough.”

“Rare to catch one too. We just got lucky RJ.”

She looked at him for a moment, then took the coat off and handed it to him. “You wear it today. I’ll wear my duster. It’s lighter.”

He took it, his eyes bright. “Thanks Guinny! This is so cool!”

He adjusted it to fit him while Guinevere found her duster and put it on, strapping on her weapons and pack.

She tossed him a pair of sunglasses and donned her own.

The heavy drone of a vertibird engine sounded in the air around them.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” cried RJ, hurriedly picking up his pack.

Guinevere grabbed RJ’s hand and pulled him up through the backyard and in the underbrush, grateful for the thick cover of the trees.

“Go go go!” she laughed. “Run towards that concrete tunnel and we’ll rest in there!”

RJ took the lead, pulling her along and they dove into the tunnel, laughing.

“What if it’s Amanda?” he asked.

“I’m sure it’s not. The engines were too heavy for a regular vertibird.”

RJ sat against the rounded wall of the tunnel, Guinevere beside him.

They heard the vertibird moving closer. Guinevere crawled to the opening and peered outside, careful to stay within the shadows.

“I was right. It’s Maxson,” she said. “So glad we ran.”

“Same here. Why can’t he just leave you alone when you’re home?” Complained RJ.

“He thinks he’s in love with me is why,” said Guinevere wrinkling up her nose.

“Sucks to be him then. You’re mine.”

She crawled back and gave him a kiss. “You betcha!” she said.

They waited until the world was quiet once more then set off. RJ sang and twirled her around a few times, making her laugh.

The day grew hot and they stopped to rest, nibbling on some snacks and drinking the water they brought.

“I’m so horribly out of shape,” lamented Guinevere. “I get tired so easily these days. I have to get back to being more physical. I remember with Danse doing training every day and I felt great.”

“Don’t Scribes train too?” he asked.

“Anyone can,” she answered. “But the Knights have it as part of their daily routine. Scribes and Lancers don’t. We have to make our own schedules.”

“Well don’t do it for looks,” said RJ. “You’re perfect the way you are. And we can rest as much as you want.”

They stumbled upon a few abandoned settlements, killed some feral ghouls and found some interesting things. Nothing of any great value but Guinevere unlocked a safe with a few boxes of ammo and a container of roughly 100 caps. RJ found a bottle of Nuka Cola which he drank up after Guinevere declined it.

There were a few cute cottages they came across in the wilds, but there was so much damage that it didn’t seem worth considering it as a possible residence.

A beeping came from her pip-boy and she suddenly stopped. “RJ, it says there’s a vault nearby here!” 

“Really? Where? Let’s go check it out!”

She followed the signal and they came to a ramshackle fence scattered with small buildings. There was an opening in the rock face that flanked it.

“Aren’t these things supposed to have one of those elevator platform things?” asked RJ.

“Not all do. It just depends where they decided to build them.”

She walked into the opening and turned on the pip-boy light. It was dark and smelled of earth and moisture. She heard RJ take the safety off his weapon and she did the same.  

They descended carefully, the rocky slope uneven. Guinevere turned around and looked up at RJ, silhouetted against the light from outside.

“I’m right here Guinny,” he said softly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  


The tunnel opened out into a well lit area with a catwalk and the familiar control console that managed the heavy vault door. 

Guinevere pulled the key from her pip-boy and inserted it.

“Recognize MacCready, Guinevere Hannah,” said an electronic female voice. “Welcome to Vault 81, Mrs. MacCready.”

“That’s awesome!” exclaimed RJ. “How did you program it that way? We just got married not that long ago!”

“I went to my Vault and reprogrammed it on one of my visits to Sanctuary,” she said. “I was going to take you there and surprise you with the message but I forgot all about it.”

Suddenly a voice sounded over a speaker.

“Hold it right there. Vault 81 security. I don’t know where you got your hands on a working pip-boy but you better start talking.”

“I got it from Vault 111,” said Guinevere.

“Vault 111?” questioned the voice. “Haven’t heard of that one yet. And what sort of business are you looking to take care of here in 81?”

“I’m just a traveller,” she answered. “Just thought I’d take a look around.”

“And you expect me to believe that?” asked the voice.

Another voice chimed in, a woman. “Who is it, Edwards?”

“Ma’am, another new Commonwealth traveller,” said Edwards. “Not one of our usual traders.”

“Well if someone wants in they can earn it like everyone else,” said the woman. “Let me speak to them.”

Her voice became louder as she addressed Guinevere. “Sorry about that. Officer Edwards here was just doing his job. I’m sure you can understand our need for caution. For newcomers we like to operate on exchange. You help us, we help you.”

Guinevere looked at RJ and shrugged. “But I’m a fellow vault dweller. Can’t you just let me in?” she asked.

“Excuse me ma’am,” said Edwards to the woman. “Before you arrived, she did say she was from Vault 111 and she’s in possession of a working pip-boy.”

“Is that so?” said the woman, her voice intrigued. “I’m going to allow it. Edwards, open the door and make the announcement. Officer Edwards and I will meet you at the entrance.”

The heavy vault door rolled away, and a catwalk moved forward to meet them. Guinevere and RJ walked across it towards some people standing at the far end. A woman was arguing with a man about people being overworked and needing a break.

The woman was dressed in a vault jumpsuit and turned to Guinevere with a smile. 

“Sorry about that. As you’ll soon see, we have a few maintenance projects underway. I’m Gwen McNamara, overseer. Welcome to Vault 81.  We’ve never encountered a fellow vault dweller. Is this Vault 111 you mentioned still operational?”

Guinevere shook her head slowly. “No, not anymore.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Gwen. “What happened there? Did something go wrong?”

“They had us cryogenically frozen in these pods. But something malfunctioned. I’m the only survivor.”

Gwen’s face registered horror. “Oh my heavens. All those lives lost due to some malfunction? That’s unacceptable!” 

She shook her head and sighed.

“I suppose we’ve been lucky. Here, we pride ourselves on maintaining a successful vault over these past two centuries. We’d like to be completely self sufficient, but there are certain resources we can’t provide ourselves.”

“Why do you keep yourselves so isolated?” asked Guinevere.

“Why not? We have warm beds, clean clothes, a solid roof over our heads. Our food and water are radiation free. We don’t deal with the elements or raiders. We’re safe here, and for some, that safety and stability is what counts.”

Guinevere sighed. “You’re right to be wary. The Commonwealth is a dangerous place.”

“Exactly why we rely on a select few traders for our needs,” said Gwen.

“By the way, I’m Guinevere MacCready and this is my husband, RJ. I’m impressed you maintained a successful vault for this long.” 

“I owe it to the overseers before me,” said Gwen. “They left detailed notes on how things were done, but it can still be trying at times. Now, I have work to do. If you need anything else, I’ll be in my office.”

She walked away down a corridor.

Guinevere looked around at the reasonably clean and brightly lit vault. “This is what mine used to look like,” she said to RJ.

“I grew up beside one,” he responded. “A lot of bad memories I’d rather forget.”

“I’m sorry RJ. We don’t need to be here if you’d rather leave.”

“No, Guinny, it’s alright. I’m fine.”

He wandered over to a woman in a lab coat who was working on a generator.

“Hey there,” said RJ amiably.

She looked up, scowling, her voice unfriendly. “Great. An outsider. What did they let  _ you  _ in here for?”

“Cool the hostility there, sister!” he said. “Just here to look around, maybe do some trading.”

“Well make it quick” she snapped. “Don’t need  _ your _ kind lingering around here.”

“I’m a fellow vault dweller,” said Guinevere.

“I don’t care where you’re from! It’s not  _ here.” _ She got up and walked away.

Guinevere and RJ exchanged glances, then wandered down a corridor. There were people engaged in various activities, and a few security personnel doing rounds.

A little grey cat suddenly ran out from behind a bulkhead, followed by security.

“Ashes! Hey! Ashes, get back here!” she called out and gave chase. “Erin’s going to be mad at you!”

RJ laughed at the guard’s clumsy attempts to catch the cat. He walked a bit further. “Hey Guinny look. An elevator.” He opened the doors and they got in, taking it down.

A boy of about 10 walked up to them as they exited. “Hi!” he said. “My name’s Austin. Are you really from the Commonwealth?”

“Hey!” said RJ. “Yeah, we are.”

“I knew it!” he cried.

“How did you know?” asked Guinevere.

“My Gran says I have a knack for knowing things. Well, she’s not really my Gran but she acts like it. She’s just Priscilla. When my mom and dad died, she took me in.”

“I’m glad you have someone to take care of you,” said Guinevere.

“We don’t get many visitors,” said Austin. “It’s exciting when we do. I gotta go though. To school. Boy I’ll be glad when I don’t have  to go anymore. I’d rather be with Gran. She makes some good cookies. Gran says I’m a bottomless pit when it comes to food. See ya!”

Austin jogged away with a wave.

They saw a heavyset man hammering away on the edge of a wall. “Be nice to have some good tools to work with!” he grumbled.

“Looks like you got a whole toolbox there,” said RJ, pointing to the red box on the ground.

“It’s full of broken and poorly repaired garbage,” the man said. “Like everything in this forsaken place.”

“Tough break,” said RJ. “Maybe the traders can find you some.”

“They don’t come around as much as they should to be much help.” The man went back to his hammering and nailing.

Guinevere entered a large room, which identified itself as a shop. A man and woman were arguing with one another within.

“You’re gone more than you’re here, Holt,” the woman complained. “What happened to loving husband and father, huh?”

“Stop nagging me, Alexis!” barked Holt.

He turned and saw Guinevere. “So. You’re the new ones. I heard we let some people into the vault. How long do you plan on stickin’ around?” His tone was unfriendly.

"Not sure,” Guinevere answered. “We’ll see.”

“Yeah,” said Holt. “I guess we will. We can take care of ourselves here in 81. We don’t need to be lettin’ in every stray traveller that comes our way.” He rudely turned away and went into the store room.

Guinevere walked back to the woman. She looked tired and unhappy.

“Hi,” said Guinevere.

“Our Commonwealth guest,” said the woman. “Welcome to The Depot, and pardon the clutter. I don’t get much time to tidy up these days. I’m Alexis. Alexis Combes. My husband there is Holt. I apologize for his attitude.”

“I’m Guinevere MacCready and this is my husband RJ. As for your clutter, I didn’t even notice.”

Alexis smiled. “Thanks for being polite. Let me know if there’s something I can get for you. I’ve got a little bit of everything lying around here. When you’re dealing with items that are all over 200 years old, work just accumulates like crazy. Some days it’s all I can do to keep my head above water. But you probably don’t want to hear about all that. Let me know if you want to take a look.”

“Got any comic books or magazines?” asked RJ hopefully.

“I sure do!” said Alexis, and dragged up a small crate.

Delighted, RJ looked at each one, and made a pile of the ones he didn’t have. “I’ll take all these ones!”

“That’s great!” exclaimed Alexis. 

RJ paid for them and put them in his pack.

Guinevere saw a pale green dress on the shelf. "I had one just like this once."

RJ put a few caps down on the counter. "We'll take that too," he said. "Go put it on, Guinny."

Guinevere smiled at him. Alexis reached under the counter. "Here, take these shoes too. The trader gave them to me to wear for Erin's birthday party but they sure didn't fit me. They're a six."

Guinevere took them with thanks. "That's my size!"

She went into the bathroom and changed out of her travel gear. The dress fit her perfectly and RJ whistled at her when she came out.

"You're so beautiful," he said, his eyes filled with adoration.

Alexis looked at the two of them wistfully.

“Come back if you need anything else,” she said as they left.

They walked on, and came across a distressed little girl.

“What’s wrong honey?” asked Guinevere.

“I can’t find my cat,” she said sorrowfully. “He ran out of my room.”

“Is his name Ashes?” asked RJ.

“Yes!” she cried. “Have you seen him? Please tell me you did!”

“Yeah, security was chasing him around down by the entrance.”

The little girl turned and ran towards the stairs, stopping to shout out a thank you.

Guinevere sat down on a bench. “This place is amazing. This is what it would have been like to live in the vault. That’s what they told us would happen. We’d live out our days in relative safety and security. They told us the cryopod was a decontamination device. Lies on top of lies.”

RJ put an arm around her. “I’m sorry Guinny. That was a raw deal you got. Hey you ok? You look a bit pale.”

“I’m just tired is all. The sun and heat and the walking I’m not used to.”

RJ took her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. “Maybe you should see that fancy Brotherhood doc of yours when you go back. He might prescribe you to stay home for good!”

“Being tired is hardly a medical emergency RJ,” she said.

“I’ve never seen you this pale before,” he responded worriedly.

“You’ve never seen me under vault lights really. I’m sure it’s just your perception. Stop worrying so much RJ.”

He gave her a kiss on the forehead, and they leaned back against the wall.

Finally Guinevere got up. “Let’s see what else we can find,” she said.

They wandered around until they found the medbay.

The doctor was sitting at his desk, writing in a folder. He looked up.

“Ah, hello. You must be our visitors. I heard you were also from a Vault. I hope I’m not being presumptuous but I’d like to ask you a favor. In the interest of medical science, I wonder if you’d be willing to donate a blood sample. I don’t get many visitors here willing to do so.”

“Why do you need a blood sample?” asked Guinevere.

“It’s for my research. I’m Dr. Jacob Forsythe. The inhabitants of Vault 81 have been isolated from the Commonwealth for many generations. I’ve been trying to find out what the genetic variation is between the populations.”

“Sure,” said Guinevere. “You can have some blood.”

“Excellent!” exclaimed the doctor.

“I’m going to go and wait out there,” said RJ. “I’d like to keep my blood in my body where it belongs!”

“You big baby!” laughed Guinevere.

The doctor pointed to a chair. “Just have a seat there, and I’ll draw a few vials of blood.”

Guinevere sat down.

“I’m not sure how much my blood will help you,” she said. “I’m from a Vault, but was in cryosleep since the war.”

The doctor stopped what he was doing and stared. “Y...You’re pre war?”

Guinevere nodded. “I am.”

“By the heavens!” he exclaimed. “This will do wonders for my research! Your blood will help more than any other!”

He prepared her arm, and began the task of filling vial after vial.

“Save me some too!” grinned Guinevere.

“Oh I can’t believe my luck in meeting you! I have so many questions for you about the old world!”

“Everyone does,” said Guinevere.

“I’ll get some of my basic tests out of the way first, said Dr. Forsythe. “Why don’t you go to the diner and get something to eat, then come back and we can chat a little. Would that suit you?”

Guinevere stood. “That would be fine. I’ll leave my jacket here.”

RJ was bouncing a ball back and forth with Austin. Guinevere told him about the blood tests and the doctor’s request.

“I can show you where the diner is!” said Austin. “Follow me!”

RJ took Guinevere’s hand.

The diner was clean and looked just like they did in the old world. Guinevere felt a rush of nostalgia.

An older lady approached them. She had a kind face and a soft voice.

“You must be that new traveler Gwen let in. It’s always nice to see a new face around here.”

“I’m Guinevere MacCready and this is RJ. This place is wonderful. It’s just like it used to be, in the old world.”

“Why thank you,” the lady said. “My name is Maria Summerset and this is the Sunshine Diner. We do our best to keep it nice. If you need some food for the road, or just feeling hungry, you let me know. Our menu isn’t as exotic as the Commonwealth, but it’ll do.”

“Do you run this place by yourself?” asked Guinevere.

Maria laughed. “Heavens no! I’d be a wreck! My husband Mark, he helps me. Mostly with the tasting.”

“Is it hard work, feeding everyone here?” asked RJ.

“It used to be easier,” answered Maria. “I was younger and we had more supplies than we could count. My mother taught me recipes that had ingredients that...well...I doubt that you could find them anywhere anymore. Since we started trading, we manage well enough but the variety? Let’s just say it’s more than a bit lacking.”

“Have you ever thought about leaving the vault?” asked Guinevere.

“Never!” exclaimed Maria. “Can you imagine? I was born and raised right here in Vault 81. Sure it’s harder now but we try. Poor Gwen didn’t know what she was getting into when she accepted the role of overseer.”

“How’s Gwen doing as the overseer?” questioned Guinevere.

“It weighs on her, I can tell. We need help from the Commonwealth. But a few people, they don’t care for it. Not to mention the state of the vault. Upkeep’s got people working round the clock these days. Even me! If people are going to be up all night working, they’ll need a good meal to keep them going.”

“Speaking of which,” interjected RJ. “I’m wasting away here. What’s your best meal?”

Maria laughed. “Why don’t you two have a seat and I’ll bring you some lunch.”

Guinevere was happy to sit down in the comfortable booth.

“Is this really like the old world?” asked RJ.

“Definitely,” said Guinevere.

“So what do you think Guinny? We could hide in here pretty good. Away from those Brotherhood jerks. They might need a bit of time to get used to Hancock though.”

“It would be hard on Dogmeat,” she said. “And I’m not so sure about this place. The people don’t seem 100% happy here. After 200 years things are falling apart.”

“Yeah,” agreed RJ. “Fairfax is still our best choice so far than. Think we’ll ever get to go back to the Rocket once we leave? I’m kinda attached to the place.”

Guinevere sighed. “I want to say yes but will any of us ever feel truly safe there? It’s like we’d be looking over our shoulder constantly. I was thinking of giving the place to some settlers. Once Maxson sees it’s been occupied by others maybe he’ll just give up and move on.”

“I’d like to think that too. I just want us to have a life together Guinny. Be safe and happy.”

“Me too RJ.”

Maria brought over a tray filled with food. 

“Oh my goodness!” exclaimed Guinevere. “If this is what you call lacking, I’d love to see what you had before!”

Guinevere and RJ both dug into the meal with zeal, eating every last morsel on the plates, then devouring the dessert.

“I’ll need to go up another size after this meal!” said Guinevere, leaning back.

“I’m stuffed as hell,” sighed RJ.

“This eating will make me sleepy,” she said. “I’ll need a nap before heading home.”

Maria wandered over. “You could stay here,” she said. “We have plenty of guest rooms. Why go back out there and get caught after dark?”

“You do have a point,” said Guinevere. “Well let’s go and speak with the doctor, then ask about those guest rooms.”

RJ helped her up. “You go ahead. I gotta find a bathroom.”

Dr. Forsythe was at the back of the med bay.

“So did you get anything interesting from my blood?” asked Guinevere.

“I was only able to run the basic profile,” he said. “I’m hoping to convince you to return after your baby’s born, so I can get an un-adulterated sample.”

Guinevere furrowed her brow. “I’m sorry...what did you say?”

Dr. Forsythe wrote something down on a pad. “I asked if you would return after your baby’s born.”

Guinevere backed up into the nearest chair and sat down. “My...baby?” she asked, all eyes.

The doctor nodded. “Yes.” But the startled expression on her face told him she’d had no idea. “You mean to tell me you didn’t know?” He asked.

“Didn’t know?” repeated Guinevere dazedly.

“Guinevere, you’re roughly 12 weeks pregnant. The hormones tainted the blood supply.”

She shook her head, still in shock.

RJ came back. “Ok put all the nasty needles away now!”

He saw Guinevere, pale as a ghost, staring at the doctor.

"Guinny? You ok?”

She met his eyes. “I...umm...I’m going to have a baby RJ. I’m pregnant.”

RJ’s jaw dropped and he ran to her side, taking her face in his hands. “You’re sure? How far along?”

“The test says about 12 weeks,” said Dr. Forsythe. “I suppose congratulations are in order?”

Guinevere stood up and hugged RJ, who held her gently and stroked her back. 

“Guinny, this is awesome news. I gotta smarten up and start taking better care of you. I guess this explains why you’ve been so tired and pale, and all the eating! We need to get you into bed to rest.”

Dr. Forsythe watched them with a smile. “Well you are certainly in good hands,” he said to her. “I suppose our chat can wait. Why don’t you go and get settled in one of our guest rooms? Room 2B is nice and roomy. Just head straight down and into the residential quarters.”

Guinevere was quiet as they found the room and she sat down on the bed. RJ opened up his pack, looking for his water to give to her. He turned back to his wife and saw her with her hands over her face, sobbing quietly.

He sat beside her and pulled her close. “Guinny...it’s ok. Our baby’s going to be fine. Don’t worry!”

She shook her head. “RJ...you don’t understand...this baby...I’m not sure whose it is!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I'd have a little fun and put some screenshots in for this chapter. Sadly I don't play on PC but PS4 and my main laptop died so I can't edit out the annoying game radials and extra NPCs like the doc's assistant who isn't in the chapter. 
> 
> If you like the screenshots let me know and I'll try to include other ones going forward.


	32. Made With Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere experiences strong emotions regarding her pregnancy; the MacCready's explore Vault 81 further.

* * *

RJ was confused.  “What do you mean, Guinny? The baby’s ours...yours and mine!”

“No,” said Guinevere miserably. “3 months ago was when I was with Danse, and you and I had that night together.”

RJ thought about it. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” 

He reached a hand out and lay it on her belly. “But Guinny, this is  _ your _ baby too. Ok so maybe it’s  _ not _ mine. But that doesn’t matter to me. I love you. We’re together and that makes us a family.”

Guinevere couldn’t lift her head to look at him. “I’m disgusting,” she said.

“Huh? Why would you say that?”

“I’ve become exactly what I always hated. A woman who couldn’t control herself and ended up with children whose fathers are unknown!”

“That’s not even close!” exclaimed RJ. “It’s me or Danse. And you loved him didn’t you? And you love  _ me _ ?”

She nodded.

“Well this little guy was made with love,” said RJ. “And that’s what matters. A child needs a family. People who love them. That’s us, Guinny. Not like they’re gonna be born wearing T-60 and carrying a laser rifle!”

She had to smile at that. “We were trying for a baby of our own though.”

“And this might be exactly that! So the odds might not be in my favor exactly, but a guy can dream. And I’ll love this baby just as much as I would if it were mine. Because they’re part of  _ you. _ ”

Guinevere wanted to take comfort from his words, but she felt awful. What should have been the happiest announcement had become a source of stress and pain. She desperately wished she knew whose child she was carrying.

RJ wanted nothing more than to be a father again, and Danse...well he wanted nothing  more than to pretend she didn’t exist.

“I want to know though,” she said softly. “More than anything.”

“We’ll figure it out one day,” he said. “But you’ll love them no matter what, right? Guinny, you and Danse were trying for a baby and so were we. Bottom line here is this little guy is  _ wanted _ !”

Guinevere felt conflicted. How could she not love her own child? But the confusion and the doubt made it hard to feel positive about the pregnancy; it reminded her of her lack of self control and loyalty.

“Right now I don’t know how to feel,” she said honestly. “I know I’m supposed to be happy because I want another child. But this just feels so...wrong...now.”

“It’s not wrong,” said RJ gently. “Life is never wrong. As far as I’m concerned, this baby is ours.” He held her and did his best to comfort for a few minutes.

“Guinny, you’re tired,” RJ finally said.  “You need to rest. I’ll stay right here until you wake up. Got a lot of stuff to read!”

Guinevere curled up and he pulled the covers over her.

“RJ?” she asked.

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know if I should tell him. Danse. About this.”

RJ sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I can’t really help with that. The way you describe his attitude I’d say no. But you know him better than I do. Gotta ask yourself what you want to gain from it either way. Whatever you decide though, I’m with you.”

Guinevere fell silent then, and soon he heard her breathing even out. RJ pulled his comics and magazines out of his pack and sat back in a chair. But instead of reading, he found himself watching her while she slept.

* * *

When Guinevere awoke, they went out to find the doctor and talk to him. He was fascinated by the old world, and wanted to compare the stories he’d heard and read to a first hand account. He picked Guinevere’s brain on the cryosleep and she told him that he could always travel to Vault 111 if he was curious. He was quite nervous at the suggestion.

She told him as much as she could, and was surprised by how such an educated man could have no idea of the outside world. He’d barely heard of the Institute, had never heard of the Brotherhood or the Railroad, and trying to explain synths was just not happening. Then she mentioned ghouls and his brain exploded. The isolated lifestyle of Vault 81 had stunted their mental growth, and none of them were even remotely prepared to handle life in the Commonwealth should anything befall their Vault.

Things were falling apart and failing little by little, and already they were relying on traders to sustain them. Their suspicion and hostility to newcomers would come back to bite them in the long run.

Guinevere and RJ did their best to tell the good doctor that he needed to help prepare people for the eventuality that they would have to integrate. The best place to start would be with the children, as there might never be a sustainable Vault for the next generation.

Dr. Forsythe made many notes, and asked that they speak with Gwen about it as well. As the overseer, she had a lot of clout with the residents. And while many might be resistant, introducing the idea that things would have to change, would make it easier going forward.

“We need to get some more food into you,” said RJ as they stepped out into the corridor. “How you doing, Guinny?”

“Just fine,” she said. “I think.”

RJ gave her belly a gentle rub.

Maria welcomed them back to the diner, and several people were seated having a meal. A few looked up and waved, the rest ignored them completely.

RJ ordered a bit of everything it seemed, because Guinevere couldn’t decide what she wanted. He teased her about it as she ate her way around several plates and was glad to see her smile again.

“It’s nice not to have to worry about anyone bothering you,” said RJ. “We should stay here awhile. Maybe even for good. How about not going back at all? To that airship I mean. Why not just call it quits now? You’ve already got a lot of intel. I’m thinking you have better things to worry about than saving the world.”

Guinevere sighed deeply. “There’s a lot of info I don’t have yet. Mostly about any planned attacks. I also want to know which buildings they’re trying to take over. The files I’m using are a huge mess, all the new intel is somewhere else, and that’s what I need to get my hands on. The trouble is, I’ve got no idea how to do that without looking suspicious.”

“I don’t like the risks you’re taking,” said RJ. “Especially now. You’re pregnant, Guinny. You need to take care of our baby and yourself more than anything else!”

“And that’s what I’m doing, RJ. I want them to grow up in a world free of hate and intolerance. I don’t want the Commonwealth ruled by an arrogant dictator. And if we let the Brotherhood run around unchecked, that’s what our child will be stuck living in.”

“It’s just a place, Guin. The world is big. We can move elsewhere.”

“You don’t understand, do you?” she asked softly. “This is  _ my  _ city. I grew up here. Generations of my family came from here. I can’t stand by and watch it fall for selfish reasons. I need to try and save it. Does any of this even make sense to you?”

He tried. He really did. But in the end all he could see was his wife, the mother of what was hopefully his child, risking her life for a bunch of strangers. 

“I can’t get behind it,” he said. “I just want to see you safe and cared for. I’m not into this big picture. I’m into the small picture. The one of me and you and our baby. Nothing else matters to me. Please Guinny. Do it for me. For the baby. Get out of the Brotherhood.”

She looked stressed and he reached out to take her hand. “Ok...let’s get some dessert. We can continue checking the place out if you’re up for it after.”

She nodded and RJ beckoned Maria over.

The usually vivacious and lively Guinevere was quiet as they ate. Seeing her subdued was a concern to him. She should have been ecstatic about the pregnancy but she wasn’t.

_ That’s ok Guinny _ , he thought.  _ I’m excited enough for a whole city. Can’t believe I’m going to be a dad again! _

RJ started talking to fill the silence. He shared creepy capital wastes stories about the centaurs and other horrors he’d encountered. He described the cave he’d grown up in, and what it was like to be the mayor. It wasn’t new information, he’d shared all of it before multiple times.

Guinevere ate her dessert and listened to him, enjoying the sound of his voice and the sweet way his eyes softened when he looked at her. They were such a lovely shade of blue. Warm, unlike Maxson’s. But nothing like the chestnut brown eyes of Eric Danse.

_ Eric. I’m carrying the child you and I both wanted. The start of our own little family. Do you want to know? If I tell you and you look at me, will you stop hiding from what we shared?  _ Her hand crept to her belly.

RJ noticed the gesture and kept talking.  _ Good,  _ he thought.  _ Maybe she’s coming around now. _

Guinevere didn’t know what to do. Half of her felt one way, half felt the other.

“Got any ideas for names?” asked RJ.

“Eric Evan for a boy,” said Guinevere.

“Nice!” RJ was a bit hurt that she didn’t want to name the baby after him but he figured she realized the deck was stacked against his being the father. Still, if the baby was born and looked like him, would she want a different name?

“What...what if he’s mine Guinny?”

She shrugged. “Then he can be Evan Robert Joseph.”

Her eyes were sad, and RJ wanted to rip the pain from her and replace it with the joy she should be feeling. Instead, he asked about a little girl’s name.

“Christina Charlotte,” she replied.

“Love that! Lots of cute nicknames in there. Chris, Chrissy, Charlee. Maybe she’ll look just like you. A miniature Guinny. Be so great!”

“As long as they’re healthy and happy,” she said. “Really that’s the most important part.”

_ I still don’t know what to do about Eric though,  _ she thought.

“Hey,” said RJ gently. “It’s going to be ok Guinny. I swear it. I know it feels like this big thing right now, but it isn’t. Everything will work out like it should.”

He stood up and helped her slide out of the booth. He noticed how a button on the chest portion of her outfit was precariously close to letting go.

She followed his eyes and pulled it closed. “RJ!”

He laughed and kissed her. “What? Can’t a guy appreciate all parts of his wife? It’s beautiful Guinny. Your body is doing what it’s supposed to be doing.”

“I guess it is, but I don’t want that  _ appreciation  _ to spread around to everyone else!”

“Let’s see if the shop has any shirts that might fit better,” suggested RJ. “Or maybe we should wear one of those vault suits. They look comfortable.”

“They are,” she agreed. “I have one at home somewhere.”

Alexis Combes did have several vault suits available. When Guinevere had changed into hers, RJ saw the distinctive curve of her belly. At three months pregnant, she was already beginning to show.

He turned her to the mirror. “Look at that Guinny,” he said tenderly, running his hands over her belly. “The little guy is already making his presence known.”

Alexis overheard him. “You’re expecting?” she asked joyfully.

Guinevere nodded with a small smile.

“Congratulations! When are you due?”

“Six months or so,” answered Guinevere.

Alexis beamed. “A new life is such a wonderful gift. I remember when my Erin was born. She was the tiniest little thing, and we worried she’d be sickly but she wasn’t. To see her now you’d never know!”

Guinevere had seen several children running about but Austin was the only one she knew by name.

As if on cue, a little girl came running into the shop, holding a grey cat.

“Mom!” she cried. “I got an award at school, for my story about Ashes!”

“That’s wonderful!” cried Alexis. “Have you met our visitors, Erin?”

The girl nodded. “They helped me find Ashes earlier. He almost got out of the vault. Can you imagine if that happened?”

“You need to keep a closer eye on him, Erin,” cautioned Alexis. “Next time you may not be so lucky.”

“I will mom, promise,” Erin said. “Where’s dad?”

Alexis’ face instantly became pinched and she shrugged. “Who knows? He’s supposed to be here, but as usual…” She stopped short and offered Erin a snack cake.

“No thanks mom, me and Austin are going to do some drawing. He’s going to teach me how to draw a cow!” She didn’t wait for a reply and bounded out again with her cat in her arms.

“I don’t mean to pry,” said Guinevere. “But is everything ok between you and Holt?”

Alexis sighed and leaned on the counter. “It hasn’t been for quite sometime. He was such a wonderful man when we met. Attentive and helpful and a great father. The last several months though, he’s changed. He has no interest in the shop, or me and worse, he’s an absentee father to Erin.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” commiserated Guinevere. 

“The worst part,” continued Alexis. “Is that I hear things in the vault.”

“What kind of things?” asked Guinevere.

“That Holt’s been messing around with Tina DeLuca,” said Alexis miserably.

“That’s terrible! Who is she?”

“Just another resident here. She has a brother, Bobby. He’s an addict. No matter how much they try and hide it, that’s what he is, and she’s the one supplying him with the drugs.” Alexis looked disgusted. 

“I’m sorry Alexis. That’s a very sad thing to live with,” said Guinevere sadly. “I hope things get better for you both.”

Alexis gave her a small smile. “You’re the first person I’ve met that actually cares, thank you.”

RJ grinned. “That’s my Guinny. She saved me from myself too.” He touched her cheek. “She’s one special lady.”

Alexis insisted they take the Vault suits at no charge. Guinevere and RJ stepped back into the main area.

“I wonder where we haven’t been yet?” she asked.

“Austin said there’s a school. Let’s go check that out,” suggested RJ.

They found the teacher, Katie, in the classroom preparing the lesson for the following day.

“Welcome!” she said with a smile. “I heard we had some visitors from the Commonwealth. I’d hoped to see you while the children were still here. They love to hear the stories from above. Will be you staying overnight?”

Guinevere nodded. “Yes. There’s so much to explore here. It’s interesting to see a Vault that’s operational.”

“Oh that’s right!” exclaimed Katie. “I heard you were from a Vault too, but are you really pre-war?”

“I sure am,” said Guinevere.

“I would love to talk to you about that, but I’m sure you’re sick of retelling the same stories over and over. I’d be so happy for you to come and speak with the children tomorrow, if you’re able to?”

“I can do that. I don’t mind talking about the old world. Everyone is curious yes but they do usually ask different questions.”

Katie was delighted. “Wonderful! Thank you very much!”

RJ looked around. “So this is what a working schoolroom looks like.”

“You never went to school?” asked Katie in astonishment.

“I’m from the capital wastes. Grew up in a cave and taught myself to read and write.”

“A cave! How awful for you! Your parents must have had a very hard time.”

“Didn’t have any parents,” said RJ. “Place was called Little Lamplighter. Just kids there, no adults. When you turned 16 you had to leave and make your own way.”

Katie’s eyes were large and filled with awe. “How sad! I’m very sorry!”

“It wasn’t bad. It’s all I knew. We grew up fast though. If you didn’t, you died. We learned what we needed to learn to survive. I was even the mayor of the place for awhile.”

Katie shook her head. “And here we are living safe and sheltered our entire lives, while there are people like you suffering horribly out there.”

“Life isn’t that bad up there,” said RJ. He looked at Guinevere. “Not anymore. Not since I found  _ her.” _

Katie smiled. “I think the children will be delighted to have you visit.”

“It’s very important for them to learn about the outside world,” said Guinevere. “I’m sure you’re aware that this Vault won’t last forever and one day they will need to integrate with the Commonwealth.”

Katie sighed deeply and nodded. “I’ve been aware of it since I was a child. Things aren’t great here and we do need to consider that, but some people here are so resistant to any change. The thought of going topside terrifies them.”

“The older generation might never acclimate,” said Guinevere. “But the children can. They’re open to learning about the world at large, and they’ll become adults who are more accommodating to new ideas like leaving. I can’t stress that enough.”

“Having people like you come and talk to them will help. Real stories from real people are better than the tired old videos and lessons from 200 years ago.”

“I agree with that,” said Guinevere. “I don’t live far from here, I’d be happy to come back from time to time and help you.”

“I’d love that, but you might want to talk to Gwen first. To be honest I’m not sure where she stands on the whole outside world thing. She governs by copying the overseers before her. That doesn’t always work.”

Guinevere nodded. “I plan on talking to her. I’ve already spoken to Dr. Forsythe. He’s open to the idea and has even specified an interest in meeting one of the new species of human.”

Katie blinked. “New species of human?”

RJ chuckled. “Here we go.”

“Some people who were inundated by radiation didn’t die, but were altered. We call them ghouls.” Guinevere did her best to describe what they looked like.

“I can’t believe it!” exclaimed Katie. 

“My best friend is a ghoul,” said Guinevere. “He’s a wonderful man named John Hancock.”

“Like one of the founding fathers?” asked Katie.

“Exactly!”

“I wish I could meet him,” said the teacher wistfully.

“I’d be happy to bring him for a visit, but I definitely need to make sure Gwen is ok with that first. People need to be educated on what a ghoul is before I’ll bring my friend here. It would be best to introduce the idea of him first I think.”

Katie asked about feral ghouls and super mutants, and Guinevere and RJ did their best to speak candidly without frightening her. She was curious and open minded and this was a good thing. It meant her students would be as well.

Guinevere leaned against the wall, the children’s desks were too small to accommodate an adult.

RJ took her hand. “Let’s go to our room Guinny,” he said gently. “You need to rest. It’s been a pretty big day for you.”

Katie looked at them quizically.

RJ grinned and touched his wife’s belly. “We found out today that Guinny’s three months pregnant!”

“Oh my goodness!” cried Katie. “Congratulations! Oh please don’t let me keep you. I’ll see you tomorrow if you’re still up for it!”

Guinevere wanted to have a shower and was happy to see a clean bathroom with nice hot water.

“Can I come in there with you?” asked RJ. “I’ll wash your back! And anything else that’s dirty…”

Guinevere wanted some alone time, to think and process her day. “I’d just rather have some quiet and time to myself, RJ.”

He nodded but looked slightly downcast. “I’ll be out here waiting my turn then.”

“Thank you,” she said and closed the door.

She sighed as the water poured over her, relaxing her tight muscles and washing away the dust and dirt of the day. She washed her hair, then the rest of her. She looked down at her belly, the slight swelling already beginning. She rubbed it gently, imagining the tiny curled up baby inside her.

_ Who do you belong to little one? Will you have Danse’s wonderful dark eyes or RJ’s bright blue ones? Perhaps will you take after me? Will you be serious like Eric or playful and silly? _

Tears filled her eyes again. She realized that RJ was right, it didn’t matter who the father was. She loved her baby already and always would. She had dearly loved Danse, and hated to admit that she still did. But RJ was her husband, and he had been loving and loyal to her for a long time. She had no doubts he’d always be there for her and the baby even if it turned out to be Danse’s. The odds were in the Paladin’s favor, but it could still go either way. She wouldn’t know until the child was born, and even then, if they didn’t look like either Danse or RJ it might be longer before she could figure it out. 

She stayed in the shower for a long time. Pondering how much longer to stay in the Brotherhood if at all. 

_ Life is so complicated now, _ she thought.  _ I’m expecting another child and I haven’t even found the first one yet. How will I manage that? _

Feeling overwhelmed, Guinevere finished up and wanted to crawl into bed and sleep. She didn’t want to talk or have to think anymore.

“Hey beautiful,” he said as she emerged. She’d dried her hair and put on a large shirt she’d bought from the store.

She crept onto the bed and curled up. “I’m tired RJ. Go enjoy your shower. I’ll see you in the morning.”

He looked at her for a long moment. “Is it ok if I hold you after?”

She nodded noncommittally. “If you want.”

RJ gave her a smile then closed the door.

She was fast asleep by the time he was done. He hadn’t bought a sleep shirt and had washed his underclothes in the sink so he got into bed naked. He carefully hugged Guinevere close, his hand gently resting on her belly.

“I love you,” he whispered close to her ear.

For the rest of the night, RJ barely slept and wondered what he’d done wrong and if his marriage was as solid as he hoped. This was because, in response to his loving declaration, Guinevere had murmured quite clearly  _ I love you too, Eric. _


	33. What Memories Remain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere and RJ have a serious difference of opinion; Guinevere settles into life on the Prydwen and makes a determination about Danse.

* * *

RJ was up before Guinevere in the morning and went to the diner to get some breakfast for them.

“Well good morning!” said Maria with a smile. “Are you looking for a hearty meal to start your day? Where’s your lovely wife?”

RJ tried to appear chipper. “She’s asleep. The baby’s sapping her energy.”

Maria looked surprised. “She’s with child is she? What a blessing! Congratulations to you both. When is she due?”

“6 months give or take,” said RJ.

Maria was happy for them. As she put together a breakfast tray, she told RJ how her and Mark had never had any kids, as they didn’t think it was fair for yet another generation to grow up under the ground in a Vault which had seen better days.

There was no sense in disagreeing with her. The Summersets were both in their 60’s and it was too late to change their mind.

RJ brought the tray back to their room and set it down quietly on the table. He looked over at Guinevere, peacefully asleep, her hair spread out around her on the pillow and her hands beneath her chin.

He felt crushed by her sleep talk. It was obvious that Hancock had been right. She hadn’t been ready to marry him. She was still hung up on Danse.

_ How do I get her over him?  _ He asked.  _ What can I do to make her happy with me? I want everything back the way it used to be. Before Danse. When it was just me and her. _

RJ sat down and tried to read one of the comics he’d bought. But his mind was wandering.

_ Does she even want this baby to be mine? _

It was an unhappy thought and he shoved it to the back of his mind as quickly as he could but it was replaced by another equally awful thought.

_ Does Guinny regret marrying me? _

Guinevere stirred before his tortured mind could ruminate further, and stretched her arms out, her eyes opening sleepily.

“RJ?” she said softly.

He was at her side in an instant. “Yeah Guinny I’m right here. Everything ok?”

He took her hand and pressed it to his lips for a moment.

She stretched her legs out and nodded. “I think so. I don’t feel sick or anything.”

“Good to hear,” he said, mustering up a smile. “I got us some breakfast. You feel up to eating some?”

Guinevere sat up and ran her hands through her dishevelled hair. She’d gone to bed with it still slightly damp, and the waves had been squished and molded by the pillow, making it look curlier.

“Your hair is cute like that,” said RJ appreciatively.

“I bet I look like Medusa,” she replied.

“Who’s that?” he asked.

Guinevere laughed. “A mythological being who was a woman at the top, a snake at the bottom and her eyes stare could turn you to stone! Plus she had snakes for hair too!”

RJ blinked. “You old worlders had some crazy ass stories Guinny. I need you to tell me more of them.”

Guinevere got out of bed and went to the bathroom. She came out a few minutes later with her hair brushed and her face washed.

She took off her sleep shirt and RJ saw the swell of her belly.

“Aw, Guinny,” he said tenderly, reaching out his hands and running them over her ribs and the little bump. “12 weeks huh? Now that you know, can you tell you’re pregnant? Do you feel different?”

She nodded. “I’ve been feeling odd for awhile now. I was aware I’d missed my cycles, but that hasn’t been unusual since I woke up in the Vault. The stress plus the food and water changes...all of that could have been the cause. I’ve not had any nausea so it never occurred to me I might be pregnant.”

RJ smiled at her. “Looking back on all the little things you said, it seems so obvious to me. Your being tired and gaining weight and being paler than usual. Makes sense now.”

“I guess it does.” She pulled her vault suit on. “I’d like to get Katie and the doctor and Gwen together to talk about the future of Vault 81.”

“You don’t need to save the world Guinny. We have enough on our plate now.”

“These people matter, RJ. They need real help, not the occasional visit from traders.”

“I get that,” he said, somewhat irritated. “But why does it always have to be  _ you _ playing superhero? Someone else can do it this time.”

“Who?” she asked. “Who else is there who’d bother to help out a bunch of Vault dwellers? The Railroad? They only care about synths and finding the Institute. The Brotherhood? They only care about finding tech and the Railroad. I’m not even sure how much  _ they _ care about finding the Institute!”

“What about Preston and his gang?” asked RJ.

“Are you serious?” exclaimed Guinevere. “From the moment I helped them out of Concord, Preston has cared about one thing only: settlements. He’ll run hither and yon for a group of settlers but he’s never kept his promise to help me find Shaun. So no, he’s not going to do this.”

“Come on,” argued RJ. “This Vault is a settlement! Getting these people out and resettled as part of the Commonwealth is the same thing he’s doing for others!”

Guinevere bristled. “These people here aren’t going to suddenly pack up and move out, RJ. Their exodus might take generations. Right now they won’t see a reason to leave as long as this Vault is still operational, which it is. The trouble for them will come someday down the road. The goal for them right now is to start learning about the Commonwealth, to wrap their brains around integration someday. Educating the children about the world at large. Giving them survival skills. That isn’t something Preston will do. It’s up to us. Me, you and Hancock.”

Agitated, RJ got up and walked around the room. “I’m not getting this whole saving the world thing! Why can’t you just focus on  _ us _ ? On you and me and the baby?”

“What’s there to focus on?” She asked, now becoming agitated herself. “I’m pregnant. I need to finish my mission on the Prydwen before it gets too obvious. I need to help these people before travelling becomes an issue. Selfishness won’t fix the world, RJ!”

“What about Maxson?” he asked.

“What  _ about _ him? He doesn’t need to know about my pregnancy. I’ll be gone before anyone figures it out.”

“What if you can’t stop him from...taking you?” RJ struggled to even speak the words. The mere thought of it angered him.

“He’s not going to do that!” cried Guinevere. “He’s an honorable man, not a rapist! Maxson has been kind to me the entire time I’ve been there.”

RJ couldn’t help but give a barking laugh. “Honorable man?  _ That _ asshole? Guinny I’m getting the feeling that you actually like the attention he gives you! Sure doesn’t look to me like you’re protesting overly much!”

He knew he’d spoken out of turn when he saw the expression on her face. Her eyes filled with hurt and she set her jaw, turning away from him and looking for her boots.

She sat down and pulled them on.

“Guinny...I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

She refused to look at him.

“Come on,” he pleaded. “Say something to me. I said I’m sorry. I’m an asshole sometimes, I’m working on fixing that. I never want to hurt you, ever!”

Guinevere ignored him completely. She was doing her best to keep her mind occupied so she didn’t start to cry.

RJ stood up and caught her arm, trying to pull her towards him, but she jerked it free and left the room.

Devastated, he sat down hard on a nearby chair.  _ Brilliant move, MacCready,  _ he said to himself.  _ When are you gonna learn to keep your goddamn mouth shut? _

Guinevere went to the diner and ordered some food, and found the furthest corner in which to sit. Maria thought she had come for seconds, and Guinevere did her best to put on a front.

She wanted to be alone. She wanted some time to herself without Hancock or Maxson or RJ around. She was surrounded by people all the time on the Prydwen. There was only privacy at night in her room and by then she was so tired she’d just pass out.

She had duties to attend to on the Prydwen, and Maxson to deal with. It stung her to the core to think that RJ believed she  _ enjoyed _ the attention from him. She was only there to fulfill her promise to Deacon.

RJ had always been the sweet one, the funny one, the one who comforted her and protected her. She couldn’t believe he’d said such a hurtful thing. 

_ Well, he doesn’t have to help if he doesn’t want to,  _ she thought.  _ I know what I need to do and I’ll do it alone if I have to. I can’t imagine John refusing to help me. _

Her anger and stubbornness rose up like a sea monster and roared in defiance. She sat, sulking, with her lips tight and eyes narrowed.

A twinge from her abdomen brought her back to herself. She gently lay a hand on her belly.

_ Maybe RJ is right,  _ she thought.  _ Maybe taking on this Vault is just too much right now. They’ve been here for over 200 years. The Vault won’t quit over night. Yes they need help but it’s not an emergency. _

Guinevere had a hard time with simply walking away without putting a solid plan in place, but she had to admit that her baby and her husband needed to come first. She’d already committed to spying on the Prydwen. And her days in the Brotherhood were now truly numbered.  She couldn’t put more on her plate. Vault 81 would have to wait for another time.

Gwen McNamara found her in her corner and asked if she could sit down.

“I want to congratulate you,” she said. “Jacob told me about your baby. What a way to find out!”

“I’m still in shock,” said Guinevere, then changed the subject. “But RJ is delighted!”

Gwen made small talk for a few minutes, then Guinevere decided it was time to let her know what their plans were.

“Gwen, I’ve had a chance to talk with Dr. Forsythe and with the teacher, Katie. I know this Vault needs a great deal of help, but right now, I just can’t take on anything else.

Gwen nodded. “I wasn’t expecting anything from you, but I thank you for the sentiment.”

“I will come back and help you someday, but right now I need to focus on my growing family. I hope you understand, Gwen. You're doing a great job with this Vault, and a few months to a year won’t see it fall to wreck and ruin. I will make sure to send another merchant or two your way on a regular basis. That’s the least I can do.”

Gwen appreciated the compliment. She had to deal with complaints and dissent all day long and a pat on the back was in short supply. The residents were good people, but they were stressed by the situation too. More merchants would surely help. 

“I’m curious, Guinevere,” said the Overseer. “When you said you wanted to help, what did you mean, exactly?”

“The bottom line here, Gwen,” said Guinevere as kindly as she could. “Is that this Vault is on borrowed time. The current children might not have a sustainable home as they reach adulthood. If they aren’t prepared to integrate with the Commonwealth that will be a death sentence to them. There are other species of human out there that all of you need to meet. This won’t be easy for any of you because you’ve been so cloistered for so long. But integration...it has to happen one day.”

Gwen looked curious. “Other species of human? I don’t understand.”

Guinevere grinned. “Yes. We call them ghouls. They’re just people whose bodies mutated to accommodate the radiation rather than die from it. They can be a bit of a shock at first.”

Gwen sighed. “I suppose it’s inevitable.”

“It is,” agreed Guinevere. “But starting with the children is the best idea. They are young and their minds are open. But this is all in the future.”

“Will you be leaving us soon then?” asked Gwen.

“Yes. I did promise Katie that I’d do a visit with her class, but then RJ and I do need to get back home. I’ll be sure to leave you a map of where I live, so if anything happens someone can get a message to me.”

She quickly explained her two weeks with the Brotherhood, and while Gwen didn’t grasp exactly what it was all about, she realized she would be able to get help if needed through RJ. 

“Just think of us as your first contact to the outside world,” said Guinevere with a smile.

Gwen took her leave, and finishing up her meal, Guinevere drank her tea and wondered when school would start for the kids so she could visit them like she promised Katie.

Guinevere rose from the booth and wandered out into the main area. People were starting to emerge and begin their day. 

She saw children running around playing before heading off to school. There were more of them than she’d thought, and she briefly wondered how it would have been if she, Nate and Shaun had ended up living in the Vault like they thought they would have.

Her mind wandered to Nick and if he was making any headway with the cybernetics they’d found on Kellogg. She knew she needed to pay him a visit, and Piper as well, but there was just too much going on. And now this pregnancy on top of it all.

With a deep sigh Guinevere rubbed her belly, wanting to connect with this baby the way she had with Shaun from the moment she found out about him.

So often when she and Danse had been together she imagined him interacting with her pregnant belly, talking to their child, and even holding them. She saw him with a little boy with the same soft dark eyes and dark hair. The thoughts would make her smile and if he caught her he’d ask what she was thinking about. Always, when she told him, he would give her that loving smile and embrace her.

Guinevere felt tears prickle her eyes and realized that she’d wandered off the beaten path. The area she found herself in looked unfinished, and she turned to go.

A shape blocked her path.

“Hey,” said a male voice. 

She couldn’t see him clearly due to the light behind him. 

“Got any jet?” he asked softly. “Just need a hit. Got the jitters something bad right now.”

“I can’t help you with that, sorry,” said Guinevere and took a step forward, expecting him to back up. He didn’t.

“Come on. You’re from up there. You people always have the good stuff. Just one hit.”

Guinevere didn’t have her weapons on her. She didn’t think she’d need them in the Vault. At the very least, Danse had taught her some unarmed combat and while she wasn’t that great at it, it would hopefully be enough to ward off this addict.

“Please excuse me,” she said and tried to step past him.

“You bitches are all the same!” he growled. “I’ll make this easy on you. Give me what you got and we both walk away happy.”

He stepped forward and grabbed her by the arms.

“Let go!” cried Guinevere. “I don’t have any chems! I’m not a trader.”

Before she could make another move, she heard the sharp click of a weapon.

“Hey asshole!” said RJ. “You let go of her nice and easy. I don’t know you and I won’t have a problem ending your sorry ass right here and now.”

The man cussed under his breath as he released her, and Guinevere sidled past him in the narrow space.

“I don’t know what your deal is,” said RJ, his voice hard. “And I don’t care. You stay the hell away from me and my wife, you got it?”

The man twitched. “Just asking her about something. No harm done, man.”

“Right,” said RJ. “Just remember what I said. Now get out of here.”

He turned around and Guinevere threw herself into his arms. “Hey beautiful, are you alright? That jackhole didn’t hurt you did he?”

Guinevere shook her head. “He unnerved me. He was looking for chems. I think that’s the guy that Alexis told us about.”

RJ scowled. “They need to do something about him. If he’s a chemhead without a fix, things could get bad around here. Gonna mention it to Gwen. There’s kids here.”

Guinevere held tight to him for a few minutes as he stroked her back.

“Listen, Guinny,” he began, but she cut him off with a kiss.

“No, _you_ listen,” she said, drawing back. “You’re right, RJ. I can’t take on anything else. This Vault needs to wait. You and our baby need to come first now.”

His eyes softened and lit up. “I was so scared you were going to stay pissed off at me. I’m really sorry I said the things I did. That will never happen again, Guinny I swear.”

She hugged him tight. “It’s _going_ to happen, RJ. We won’t always agree on everything but we’re best friends right? And that means we’ll always work things out.”

“You’re one in a billion,” he said softly. “I’ll never know what I did to deserve you because I don’t. I love you so much.”

She smiled then and they spent a few minutes just reconnecting. Then Guinevere remembered Katie and her class.

“Let’s go then,” said RJ. “We’ll wow the little guys.”

* * *

The two of them entertained Katie’s classroom with stories of Deathclaws and giant bugs, always making sure the children knew that these things could be beaten.

There were questions about raiders and feral ghouls and super mutants.

Guinevere told them about the Prydwen and they were riveted. Even mention of vertibirds was a novelty as none of them had seen more than a picture of one.

Some of the older children asked about the war, but there wasn’t much she could tell them other than her own experience in her Vault.

“You went to sleep for 200 years?” asked a little girl.

“I sure did!” Laughed Guinevere.

“You must have been starving when you woke up!” cried Austin.

The others laughed.

“You must have had to pee really bad!” said another.

Guinevere smiled. “Cryo sleep makes everything stop. So you feel the same way when you wake up than you did when you went to sleep. I didn’t have to pee,” she added. “But I was rather hungry, yes.”

Katie reminded them to raise their hands to speak, but the children’s exuberance was hard to contain.

RJ told them about the capital wastes, and how he grew up in a cave. The kids were entranced by the idea of growing up without adults, thinking, of course it was nothing but a good time. The reality of how lonely it was seemed to have a sobering effect on them and they were glad that they had parents or other caregivers.

Finally, Katie decided it was time to get on with their regular lessons. The children groaned and fussed. They didn’t want the MacCreadys and their fantastic stories to leave. 

It was obvious that they were very interested in the world around them. None of them showed much fear about the dangers up above. It was encouraging and something to build upon going forward.

Exiting the classroom, Guinevere felt suddenly tired and wanted to lie down. RJ took her hand and led her back to the room, where she pulled off her boots and curled up under the covers with a sigh.

She awoke several hours later, ensconced in RJ’s warm embrace. She was lying with her head on his chest and her arms wrapped around him. Her sleeping self must have needed the comfort.

“I don’t remember you coming to bed,” she said softly.

“I was just gonna sit here with you but you rolled over and hugged me,” he said. “Guinny I gotta ask...this is really killing me. Do you...regret...marrying me?”

She sat up and looked into his eyes. “I might be a huge mess of conflict inside, but in no way do I  _ regret  _ marrying you, RJ. Yes, I may need time alone to process what I’m feeling, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you around. I love you RJ. I loved you pretty damn soon after we met. Don’t ever forget that.”

He drew her back down and kissed her tenderly. “I’m so happy to hear that,” he whispered.

Guinevere nestled back into his arms, and RJ kissed the top of her head, caressing her gently. “Go back to sleep Guinny. You still sound tired.”

Their time at Vault 81 came to a close and Guinevere and RJ said their goodbyes to the residents, promising to send more merchants and to visit again some day, with their new baby.

It was a long walk home, but there was plenty of time to rest on the journey, and the trip did help tighten up their bond. 

* * *

Her two weeks at home ended far too quickly and Guinevere packed up and got ready to head for the landing zone and summon a vertibird.

RJ leaned against the doorframe and watched her. “Guinny-veer,” he said softly. “I want you to know I love you. With all my heart. I’ll be here waiting when you come back.”

She looked at him for a long moment, his eyes soft and sad. She sighed and went to him, putting her arms around his neck.

“I’m going to miss you, RJ. I know this whole thing is hard for you. For both of us really. Being pregnant doesn’t make it easier, hormones and all.” She kissed him tenderly.

He returned her kiss, his body aching to make love to her, to show her how much he needed her. But there wasn’t time. “Just take care of our baby,” he whispered. “And be careful.”

“I will,” she promised. “You need to get in touch with Deacon. My time up there is ending and they need to find that spy. Maybe he needs help with this.”

“I’ll find him,” said RJ. 

Guinevere gave him one final kiss and picked up her pack.

* * *

As time went on, Guinevere discovered she was content on the Prydwen. She came to realize that she had friends there, and enjoyed their company. Not all of them had the same black and white attitude that Maxson did.

Even Maxson was starting to soften slightly because of her. He had loosened up and didn’t worry her nearly as much.

They were in the mess hall playing an old world card game that she was trying to teach him. He couldn’t understand what to do and scowled and griped until Guinevere would laugh at him.

When he finally did manage to best her, he laughed, a deep and joyful sound that made her smile.

She got to see another side of him. Not the stalwart serious Elder, but the youthful, playful man that lay behind the title. He shared with her his memories of growing up in the capital wastes and she enjoyed the stories. She realized one day that somewhere along the lines they had become friends, although she was well aware that his feelings for her were much more than that.

Maxson’s inexperience and awkwardness in regards to relationships was a good thing, and as arrogant as he could be, he treated her with respect, and even reverence at times.

Guinevere took his vertibird out on a few occasions with Amanda and once with Cade to tend to a wounded soldier at an outpost. She enjoyed flying, although it was still a bit intimidating, and going on those short missions to help someone gave her a sense of purpose.

Quinlan warmed up to her and shared his “happy files” as Liz called them. Guinevere was a bit shocked. The man was a good artist but he drew some rather interesting images. Most of them quite sexual in nature, of his favorite comic book character pairings. Guinevere had suggested that he keep it secret as she couldn’t imagine what Maxson would think if he saw it.

“Oh he’s seen it many times,” said Quinlan proudly. “He likes them.”

Guinevere thought she made a surprised yip sound.

Her place among the crew was smoothed out and she knew most of them by name. She spent some time in Engineering, where she saw that bothersome scribe whose face she was sure she knew.

No one had anything negative to say about him. He carried around a notebook and made detailed notes and took his career seriously. Being around him bothered Guinevere and she still had no idea why.

Amanda told her she was leaving the Prydwen and taking a post in the Commonwealth. She wanted to do more medical work and there wasn’t enough on board. Amanda didn’t mention wanting to leave the Brotherhood, and Guinevere was happy her friend had found something she enjoyed.

Guinevere felt guilty for not sharing with her the fact she and RJ had been married and that she was expecting a child. But their relationship was still so new, and there was too much risk with the unknown. Guinevere hoped that in time she could share with her friend, once she’d left the Brotherhood behind.

Then there was Danse. The Paladin was often on the Prydwen and they would run into each other. Sometimes she caught him looking at her but when she smiled or acknowledged it, he would turn away and resume his stony silence. 

Guinevere sat beside him at the bar, having a mutfruit juice.

“Everything ok, Paladin?” she asked amiably.

“Indeed,” he responded. “I trust you and the Elder are getting on well? I am aware that you have been given the great honor of being his pilot on the Righteous Vengeance.”

Guinevere shook her head. “I’m not his pilot. He likes to fly out of here sometimes, just the two of us, for fun.”

“So you are the consort of the Elder?” he asked.

“That sounds so dirty,” she said.

“Dirty? Scribe, it’s a high honor to be chosen by the Elder. He’s never taken a consort before.”

Guinevere thought the way he spoke was odd. It didn’t sound like him. But she couldn’t describe exactly why. 

“Where did you meet him again? I forgot,” she lied. 

“I was in Rivet City, in the capital wastes. Running a junk stand with a friend of mine when the Brotherhood showed up. I met the Elder then. He was just a teenager.”

Guinevere nodded. “What happened to your friend? Did he die in combat?”

Guinevere needed to know if his memory had been affected by the incident in Arc Jet she had learned about, or if he was only choosing to forget certain things. Namely their relationship.

“He was turned by the FEV virus.” He said it in such a way that Guinevere knew he wouldn’t discuss it further.

“Where did we meet?” she asked.

He looked at her oddly. “Are you having issues with your memory, Scribe? You should see Cade.”

“I’m fine. I just want to know if  _ you _ remember.”

“Of course I do,” he responded. “Although I hardly see why it matters. We met in...at…” he blinked and furrowed his brow. “I’m sorry I seem to confuse you with some of the other recruits. You and I met here, on the Prydwen didn’t we? No that’s incorrect. We had several missions together in the Commonwealth. You were assigned to my team for awhile.”

Guinevere stared into her drink, then faced him. “ _ You’re _ the one who needs to see Cade. We met when I walked into the Cambridge police station and helped you kill feral ghouls.”

He shook his head. “You are confused, Scribe.”

“Ask Rhys and Haylen. They’ll remind you.”

Danse frowned, and finished his drink.

“You have a book in your footlocker,” continued Guinevere. “It’s a story about a King named Arthur and his queen named Guinevere. It was your favorite book. There’s also a green ribbon in there. It’s mine and I left it behind at the station once and you kept it.”

“I would have done no such thing. I’m not one to collect trinkets. Scribe Stanton, I’m aware that I might inspire such flights of fancy in someone but I assure you, none of that is true.”

“Go check,” she suggested. “If I’m wrong I’ll never mention any of this again. I’ll even go with you right now.”

Danse affixed her with a stern look. “Most certainly not. You are the consort of the Elder. It is inappropriate for you and I to converse in such familiar terms, and being seen in my quarters even more so. I don’t have a footlocker, I assure you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have duties to attend to.”

He straightened his jumper as he stepped off the barstool and turned to go.

“Eric,” she whispered.

He froze for a moment but didn’t turn back and didn’t reprimand her.

“ _ I fell into a burning ring of fire, I went down down down, and the flames went higher…”  _ she sang softly.

He looked down, and shook his head, then ran both hands through his hair. He’d only ever done that when deeply frustrated.

“Good day, Scr...Guinevere,” he said.

That was when Guinevere MacCready realized there was something very wrong with Paladin Eric Danse.


	34. The Devil's In The Details

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere tries to convince Cade that something is wrong with Danse.

* * *

Knight-Captain Roger Cade was puzzled by Guinevere’s dogged determination to read the medical files. It was classified, but Arthur had given her permission to access Paladin Danse’s files.

“This is highly irregular,” Cade said to her. “Is there nothing you can tell me about why you’re so keen on reading about his medical history?”

“I want to tell you,” she said. “But nothing is sacred here on this ship and I don’t want certain things getting out. Even the doctor-patient relationship is debatable where Arthur is involved.”

“In serious situations, the Elder is notified,” said Cade. “But everyday ailments and visits are of no concern to him. It’s troubling that you think there’s something in Danse’s history that you don’t want Elder Maxson to know.”

Guinevere couldn’t do it. She couldn’t risk Arthur finding out about her relationship with Danse. It would change the dynamics of what they had, which in turn might compromise her position. But having piqued Cade’s curiosity, she had to tell him something.

“Keep this between us,” she asked. “I think that Paladin Danse has a brain injury. From that mission.” She opened his file and pointed to the entry.

“And what gave you this conclusion? I tested him as best I could. And he passed.”

“He remembers details from his childhood and his first years in the Brotherhood,” said Guinevere. “But he completely can’t recall anything about  _ me _ . He hesitates on how we met, he has no idea that we were friends. We were very close, Dr. Cade. And none of that even enters his mind. It’s like he erased me.”

Cade tapped his lips as he thought. 

“Guinevere,” he said softly. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea on what I’m about to say here. Is it possible that you read more into your relationship than there was? Perhaps Danse doesn’t quite see things the way you did. The situations that were monumentos to you, might have been inconsequential to him.”

He expected an emotional response, and was surprised when there was none.

“Even if that were true,” said Guinevere evenly. “Simple mundane details wouldn’t be forgotten. Places we went and spent time, missions we did together...none of that registered with him. They were successful Brotherhood missions and worthy of remembering.”

“Perhaps he was just making it seem like he’d forgotten, to derail you, so to speak. Paladin Danse has never been comfortable with emotional situations.”

Guinevere shook her head. “No, Dr. Cade. If he were doing that it would be like lying, and Danse never lied. It makes no sense to me. I know I might sound ridiculous but I really feel something’s wrong.”

Cade had never known Guinevere to lie or exaggerate. Even the Elder had remarked that she was honest to a fault. “Alright. I’m going to go out on a limb for you here.”

He turned to the computer and located Danse’s personal logs as well as his mission logs. “Give me the date of the mission in question. I know he sponsored you. That’s something we can start with.”

Guinevere gave it to him and Cade searched. “Huh…” he said. “Odd. Here look through these entries.”

Guinevere leaned over and her jaw dropped. “No way! That... _ this _ ...none of this is true! This is all fabricated! He deleted the actual logs and put all this... _ nonsense _ ...in there!”

She lost the color from her face and sat down, hard. Cade looked at her. “Ordinarily I would have you submit to a physical and mental health check,” he said. “But the fact the entire sponsorship request is missing, as well as the redaction, makes me give your concern some consideration. It’s possible, with a decorated officer such as Danse, that your withdrawal embarrassed him and he considered it a slight on his record and wished to eliminate it.”

Guinevere shook her head vehemently. “You said yourself that Danse wasn’t comfortable with emotional situations. He  wouldn’t falsify logs or omit entries for such a reason! There has to be a record of the original logs! I need you to believe me, Dr. Cade. What if the injury he received could compromise him now? Make him unsuitable for missions?”

Cade sighed. “I’ve cleared him for duty as he didn’t show any detrimental test results. Aside from  _ your _ say so, and this oddity in the logs, I see nothing wrong with Paladin Danse. I’m going to keep this between us. I see no reason to escalate this unless you find more proof.”

“Scribe Haylen and Knight Rhys were there. Look at  _ their _ reports! They both would have mentioned the missions Danse and I did together because we left the station to do them.”

Cade looked dubious. “Alright. Suppose I do that and find the discrepancies. We’re already aware that Danse’s reports have been altered in some way. I fail to understand what your motive is here, Scribe.”

“If he’s got a brain injury he needs help!” said Guinevere emphatically. “Before he injures someone else or himself.”

Even if he didn’t love her or want to be with her, Danse deserved aid. At the very least she owed that much to the child she was carrying. If Danse was the father, it was the least she could do for him even if he never found out about it. She had loved him deeply and still did.  

“I’m going to try and find the exact files he erased,” she said firmly and left the medical bay. “I’ll bring you what I find.”

* * *

“Arthur, I want to visit the police station,” said Guinevere sweetly, taking his arm and leaning on him. He looked down at her and kissed the top of her head.

“I can’t leave the Prydwen. There are mission debriefings scheduled, and inspections, my dear.”

She looked up at him, and his usually icy eyes melted. “I want to join you,” he sighed. “But it simply won’t work. Why don’t you take Righteous Vengeance and go? You are competent enough. Just watch that landing sequence.”

She cheered inwardly. Just the answer she wanted to hear.

“Oh Arthur,” she sighed almost dramatically. “I really wanted you to come with me, but I guess I’ll go and be back in a short time.”

He turned and pulled her to him, holding her close. “My queen, your loyalty is an example to your brothers and sisters. Check in with me when you return.”

Guinevere felt a pang of guilt.  _ Yes, I’m very loyal,  _ she thought.  _ To the people of the Commonwealth but not to the Brotherhood. _

She stopped and swallowed a wave of nausea. Whether it was because of her pregnancy or the emotions raging through her, she wasn’t very fond of herself at that moment. She wondered how Deacon could so easily practice to deceive with no emotional repercussions.

_ I hate this, _ she thought.  _ I’m not a spy at heart. I just want to fix the world so we can all live in it peacefully. _

Guinevere turned and looked back at Maxson, expecting him to have resumed his task but he hadn’t. His head was tilted to the side and he was watching her, the corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly, and his eyes were soft.

It was the way she would remember him from then on.


	35. Her Name Is Guinevere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere retrieves Danse's logs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the slow updates. I have two golden retriever puppies that are taking up all my attention at present time. I haven't forgotten about Guinny's story, but until the pups are a little less needy with their walnut sized bladders, updates will be slow!  
> Thank you for sticking with me!

* * *

“Well where is it?” Guinevere demanded almost hotly. “I was sent here to retrieve it by Elder Maxson. Would  _ you _ like to explain to him how an entire computer terminal happened to go missing?”

Guinevere had begun to learn the fine art of lying. She hated it. But to accomplish anything lately she’d had no choice.

She’d landed at the police station quite adeptly for such a large vertibird, and immediately went to where she’d last seen Danse’s computer terminal. It was gone, and most of the debris and mess in the station had been cleaned up.

The recon team that now inhabited it was fastidious in their reconstruction of the place, and while she had to admit it looked good, what she had come to retrieve was now missing.

“No Scribe, I’d rather not,” said the flustered Knight before her. “Knight-Captain Benson is in charge of the base, I’m sure he’d know.”

_ Oh great,  _ she groaned inwardly.  _ Benson was the wonderful character who’d called me Maxson’s lap dog. _

She thought about it for a moment. True, he was not the nicest person, but perhaps she could put some sort of fear into him anyway considering none of the crew wanted to face Maxson directly if they’d done anything wrong.  She hoped he’d be no different.

“Can you please get him for me?” she asked, her voice kinder.

The soldier nodded, glad to be off the hook.

She waited a few minutes, then Benson appeared. He looked haggard and tired, a recon team was hard work as opposed to sitting around the Prydwen day after day playing cards.

Guinevere drew herself up and did her best to look firm. “Knight-Captain Benson, I’ve been sent to retrieve the computer terminal used by Paladin Danse during his time here with Recon Team Gladius. Where is it?”

He looked at her as though a forest creature had just opened it’s mouth and sung an aria.

“You come in here,  _ Scribe _ , and make a demand like this? Forgetting that I outrank you?” he sneered slightly.

“I’m outranked by the Proctors, not by  _ you _ or anyone in the ground-air division,” she retorted, hoping that she sounded firmly annoyed. “Now where’s the terminal?”

He snorted. “Quit wasting my time,  _ pup _ . Look for it yourself.”

Guinevere narrowed her eyes and tried to look fierce but then thought better of it. She smiled slightly.

“Then show me where the radio is, please.”

Benson frowned at her. “What do you need  _ that _ for?”

“To let Elder Maxson know that the terminal is missing and you have no idea where it is. He’ll have to come and find it himself, I guess.” She liked the look of consternation that appeared on Benson’s face.

“Hmm but wait,” she added. “I have his vertibird so he’ll have to suffer the discomfort of a regular ship. No matter. Radio please.”

Benson lost some color from his face. “You have his vertibird? The Elder’s?”

She nodded. “Of course I do. He said to let him know if the station was uncooperative. Where’s that radio?”

Benson looked around from side to side to see if any of the soldiers had heard their conversation. “Look, Scribe. I was...uhh...hasty in my response. It’s been a rough go here. I’ll talk to the others, find out where they put the tech that they cleaned up. Just...don’t talk to the Elder yet.”

She turned around and looked for a chair. “I’ll be sitting right here waiting for you to find it, Benson.”

He couldn’t seem to move fast enough, and Guinevere wanted to laugh.  _ Oh RJ, _ she thought.  _ You’d be so proud of me right now! _

Her relationship with Maxson once more was paying off and opening doors for her. The soldiers respected him, and there was a good dose of fear attached as well.

She arched her back to stretch it out. The ligaments and tendons in her body were doing what they needed to do to sustain her pregnancy and she was feeling every bit of it.

Guinevere stared at the floor, not wanting to look around the room. There were memories attached to the police station, memories that she wasn’t ready to attend to. 

The whole odd situation with Danse weighed heavy on her mind. She didn’t need the distraction of it along with everything else she had to worry about, but it was the sort of thing that couldn’t just be ignored. She may be the only person who knew something was off.

Benson returned with a small box. “I found these,” he said. “Scribe Ellingsworth said that everything was backed up onto these holotapes before the the tech was dismantled for parts.”

Guinevere took the box. “I need to also ask you if Paladin Danse has been back here to the station at all since the Prydwen arrived.”

Benson shook his head. “Recon Team Gladius abandoned this post on the Prydwen’s arrival. The first group of Recon Team Spartacus was dispatched the following day and started the clean up. I was sent to lead the team about a month ago.”

Guinevere nodded. “Very good, Benson, thank you for your help.”

He saluted. “You...you’re not going to speak unfavorably to the Elder about me, are you?” He asked rather nervously.

She smiled as sweetly as she could. “Why would I do  _ that _ , Benson? Have a nice day.”

She could feel his nervous tension and wanted to burst out laughing. Guinevere knew he was well aware that his previous behavior towards her was less than exemplary and could result in trouble for him. But Guinevere didn’t care enough about Benson to bother.

She walked back towards the staircase leading to the roof and the vertibird.

Two Knights were standing guard. They looked at her, then looked at each other.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Uhh this is the Righteous Vengeance, Elder Maxson’s private vertibird.”

She made a show of looking past them to the ship, then made a dramatic face of shock.

“Oh my goodness! You’re right! I must have taken the wrong ship!”

They started laughing. Knowing it was impossible to take the Elder’s ship without permission, they found Guinevere’s theatrical pose comical.

“We didn’t know you could fly, Scribe Stanton,” said one of them.

She shrugged. “I’m not sure if what I’m doing is actually flying or hurtling this thing through the air with a prayer, hoping to make it where I’m going alive.”

They laughed again. “Elder Maxson must really love you to give you such an honor ma’am.”

She looked away, that guilt panging at her insides again. “I guess he does,” she said softly.

Putting the box of holotapes into the ship ahead of her, she climbed back up. Securing the box in the passenger seat beside her, Guinevere settled herself and started the engines.

She wanted to listen or read Danse’s tapes in private. She could do it on her pip-boy on the Prydwen or at home, with RJ and John nearby.

The soldiers saluted as she lifted the vertibird off the roof and headed towards the Red Rocket.

She was pleased that only Dogmeat came out to greet her as she landed the craft and stepped out with the box. RJ and John were appropriately hiding.

“RJ!” she called out.

He appeared around the corner of the garage, and seeing only her, ran forward. “Guinny!”

He caught her in his arms and spun her around until she begged him to put her down. “I’m going to be sick if you do that again!” she laughed.

He took her face in his hands and kissed her tenderly. “I miss you so much, Mrs. MacCready,” he whispered. Letting her go, he rested his hands on her belly.

“How’s our little guy doing?” he asked. 

“Oh he’s just fine and so am I,” she smiled. “I came home to listen to some holotapes.”

RJ took her hand, and the box, and they walked back to the diner after asking Codsworth and Dogmeat to guard the vertibird.

Guinevere explained what had been bothering her about Danse, and the strange unexplained omissions from his logs.

“Go get John,” she said. “He won’t come out of his cave until he hears the ship leave.”

RJ jogged off and returned a few minutes later with the ghoul in tow.

“Well Sunshine, you sure have come a long way. Look at you, flying that thing. Next you’ll be commanding that blimp!”

She laughed. “That thing takes a team of people around the clock to keep it simply hovering. It’s a marvel of technology although I hate living on it.”

She put the holotapes in the order of the dates written on them. They all had the designation DN-407P, Danse’s ID.

“Why didn’t he do this himself, aren’t they supposed to?” asked RJ. “Put it on holotape, I mean.”

“Remember that day we killed Kellogg and Danse went back to the station? He would have made  _ his _ copies then, and those are the ones that I read. The ones he altered.  _ These _ are the original log backups the new team made.”

RJ grinned. “Killing Kellogg isn’t what I remember about that day, Guinny.”

Guinevere felt the heat rising in her cheeks. It was that night that had caused all the confusion she was now suffering from.

“Why would he alter his logs?” asked Hancock.

“I don’t know,” said Guinevere. “I’m honestly convinced he has a brain injury. He remembers bits and pieces but everything to do with me he’s forgotten.”

Hancock sighed and took a pull from a bottle of Vodka. “You know doll,” he said gently. “That doesn’t sound like a brain injury. It sounds like selective memory.”

Guinevere frowned at him. “John, you  _ know _ he loved me. You can’t just erase one relationship from memory because you want to. There’s something wrong with him!”

Hancock nodded. “There’s something wrong with him alright but it’s not an injury. Sunshine, what good is this doing? Spending all your time digging into this guy? Bottom line, for whatever reason, you guys didn’t work out. All this won’t change that.” The ghoul looked at MacCready. “You married the best guy for you right here.”

Guinevere gave RJ’s hand a squeeze but frowned at Hancock. “John, if there’s something wrong with him then we need to fix it!” said Guinevere. “Not for me, but...for his baby.”

Hancock lay a hand over hers. “This little one might be MacCready’s too.”

She looked at him pointedly. “You’re a gambling man. Would you risk these odds?”

Hancock lit a cigarette. “I’ve bucked greater odds before, Sunshine.”

“Regardless, I need to figure out this mystery,” said Guinevere. “Everything about it just feels wrong somehow. It’s like one day he’s fine and the next, he’s a different person! Like you said with your brother…” As the words left her lips, her eyes grew larger as a thought materialized.

“Guinny?” asked RJ. “What is it? I know that look. That’s the  _ what-if _ look.”

Hancock shook his head. “Don’t go there Sunshine. That’s not what’s happening here. Totally different situation. And my brother’s not a synth. He’s just an asshole.”

“What situation? What are you two on about?” asked RJ, now desperate to understand.

“What if...what if Danse is a synth?” Guinevere’s voice was shaky with horror.

RJ made a face. “Well, that would explain why he was so damn weird. All those big words. Sounded programmed to me. But hey! If he’s a synth, then that definitely means the baby’s mine!”

His attempt at lightening the mood went unnoticed. “What if he was replaced by a synth after we met?” questioned Guinevere. “Wouldn’t that explain why he changed so much, so fast? His replacement was glitched out.  _ Can _ they glitch?”

“I don’t know the first thing about synths,” said RJ. “Wouldn’t even believe all those stories if I hadn’t seen what comes out of a dead synth. Weird stuff. We could blast him and find out!” RJ was still being silly and he knew it, but the look on Guinevere’s face shut him down and he put his arm around her and gave her a squeeze by way of apology.

“I don’t know, Sunshine,” said Hancock. “I can’t figure that the Institute would program one with selective memory. The whole point is to take over someone’s life for whatever reason. Completely. If they made such a huge mistake it would be noticeable and then the whole cover is blown, you feel me? He’s not a synth. He’s just an asshole like my brother.”

“But if he’s glitched!” she cried.

Hancock sighed. “You’re thinking of those Gen 3 synths like computers. They aren’t. They’re made to imitate humans exactly. Was a guy in Goodneighbor a while back. His wife came to me and insisted he was a synth. Said there were some things wrong with him. So I went and talked to him. Seemed like the same old guy to me. Not the nicest one either. I told her she was mistaken. The guy got into a gunfight one day and lo and behold, some strange shit came out of that body. She’d been right. And the guy had fooled  _ me _ . I’d known him for years and I couldn’t tell. Sorry Sunshine. These synths don’t glitch out. They are pretty much 100% human aside from those few strange parts. Danse ain’t a synth.”

She bit back tears. Hancock had spoken firmly and truthfully and it hurt, but he was probably right. That still left her notion that Danse had some sort of injury. She refused to believe he was choosing to pretend she hadn’t been part of his life.

RJ saw her distress and kissed the side of Guinevere’s head. “I know you loved him. And now with this baby, you want to know what the hell happened, but this is just nuts. His, mine...doesn’t matter. It’s me and you Guinny. It’s  _ our  _ baby, right?”

Guinevere didn’t say anything. She couldn’t possibly make them understand why she needed to find out what happened. Yes, it was probably ridiculous of her to even consider he’d been replaced. Brotherhood soldiers were never alone long enough for the Institute to not only kidnap them but to clone him, then program the clone, then somehow swap them. Even the mission in question where Danse was out of touch with his team was mere hours. Certainly not long enough to do a synth replacement.  That left only the brain injury option.

“If he’s got a brain injury, we need to help him. I don’t want him to suddenly die because no one bothered to look into it.”

“How are these logs going to help with that?” asked Hancock.

“It’s just proof for our medical officer,” she said. “So he has grounds to pull Danse from the teams until they can find out what’s wrong with him. No, I can’t fix him on my own. I’m not a doctor in any way. I can barely stimpak myself. But maybe Cade can help him. And maybe if I’m right, our baby will have his father in his life.”

“I can’t argue that, doll,” said Hancock kindly.

She started with the holotape dated the day they’d met, Danse’s personal log, and by the end she was sobbing.

_ Her name is Guinevere. She has hair of gold and eyes of green. It seems that the beautiful queen of Camelot has walked out of the pages of my book and into my life.   _

_ What were the chances of fate bringing us together this way? Already I struggle with my focus, a focus that has been my every breath since I joined the Brotherhood.  _

_ Guinevere and I met hours ago, and yet I feel as though I’ve known her my entire life. Her voice, her laugh, the expression in her eyes. She looks at me differently than anyone else I’ve ever met.  _

_ I can’t explain this feeling. A sense of protectiveness comes over me when she’s near. I want to put her in a bubble and set her away from anything that could harm her in any way. _

_ Guinevere seems so innocent, so untainted, so fragile, yet what she’s experienced would bring a seasoned soldier to his knees. And still she finds a way to smile and reach out to help others. There’s a strength in her that’s remarkable. _

_ I never thought I’d ever divert my focus from the Brotherhood to a woman. But even now my words come slowly, interspersed with thoughts of Guinevere. I wish to freeze time, but also speed it up so that I might see her again. Now I understand all the poets and song writers who speak of nights being too long. _

_ I’m burning inside already. Like the song says ‘I fell into a burning ring of fire.’ _

_ Oh Guinevere, what have you done to me? _

“Woah,” said RJ as he read it. “He had it bad for you from day one. That was the day he gave you that gun. I remember that look in your eyes when you came home.” RJ slumped back in the chair. “It’s like...you two...were…” he didn’t finish the sentence, and got up to find a bottle of alcohol.

Hancock was holding Guinevere while she tried to compose herself. “He never said things like this to me,” she sobbed. “He felt them but never said them. Oh, Eric!”

Hancock was surprised as well. It affirmed his belief that you could never judge a person from the outside.

RJ tried to remind himself that Guinevere had married  _ him _ . But that was of little comfort when pitted against what she might be feeling inside. Seeing Danse’s eloquent words so beautifully descriptive, speaking of the deep connection that had existed at first sight.

_ I can’t touch that. I first looked at her that day at The Third Rail and thought ‘wow she’s a knockout’. Real poetic MacCready. Bet I could win her over with a quote from Grognak the Barbarian. Or better yet, from Sports Car Journal. ‘Sleek and smooth with curves that scream for attention.’ Yep you’re screwed. _

Guinevere dried her eyes and moved on to the mission log of that day, when they had gone to Arc Jet. Danse had even described giving her the gun, and asking her to join the Brotherhood.

“See, it’s all here,” she whispered. “And in the logs he submitted on the Prydwen, none of this is present. It was all omitted.”

RJ sat back down beside her and gathered her close. “So what did the messed up ones say?”

“Nothing about me at all. It talked about the feral ghouls relentlessly attacking. Some filler about finding different tech. He talks about going to Arc Jet alone and retrieving the parts for the radio.  _ Every _ part of me has been erased.” Tears filled her eyes again but she wiped them away and forced herself to focus.

“Sunshine,” said Hancock gently. “I think it might be best to stick to reading the mission logs. The personal ones, they’re a bit heavy for right now. All this stress, can’t be good for you. Gotta think about the little one you’re carrying.”

RJ nuzzled her. “The old leatherface is right Guinny. Want to just take a break and take a nap? I need one. Been a hard day.”

Hancock rolled his eyes. “Yeah MacCready that’s true. Organizing those bottles was a chore. Might need to take a vacation now.”

RJ laughed. “Ruined it for me again. Was trying to get Guinny into bed.”

“Too much information!” said Hancock waving him away.

“What?!” quipped RJ. “She needs to rest. Dirty ghoul.”

Hancock gave him a look and stood up, reaching for a dispenser of chems. “Need a chem break,” he said and wandered off to his rooftop perch.

Guinevere looked tired. “I do need a rest but I do need to go through these logs, RJ.”

“Why?” he asked. “Just give them to that medical guy and be done with it. You did your part to try and help. I get it. Now let’s move onto you getting the hell out of the Brotherhood.”

She sighed deeply and leaned into him. “I feel so wrecked right now.”

He kissed her head and held her close. “I know Guinny. It’s pointless to torture yourself like this. Let’s go lie down.”

She allowed him to lead her to their bedroom where RJ gathered her into his arms. “Go to sleep. We can deal with the other tapes later.”

“I have to get back to the Prydwen. Arthur will worry about me if I’m gone too long…” her voice trailed off, and soon RJ heard her breathing even out.

_ This needs to end,  _ he thought.  _ She has to get away from all of them. I gotta go see Deacon. _

He held her, his heart filled with so much love he could barely contain it, and dozed off.


	36. The Meaning Of Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deacon discovers he's out of the loop, and MacCready pays him a visit.

* * *

Deacon couldn’t sleep. 

He’d tried. He’d tried by eating, drinking and hitting the bottle, something he usually didn’t do.

In his agitated state he’d smoked nearly an entire pack of cigarettes.

The railroad agent liked to keep his mind sharp and alert, but this one time he wanted to dull the edges off it, and this was the time it just didn’t happen.

He ran his hand over his head and felt the new growth of his hair. If he left it too long, wearing his disguises would become uncomfortable.

Deacon sighed and sat up. There had only been one other time he’d let his hair grow out and that was because  _ she  _ had wanted him to.

_ Her. _

The fragile, innocent woman who had crawled out of Vault 111 and into his life so long ago. The lady with the wide green eyes who’d stolen his heart and twisted his mind until he didn’t recognize himself.

_ Guinevere. _

She’d married his friend. Because he himself had been too much of a mess to accept the love she offered him. Because he couldn’t find the strength to fight away his demons.

_ Because I was weak,  _ he thought.  _ And I’m still weak, and I’m an even bigger asshole now than I was back then. She did good getting away from me. _

Deacon got up and poured himself a glass of water.  It didn’t taste right, but then again nothing did after the vodka and bourbon he had imbibed, an appreciation for which had been given him by MacCready.

The merc was good for her. He was a good man with a big heart and deserved the happiness she gave him. 

_ Damn, Guinevere. _

He remembered those nights a lifetime ago when they’d made camp or sheltered in some derelict building somewhere, and she would snuggle up against him. He could still feel her warm body next to his, the softness of her hair, and her delicate scent. Some memories were just fated to be replayed over and over. The pain was a justifiable punishment.

_ “Aren’t you afraid out here?”  _ He’d asked her.

_ “No, I’m with you. I trust you to keep us safe, Deacon.” _

He felt sick.

_ Trust. _

Guinevere had given him her trust and eventually her love, and at the 11th hour, he’d pushed her away. His demons had jeered and chanted and reminded him of what he was. A monster. Undeserving.

_ I’m even worse now.  _

Every day that passed Deacon was falling further into despair.  He was one of the railroad’s best agents; most certainly it’s best spy. And he was being purposely left out of the loop.

He’d come creeping back to HQ several days ago, to stumble on Desdemona having a meeting in the ruins of the church.

Something told him immediately that it was meant to be clandestine so he had melded into the shadows to listen.

“No, I don’t want him to know,” she'd said in hushed tones.

“Can’t trust him any more? How come?” a voice had asked. 

Deacon had recognized the smooth voice of Todd Hartley, a ‘tourist’ on the outside of the railroad who’d been planted as a Brotherhood spy on the Prydwen. Tourists were never given high end missions. They operated on the fringes, most of them never meeting agents like himself.

Deacon was perturbed.

“He’s one of the best,” answered Desdemona. “But his head is in the clouds in regards to that girl, Guin Stanton.”

“She’s a danger to us?” Todd asked. “She seems alright. Does her duties, doesn’t cause any ripples. Maxson sure has it bad for her.”

Desdemona shook her head. “Danger? She’s a stupid girl, batting her lashes at everyone. She’s in bed with Maxson too?  _ That _ makes her a potential problem. And  _ that’s _ why I don’t want Deacon in on our plan.”

“You think he’d compromise the operation?”

Desdemona had been quiet then, and Deacon smelled the smoke from a freshly lit cigarette. “As I see it, he might spill the beans. And since I don’t know where  _ her _ loyalties lie, everything could come undone. It’s late. We shouldn’t be seen together anymore. Not for a few weeks at least.”

Todd had stepped over some debris that shifted dangerously close to where Deacon was hiding. “I’ll continue on with my work. The sooner we can end this the better. I can’t stand being up there with those people.”

Deacon had remained, staying motionless for a long time. At first it had just been a feeling, but that was when he’d known for certain that something was going on between Desdemona and Todd. It was the first time that Des had chosen not to confide in him, and all because she didn’t like Guinevere.

He wasn’t sure what Todd’s mission was, but he figured it was the same as what Guinevere was doing. Providing intel on Brotherhood attacks, giving them something to cross reference to ensure she wasn’t being deceptive. He understood that, and although it bothered him, he was aware that no one else knew Guinevere like he did and had to be cautious.

But there was a tightness in the pit of his stomach that told him everything wasn’t quite what it seemed. And it had placed him in the unenviable position of having to spy on his own people.

Since that night, Deacon had been doing his best to root out what Des and Todd were concocting but he wasn’t getting anywhere. Todd was obviously staying on the airship and Desdemona hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary.

He’d cornered Glory over it but she’d been in the dark as well. She was aware there was a Railroad spy placed with the Brotherhood, but had no idea what his actual mission was.

Then MacCready had shown up. The first words out of his mouth were  _ Guinny’s pregnant, can you believe it?  _

Deacon had been happy for him. He knew MacCready had a son in the capital wastes and loved the kid with all his heart. He knew that being a father was the most important thing in the merc’s life and it was great news for him. It made the situation with Guinevere and the Brotherhood even more tenuous. Her pregnancy was a complication and suddenly Deacon worried for her safety.

The covert ops with Todd and Des was beginning to gnaw at Deacon. Something continuously bothered his senses. Using the word  _ operation _ meant that it wasn’t a small job like simply gathering intel. 

“Can you get her to ditch the Brotherhood now?” he’d asked MacCready.

“We’ve talked about it,” said RJ. “She wants to get out but she also wants you to find this goddamn traitor you have in your own ranks so she can hand over the information she’s got.  _ Your _ spy up there can’t get what she can because of Maxson. Guinny’s really insistent on that, so we gotta find this asshole. Like yesterday.”

“Do me a solid,” said Deacon. “I want Guin to give the info to me and only me, ok? As in, don’t let anyone else know when it’s time.”

MacCready eyed him. “Yeah not sure I like the tone of your voice there. Something you’re not telling me? That first meeting had a whole mess of you guys involved. She wanted to just talk to you back then.  _ Now _ suddenly it’s a thing? Guinny’s my wife and I need to protect her Deek. If some shit is going down I need to know about it because if I gotta duct tape her to a chair to keep her and the baby safe I’ll do it. No bullshit, right? I’m trusting you on this.”

Deacon ignored the sudden clenching of his stomach, indicated the door and they went outside, wandering a ways from the old church and into the city.

“Look MacCready, I don’t know what the hell is going on either. You know Des put some guy up there on the ship. Problem is I have no clue what he’s doing there.”

“Spying on Guinny? Des didn’t seem to trust her.”

“I don’t know,” said Deacon. “Could be exactly that. Getting intel to cross reference what she’s going to give us.”

“There’s a  _ but _ in there, I can feel it,” said MacCready.

Deacon nodded. “It’s the fact I’ve been kept out of the loop. I overheard Des and the spy talking about some operation. No one knows a thing about it, and she’s purposely keeping it from me. She isn’t trusting me with it because of my relationship with Guin.”

MacCready swore under his breath and lit a cigarette. “I don’t like this,” he said. “Do you know the spy’s name?”

“I know him as Todd Hartley. Minor tourist with the railroad. Did small jobs here and there for us. Suddenly he’s in with Des on something big. I don’t like it either.”

MacCready scowled at his friend. “So Guin has to root out  _ your _ goddamn spy and I have to root out hers. This whole thing is getting out of hand. We need to catch the Brotherhood guy down here, Deacon. Let’s get working on that right now. I want that prick 6 feet under by the time she comes back home. I’m trusting you on  _ this _ too.”

Deacon nodded. He felt miserable inside. There was that word again.

_ Trust. _

They walked back to the HQ in silence, their eyes and ears on full alert for the dangers that lurked in the night.

Deacon decided to step up his game, and treat both Desdemona and Todd as the enemy.

_ Maybe for once I can manage to do the right thing,  _ he thought.  _ Earn the trust I’m being given. _


	37. One Shot, One Kill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deacon and RJ root out the Brotherhood spy.

* * *

RJ and Deacon worked feverishly on rooting out the spy. They tracked, spied on, and questioned every member of the RR who fit the description Guinevere had given them.

Desdemona hadn’t been overly fond of seeing the mercenary around the HQ, but despite her misgivings RJ had proved himself loyal over time and with the loss of several members already she couldn’t turn down that extra gun.

Her hostility towards Guinevere was another matter. Deacon believed it stemmed from his earlier relationship with her, but when questioned, Desdemona refused to discuss her.

“Not this guy again,” sighed RJ, taking a pull from a bottle of bourbon.

He and Deacon were sitting on the remains of a raider camp’s turret scaffold. One of their marks wandered into sight, made a round, then came back again.

“His patrols are predictable,” said Deacon. “But we have to watch him just the same.”

“Watched him last week,” said RJ.

Deacon nodded and lit a cigarette. “Guin doing ok?”

“Yeah. She’d be better away from that flying tin can. I just wanna look after her you know?”

“I can imagine,” said Deacon softly.

RJ looked over at him. “That’s a regretful voice if I ever heard one.”

Deacon blew out a smoke ring. “I’m a head case. Best thing she did was get away from me.”

“See I want to agree with you, but I feel bad knowing what you gave up. Guinny’s one in a million. Maybe next time you’ll find someone and stick with them.”

Deacon shook his head. “Not gonna happen, pal. Not in this lifetime.”

“I said the same thing once,” RJ lit himself a cigarette and offered the bourbon to Deacon who took a long pull.

They sat quietly for a while until the agent looked at his friend. “I think we’re wrong,” he said.

“We? About what?”

Deacon indicated the tourist they were watching. The man had stopped his walking. “That guy. We watched him do a round last week as you said but cut off on him when that firefight erupted. Never went back to him.”

“Not missing much,” said RJ, but then they saw him look at his watch, look around to see if anyone was about, then turn on his heel to walk quite quickly into the shadows.

“Shit!” said Deacon and flicked his cigarette away, sliding off the scaffold onto the ground in one fluid, silent motion.

RJ wasn’t quite so graceful. Caught his jacket on a corner, swore quietly, and stumbled on landing.

Deacon was already ahead of him and he followed in his friend’s footsteps. They shadowed their mark through the darkened streets, the occasional sound of gunfire breaking the silence. 

The tourist moved with purpose. He knew exactly where he was going, and his pursuers had no idea where that might end up. 

The man stopped at an old garbage receptacle half buried in debris. He opened it and swiftly dropped something within, then turned and went back the way he had come.

Deacon and RJ flattened themselves against a building and the tourist walked right past without a glance.

“Can you reach it?” asked RJ as Deacon pulled down the lid.

“Yeah there’s debris in here that makes it easy.” He pulled up the folded piece of paper and flicked on his lighter.

“Fuck me,” breathed the agent. 

“I’d give you a smart remark but I’ll save it for another time,” said RJ. “What does it say? He our man?”

Deacon nodded and handed him the paper. RJ saw a series of codes. “No idea what I’m reading here. You want to fill me in?”

“No idea. You said Guin had codes, do you have them by any chance?”

“No. She does somewhere at home but she didn’t want to hand them over until we caught the spy. So this is him, we’re sure?”

“Best lead we have yet,” answered Deacon. “No one else has broken from routine. He fits the description and the time line.”

“You got somewhere we can take him? We’re not letting the others in on this right?”

Deacon’s face was grim as he nodded. “Let’s get him.”

The man proved a tough nut to crack. Like all military under interrogation, he repeated his call sign and designation in response to every question. There was no doubt he was the Brotherhood spy, but in no way was he giving up any information.

RJ looked down at the man, duct taped to a chair. He ripped the dog tags off from around his neck.

“Wonder what Maxson will think when we send these back to him in a box with your head,” asked RJ.

The spy blinked. It was the first reaction they’d seen from him. 

“What, surprised we know who your great leader is?” asked RJ. “You aren’t the only one with spies. We got a few ourselves up there on your floating can.”

The man began spewing his information again but it didn’t phase either Deacon or RJ.

“We gotta put him down,” said RJ. “You want the honors?”

As expected, Deacon made a face and shook his head. He wasn’t a cold blooded killer. Never had been. He fought the demons of his past every day and had come to loathe killing.

RJ on the other hand, had no such scruples.  He looked at the spy with disgust, thinking of the danger the man had put his wife in, and although he’d never admit it, there was a satisfying pleasure as he took out his .45 and fired.

One shot, one kill.


	38. Maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere's conversation with Cade doesn't go as she hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you may have noticed, the chapter "Just Between Friends" was deleted, because I posted it before posting this one. I suffer from lupus, which comes with a serious brain fog, and I mess things up quite a bit because of it. That and I have puppy brain. At current time my baby goldens are 14 and 15 weeks but it's getting easier with them. Anyway, I apologize to my readers for this oversight.

 

* * *

Knight-Captain Roger Cade ran his hand over his buzz cut head with a deep and heavy sigh.

The evidence had been irrefutable. There was something  going on with Paladin Eric Danse, but it wasn't what he knew Scribe Stanton thought.

“I don’t want to get the Elder involved until we know more,” he said. “I’m going to summon Danse and have a talk. There are two ways we can approach this. I can record the session for you, or you can be present. However, he may be less willing to talk if you’re here.”

Guinevere looked unhappily at him. “Record it for me. I want you to get as much information as possible from him without my being here tainting what he says.”

Cade nodded. “Arthur and Eric have been friends for a very long time. This situation will be hard for the Elder. I’d like to spare him if possible. But my duty is to the well being of the entire crew not just one man or woman.”

“I don’t envy you, Dr. Cade,” said Guinevere softly. “When will you speak to Danse?”

“As soon as we are done here I’ll send word to him. He’s still onboard.”

Guinevere chewed on her lower lip pensively. “Ok I’ll be in my quarters. Please send for me right away. I’m so worried about him.”

Guinevere tried to read a few books, organize her thoughts, and eventually had a nap. She was headed for the mess hall for a snack when Cade came around the corner.

He handed her a holotape. “I’ve decided to remove him from active duty. However, that only means he won’t be in the field. I’m looking at putting him at one of the bases like the old station. We have a few starting up.”

Guinevere took the holotape. “I don’t understand. You feel that what he said is enough to remove him from the field but not from still working with other people?”

Cade sighed. “Guinevere, I'm sorry but I just don't see a medical issue. As much as neither of us see Danse as an emotional creature, I think this situation has everything to do with that. No matter what I asked him or what roundabout way I went about it, he wouldn’t acknowledge you as anything other than another member of the crew. I believe your backing out of the sponsorship really bothered him and he considers it a blemish on his record. He has an acute memory of everything else, every detail which I cross referenced against Haylen and Rhys’ entries as you suggested.”

Guinevere frowned. “Yet you are taking him out of the field. Why?”

“It’s a disciplinary action. He altered the records and that isn’t permitted in any situation. It’s the best I can do, Guinevere. I know you feel the situation is more dire but there is no medical evidence to back that up.”

“What about the other entries we read about, from those in the field with him? They said he was acting confused and strange too, remember?”

Cade placed his hands on her shoulders. “Your loyalty to your former commanding officer is commendable, Scribe Stanton. You do us all proud. But it’s time to let it go. Even a Paladin of Danse’s caliber can have emotional issues. I know you cared for him, and it seems he cared for you also, but knowing him as I do, duty has always come before interpersonal relationships.”

Cade felt compassion seeing the pain in her eyes. “I know you felt a lot for Danse, and that you most likely hoped it would lead to more. I’m sorry, Guinevere, I truly am. But it hasn’t gone all wrong has it? Having the attention of Elder Maxson is quite an honor in itself.”

Guinevere shifted uncomfortably and looked away. She nodded, not in agreement with Cade but in resignation that she wouldn’t receive any more help on the Prydwen. She would leave and then what would happen to Danse?

“Danse had a momentary slip,” said Cade. “You are a unique woman, Guinevere. It doesn’t surprise me. He’s only human after all.”

Guinevere felt the stinging of tears. Cade was wrong. There  _ was _ something wrong with Eric, but what else could she do?

“For what it’s worth,” she said softly, trying to keep her emotions in check. “Eric started acting strangely towards me well before I requested to end our sponsorship. It all originated with him. His attitude towards me forced me to withdraw. Please put that in his file too. Formally.”

Cade nodded. “I will do that, thank you for your diligence, Scribe.”

Guinevere turned away and went back into her room, her hunger forgotten.  She let the tears slide from her eyes down her cheeks. Cade was right that she had to let it go, but her heart was broken and most likely always would be. She rubbed her baby bump gently, wishing things hadn’t gone so wrong. But then she wouldn’t have married RJ, who was so perfect for her, and whom she loved so deeply.

_ Life used to be so simple and beautiful, _ she thought wistfully.  _ I wish it could be that way again but that’s an impossible dream. This is it.  _

She didn’t bother with Cade’s interview holotape, but placed it in her pack along with Danse’s originals which she couldn’t bear to finish listening to yet. It was too hard on her and RJ and Hancock had been right. 

Guinevere lay down on the bed and curled up.

What had happened between her and Eric was now history, water under the bridge. Was it possible that Cade was right? That for his own reasons Danse decided he didn’t want to be with her and had consciously chosen to remove all trace of her from his life?

Guinevere still didn’t buy it. She tried. She tried to get into his head and imagine how he had felt when he changed his mind. But she couldn’t get past the genuine confusion in his eyes and manner when she talked to him. Eric was an honest, forthright man. Being deceptive wasn’t in his nature.

She had a short nap, got up, undressed and headed into the shower. The hot water felt good on her tired body. She rubbed her baby bump affectionately. She had decided that a boy would be named Eric Robert Joseph if his father was Danse, or Andrew Robert Joseph if he were RJ’s. RJ would most likely be the only father the child would know. Her husband would be a wonderful dad, there was no doubt in her mind about that. 

As the water ran over her comfortingly, her mind wandered.

Maybe somehow she could get Danse to see the baby after he was born, and maybe he would drop his ridiculous selective amnesia and at least acknowledge his child if it turned out to be his.

Maybe her child would have two loving fathers.

Maybe.


	39. Just Between Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere receives a startling proposition from Arthur, and has a long overdue talk with Haylen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you may notice that you've read this chapter before. I accidentally posted it before the previous one. My brain fog, brought on by lupus, wreaks havoc with my mind. That and puppy brain! I apologize for this oversight and hope you will stay with Guinevere for the rest of her journey.

Guinevere, as much as she hated to admit it, had discovered a sense of purpose on the Prydwen. Beyond her espionage activities, her friendships and her duties had become fulfilling. She realized that not every one of her brothers and sisters saw the world in black and white as Maxson did.

Some of them, like Haylen and herself had signed on to see the world, to try and make it a better place. Others were escaping a less than desirable life. They weren’t all filled with hate and blindly destructive thoughts. In fact there were only a few who were.

While Guinevere’s main duties were with provisional and the arboretum, she also found herself learning more about the vertibirds. She didn’t feel she’d be a great pilot or mechanic, but the basics were good and solid and she looked forward to those times she got to fly. It wasn’t often, but it was a treat when it did happen.

Even Maxson had softened so much since they’d met. He’d find Guinevere and sit quietly at her side, reading reports or a book, talking about missions and Brotherhood goals, poetry and literature and soon he began to open up about his life in the capital wastes.

Guinevere realized he was just a very young man who was thrown into an incredibly demanding role which he was emotionally and psychologically not even ready for. As she’d suspected, the stories that lent him his legendary status were exaggerations which no one wanted to hear the truth of.

The Brotherhood had been in tatters, and it’s devout followers had been thirsty for someone to follow, even if that someone had been nothing more than a child.

Arthur hadn’t had a normal upbringing, and consequently didn’t understand the nuances of a relationship. He was attracted to Guinevere, and the only way he could think of to communicate that was to latch on to characters in a book.

She found him funny, charming, awkward, and somewhere along their time together Guinevere and Arthur became friends.

She knew she was running out of time and would have to leave very soon, regardless of the status of her personal mission. This began to fill her with a strange sorrow.  The Brotherhood was the first place she’d found that gave her a reason to keep going every day. Even though her initial impression of them had been wrong, she saw that they _ were  _ truly working towards the betterment of the Commonwealth, even if it wasn’t in the way she had hoped.

The problem was that her pregnancy was beginning to show and there was only so much creativity she could muster up with clothing.

She met the squires, children who had travelled on the Prydwen from the capital wastes. They ranged in age from 8-12, and were taught everything from combat to weapons and ship systems as well as the required reading, writing and arithmetic.

But they were still children, and she saw a lack of playtime and chances to just be kids. She asked Arthur to allow her to set up some games and creative pursuits for them.

He was dubious about it but relented because he couldn’t say no to her.

The children were reluctant at first to participate but they came around. Soon there was a healthy sound of laughter and shouting throughout the ship, and once a week the vertibirds took them to Fort Strong to spray paint the walls with their artwork and create a space of their own. The crew had been unsure if it was a good idea, and didn’t understand why children, especially future Brotherhood soldiers, should be encourage to behave like raiders.

Guinevere explained the therapeutic nature of art and how important it was that children have a balance in their lives. The Brotherhood indoctrinations were heavy and she didn’t feel any child should be subjected to that exclusively.

Cade didn’t fight her on it, and Arthur as always allowed it as long as it didn’t affect their regular studies.

The children’s minds accepted the balance and there was a sharp increase in their enthusiasm for their other lessons as well.

Guinevere discovered a new passion in working with them twice a week and bonded with most of the children quickly.

Arthur was pleased. Once again Guinevere made him proud.

He cornered her on the forecastle one evening as she watched the sun set and thought about what RJ was doing. She missed him terribly.

“My queen,” said Arthur softly and rested his hands on her shoulders, standing behind her. He dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

“You and I have become closer as of late, don’t you agree?”

“Yes, we have. I consider you a good friend, Arthur.”

“At this point I believe it’s time we agreed that our attraction is mutual, and I’d like to formally consider us as being in a relationship.”

Guinevere felt her heart race. She couldn’t say no anymore. She’d given up every excuse she had. The old standby of not being ready had failed to deliver any conviction behind it for some time.

“What does that mean to you exactly?” she asked softly.

“That we make it official. Up until now it’s been considered that I’m interested in you and the crew has accepted that quite well. I’d like you to move into my quarters with me, Guinevere.”

She wanted to crawl away and disappear. How the heck could she get out of the situation now?

“That’s...that’s a really big step to take, Arthur,” she said shakily. “From being close friends to lovers...I’m not sure about that.”

He turned her around. “You misunderstand. I will not lie with you until we are wed, one year from today.”

Guinevere felt her breath catch in her throat. He wanted to marry her first? At least she’d be gone well before that happened.

The problem was she hated the idea of hurting him. Arthur was, and always had been, good to her. He’d been dominant and confident but hadn’t ever hurt her. When she left, it would be painful for him. She never liked the idea of hurting someone, especially not one she’d come to care for.

Although she knew it wouldn’t work, she tried to dissuade him anyway.

“I see you as a friend, Arthur. I see you as my Elder. Marriage is a serious undertaking I’m really not ready for.”

He embraced her, and tilted her face up. Gently kissing her lips, he smiled. “You will be in due time. You know you and I are meant to be together, Guinevere. Stop fighting me on this and accept your true feelings. I’m not a rogue interested only in your body. I want your love, as you have mine.” He looked down at her for a few moments, his expression soft.  “Now, there will be a swearing in ceremony in 10 days for new initiates and promotions. I know that falls in your leave time but I’m asking you to return for it and stand at my side.”

She swallowed hard. RJ would be unhappy about that, just as she was. But as always, Guinevere nodded. “I will.”

He nodded with a smile. “I shall see you off but sadly I’m unable to fly you home myself. There are things I must see to that I’ve been putting off, and the new Brotherhood base must be inspected. I hope you understand.”

She gave a small smile, to make him feel that she was disappointed. “Of course I understand Arthur. I’ll see you in 10 days.”

“I will see you on the flight deck in 30 minutes then.”

Amanda Haylen caught up with her as she left her quarters with her pack.

“Guin, I’m going to join Danse at the new base! I know you don’t believe Cade, and I think you’re right. It all feels weird to me too, but at least there I can keep an eye on him. Can I come visit you during your time off?”

Guinevere smiled but there was something behind her eyes. “Yes! Of course you can, any time!”

Amanda eyed her carefully for a moment. “There’s something going on with you. I can feel it. Want to talk about it?”

Guinevere felt her friend deserved to know that she was leaving the Brotherhood. “I’ve decided that being here isn’t for me. I’m going to be leaving very soon.”

Amanda blinked. “I know you mentioned it before but I figured you’d changed your mind.  Is it because of the Elder relentlessly pursuing you? Because there are protocols. He can’t force you!”

Guinevere shrugged. “Protocols or not, I’ve been too lax about it for my own reasons and at this point it would just make things awkward here. And it’s not just Arthur, Amanda. RJ and I...we got married.”

Amanda dragged her into an empty room. “What? You got married? That’s so great! Congratulations Guin. Just tell the Elder and he’ll leave you be!”

Guinevere shook her head. “I  _ can’t  _ now. Like I said I let it go too long without saying anything. I mean all this time Arthur thought we had some sort of future together. For me to say I married someone else...and he just told me a few minutes ago he wants to marry me next year, and I’m to move into his quarters with him. Leaving is my only option, do you understand what I’m saying?”

Amanda nodded. “I do.”

“That’s not the only thing either,” said Guinevere. “I’m pregnant. And I believe it’s Danse’s.”

Amanda stared at her and sat down hard in a chair. “Guin...why didn’t you come to me with all this? I thought we were friends.”

“We are, Amanda. But I’m not exactly proud of any of this. I don’t even know for sure whose baby I’m carrying and I’m disgusted with myself about all of it. I’ve been trying to hide it from everyone here.”

“You’re only human, Guin,” said Amanda. “Why do you think you need to be more than that? You love them both and Eric’s behavior isn’t normal. It doesn’t matter whose baby it is, just that you love them and that they have a family. Did you tell Eric?”

Guinevere shook her head. “He doesn’t even acknowledge our relationship. I doubt he’d believe me if I told him I was carrying his child. Even though he wanted us to start a family.”

“This explains why you’ve been so dogged about finding out what his issue is! It felt really strange to me, but now it all makes sense. I believe you Guin. He’s got something going on and maybe with me working closely with him again I can help sort it out. Are you ok though?”

Guinevere nodded. “I am. RJ’s been amazing through all of this. He doesn’t care if it’s Danse’s. He says he loves us both.”

“You’re so lucky to have a man like him,” sighed Amanda. “There are some great guys here but I see them as my brothers. Maybe I’ll meet someone in the Commonwealth.”

Guinevere grinned. “I know a certain ghoul that seems rather fascinated by you!”

“Hancock? Really? He said that?”

“He sure did. Many times. I think you need to go visit  _ him  _ not me!” Guinevere laughed as Amanda blushed.

“Well I need to get going. Arthur was going to see me off. I’ll be back in 10 days. Will you be returning for this ceremony thing?”

Amanda shook her head. “No it’s not anything special. Why do you have to come back for it?”

Guinevere shrugged. “Arthur wants me there with him. Part of his whole relationship plan thing. It’s going to be the last event I go to. I plan to not return once I leave after that.”

“Why come back at all then?” asked Amanda.

“I gave my word,” said Guinevere. “I don’t break that.”

She said her goodbye to Amanda, gathered up her pack and headed off to the vertibirds where Arthur was waiting.


	40. Devastation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deacon overhears something horrifying and races through the night to reach the MacCready's.

* * *

 

“He’s dead. We got him,” said Deacon.

Desdemona eyed him. “You’re sure? How much information did he give them?”

“Doesn’t matter,” said RJ. “You gotta move your HQ, your safehouses and everything.”

“We’re compromised, Des,” sighed Deacon. “We have to treat it like he gave them everything on us, names, descriptions, patrols...everything. We have to move on this now.”

She nodded. “We need to mobilize everyone we can to get the people in the safe houses transferred out. What about Fairfax? Do you think the spy knew about it? That information was never given to tourists.”

Deacon began loading his guns. “Des, we don’t know _how_ much intel he had. Hell one of our agents could have accidentally talked about Fairfax in passing. I don’t know this guy. He never left the fringes. That made him even more dangerous. No one watched him. All this time he was using dead drops and none of us caught wise. We have to crack the info in the safe. It’s all we got now.”

Desdemona looked at RJ. “You need to go. This information is Railroad only. Thank you for your help.”

RJ shook his head. “I need to know what you know. You forget that it’s _my_ wife who’s been compromised by this little deal too.”

Desdemona’s expression turned icy. “ _She_ has yet to give us anything useful. Goodbye, Mr. MacCready.”

RJ’s ire was awoken and he was about to get into it with Desdemona but Deacon grabbed his arm and pulled him away. “Go outside and wait for me. At the dead drop the spy used, in the shadows.”

RJ shook his head. “No. I’m done with this cloak and dagger. I came here for that spy. Guinny’s coming home and that’s where I’m going. You come find us when you’re ready for that info.”

Deacon sighed heavily but nodded. “Stay safe pal,” he said, then turned to Desdemona.

“Crack open that safe. We can’t wait on this!” said Deacon.

“I don’t like the involvement with that mercenary,” she said.  "After our last debacle with the Switchboard we can’t afford any more losses.”

Deacon lit a cigarette. “You’re preaching to the choir Des. But without MacCready we’d still have that Brotherhood spy. And without Guinevere we won’t have the codes.”

Desdemona’s eyes narrowed. “Codes? I’ve heard a lot of talk and no concrete proof.”

“You know we needed to get that spy out of our ranks first. He’s out. Guin’s coming home. I’ll get them from her. But we need to get our people moved pronto. When the Brotherhood realizes their boy isn’t coming home they’ll hit us with a vengeance.”

Desdemona nodded and summoned everyone present.

* * *

 

RJ held onto Guinevere as tightly as he dared, smelling the fragrance of her hair and the softness of it beneath his cheek.

“I’ve missed you Guinny,” he said softly. “Is everything ok? With both of you?”

“Yes, we’re both fine. I need to talk to you about something RJ, before anything else.”

She looked up into his face, then kissed him.

“Uh oh that usually means something bad,” he said.

“No. It’s good. I’m leaving the Brotherhood, but…” she placed a finger against his lips before he could say a word. “I need to go back in 10 days for some event on the Prydwen. However when I leave after that, I’m not going back.”

RJ’s face lit up. The kiss he gave her took her breath away. “That’s the best news I could get right now,” he grinned. “And I have some news too. We got that Brotherhood spy. 6 feet under. We intercepted a communication and now Deacon needs those codes.”

Guinevere closed her eyes and sighed with relief, but it was short lived. RJ told her about the Railroad spy on the Prydwen, and she couldn’t figure out at all who it might be.

“There’s a lot of soldiers onboard,” she said. “A name means nothing as obviously he would have changed it for the roster. My time’s up, there’s nothing more I can do for the railroad. I’ve given the Commonwealth a fighting chance against the Brotherhood now. This balance is the best I could do.”

RJ wrapped his arms around her tenderly. “Guinny, you’ve done more than anyone could have expected. Even the railroad spy couldn’t get what you did. Deacon’s going to come here when he gets through with whatever it is they’re doing.”

She nodded. “I’ll give you the notebook with everything in it. You can give it to him in case I’m not here. Now where’s John?”

The ghoul rounded a corner with a big smile and waved. “There’s our little doll. Good to have you home Sunshine!”

She embraced him, and together the three of them went into the diner.

* * *

Deacon had spent most of his adult life atoning for the wrongs he had committed in  his younger days. He wasn’t proud of the man he had been, and try as he might, could never shake that feeling away no matter how much good he did.

Deacon felt that he didn’t truly deserve his place in the Railroad which is why he was sitting in the darkened ruins of the Old North Church pondering if he really should continue with them or go off on his own.

He was lonely, but couldn’t get past his demons to allow someone into his life. Guinevere had been the closest anyone had gotten to him since his wife’s murder by his old gang many years ago.

Desdemona’s alliance with the Railroad spy further pushed him into the fringes where he already felt he deserved to be. Anyone else would have felt insulted and maligned, but Deacon felt he deserved it.

Glory found him. “You’ve been quite the loner lately. Care to talk about it?”

“Not much to tell,” he said. “Just thinking about things.”

“Things? Sounds heavy.”

“It is,” agreed Deacon. “Wondering if this is where I want to be anymore, you know?”

Glory said nothing but watched him. He’d always been the one who seemed to fit in the best. Losing Deacon would be a huge blow to their organization.

“Maybe you need a break for awhile. It’s been pretty intense around here with all this Brotherhood business. And all this moving around. Never thought we’d see the need to crack open the Plan B from the safe.”

Deacon nodded. “I’m glad most of those places in there were still viable. Shame to lose Ticon though. That place was pretty nice. High Rise is bummed out.”

“Yeah,” agreed Glory. “But he’ll do wonders with the new safehouse we gave him.”

They’d been at it for just over a week. Everyone was emotionally and physically exhausted.

“True. Still…” Deacon didn’t finish his thought as footsteps were heard coming from the tunnels. He held up his hand to Glory for silence.

She gave him a puzzled blink but said nothing.

“This needs to happen now,” said Desdemona. “They’ve compromised our entire operation and could attack us at any time.”

“I’ve got the incendiary devices in place. But the transmitter will be a bit tricky to come by. Teagan guards that supply room zealously I told you that.” The other voice belonged to Todd Hartley.

“He has to sleep sometime.”

“Yeah but there’s the night patrol to contend with not to mention Scribe Stanton.”

“What does _she_ have to do with it?” asked Desdemona clearly irritated.

“She works in there and creeps around at night sometimes.”

“Well she’ll be out of the picture soon anyway. That flying monstrosity needs to be brought down.”

It was dark and Glory and Deacon couldn’t see each other but both had a look of horror on their face.

Yes, the Brotherhood and the Institute were technically the enemy but the rampant killing of so many people had never been part of the agenda.

Their job was to save synths that wanted saving.

Deacon swallowed hard. Did Desdemona’s feelings about Guinevere include killing her and her unborn child? Was her single minded focus on their mission justifying mass murder? He was horrified. After all their years working together, he thought he knew her. Now he saw how wrong he was.

The agent felt the color drain from his face. It became clear to him that Des and Todd had gone down a different road and to him they were out of their minds.

He became shadow and slid out of the HQ, unaware of Glory following behind him.

“Deacon!” she whispered harshly. “What the hell was that? Incendiary devices? Is this the shit you were asking me about before? About Des?”

She saw her own horrified expression mirrored in his glasses.

“It looks like Des and Todd cooked up their own little scheme behind our backs to take out the Prydwen. This is wrong, Glory. I need to get to Guinevere and warn her.”

“It’s night. Not a good plan to travel now. Wait til morning. I’ll go with you.”

Deacon shook his head. “I can’t wait. They need you here. Fuck this. When the hell did we turn into mass murderers? I didn’t sign on for _this_ shit!” He locked and loaded his weapon and disappeared into the night.

* * *

“RJ I’ll be back later today, for good!” Guinevere tried to extricate herself from his fierce embrace, laughing.

It had been 10 days already and she had promised Arthur she’d return. She questioned that decision. Wouldn’t it be better to just stay gone? But there were things she wanted to get from the Prydwen.

She had her goodbye email written and ready to send. She hoped that her friends wouldn’t turn on her for leaving but she had to do what was right for her.

The heavy engines of a vertibird sounded in the quiet air. RJ kissed her and disappeared into the diner.

“Guinevere!”

The out of breath voice made her spin around.

“Deacon?”

The agent was out of breath, sweat pouring from his face onto his shirt. He bent over, one hand towards her. “Guin...Guinevere…”

She walked over. “It’s ok, Deacon, RJ has the notebook you need. He’s inside.”

Deacon stood and grasped her by the shoulders. He saw the vertibird come into view. “Where are you going?”  
  
“To the Prydwen just for a few hours. Then I’m coming back for good. Well, _somewhere_ for good. Might need to lay low for awhile…”

He cut her off. “No. Don’t go back there. Guin, please.”

Guinevere frowned. “You’re being odd Deacon. Has RJ put you up to this? He’s fine with my going. I’ll be back later.”

She turned towards the vertibird sitting across from the Red Rocket on a hillock.

Deacon reached out and grabbed her. “No! You can’t go back. Des...Todd...they’re... they’re going to blow it up!”

Guinevere froze. “W...what?”

“The Railroad spy was up there to plant bombs. You can’t go back now!”

From where he was in the garage, RJ heard her screech and looked out to see his wife shoving Deacon, yelling at him. He ran out to see what was going on.

“Guinny! What’s going on? Deacon, what the hell?!”

Tears were on her cheeks and her face was pale. “The Railroad is going to blow up the Prydwen!”

RJ looked shocked as he stared at his friend. “Is this shit true?” he asked.

“Yes! Don’t let her go back anymore. I don’t know when but it’s not safe up there!”

Guinevere was sobbing as she tried to jog towards the vertibird. RJ sprang forward and caught her hand but she wrenched it free. “I need to warn them!”

“Guinny! It could go at any time!”

“My friends are up there! There are _children_ on board the Prydwen!”

Deacon’s body language was one of utter devastation and defeat. “Oh my god.”

RJ stared at him in shock. “What the hell man?”

Deacon shook himself back to awareness. “I’ll go with you!” he cried out. “Help evacuate the kids and anyone else we can!”

Guinevere snarled at him and shoved him away. “You get away from me! You knew! Didn’t you! You could have told me before now!”

“I _didn’t_ know!” Cried Deacon. “I swear it Guinevere I only found out a few hours ago and came here right away! I’m not cool with this!”

She yelled something at him he didn’t quite make out, and she dashed off as quickly as she could, RJ at her heels.

Reaching the vertibird the pilot helped her up and Deacon saw her frantically tell him what was going on. RJ tried to get in with her but the soldier stopped him.

Firey as always, the mercenary exploded, which ended up with him clocked in the head and sprawled on the ground.

Deacon reached his friend as the ship lifted off. There were tears in RJ’s eyes and his head was bleeding.

“Guinny…” was all he managed to say.

“I didn’t know, I swear to you,” said Deacon miserably.

“I could lose my wife and kid, _again,”_ said RJ, his hand shaking as he wiped his eyes. “I don’t want to hear any of your bullshit right now. I can’t think straight, and if you push me I just might put a bullet between your eyes so just back the fuck off!”

* * *

Guinevere found Arthur on the command deck. She ran to him, grabbing his hand and turning him. “Arthur, there’s bombs on the Prydwen. The Railroad is going to blow it up. We need to get everyone out of here!”

The Elder raised his eyebrows. “Guinevere, I hardly find this amusing. The ceremony is set to begin in one hour.”

“I’m not messing around!” she cried, and he saw with surprise that she was serious. Questions poured from his lips and she did her best to answer them but she was in a frenzy. “Where’s the intercom? We need to warn everyone to get off, _now,_  Arthur!”

He frowned and turned. The three soldiers who were nearby were frozen with shock. One of them roused. “Sir, shall I have the men begin a search for the devices?”

Arthur cleared his head then shook it. “No. I’ll get the senior staff. It’s our responsibility to do the sweep.”

Guinevere gasped. “No, Arthur! Everyone has to get off! Especially you!”

He smiled softly at her. “My beloved. That motley band of scavvers could hardly bring down the Prydwen. We’ll find their little toys and put a stop to them. We know their hideouts, and will mobilize a strike team.”

“They had a _spy_ here, Arthur. A spy! You need to take this seriously!”

He bent and kissed her. “I am, my dear. All this excitement. Look at you, you’re trembling.”

Guinevere hadn’t thought to put on her jacket and her light clothing wasn’t offering her any warmth. She was indeed shivering.

Arthur removed his heavy battle coat and draped it over her shoulders. “Don’t worry yourself over this, Guinevere. I’ll take care of it. You take my vertibird and whomever you wish to the Fort and return tomorrow. I’m sure we’ll have things handled by then.”

" _Evacuate the Prydwen,_ Arthur!” she entreated.

Her eyes were brimming with tears and he relented, his eyes softening.  He turned to the consoles behind him and spoke into a speaker.

“This is Elder Maxson. All non essential personnel are ordered to evacuate immediately. This is not a drill.”

Guinevere was shaking, less with cold than with fear. She stared into Maxson’s eyes, so bright and confident.  Around her she was aware of a flurry of ordered movement. People mobilized at the command of their Elder.

He turned back to the speaker.  “All senior staff to report to the command deck! Now!”

He touched her cheek with a slight smile. “Go now, Guinevere.  Round up those children of yours.”

Guinevere snapped out of her trance.  The children! Turning towards their section of the ship, she stopped in her tracks and looked back.

She ran to Arthur and threw her arms around him. He laughed lightly and picked her up, holding her close. He kissed her tenderly then set her down.  Reaching into his pocket he drew out a tiny box.

“Take this, and return it to me when you come back.”

Guinevere put it in the pocket of the battle coat without a glance. “Please come, just evacuate everyone! This is serious Arthur!”

He shook his head and his attention turned to the assembly of the first officers, giving them their immediate orders.

Turning back to her, he touched her hair. “I love you, Guinevere.”

She backed up, the tears now spilling from her eyes. “I love you, too. You’re a good man, Arthur Maxson! Please come with me!”

Arthur gave her a smile. “Go get those children. I’ll see you soon.”

Guinevere ran. She stopped at her quarters and grabbed her pack.

She screamed for the children, a few of which appeared from various areas around their quarters. She ordered them to go to the flight deck and get on a vertibird.

She ran for Liz and Martin but didn’t see them. Quinlan came around the corner holding his cat.

“Scribe Stanton! What on earth is going on?”

“Get on a bird and get to the ground! Bombs on the ship!” she yelled at him, pointing towards the flight deck bulkhead.

He paled and stammered but she was already moving on. Quinlan wasn't a brave man and didn't need to be told twice to escape. Knight Captain Cade jogged around a corner carrying his medical bag. Guinevere was tiring and her abdomen felt uncomfortable. She held one hand over it. Cade’s eyes widened as he saw her wearing the Elder’s battlecoat.

“What’s going on?” he asked. His eyes glanced at her belly.

She tried to straighten up. “Bombs on the Prydwen! I’m looking for Liz and Martin!”

“They were ordered to evacuate and would have done so. Are you alright?”

She nodded. “The children, I didn’t see them all!”

“They’re trained to obey just like the rest of us. Let’s go!”

He led the way to the flight deck. There were vertibirds coming and going from Fort Strong, taking as many people as they could. Guinevere ran for Maxson’s big craft. There were several children on the flight deck, and Martin. He loaded them onto a waiting ship. He saw Guinevere.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“Bombs! Get on Maxson’s vertibird, let’s go!”

“I need to make sure everyone’s off first. You go, I’ll catch the next bird!”

Guinevere didn’t waste any more time. She’d gotten what she wanted and now it was time to get out. Several people ran up and got into Maxson’s vertibird, probably believing that he would be flying it.

She started the engine and waited a moment, hoping Arthur would follow.

She saw the flight deck commander give her a thumbs up and she felt the ship release. She flew away from the Prydwen with shaking hands.

 _Arthur was probably right,_ she told herself. They’d find the few bombs that the spy had planted. Why hadn’t she been more aggressive about finding him? She never thought of the railroad as a murderous crew. They spent their lives saving people! If she’d even thought them capable of it, she would never have helped them.

Fort Strong came into view as a few more vertibirds flew past her.  She landed and everyone got off, milling around the ship talking, trying to figure out what had happened.

Guinevere looked towards the ship that had taken the children. She counted 11. Where were the other 5?

Frantic she searched the people on the ground. None of them were children.

Quinlan sidled up to her. “I don’t see Martin,” he said. “Or Liz.”

“I’m here,” said a voice behind Guinevere. She turned and Liz embraced her.

“Martin was behind me, he said he was taking the next bird,” said Guinevere.

“What’s going on?” asked Liz. Guinevere explained as best she could.

“The Elder will sort it out,” said the horticulturist. “Those rabble rousers couldn’t bring down the Prydwen!”

Suddenly the earth shook.

There was a horrific deep loud boom that was felt all the way through their bodies. A wave of energy blasted across the group. The children screamed, and everyone assembled hit the ground.

Guinevere turned and saw a bright ball of fire where the Prydwen had been. One of the vertibirds that had left after her careened, on fire, down to the ground and exploded.

The Prydwen seemed to scream, a wrenching, screeching sound of metal bending and melting. Secondary explosions shot through the air like a macabre fireworks show.

For a few moments there was silence from the group as they stared in rapt horror at the scene. As the gas containers that kept the Prydwen in the air heated up, _more_ violent explosions rocked the remains of the beautiful airship which fell to the ground in shattered pieces.

Then the reality of what the were witnessing hit them.

“Arthur!” Guinevere heard herself screaming his name, over and over. Wearing his battle coat, which was leagues too large for her, she looked like a child playing dress up. But that child’s eyes were huge with horror, the face devoid of all color. The heavy leather garment fell from her shoulders as she sat screaming.

* * *

RJ sat at the table, his head in his hands. Deacon was nearby, not daring to speak. There had been no word, no sign of a single vertibird in the sky. The whole world seemed strangely silent.

“She can’t be gone,” whispered RJ. “Not my Guinny. She got out. Yeah, she got out. Nothing happened. Just taking a while to get back home is all.”

He needed to hear the words out loud as though saying them would make them true.

Deacon said nothing. How had everything gone so crazy? When had the Railroad gone from helping synths to murdering children? He was shaking, and did his best to smoke his cigarette without it showing. They wouldn’t blame him, would they? He hadn’t known til that night! His friends couldn't possibly think him capable of keeping such a secret, right?

RJ refused to look at his friend. He couldn’t formulate a coherent thought, the mere idea that his wife and baby were dead was too much for him to bear and he thought of every possible way she could have survived. It had been hours. Maybe the bombs hadn’t gone off. Maybe they hadn’t found any serious ones and disarmed them. So many maybes. If Guinevere were alive she’d have returned to him by now surely?

RJ rested his head on his arms and cried. He’d thought his sad days were behind him when he met Guinevere. He was sure they were when she’d married him.

He felt a comforting hand on his shoulder and knew it was Hancock. The mayor was silent, but the grief and fear coming from the ghoul was almost palpable.

RJ got up and went to the bedroom to lay down. He could smell Guinevere’s fragrance and inhaled deeply. _Come home Mrs. MacCready,_ he silently begged whatever might be listening. _I’ll never ask for anything again, I swear._

Standing in the shadows, Deacon let a tear slide from his eyes and creep out beneath his glasses.

The hours ticked past.


	41. Dissolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not every ending is a happy one as the losses are realized and lives are forever changed.

* * *

 

The remains of the Brotherhood of Steel’s eastern division took a head count. They had lost 5 children, countless Scribes and Knights, Martin and all the senior staff. There was an unknown number of troops on the ground in several locations, but the deaths from the Prydwen were devastating.

They had lost their Elder.

Guinevere found herself sobbing in Cade and Liz’s arms, and her grief was so sharp she had trouble regaining control. 

“Don’t fight it love,” said Liz. “Cry it out.” Her own eyes were foggy but she forced herself to hold it together for her friend.

Guinevere cried until there were no tears left and she was beset by the hiccups.

Her friends didn’t speak, but sat with her and let her come to herself when she was ready. Guinevere’s eyes fell on the group of children sitting huddled together. 

“The children,” she said. “We need to see to them.”

They had so many questions, the older ones asking and the younger ones hanging onto Guinevere and sobbing. They were extremely upset and frightened, listing off the names of their brothers and sisters who weren’t accounted for. 

“You are our future Knights and Paladins!” said Liz firmly. “It’s up to you to work together with us to rebuild. The Brotherhood is not defeated, and we’ll honor the memory of our fallen.”

The children stood up a bit straighter, although some were still visibly and understandably shaken.

Guinevere looked around. She recognized one of the Knight-Captains who had helped her set up the play area at the Fort. She beckoned to him and addressed the children.

“You all know KC Farnham, right? And you all know where the art station is! Well he’s going to go with you and you can show him what you’ve done. Then you’ll all choose your rooms and start getting things together.”

The children nodded with a polite “yes ma’am” and obediently went with the Knight-Captain.

Guinevere watched them go, and became aware of the ache in her muscles, especially her back. The adrenaline was wearing off and her emotional pain became physical. Without thinking, she gently rubbed her belly.

Cade approached her, and put an arm around her shoulder, gently leading her away from the group. “When were you going to tell me?” he asked her quietly.

“I’m sorry?” Guinevere turned puzzled eyes towards him.

Cade pointed to her belly. “The baby. I can see you’re pregnant, Scribe Stanton.”

Her heart leaped out of her chest. She tried to come up with something to say but her energy and emotions were in tatters.

“I don’t know, Dr. Cade,” she sighed heavily.

“You’ll need proper medical care. My sickbay...it’s...it will take me awhile to get set up again. It will need to be a priority. Do you agree?”

“Why are you asking  _ me _ ?” she asked. “I’m just a Scribe. The highest rank here has to take over. Find Paladin Danse.”

Eric was still alive and out there at the new base. So was Amanda and Brent. The thought comforted her. Her dearest friends were still alive.

Cade nodded. “I believe there’s a radio inside. I’ll radio Danse and let him know what happened. Word of this will travel like wildfire through the Commonwealth. Our enemies will think us down and out but we need to be ready to show them that’s not the case. Let’s head inside, Guinevere.”

Guinevere shook her head. “I’m going home. I can’t be here right now…” She couldn’t hold back the new flood of tears that filled her eyes and flowed down her cheeks. She turned away from the conflagration that was the remains of the Prydwen as it burned and smoldered on the ground of the airport.

_ Arthur. _

She remembered that day when she’d turned back and looked at him, seeing the softness in those blue eyes and the slight smile on his lips. Unconsciously she wrapped her arms around herself, then picked up the battlecoat from where it lay on the ground, the lambswool collar resting against her face. She smelled the slight fragrance of the soap Arthur always used and burst into sobs.

Liz looked over and saw her, approaching with arms outstretched and embraced her. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I know you truly loved the Elder. He loved you too. He actually told me that.”

Guinevere felt the twisting guilt inside her like a hot knife. She had lied to him, spied on them all, and now there were so many dead. Yet here were her brothers and sisters thinking her tears were for Arthur Maxson because she had loved him.

Guinevere forced herself out of that thought process and wiped her eyes, holding the coat against her, hiding her softly swollen belly. She didn’t need anyone else to know about the pregnancy. They’d find out eventually, but at the present moment Guinevere just wanted to keep it to herself.

She walked towards Maxson’s vertibird. She didn’t think anyone would object to her taking it.

Cade followed her “Did he know?” he asked her softly.

“Did who know what?” asked Guinevere turning back to him.

“Arthur. Did he know about the child? This little one is now the Maxson heir, the last of the line!”

Guinevere raised shocked eyebrows. “I’m sorry...what?”

“Don’t be afraid to tell me,” said Cade. “I’ll keep it between us. This child is the new hope for the Brotherhood, Guinevere. We need to protect them.”

She tried to say something, anything, but no words came out. 

“We’ll do everything we can for you and Arthur’s baby,” said Cade gently, kindly.

Guinevere shook her head, slowly at first, then with more vehemence. “No...no, Roger...this isn’t...no. You’re wrong about that. Arthur and I, we never...we didn’t...it’s not his.”

Cade’s expression was one of compassion and sadness, but he didn’t believe a word. Like his former Elder, Roger Cade thought of Guinevere as a staid and steadfast Brotherhood soldier, loyal to the core. “I understand,” he said. “You need to keep this to yourself for now. I know you loved him. Your baby will be perfection, just as the two of you are...were...I’m sorry Guinevere. Please...please return to me so I can see to your medical needs.”

She shook her head. “It’s not Arthur’s baby!” she exclaimed.

It was apparent that Cade had no desire to believe her. He had decided, in his own grief, that the child she was carrying was the last Maxson, Arthur’s heir, and nothing she said could change his mind.  Guinevere turned away, her hand raised to the ladder of the vertibird. She climbed aboard and started the engine. The remnants of the Brotherhood watched her go, too numb to do more than stare. 

She lifted off and did her best not to look at the destroyed and burning Prydwen, not wanting to think about the dead that were being cremated there.

_ Deacon did this, _ she thought, her sorrow hardening into anger.  _ It was the Railroad, and his people who committed this murderous act. _

She hoped, for his sake that he wasn’t at the Red Rocket. She wanted RJ and Hancock, wanted her family to surround her and protect her broken heart. Her traitorous former lover was the last thing she wanted to deal with.

Guinevere landed in her customary spot, and stumbled out of the ship. “RJ!” she screamed.

She made it to the gate, unable to take another step. She couldn’t breathe properly, her chest was tight, her ribs ached and her muscles refused to obey her command to move her forward.  A rubbery sensation came over her, and she saw RJ and Hancock running in her direction.

Everything moved in slow motion as she saw herself falling to the ground to be caught in RJ’s arms as he lifted her off her feet. One of her hands curled around one of Hancock’s knotted ones and held tight.

She heard a wailing, sobbing sound and realized it was coming from her but she couldn’t stop.

RJ spoke her name and comforting words over and over, and she heard Hancock talking but didn’t comprehend. It didn’t matter. She was safe with her family.

RJ lay her on the couch and smoothed her hair back from her face, drying the tears from her cheeks. Guinevere locked eyes with him and stayed that way for several minutes. She felt her racing heart slow down and her panic subside.

And then she saw  _ him _ .

Deacon stood, pale and staring from a few feet away.  He approached and fell to his knees before her.

“Honey….oh Guin...we thought we lost you!”

_ Deacon did this! _

Her mind screamed, and her voice followed. With a screech she sat up, and shoved the Railroad agent back, hard.  He fell backwards with a yelp.

“ _ You _ did this!” she screamed. “ _ You _ murdered my brothers and sisters! The children! You murdered innocent children! You goddamn bastard!”

She lashed out with her fists, and Deacon covered his face with his hands, his sunglasses falling to the ground.

“Guin!”’ he cried. “I didn’t know! Des kept everything from me!”

Guinevere felt RJ gently but firmly pull her away from Deacon and try to hold onto her. 

“Guinny, the baby....this isn’t good for you. Come on, sit down with me.”

He pulled her towards the couch but she struck out with her feet, kicking the agent viciously.

He curled up defensively and then crawled away. “I swear, I didn’t know,” he moaned.

Guinevere stopped her attack and watched him, as one would watch a worm trying to escape a bird. Her eyes narrowed and hardened.

“You’re a liar,” she hissed. “You’re the highest ranking agent! The most trusted! You expect us to believe you didn’t know?That’s an insult to  _ all  _ of us! You’ve never been honest with anyone in your life!”

“No, Guin, I’m not lying about this!” cried Deacon. “I never lied to  _ you _ , never you. Not about anything serious!”

“You looked in my eyes and told me you loved me! Then you left me alone, at night, in the back of a truck! That’s not love, you filthy liar!”

Deacon shook his head. “I did love you! That wasn’t a lie!” His eyes glanced at RJ, then back at her. “I  _ do _ ! Fucking hell Guinevere  _ I still do _ ! That’s why I busted my ass running here to tell you about the bombs!”

She shook her head as tears fell from her eyes. “You’re a murderer, and a liar.”

Hancock had been cleaning his gun on the table earlier and she casually picked it up. Deacon looked up at her then at Hancock and RJ, sorrow and fear in his eyes.

“Your life is forfeit,” she whispered, and cocked the weapon, pointing it at him.

“Guin...Guinevere...you wouldn’t shoot me....come on Guin. You  _ know _ me. I wouldn’t lie about something this serious, right?” Deacon’s voice was shaking as badly as the rest of him. He had never seen such hard coldness from Guinevere. She had always been soft and gentle. The wasteland had a way of changing people, but this was one change Deacon never wished to see. His heart broke.

A sob tore from Guinevere’s throat and she blinked quickly. RJ took the gun from her hands and Deacon sighed with relief but it was short lived.

“Get up,” said the mercenary, levelling the weapon at him.

“What the fuck….MacCready….you can’t be serious!” stammered Deacon.

“Remember the spy?” asked RJ. “I took his head off just for doing what  _ he _ did. Think I won’t do the same to you for the shit you pulled? Now get the fuck UP!”

Deacon struggled to his feet, crushing his sunglasses. He stared at his friend.

“You don’t believe me either? Shit...don’t kill me, man,” he said. “I’m an asshole. I get it. You’re right. But please …”

“This is how it’s gonna be,” said RJ. “You’re getting your ass away from here, away from me, Hancock and Guinny. You don’t turn around, you don’t look back. You get the fuck gone, got it?”

Deacon nodded quickly. He didn’t know if the mercenary would put a bullet in his head the moment he turned but he had no choice.  He’d just lost the only friends he ever had. And this time it wasn’t even his fault. However there was nothing he could do about it. It was what it was and he gave up, his shoulders slumping and his head down.

His sins had come back to revisit him.

_ I deserve nothing less,  _ he thought miserably.  _ I don’t even deserve to die by a friend’s hand. _

Deacon turned slowly and began walking towards the exit. He heard the click of the weapon.

“If I ever see you, or get the idea that it  _ might _ be you,” said RJ. “I promise that it’s the last thing you ever do. I’ll hunt your ass and put you down. Got me?” RJ’s voice was hard.

Deacon nodded, not turning around and raised his hand before walking out as quickly as he dared.

RJ and Hancock turned to a shaking, sobbing Guinevere and embraced her, their little family forming a circle and sharing her grief and pain.


	42. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tying up some loose ends in the aftermath of the Prydwen's destruction.

* * *

 

Guinevere lifted the heavy coat and draped it onto the display mannequin.

_Arthur._

She touched the sheepskin collar, then ran her hand down the worn leather. She touched on something hard in the pocket and she remembered the little box he had given her that fateful day two months ago.

Reaching in she retrieved it. On carefully opening the worn little box, Guinevere saw the beautiful ring inside it.

“Oh heavens,” she whispered, lifting it out. On the inside of the band was carved _“Lady Guinevere”_ and a note was folded in the box, written in Arthur’s beautiful handwriting. “Lady Guinevere, with all my love, your King Arthur.”

It looked like he’d wanted to etch the whole sentence but there hadn’t been enough room. She ran her fingertips over the writing, her eyes filling with tears.

 _Oh Arthur_ , she thought. _Your feelings were genuine and I did nothing but deceive you._

Guilt was her constant bedfellow, and she spent endless hours wondering if all her spying had been worth it. She had hated Arthur and the Brotherhood at first. She wanted the Commonwealth to have a fighting chance against them. But in no way did it ever enter her mind that they should be murdered.

She turned the ring over and over in her fingers, wondering where Arthur could have gotten something so beautiful. Her hand went to the pendant around her neck, her wedding gift from RJ. Most likely from the Capital Wastes, like her husband had.

Guinevere had finally admitted to herself that if she hadn’t gotten together with RJ, that she eventually would have married Arthur. _Would I have been happy with him? Being a military wife was hard enough the first time._ She sighed deeply. _I’m sorry, Arthur. I’m so deeply sorry for everything that happened._ At least he’d died believing he was loved. That was a small comfort.

RJ mounted the stairs. “Hey Guinny, what’s up?” he asked, then seeing her expression immediately went to her side.

She held up the ring. “He really did love me, RJ,” she whispered.

He took it and looked it over. “This is quite the treasure. Worth a fortune back in the day I guess. It’s really nice. You should wear it Guinny.”

She blinked in surprise. “What? RJ, you hated him.”

He shrugged. “He was a dick to me, yeah, but he didn’t deserve to die like that. Can’t blame him for falling in love with you. Hell I fell over the cliff the day I met you too. He’s dead now Guinny, and this is just a ring. If you like it, wear it.”

She placed it on her finger and looked at it. It was truly beautiful, a large sparkling solitaire. She’d had only a wedding band when she married Nate so long ago.

“It looks nice on you,” said RJ softly. “It doesn’t bug me, Guinny.”

Guinevere removed it, put it back in the box, and returned it to the coat pocket. Seeing the ring on her finger every day would remind her of her guilt and shame. She wanted to put it all behind her as best she could, but as it was, that was proving difficult enough.

“No. I don’t need it. I was never one for trinkets like this, RJ. I did, and still do a lot of gardening. Its silly in this world to have such fancy things. The old world...it’s over. There’s no place in this one for such luxuries.”

It was hard for her to admit that the old world she had so desperately wanted to recreate not that long ago was now just part of the past. Over 200 years in the past. It was time to let it go and work on the here and now.

Guinevere placed her arms around RJ’s waist and hugged close to him, standing slightly sideways to accommodate her baby bump. He stroked her back and kissed the top of her head. “Well this new world has seemed pretty good to me since I found you.”

She looked up with a smile. “Do you really love me, RJ? Is this what you want?”

He let his lips graze against hers. “I plan on walking this earth with you until the day I die. That give you enough of a clue?”

Guinevere deepened the kiss, and RJ was only too happy to return it.

He grinned. “Kinda amazing how we’re going to be a family soon.”

“We’ve been a family for a long time already!”

“Yeah but you know what I mean. Me you and the little guy. A real family. A normal one, you know?”

She stroked his cheek and smiled into his eyes. “You’re going to be the perfect dad RJ.”

He beamed at the compliment, then his face grew serious. “You still going to bring the baby to Danse when they’re born?”

She nibbled on her lower lip. “I don’t really know. I’ve let go of him, and think of you as the baby’s daddy. You’re the only father he’s going to ever know RJ. I can’t see Danse ever changing his mind and going back to how things were. Too much has happened now. Everyone knows we’re married. The Brotherhood is existing, trying to rebuild.”

“That doctor guy still think it’s Arthur’s baby?”

Guinevere rolled her eyes. “For awhile he’d gotten a few of the others on the bandwagon but I’d insisted over and over that Arthur is not the father. I think he got it through his thick skull, but who knows. He hasn’t mentioned it when I go see him.”

“Did you say the baby was mine?” asked RJ.

Guinevere shook her head. “I’ve honestly avoided all talk of it. They know I’m married to you and let them think what they want. I’m only going there to see Cade for medical attention. It’s convenient to be pregnant so I have an excuse not to travel and to start severing those ties. I mean I love Liz and Amanda, but they’re at different posts. Now that Danse has taken over Fort Strong I try to avoid it as much as possible.”

RJ held her close, gently stroking her back. “You won’t get any argument from me if you never go there again. But I get it if you do want him to see the baby, if you think it’s his. A kid deserves to know who his parents are.”

She carded her fingers through his hair. “Maybe it won’t even be an issue. This baby could be yours biologically too RJ. At this point, that’s what I wish so deeply.”

RJ moved to kiss her, whispering _me too_ as their lips met.

* * *

 

Elder Eric Danse strode through the halls of Fort Strong in his power armor, those he met along the way saluting respectfully.

He met with the new senior staff, who reported that no news had come from the West. It could be years before the decision to make him Elder of the Eastern Division permanently reached them.

They couldn’t go home, they had lost their ship. He decided that the threat that had brought them to bear upon the Commonwealth was still present, and there was no sense in abandoning their post. Work on locating the Institute was ongoing.

It was a hard road for the remnants of the Brotherhood. They didn’t have the manpower to operate all the bases they had worked so hard to acquire, and they had doled them out to settlers rather than see the places fall to raiders.

The only power armor they had was the ones the ground troops owned, and teams of two were sent out to search for more. The Commonwealth was aware of their defeat, and there was no shortage of enemies that considered taking down another Brotherhood soldier a major victory.

The Railroad, who was responsible for the heinous murders and destruction of the Prydwen, was Brotherhood enemy #1. Anyone suspected of being in collusion with the Railroad was killed on sight. They had yet to regain their intel on the headquarters and main players, but Danse was confident that he would.

He had stepped in to take over 5 months ago, at the urging of the remaining Brotherhood soldiers. He was devastated when news of the destruction had reached him, which was hours after it happened.

He had refused the honor at first, having always preferred to live in the field, but the tragedy of losing Elder Maxson had convinced him they needed a strong leader.

The emotional trauma suffered by the Brotherhood had taken one more life; Proctor Quinlan had committed suicide a week after the Prydwen was destroyed. They had found his body in the room he had initially chosen as his new office, having given his cat to Liz the day before.

His suicide note said he knew he was a coward, but he just couldn’t face living in the wastes, knowing he would most likely never see home again. He had idolized Elder Maxson deeply, and the loss devastated him completely.

Danse insisted he be buried with full Brotherhood honors in the graveyard they had set up to bury those they could and commemorate those they couldn’t.

Liz had begun setting up a new garden, in order to grow their own food and be self sustaining.  They no longer had the power behind them to demand food from the neighboring farmers.  Her planters were a success, and she planned to move from base to base, setting up the same and showing the soldiers how to tend it.

The Brotherhood squires were given a tutor and continued their lessons, but it was proving to be a challenge. Some of the older children, who had left families behind, wanted to leave the Commonwealth and return home to the Capital Wastes. There were caravans leaving from Diamond City every month, and several had decided to take their chances. The rest did their best to be helpful with the rebuilding effort.

Knight-Captain Roger Cade had set up another medical bay with help from Guinevere. She had insisted that her baby wasn’t Arthur’s and eventually he had resigned himself to that fact. It had been a beacon of hope that had flickered out.

Guinevere and her husband appeared one day and she went into labor. After 14 hours, her little boy was born. Cade was pleased to have been able to help, new life was always a positive sign.

The child was beautiful but looked nothing like Arthur Maxson and that had driven the point home. The Maxson line had ended. He, and the rest of them had to accept it.

Guinevere had laughed and said her son looked a lot like her own father had, with the same blue eyes and dark blonde hair. She remarked how proud a grandfather he would have been. Her husband was sure the little boy looked like him but Cade didn’t think the baby did, however he was aware that genetics were a strange beast. The baby would change many times as he grew up. Cade saw how happy Guinevere was and had to admit it was nice to see after the loss she suffered with Maxson.

Elder Danse hadn’t made an appearance which seemed strange; the first Brotherhood child born was a cheerful event. But Guinevere said nothing about it and after a few days she and her husband returned home with their little boy.

Life continued on for the remains of the Brotherhood of Steel.

* * *

Then there was Deacon.

The agent had wandered the wasteland for many weeks after leaving his friends for the last time. When he returned to the Railroad HQ he had refused to look at Desdemona. Everyone had been in high spirits, so pleased with themselves on destroying the Prydwen. They saw only a metal hulk. Deacon blatantly told them what they had done, that they were mass murderers who killed children.

“I signed on here to save synths. To give people a chance at _life_. What you did Des, was reprehensible and caused not only death but the destruction of relationships too. I’m out.”

He’d grabbed his few personal belongings and walked through the assembly, the silent shocked eyes following him.

Glory and Tom had come after him, filled with questions but Deacon simply said goodbye and disappeared into the darkness.

 _This is the penance for my sins that’s been long in coming,_ he thought sadly. _For all the lives I destroyed back in the day, it’s only fair that I walk the world alone._

Deacon considered where he should go, what he should do, as he believed that there was still good to be done. The Institute was still out there, and synths were still being held as slaves.

He was tempted to scope out the Red Rocket and check up on Guinevere. She would have had her baby by now and he was curious about the little guy. But MacCready’s dire warning weighed heavy on his mind and he abandoned the thought.

 _Maybe one day I can attain some forgiveness,_ he thought as he hammered some siding onto his sad little shack in the wilderness. _Even if I’m an old man barely alive, I’ll work towards it until the day I stop breathing._

The scarred up hound at his side looked up and whined softly.

“Just you and me boy, just you and me,” said Deacon and continued with his work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ends part 1 of "At First Sight". I know there's still a lot of unanswered questions.  
> What's Guinevere's baby's name?  
> Who's the baby's father, Danse or RJ?  
> Does Hancock get together with Haylen?  
> Is the Institute ever located?
> 
> There's so much yet to tell and maybe one day I'll tell it. But unfortunately I'm too busy to commit to another large fic like this one. The best I can do is squeeze out little one shots of Guinevere and RJ, Deacon, and maybe introduce you to a new character I've been playing. I really hope you've enjoyed At First Sight. Thanks for reading!


End file.
